i havent played baseball since high school

i was starting to digress in my previous blog entry when i realized that the topic could be a separate blog entry...

what the crap happened to me...looking at myself now that im 25...oh well. life throws a lot of crazy curve balls and the most you can do is be prepared for each one. if you get hit by one of them crazy curve balls, you have no choice but to get back up. it might take some time or it might seem like that damn curve ball inflicted a goddamn unbearable pain, but the only way to deal with it is to get back up (and face those curve balls again that life will never stop throwing. damn you life! haha). i think its not a human tendency to keep facing life's curve balls but its what makes a person stay human or inherently a warm blooded human being. as edward elric said: "envy...youre envious of humans. were so much weaker than you homunculi but battered, confused, even when were beaten and about to collapse, even when we know its pointless, we always stand back up. and if we cant, our friends will lift us"

the idea of always getting back up, the knowledge of a mortal going against what appears to be inhuman conditions, facing the improbable and sometimes the impossible, appears to defy logic and reason, to willingly allow oneself be burned alive and face unimaginable pain for the sake of just moving forward and not giving up the never ending struggle to live and not merely survive. kinda reminds me of iggy pop's song title, lust for life. i think this is what makes some people more human than others. i miss saying i think. am i back to being i am? i hope so. or i hope so?