where's my heart attack?

life rarely gives you what you want. it always gives you what you need. i dont know why life thinks i need this but there's nothing i can do about it i guess. what doesnt kill me makes me stronger right? maybe. but i think im much weaker now compared to my early college years. i find this current self annoying. it makes me susceptible to the common problems of man. the reason why i find it annoying is because man's common problems are really simple and easy to deal with, but given the way man's mind has been conditioned, the simple problem becomes a difficult obstacle.

problems are man-made, caused by man himself, inherently relative.

this current self really isnt working for me.

assuming the automated elections work...

if i were to choose which presidential candidate is the most qualified to be president, its Gibo Teodoro (followed by Gordon and then Villar). that is if my basis is their individual qualifications like competence, leadership skills and political experience. i said this to my cousin last year (that Gibo is the most qualified among the candidates).

Gibo is currently facing a handful of problems. but if despite these defections and rumors, Gibo manages to solve all these problems he is facing, it will give him the much needed boost he needs because it would show how capable he is, on how good his leadership skills are, that he will certainly be a very good president. like i said in an earlier blog post, Teodoro still has a chance of winning and he has better chance of winning compared to Estrada.

unfortunately, im still not voting for Gibo. why? because my basis is not how competent the candidate is but what their respective administrations will look like (and its socio-economic and political impact to the country. haha). right now, i think an Aquino administration is better than a Teodoro administration...in our current situation.

the way i see it, a Teodoro administration is like a "mild" version of what i think a Gordon administration will look like. a leadership of this kind is what the country needs but not necessarily what the country wants. an Aquino administration on the other hand will be more focused on what the country wants and might go for what the country needs from time to time. the latter is something the country will find easier to accept.

also, an Aquino administration looks more "interesting" compared to a Teodoro administration which i consider as very promising (while an Arroyo administration is annoying). the problem with characterizing something as promising is the uncertainty it brings with it.

tabula rasa

if there will be a time that i will be proven wrong, please let it be this one.

ive been right about most things. i have correctly predicted the outcome of most situations. so far ive been right about how 2010 will be. if im still right about this particular occurrence (which i have classified as an inevitability since last year), them im almost certain how the rest of the year will play out (which also gives me a vague idea about the next couple of years). and if things go the way i see it will go, i see only one option that could help me endure what's about to happen.

in an unrelated matter, another earthquake happened, this time in China. maybe an earthquake can save me from this situation? maybe. but thats just the easy way out of the predicament i placed myself in. i wonder if this is how suicidal people feel like when they want to quit life? well, much as i want to quit, life just doesnt want to quit on me. besides, in my life, there is no such thing as an easy way out so i would probably get used to it after some time and bounce back again after hitting this abysmal low im about to take. well, that is, if im still going to be right and my foresight is just that good.   

im a mechanical being with a non-mechanical existence

the world and the system that makes it work is very rational. logic reigns supreme. humans on the other hand have irrational tendencies. in the realm of the irrational, love reigns supreme. but this is just a human tendency because man remains to be a rational animal and collectively operates in a rational world. its the irrational that makes things interesting i guess. but rationality is what prevents this world from crumbling into chaos. therefore rationality is the basis of the human world order. this is what makes civilization possible. but small doses of irrationality makes the world go round. it what moves people beyond being simple mechanical creatures.

one month to go

in about a month, we will cast our votes and elect the next set of national public officials. my cousin asked me a few days ago who i think will win the presidential race. i said i dont know. last year i told him its going to be a fight between Aquino and Villar. eventually i said its going to be a 3 way contest between Aquino, Teodoro and Villar. with about a month to go, i think its still probable for Teodoro to catch up and its still possible for him to win. highly improbable and almost impossible but there's still a chance. Teodoro has a better chance of winning compared to Estrada even if the latter ranks third in the surveys.

today is april 5

at this very moment, i now have around a thousand unread emails. and i dont know when i will have time to read them. problem is, reading these unread emails will never be a priority and at the same time i cant delete them without reading them. damn it. its a thing of mine i cant break.

as of yesterday, i was addicted to chips, chocolate and coca-cola. i consume them every single day since around mid-january of this year. im going to try to do something with this addiction...by replacing it with new ones. it doesn't have to be food. my siblings also noted that this might be the first summer that i havent watched 50 First Dates. well, probably not yet. why? the DVDs broken. i need to buy a new DVD of the movie. 

last summer, my best friends were coffee, cigarettes and sisig. i just needed it to help me get by.

in a few minutes, it will be 2am. and the saying "nothing good happens after 2am" proved to be true last year. probably the saddest things happen after 2am. or maybe im just a very unfortunate person.

in a few hours, i will wake up and confront the mess ive placed myself into and wind up some things at work.