im in the mood to be stubborn and hard to convince

i was supposed to have a court hearing today. but even before i put on my barong, i already read a tweet saying that the supreme court suspended work in metro manila courts. i was waiting for the announcement last night because i thought, even if it stopped raining, most likely, there are court personnel, clients and witnesses who might be in evacuation centers or badly hit by the "horrible" weather yesterday or wont be able to make it due to the flooded roads. the court hearings will be plagued by resettings. also, judges and lawyers are humans too with families of their own. the justice system in metro manila will have to adjust to the fortuitous event that occurred yesterday. but then again, the suspension might be for another purpose. im digressing.

despite the tweet stating that work in metro manila courts have been suspended, being the skeptic that i am, i tried to verify the truthfulness of the tweet by trying to trace its origin (like when i saw a photo of Girls' Generation's Sooyoung wearing a "I Heart Philippines" shirt. the photo really looked legit but i thought it had to be a fake. sure, she's been here in the Philippines so there is a possbility she bought a souvenir shirt but i dont think its something that she will wear as "airport fashion" and i dont recall any of them wearing souvenir shirts in the places theyve been to. in the end, it was really a fake photo). i couldnt trace the origin or the source of the information of the tweet so i had doubts whether its really true. irresponsible tweets plague twitter so i tried checking the supreme court website. no announcement. i checked twitter again, GMA news tweeted it. still, i doubted it since i want to see an article about it and not just a tweet saying according to so and so. checked Inquirer.net. theres an article saying that there is in fact a suspension but when i clicked the link, there's no article. crap. im not satisfied with just an article title, even if its from an online newspaper. just when i was about to wear my barong, i received a text message from our law office that the supreme court suspended work in the metro manila courts. still, im not 100% convinced. i wore my barong and went to the Hall of Justice, only to be told by the guard that the supreme court suspended work for today. only then did i text my client that we wont be having a hearing today.   

its better to be safe than sorry. in case the tweet wasnt true, it will be difficult to explain to the judge that the reason my client and i didnt attend today's hearing because i read a tweet saying that according to the supreme court spokesperson, the work in metro manila courts were suspended on 08 August 2012. the pretty judge in the court im supposed to be at would just say "really counsel? you expect me to accept such an explanation?"

damn it august! what are you up to?

unprecedented rain fell yesterday. while this is unfortunate for more or less thousands of citizens, probably even a million, this is, sadly, fortunate for me. i mean, fortunate in sense because i like rain. well, close to loving it actually. the cold weather yesterday was wonderful. not perfect to force me to use a blanket when i sleep, but enough to be wonderful. all i really want is cold weather.

last weekend, i taunted the heavens, as i was rushing home from a quick purchase at CDR King. since it didnt rain during the time i was outside, i looked up at the dark, cloudy, evening sky and said "rain, lets dance". 24 hours later, it was raining non-stop. as usual, i was inside my home.

the following day, i was supposed to go to the office despite the news of countless miserable citizens who fell victim to the merciless continouous rain. as i was about to put on my pants, i received a text message telling me that there's no work for the day due to bad weather. i still wanted to go outside since its the perfect weather for hot chocolate but laziness got to me and decided to just lay in bed, sleep and savor the cold weather. so i wasnt affected by the floods or got soaked in the torrential rain. i procrastinated for another day instead of finishing the pleading i need to finish before friday. i really didnt want to ruin the nice weather with work.

the day after, today, it was still raining when i woke up. but when i stepped outside, the rain turned into a light harmless drizzle. by the time i reached the office, it was barely raining and the sun was peeking through the clouds. the same thing happened when i went out for lunch. it didnt rain the whole time i was out for lunch. it rained again when i was back inside my office room.

at least when i was heading home, with my laptop in my bag, hanging on my left shoulder, holding a mcdonalds hot chocolate with my left hand and an umbrella on my right hand, i got soaked from the knee down because finally, my beloved rain got to me. my chucks squeaked as i walked and i could feel my soggy socks. sadly, i can hardly call it a dance. maybe another day.

i would say the circumstances remain favorable to me. august, youre acting weird. it appears my luck is still with me and i have not been reduced to a mere average mortal. its not making me paranoid. not yet. but now that i have written this, august would probably come at me with its teeth bared, wearing a malevolent grin.

occasional hodgepodge of the scrambled mind

i have a pleading due by monday which i need to finish before friday because i need to have it signed by around 24 clients on saturday. i dont want to ruin this nice night with work. i really should stop being lazy.

while listening to FOB, on this very rainy night, i was reminded of my YM picture back in 2010 (i checked my YM message archive to verify the time i used this YM picture since someone made a comment about it). i havent used YM for quite some time now and after going online for just a few seconds, seeing a few friends online, im still not in the mood to use it. maybe by the end of the year. i dunnow

anyway, i ended up listening to two FOB albums. i really like the way they give titles to their songs. reminds me of how i used to think of my email subjects. and to a certain extent, blog titles.

i wish its september 24 already. i want to watch a TV series.

a just read a tweet that said "happy people listen to music while sad people listen to the lyrics". i was listening to the music then i took notice of the lyrics. i guess that's when the YM picture entered the...picture.


**** *********
"Oh baby, you're a classic like a little black dress. You're a faded moon stuck on a little hot mess"

"I don't just want to be a footnote in someone else's happiness."

"I wanna scream, "I love you," from the top of my lungs but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me."

"So boycott love. Detox just to retox. And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life"

"We had a good run; even I have to admit. Life's just a pace-call on death. Only less diligent. Hell or Glory, I don't want anything in between"

"Blame everyone but me for this mess and my back has been breaking from this heavy heart. We never seemed so far. I'm hopelessly hopeful, that you're just hopeless enough. But we never had it at all"

**** ********* 

***** ********* ********
"It's just past eight, and I'm feeling young and reckless."

"You're just the girl all the boys want to dance with and I'm just the boy who's had too many chances
I don't blame you for being you but you can't blame me for hating it. So say, what are you waiting for? Kiss her, kiss her I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late. Write me off, give up on me, cause darling, what did you expect. I'm just off a lost cause, a long shot, don't even take this bet"

"Oh baby, when they made me, they broke the mold. Girls used to follow me around, then I got cold"

"You only hold me up like this. Cause you don't know who I really am. I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive. Now I only waste it dreaming of you"

"What makes you so special? I'm gonna leave you, I'm gonna teach you. How we're all alone"

"Am I more than you bargained for yet? I've been dyin' to tell you anything you want to hear 'Cause that's just who I am this week"

"Cause I'll keep singing this lie if you'll keep believing it"

"I must confess, I'm in love with my own sins."

"I keep my jealousy close, 'cause it's all mine. and if you say this makes you happy, then I'm not the only one lying."

"Keep quiet,nothing comes as easy as you. Can I lay in your bed all day? I'll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake."

"I keep telling myself I'm not the desperate type but you've got me looking in through blinds"

"I found the cure to growing older and you're the only place that feels like home. Just so you know, you'll never know and some secrets weren't meant to be told."

"I don't care what you think as long as it's about me. The best of us can find happiness in misery."

*************************

- lyrics from various songs from FOB's  From Under the Cork Tree and Folie à Deux albums

YM picture came from Green Day's 21st Century Breakdown album

its the most...worrisome time of the year

i should be on full alert for the next 25 days. so far, august has been bearable. just a little minor glitches here and there. what's been confusing me is that my rain repellant self is still active. whenever i go outside, the rain stops. when im safe indoors, the heavy rain suddenly pours.

for example, a few days ago, after visiting our grandmother in the hospital, my brother and i decided to stop by mcdonalds to get some twister fries. i joked that i didnt need an umbrella because it wont rain if im exposed to it. there's some considerable distance between our house and the nearest mcdonalds and its been raining for more than a week. true enough, it didnt rain until we got home. had the rain decided to drop five minutes earlier, i would have been soaking wet.

same thing happened last night. i was rushing to go to CD R King Eton Centris because it was near closing time. through out my commute, it didnt rain until i was indoors. thats why my umbrella was very much useless yesterday.

im not quite lucky today. i had to use the umbrella. but the strong rain didnt pour until i got home. normally, if august was feeling like its usual self, i would be soaking wet from the rain or some puddle due to a speeding vehicle.

although im still lucky with the weather, which makes it easy for me to enjoy the cold air, i was unlucky with the mcdonalds cashier. it really ruined the twister fries experience. mcdonalds crew Mae of Mcdonald's matalino charged me an additional P16 or something because she didnt hear my order correctly. instead of giving me the twister fries and float meal, she thought i just ordered twister fries. when i pointed out her mistake, she just added the coke floats instead of correcting the order. thats why my order ended up with an additional P16. normally i wouldnt mind the few extra pesos but i was also buying twister fries for my parents and my sister. she did the same thing to the other customers ahead me (i mean, she also got their orders wrong). i was tempted to email a complaint but i thought, she might be overworked or distracted. everyone needs a break. especially if its august.

am in a horror movie?

woke up this morning only to be told to check the circuit breaker because our dining room and my brother's bedroom had some short circuit earlier this morning. so i checked the fuse box, fiddled with the switches and poof! the electricity in our dining room and my brother's bedroom is back. but ever since then, ive been hearing some scratching/electric surge kind of noise (when i switched off the TV, when im near the kitchen sink, while i was passing by our office window). then i thought, "its august. anything that could wrong could possibly go wrong. i am stripped of my powers of luck."

well, last night, i was still lucky. i was asked to buy some cough medicine at a nearby drugstore. while i was heading home, the moment i stepped inside our garage, heavy rain suddenly poured. now, from our garage, there is still an open space before i reach our building. the rain stopped exactly when i was walking on that open space. the sudden heavy downpour continued the moment i stepped in the covered area of our building. this is something that usually happens to me and thats how i manage not getting wet even if i dont use an umbrella. the rain "magically" stops when im outside (not 100% of the time of course but maybe half of the time). i thought i still have some luck left. unfortunately, that might be the last one until it returns on september.

going back to the electric surge kind of noise, my laptop sort of went haywire earlier this morning too. the power indicator suddenly blinked. thats weird. its not supposed to blink unless the laptop is in sleep mode. i dont use  sleep mode. then the battery indicator suddenly went off. thats weirder since my laptop is plugged in. i checked the outlet and there's electricity. maybe the indicators are just acting up? then the laptop monitor went dim. it meant that its in power saving mode. again, it cant go to power saving mode since its plugged in and the power saving mode is disabled. i quickly switched the laptop off since it looks like its losing power even if its plugged in. when i used it again in the office, its working A-Ok again.

its raining, there's the howling wind and i ocassionally hear an electric surge/scratching noise when im alone. did i just go crazy? is this like a warning that i should be mindful of electricity? that a misfortune that's electricity related might happen? final destination freak accident kind of thing? i'll just listen to f(x)'s electric shock.

Wish I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't

just do it, nike said. so i did. when in doubt, just do it (when it should be dont). so i kept...just doing it. well, i ended finding myself in tricky and sticky situations. i gave myself "ghosts" that will continue to haunt me. i dug myself holes with depths that amazes me. all for the sake of beating the boredom? sometimes. sometimes i just roll the dice and couldnt care less where it takes me. im too old for this shit. im no longer young to set the world on fire and burn brighter than the sun.

there are moments when i wonder how the hell did i end up as a lawyer? well, a friend also asks that same question, sort of. he wonders how people could entrust their legal woes, and to a certain extent their lives, to a man such as he. as for me? the way i see it, i just kept picking up the shot glasses served before me, drinking it up and rolling the dice and the next thing i know, im done with law school, im done with the bar exams and now im a lawyer, inching towards my second year of law practice.

i dont mean i partied a lot when i said shot glasses. im a homebody. i meant, i just kept mindlessly doing things regardless of the consequences just because its seemed like a good idea at that moment. or just do reckless and immature things just to let the time pass by, not really mindful of the future, thinking im going to drop dead soon enough. well, im still alive and sort of kicking. im afraid i will have to face the reality that i might live beyond 30. that sucks. aside from getting old, its difficult to answer im thirty something when im asked about my age without feeling like a dinosaur. i already feel old when i hear the song Dangerous by Roxette because i remember listening to it when i was in grade school.

its hard to believe that i dont think of my future when im that guy who always has a plan. do i really look like a guy with a plan? sure i plan a lot. i think of the future a lot but my actions contradict those thoughts. i think i just plan to exercise them brain cells and to at least give me some comfort that im thinking about my future. but i rarely even go through with the plan. well, long term plans. its easy to comply with the short term ones that addresses the present situation. actually i plan a lot less now compared before. in the grand scheme of things...nah, the universe can just fuck off. just call me when you need me cosmic one. when you think there's the need to shake things a bit. ill be at the bar having a drink or in a restaurant savoring a meal or in a coffee shop sipping some tasty hot chocolate. sounds like a...not so bad plan. where at the end of the day, i just want to sit on a sturdy stool or comfy couch and let my mind wander aimlessly, not a care in the world, then sleep and then wake up in the morning and face a stress free work day. i just want a simple life. i wish i didnt. maybe i do. i dont know.

familiarity breeds contempt vs. stranger danger...isnt it just the same thing?

i just read my horoscope and it said i should know the person ive recently started to date very well before i get myself overly involved in the relationship. it said "VERY well". boom! wake up call in the form of a horoscope. i realized im already in too deep that i should wiggle my way out before i get too tangled in it. the pimple on my nose was already a warning sign.

if im no longer thinking straight, im treading dangerous waters and i could end up a victim of the game i thought i know how to play well. i dont even know how to play anything well. i just play and throw the dice and hope luck would save the day. since its august, holy crapshoot, im dead. i need...to get myself a hobby...maybe for just a month or two.

i think i'll just listen to another somewhat appropriate FOB song...

"I found the cure to growing older

And you're the only place that feels like home

Just so you know, you'll never know

And some secrets weren't meant to be told

But I found the cure to growing older

I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends

And I am sorry my conscience called in sick again

And I've got arrogance down to a science

Oh, and I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends

[Chorus: x2]

Douse yourself in cheap perfume it's

So fitting, so fitting of the way you are

You can't cover it up

Can't cover it up

Find a safe place, brace yourself, bite your lips

I'm sending your fingernails and empty bottles you've sipped

Back to your family cause I know you will be missed

So you can find a safe place, brace yourself

They call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone

But for what we've become, we just feel more alone

Always weigh what I've got against what I left

So progress report: I am missing you to death

[Chorus: x2]

Douse yourself in cheap perfume it's

So fitting, so fitting of the way you are

You can't cover it up

Can't cover it up

Someone old

No one new

Feeling borrowed

Always blue

Someone old

No one new

Feeling borrowed

Always blue

Someone old

No one new

Feeling borrowed

Always blue

Someone old

No one new

Always borrowed

Always you

I found a cure to growing older

I found a cure to growing older

[Chorus: x2]

Douse yourself in cheap perfume it's

So fitting, so fitting of the way you are

You can't cover it up

Can't cover it up"

Tiffany Hwang