just went to baguio last week. now i know which doctor is telling the truth or at least had a correct diagnosis. after consulting three doctors in a span of more or less four years, 2 of them were to a certain extent correct and one them could be sued for medical malpractice (i think) if i had decided to follow her instructions (tell me to take some chemotherapy capsules huh? theres such a thing as the internet where i can research for side effects and the necessity of such medication. the fact she failed to inform me of it just made her less credible. well, no actual damage was incurred and it was probably because i refused to follow her instructions. if im not convinced, i wont do it).
anyway, i didnt get any of em headaches like the last time i went to baguio (december 05 if i remember correctly). thats good news. or bad news. it depends on whose perspective were using. the fact i didnt experience any headache during my recent stay could mean my blood condition has improved. my blood's viscosity is more normal than before (i used the phrase "more normal" because last semester, my more correct doctor said that its very likely i have no polycythemia after all, it just so happens its natural for me to have an abnormal blood viscosity, more viscous than the normal level...or something to that effect). so, its good news because i dont have a blood illness of some sort. but it also means that my blood is normally abnormal when it comes to blood viscosity/density. a single stick of cigarette made me feel my blood pumping in my nape and various parts of my head (or thats just normal? i dont hear other people complaining about it. and no, its not the rush you feel. i know how that feels). its bad news if im some suicidal guy. the blood illness could have been a one-way ticket out of this miserable world. its a good blood illness too because it provides some sort of loophole on suicide (suicide is defined as intentionally killing oneself). this illness can be easily manipulated to induce death, thereby in effect, intentionally killing one's self. just clog your arteries or blood vessels and let the blood become more dense and the next thing you know youre having a heart attack or a stroke, then just drop dead on the ground. its not really suicide because the cause of death is the blood illness. and death by such illness isnt suicide. also, i dont think cigarette smoking has been categorized as suicide. so a God-fearing suicidal person would like to have an illness where death could be induced. and this blood illness is one of them. its intentionally killing oneself in a slow manner or over a period of time. i dont think God will buy that argument. the fact remains one did not take care or appreciate the gift of life. thats what makes suicide sinful right?
anyway, point is, i think my blood condition is better. my doctor still wants me to have occassional blood tests to monitor my blood viscosity just to make sure her diagnosis is correct. im tempted not to follow that instruction after the baguio trip since i think im doing ok. i dont even experience drowsiness as often as before. so, i might add it to my new year's resolution: be nice to doctors. im like the worst patient a doctor can have. i dont show up for check-ups and i dont listen. i disregard instructions. so i might post my new year's resolution to make it binding (or maybe for purposes of accountability)
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