how this blogging thing started...for me

This is a question i ask myself until now. Why do i blog? When i first heard of this (i think this was sometime in 2003), i didnt even find the idea of blogging interesting. i felt it was like a self-centered website with the purpose of self-promotion (but of course, i was wrong. but didnt blogs started out this way? and isnt it something for a self-absorbed person like me?).

Well, i started blogging more than a year ago. The reason? i felt i needed to write. Just write stuff. since i became a law student, it was more of just reading. and when it comes to writing, it isnt really the kind of writing college students do. The point is, i felt my writing skills would deteriorate. im not really much of a writer but since high school, ive really tried to improve my writing skills. and i wouldnt want all of that effort wasted just because im not required to write. so i thought, maybe i could do some blogging and just write. and hopefully, i could also improve the way i write. im not aiming to be a very good writer (although i dont mind, hehe). i just want to write effectively and communicate well in written form (since im so moody, its hard to catch me in the mood to communicate well in non-written form).

but then came the problem of what will i write about? ive got lots of ideas i would have wanted to write but i ended up with a blog that serves as an online diary. why? first, whenever im in the mood to write, im not in front of the PC. the moment im logged in, im not as enthusiastic or excited to write about the idea. there's really no motivation for me to write. im used to writing stuff when the deadline's near (but the best papers ive written in college are the ones i didnt cram). so just for the sake of writing something, i write entries that arent really for public consumption. i write it with the intended reader to be me. so, its like an online record of ideas or pieces of thoughts i want to remind myself someday, aside from the usual, "what happened to me today?". So my blog entries sometimes (or most times) are just like an online back-up of stuff in my head. so thats why i continued blogging. it serves that purpose. but of course, im still trying to change that, or add to it, the purpose of writing well-made blog articles that are meaningful, significant and makes a lot of sense. in short, blog entries that are really worth reading. im not saying that blog entries that are "self-centered" are worthless. they're fun to read and could provide bits and pieces of interesting information. it just so happens that im not contented with that and i want to write thought-provoking stuff. i want a blog that serves the purpose of improving my writing skills, keeping my mind sharp and updated with current events. i need to have this kind of blog badly because i think im suffering from some sort of mental retardation