infected by the "bobonic" plague and spreading it

thanks to mr. samonte, im hooked to this radio show (which i listen to everytime i have a chance). the name of the radio show is The Brewrats, 9pm-12midnight, on 99.5 Hit FM (formerly 99.5 RT). it airs from monday to thursday (Educational Monday, Bring-a-Guest Tuesday, Cultural Wednesday, and Sando Party Thursday).

my cousin told me about this radio show months earlier (september 29 to be exact) but i wasnt really that interested in checking it out because it was a radio show. that simple. i dont listen to FM. DJs annoy me. if i wanted to listen to music, im going to play some CDs or mp3s. what i didnt realize back then (or didnt sink in) was that she was talking about a radio show hosted by Angel Rivero, Ramon Bautista and Tado. these are the people from the extremely entertaining and groundbreaking show of UNTV, Strangebrew! if these are the DJs of the radio show, most likely, it will be a very unique radio program, like something youve never heard before and that it would be very funny. and true enough, it is. if not for mr samonte's text message telling me to check it out (he said strangebrew on radio, which for some reason made me interested, as opposed to just telling me that Angel, Ramon and Tado are DJs. why didnt i see the connection before!) i wouldnt have found out that the show was like a radio version of strangebrew (which a lot of people miss very much, including me). its so different and funny. ive never heard a radio show like it (or DJs that speak like Ramon and Tado. but then again, i dont listen to FM). and i listen to the show not for the music but just listen to DJs talk about nothing and everything at the same time (plus adult humor). and if they do play some music, the songs they play are usually nice (DJ Angel plays an anime soundtrack from Ranma 1/2 and they have a background music from IL Postino (The Postman), "Loved By Women" if i remember the title correctly).


DJs:
Angel Rivero (astig and pretty Erning of strangebrew, and sounds pretty and astig as a DJ)
Ramon Bautista (of the Ramon Bautista show from MTV (duh!), taong grasa: ang pinakamatalinong tao sa UP who likes Malaysian Holland Tulips, tubero, diwata, Dan Michael master magician)
Tado Jimenez (amo of Erning in strangebrew who became a "bigtime" personality after Strangebrew)

Guests (among others, hehe.the show started august last year. i listened just a few weeks ago):
Inday (she's as hot as her voice. kawaii)
Russian guy (Sergei Sukmeyov...not sure with the spelling)
Miki Hahn

famous brewsters:
Sto Nino guy (with a creepy laugh)
Illiterate guy (which made DJ Tado and Ramon call on the Senate to improve the state of education in our country)
Lamokpunk (born in stagnant water)
Dahlia (ang sabon ng mga artista)
erwin the emo
katuga guy
kikong matsing

Famous terms from the show:
pa-next (ex. how old is your sister? is she pa-next?)
stages of making out: MOMOL, MOMON, MOMOP, MOMOX (ex: inday, momol tayo)
value meal
110 volts, 220 volts, autovolt (ex. is he 110 volts or 220 volts? - is he a foreigner or a local? autovolt is mixed race)
people of the phils
papaya and marang
laslas convention
early-bird callers (ex. lets bang some early bird callers)
bang the phone (ex. you want me to bang you?)

Catchphrases/catchwords:
Wasak! (DJ Angel)
Tama! (DJ Angel)
Astig! (DJ Angel)
ne, kaluguran daka (DJ Tado)
yayayayaya (DJ Tado)
hands in their pockets/hands in your pocket (DJ Ramon)
are you an emo? (usually DJ Ramon)
you want me to bang you? (usually DJ Ramon)
once again once more (all of them/show tagline?)
ur radio is not defective, its just us (all of them/tagline?)

Radio Drama:
"Iputok Mo sa Labas!"
Carding - pinakamainit na starlet ng taon, ang maginoo ng Cainta...DJ Ramon
Neknek, ang babaeng patapon - binalot sa tabloid, binalot sa tsismis, ang maalindog...DJ Angel
Efren Reynes the Third, ang tanging tagapagmana ng Hacienda Santa Filomena at tatlong talyer sa QC - kandidato para sa bise consehal sa 2010...DJ Tado

Setting: bodega ng basura sa Maynila pero flashback sa province

Lines from the Radio Drama (not verbatim):

"mas mabuting mamatay na lang ako sa impeksyon kaysa sa mga putok ni Efren Reynes the third, tanging tagapagmana ng Hacienda Santa Filomena at tatlong talyer sa Quezon City"

"ang problema ko na lang ay ang sugat ko! naimpeksyon na yata dahil sa kaning baboy"

"wow, kay sarap po ng almusal natin! tatlong itlog, isang hotdog at maraming maraming yema! kayo po ba nagluto nito inay? (inay: hindi, nabili ko lang sa 7-11)"

"inay, matagal ko na po itong pinag-isipan. nais ko pong magsakripisyo para maabot ang aking mga pangarap. na abutin ang mga bituin at anihin ang bunga ng aking pagod. handa na po akong lumipad na parang lawin at ibuka ang aking mga pakpak. ipagaspas at salubungin ang daluyong tungo sa bagong liwanag. may harang mang sibat, kahit ano pong iharang sa akin. tapakan ko man ang mga bubog na darating. hindi po ako matitinag. handa po akong magsakripisyo inay. pangarap ko pong maging....ISKWATER"

"mahihirapan ka anak, grade 4 lang ang natapos mo at gusto mo maging squatter?"

"ngunit inay, hindi nyo naiintindihan! iba na po ang henerasyon namin ngayon. at naghanda po ako sa araw na to. matagal ko na po pinaghandaan. simula po mga apat na araw ang nakakalipas, pinag-isipan ko na po ito"

"di ko inuutusan ang aking paboritong si Carding. nagkakakalyo lang ang kamay nun sa paglalaro ng DotA. pero hindi ko yun inuutusan magpakain ng aming isang libo walongraan tatlongput-pitong pabo!"

"Magkano tiket? Pupunta po akong Maynila, para maging isang squatter. Wala po bang discount? Grade 4 po ako."

"ilalabas ko ang aking bagong-bagong Ipod Classic. 160 gigabytes. kulay gray. at punung-puno ng apat na kanta"

"pahawak naman nyan oh. sige na, hawak lang eh. di pa ko nakakahawak nyan eh. oh ayan oh, hahawakan ko na ah. neknek, nasa puno ng mangga naman tayo eh."

"bakit ganito tong pantalon ko, basang basa?"

"tatlong araw na kitang minamanmanan! tatlong araw ka ring naging hunghang!"

"hunghang carding! kung bus ticket ang iyong binili, ako, binili ko ang bus na ito!"

"salbahe ka efren reynes the third, salbahe ka!"

"dugo at pawis ang aking pinupunuhan sa pagnanakaw ng tarpauline sa edsa. nakakawalo ako bawat gabi"

"pinakain na kami, nagkapera pa ko! di ko lang alam kung bakit paggising ko, masakit na ang puwitan ko. marahil sa sobrang kalangisan, ay nakatulog akong nakahubad."

"isipin mo, kung talagang mahal ka ni Carding, sana sinama ka nya sa manila para dalawa kayong squatter dun. tapos doon, aanakan ka nya ng marami, para manlimos kayo sa EDSA"

"para malimutan mo problema mo, uminom tayo ng alak. para tayong dalawa magwasakan. doon tayo ilalim ng puno ng mangga. tatagay tayo dun. wawasakin kita, wawaskin mo ako"

"Efren, ano ang ginagawa mo! tama na! ayoko, ano ba?! Aaaah! bakit may parang malamig akong nararamdaman sa tuhod ko!? kamay mo na yata yan eh! Aaaah! alisin mo na! rapist! hinawakan mo ang tuhod ko! nawalan na akong puri! ginahasa ako ni Efren, hinawakan nya ang tuhod ko! mga kapitbahay tulungan nyo ako! hinipuan ako sa tuhod ni Efren Reynes the 3rd. wala na ako mukhang ihaharap sa barrio. nawalan na ako ng puri. isa na akong patapon! sasama na lang ako sa mga patapon na tulad ko, manila! here i come!"

"Carding: pano mo nalaman hanapin tong bahay ko? (Efren: ano ko ba? syempre, gi-noogle earth kita)"

"Carding, i found you! i looked all over squatterland to look for you but now youre here."

"Bakit Carding, you dont like it? its all casualties in my search for you but now i found you and thats all that matters"

"who you calling patapon?"

"unti-unti kitang sisirain Carding. pagagamitan kita ng droga! ipapakilala ko sya sa sugal, alak at babae. isasali ko sya sa fraternity! bwahahaha!"

"kung di ka magpapakita sa iyong pinagtataguan na bodegang 10 meters, papaslangin ko ang babaeng ito!"

"sinasabi ko na nga ba, iniibig mo ang babaeng patapon na si neknek"

"ito ang ulo ko! tingnan mong mabuti!"

"neknek takbo! ilag! tumbling neknek! tumumbling ka! ilag neknek!"

"Efren: itong sayo, uppercut! susuwagin kita! duduraan kta sa mukha! (Carding: sandali, walang ganyayan!)"

"Carding, parang may nakita akong bazooka sa basurahan!"

"iputok mo na! pero sa labas, wag sa loob! iputok mo na! game na please!"

"neknek, kahit patapon ka, haliparot, halipandas, syota ng bayan. kahit sabihin nilang kaladkarin ka, panext ng sambayanan, iniibig pa din kita. pakakaslaan kita. at aanakan kita ng marami para makapanlimos tayo sa EDSA. ngunit, pa-rehab muna tayo"