Life is a blur

I havent blogged for quite some time. Why? as usual, i dont know. It just happened. I guess i was just so occupied with stuff that i never had time to sit and write something to blog about. Although there's a bunch of stuff i would have wanted to write about (like a possible future of sperm banks, a fearless forecast on 1/3 of the local population and my PC having a life synonymous to a whore), as i said, i guess i just didnt have the time for it.

Right now, im really trying (and i really mean that im REALLY trying) to take my law studies seriously. And thinking of what ive accomplished, its not good enough. its still way below the standards ive set for myself. Old habits do die hard. Or maybe they dont really die, they're just locked in a cage deep within one's mind and you convince yourself it never existed. so begins the never ending battle between improving yourself and becoming what comes naturally.

which is the bigger sin to your own being? To deny yourself of being who you are to become someone of greater intrinsic and extrinsic worth or to deny yourself of becoming a better person just to be at peace with one's innate being. Of course you can always strike a balance. Life isnt black and white after all, but only a few seem to operate within the gray areas (or intentionally operate within it). I mean, life is uncertain, so why live a life of certainty? My answer would be, to gain stability. But that wont escape the principle of striking a balance. So again, you are forced to recognize, adapt and operate in life's gray area. and lately, it seems that i got lost within that gray area. The only thing certain about life is its uncertainty. Cliche.

This is my first blog entry which i wrote in a pocket pc (which my cousin lent to me) and emailed to blogger (i can now appreciate wifi technology!). And i wrote it while waiting for something to finish