the day my music died

i cant bear to listen to what used to be my mood changer beach boys song. i cant even listen to any song from the 50 First Dates soundtrack. wow. i guess ive outgrown it. too bad. it would have been a decade by next year.

i remember playing it all night long back in 2004. i remember bringing a CD player to listen to it while wearing a graduation toga for the baccalaureate mass. i remember putting my cellphone by my ear to listen to Wouldn't It Be Nice when the get together with college friends got too boring for me. i remember listening to it non-stop during my stay in Bicol. i remember playing it over and over until 2005. it was the only thing i played in my beloved auto. its always in my playlist in all my music players. its in my laptop, mp3 player, tablet, cellphones, memory cards, etc. any media or gadget that plays music, i always have the 50 First Dates soundtrack in it. the full soundtrack and not just the OST. my siblings find it sickening because i tend to play it randomly when things just get too boring. and ive been doing it for almost a decade. heck! i even watched 50 First Dates on the 1st of January of this year. first movie of the year.

now, i cant listen to it anymore. whenever a 50 First Dates song is played while listening to a shuffled playlist, i skip it and when it keeps popping up, i switch the player off. i got tired of it i guess. ive outgrown whatever feelings i have for it. i'll be deleting it in my playlist. for the first time in nine years, my music players wont have 50 First Dates in it.

Words of wisdom from the super pervert

Getting dumped always makes a man stronger. And if he hasn’t experienced it enough to be able to laugh and joke about it, or at least use it as material, he can’t fulfill his duties as a man.

Men aren’t meant to pursue happiness.

Wherever someone thinks of you, that's where home is. 

When people get hurt, they learn to hate... when people hurt others, they become hated and racked with guilt. But knowing that pain allows people to be kind. Pain allows people to grow... and how you grow is up to you.

...Thinking back on it, my story is one full of failures. Tsunade turned me down every time. I couldn't save my friend. I failed to protect my student...and my teacher. Compared to the great hokages that came before me, my accomplishments have been petty and insignificant. I wanted to die like them. A long time ago, I had a conclusion to how my life would end. I lived believing my short-comings were just amusing distractions! That my failings would build character! and in return... After all those losses and mistakes, I would be granted one great, final adventure...

I have been a fool for lesser things

HIMYM S08E20

Ted: Ok, wait, so you're saying, it's doomed completely? One of us is just guaranteed to get sick of the other and call it quits?

Coat-Check Girl: You've been dating for a long time Ted. Has it ever gone any other way?

xxx

Ted: I think I'm going to head home.

Barney: I understand.

Ted: Well, you're not going to try and stop me?

Barney: And how will I try and stop you?

Ted: I don't know. By telling me life is short and if you ever come across a beautiful, exciting, crazy moment in it, you have to seize it while you can before that moment's gone.

Barney: Ted, this moment already is gone. The whole Minesotta Tidal Wave thing happened five years ago. It's just a memory. And the rest of this? Never happened. Right now, Marshall and Lily are upstairs, trying to get little Marvin to go back to sleep. Robin and I are trying to decide on a caterer. And you've been sitting here all night staring at a single ticket to Robots vs. Wrestlers because the rest of us couldn't come out. Look around Ted. You're all alone.

this was supposed to be a march 25th post

i havent written anything for almost 2 months. and im writing now not because im in the mood to write but circumstances have forced to keep my mind occupied with something else.

first, future self, i would like to inform you that i am now working in Makati. got hired in a GOCC last 11 February. how you ask? it happened so fast that i dont know how to explain it either. and ever since, you've been incredibly busy that you dont sleep that much. except last weekend.

2nd, you met an accident 2 weekends ago. i wrecked the auto. sorry for that. but the worst thing that happened is that you hurt someone you deeply care for. that brings us to the third update.

3rd, youve been dating a girl for almost 4 months. and this is a girl that you considered to take seriously right from the start. how did it go? i wouldnt know. the future is not for me to see but if you will ask me, i really hope its a "happily ever after" or something quite like it. not because im tired of the usual tragedy i find myself in but because if i will be given a "happily ever after", i would like it to be with her. unfortunately, ive been a wreck recently and im bound to screw things up with the way i am now. i hope i dont mess things up for you future self. but if i do, well, i know an apology will never suffice.