Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Fuck...

i dont know how many times ive said the word "fuck" today. certainly a hundred at least and im not fucking exaggerating. fuck. fuck is my word of the day for June...cant even fucking remember the date....for june 02, 2009. shit. yeah. i alternate shit and fuck but i say fuck 75% more often today. i usually say crap. but today is just fucking different. the gravity of the shit calls for the expression fuck and not crap.

if i have a travelling machine, im going to put my 2009 foot up my 2005 ass. fuck. why did my 2005 self had this stupid philosophy of "let future self worry about it". well, im future self and im fucking worrying about it now! damn you 2005 bum! shit. i mean, what the crap is the point of having a good sense of foresight when its coupled with a goddamn dumbass philosophy. i knew this will happen four years ago but my 2005 self had to say,"well, future self can handle it so im just going to be a lazy ass and sit all day". well, im having a hard time handling it 2005 piece of shit.

and why the hell is my method of teaching or making a point has to be me telling "i told you so" after doing shitty stuff at my expense? dumbass self! why cant i just make an illustration or patiently explain it? why do i have to actually do it? like, "the idea is absurd! i will prove it by actually doing it!" after going through the absurdity..."see, i told you so." fuck. now im in that absurd situation and saying "i told you so". i have made my point. and im right. now what!? time and effort lost just to make a stupid point. fuck.

2005 self, you are lucky you live in the past. now i have a choice whether to screw the life of 2012 self or save him the trouble by fixing the shit ive made now.

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