there's something wrong. or maybe there's something about to go wrong. this is what i was thinking a few hours ago: i felt a very strange feeling when i was about to start my afternoon jog. i cant describe it. but i tried. and the description i gave myself was, this might be the feeling of someone who's riding a plane and about to crash in the middle of the ocean. not the type of rush when someone rides a rollercoaster. its terrifying. yet, not necessarily hopeless. like a fear of an inevitable unknown. like i said, i cant really describe it. it took me a few more minutes to realize that ive felt this feeling before. thats when it struck me. i wrote about it in one of my blogs. the weird part about it is...i predicted i will get this feeling again this year. i didnt really say 2012 but i wrote the blog entry on latter part of february 2007 and i said that its a feeling im going to feel in five years. and as i was jogging a few hours ago, i counted what's five years from 2007 and with my basic math skills i found out its 2012. i said to myself "it cant be". although i did feel this weird feeling back in 2007, i remember that during that time, i was really "emotionally unstable". i couldnt remember what i really said in the 2007 blog entry but i knew about the five year period i stated. so i started wondering, what the hell does this feeling mean? why did i warn myself in 2007 about it? a big earthquake? i just dreamt earlier today about a tremor. nah, couldnt be. i remember the entry was talking about something personal. so a personal tragedy and not a calamity. could it be just a coincidence? well, if it is, its funny that when i got home to check the blog entry, the title of the entry was "turbulence". and i just tried to describe the feeling today as like being in a plane about to crash. and when i tried to describe it, i wasnt aware yet that its a feeling i felt before and wrote something about it. i didnt even remember the blog title until i checked it when i got home. well, i named it turbulence because of the emotional turbulence i was undergoing then. anyway, the feeling lingered much longer in 2007. now i managed to restrict the feeling to a little less than an hour. when i thought i need to get rid of the disturbing feeling, i put my earphones on, listened to snsd (starting with japanese gee) to distract me a little and started convincing myself there's no point in trying to figure it out because the most i can come up with is speculation. then when i was heading home when i finished jogging, a deja vu struck me then a mental image of a tornado and the word "moth". i think i know what the two refers to and if im correct with my deduction, it refers to something absolutely meaningless.
its been a weird late afternoon/early evening. to make things weirder, i have no idea how i injured my left hand. i woke up with my left hand, just right about the wrist, aching. there's no swelling but it feels like i just tried to karate chop a metal bar. i must have twisted it while i was sleeping last night. i was in a deep sleep too (which doesnt happen that frequently lately). although the feeling is gone (maybe temporarily), i still cant shake off the thought something's wrong.
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