"when i look at you, it feels im reading a comic book"
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
the day after yesterday
i think im one of the few examinees who didnt "fully" rest the day after the last bar exam and started doing something similar to looking for work. i havent officially started looking for work but i did spend a portion of the day after thinking and planning on how to look for work.
i guess im a workaholic of sorts. its not that im addicted to work but im addicted to managing to keep myself busy. its not that i dont rest but i see myself as someone who never stops "moving." besides, i did go out with an old friend yesterday so i think that counts as a form of rest.
i think my mind was demanding rest during the last day of the exam. while answering the last subject for the bar exam, my left hand and my mind was so tired that i forgot how to spell "respectfully" for a few minutes. i wrote "restpectfully". i looked at the word for a few seconds and said "that word doesnt look right. it looks longer than the way it should." it took me a few more seconds to figure out that the letter "t" before "res" shouldnt be there. so i wondered, was it just a forgotten spelling or my mind is demanding me to rest already right after the exam.
anyway, i was told that im supposed to feel something the day after the bar exams, when some realization is supposed to sink in. i didnt feel it. i guess im too busy with stuff. or maybe because i rarely live in the present. earlier this day, i compiled all the bar review materials i used, arranged and organized them and stored them neatly in some part of my room (about 5-6 feet of reading materials). i also took out a few books (non-law books) im going to read while waiting to be employed again (sorry eyes if there wont be a break from reading, but at least this time, the youtube breaks would be longer). i was also able to update my resume and make a cover letter, had it printed and reproduced. so today was a very productive day.
"wow, she ran like Usain Bolt!" - Pudding;
"Pudding is melting" - Jelly
"5, 4, 3, 2, 1...Bungee!!!"
i guess im a workaholic of sorts. its not that im addicted to work but im addicted to managing to keep myself busy. its not that i dont rest but i see myself as someone who never stops "moving." besides, i did go out with an old friend yesterday so i think that counts as a form of rest.
i think my mind was demanding rest during the last day of the exam. while answering the last subject for the bar exam, my left hand and my mind was so tired that i forgot how to spell "respectfully" for a few minutes. i wrote "restpectfully". i looked at the word for a few seconds and said "that word doesnt look right. it looks longer than the way it should." it took me a few more seconds to figure out that the letter "t" before "res" shouldnt be there. so i wondered, was it just a forgotten spelling or my mind is demanding me to rest already right after the exam.
anyway, i was told that im supposed to feel something the day after the bar exams, when some realization is supposed to sink in. i didnt feel it. i guess im too busy with stuff. or maybe because i rarely live in the present. earlier this day, i compiled all the bar review materials i used, arranged and organized them and stored them neatly in some part of my room (about 5-6 feet of reading materials). i also took out a few books (non-law books) im going to read while waiting to be employed again (sorry eyes if there wont be a break from reading, but at least this time, the youtube breaks would be longer). i was also able to update my resume and make a cover letter, had it printed and reproduced. so today was a very productive day.
"wow, she ran like Usain Bolt!" - Pudding;
"Pudding is melting" - Jelly
"5, 4, 3, 2, 1...Bungee!!!"
Monday, September 27, 2010
and now we wait
done with the bar exams. its a relief but not quite. there's still the mental torture of waiting for the results. its a period where one can't freely move because much as we want to move on, we can't because our future really depends on whether we pass the exam or not. if we pass, well and good. if not, there's the question of taking it immediately again or postpone it. if postpone to take the exams again for another year, what to do in the interim? its the time lost that makes this burden heavy.
when professors say that one must be prepared in mind, body and spirit for the exams, they werent kidding. during the first few weeks of the review classes, some got sick. i didnt because i already enrolled in a review program last year (although i have coughing fits, thats really because of stress. i went to the doctor to check if im sick, she said there's nothing remarkable about my lungs after seeing the xray. and thats a better assessment compared to when i was still in OLA. my coughing fits were much worse and painful). i got sick then, when i was reviewing in Arellano. so this year, i already have an idea on how to review. i already know my pace and my limits.
during the course of review and as the exam month gets nearer, with stressed minds and weakened physical state for some, the preparation becomes a test of spirit. doubt starts to meddle and muddle things up. come exam month, things just become more difficult. panic, if its hasnt manifested itself, starts to make its appearance. so its stress, doubt and panic. it wont go away for most examinees. thats why one of our professors said the bar exams is 50% confidence. if you have that, youre half-way prepared. the other 50% is the knowledge, whether stock or non-stock (wow, corporation law related humor of some sort), to back that confidence up. well, i had the 50% confidence so all i had to do was back that up. what i failed to consider is that with every bar sunday, that confidence depletes and i dont have a way to replenish it (this is why i think its better not to take the bar exams like a hermit, the way i did, unless one can be sure to stay mentally strong for the four sundays). the mental fatigue becomes an annoying stumbling block. the exam is now a test of mental endurance. youre tired, youre drained but you have to study for most of the week and squeeze your brain every sunday.
and now, i will update my resume and try to make a cover letter. but before that...
when professors say that one must be prepared in mind, body and spirit for the exams, they werent kidding. during the first few weeks of the review classes, some got sick. i didnt because i already enrolled in a review program last year (although i have coughing fits, thats really because of stress. i went to the doctor to check if im sick, she said there's nothing remarkable about my lungs after seeing the xray. and thats a better assessment compared to when i was still in OLA. my coughing fits were much worse and painful). i got sick then, when i was reviewing in Arellano. so this year, i already have an idea on how to review. i already know my pace and my limits.
during the course of review and as the exam month gets nearer, with stressed minds and weakened physical state for some, the preparation becomes a test of spirit. doubt starts to meddle and muddle things up. come exam month, things just become more difficult. panic, if its hasnt manifested itself, starts to make its appearance. so its stress, doubt and panic. it wont go away for most examinees. thats why one of our professors said the bar exams is 50% confidence. if you have that, youre half-way prepared. the other 50% is the knowledge, whether stock or non-stock (wow, corporation law related humor of some sort), to back that confidence up. well, i had the 50% confidence so all i had to do was back that up. what i failed to consider is that with every bar sunday, that confidence depletes and i dont have a way to replenish it (this is why i think its better not to take the bar exams like a hermit, the way i did, unless one can be sure to stay mentally strong for the four sundays). the mental fatigue becomes an annoying stumbling block. the exam is now a test of mental endurance. youre tired, youre drained but you have to study for most of the week and squeeze your brain every sunday.
and now, i will update my resume and try to make a cover letter. but before that...
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
give a guy a videocam...
and this is what he will shoot. he didnt even show what the girls were watching. well, if they were watching guys perform on stage, the guy shooting this vid made the right choice to use the space in his videocam's memory card to capture this instead. im assuming the one who shot this vid is a guy. or a lesbian. in any case, im not complaining.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
can i go smell her first?
the season of exposed skin is over! gone are the sundresses! sundresses! i wanna see a pretty girl. dibs! - uncle barney
sixth season, 1st episode! woohooo!
hot and awesome robin scherbatsky! woohoo!
hot lesbian kiss! woohoo!
sixth season, 1st episode! woohooo!
hot and awesome robin scherbatsky! woohoo!
hot lesbian kiss! woohoo!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
another tiring tuesday
just less than a week and the 2010 bar exams will be all over. lost 10 pounds in the process (process means from when the bar review started). by next week, i will be looking for employment...and doing errands and stuff that piled up since april (like my email).
first episode of How I Met Your Mother today, sixth season. i havent discovered a new anime series im going to follow.
just a few more days. all i have to do is keep myself sane until then.
i know a former blockmate would love to see these:
first episode of How I Met Your Mother today, sixth season. i havent discovered a new anime series im going to follow.
just a few more days. all i have to do is keep myself sane until then.
i know a former blockmate would love to see these:
Friday, September 17, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
the world is simple
this show is...ummm...very informative? im running out of stuff to watch. sometimes i wonder why we try to fill our heads with knowledge and complicate things when the rest of the world lives simply. then i ask myself, is it because of some sense of obligation or duty to mankind or something to that effect? or is it because to some people, a simple world is not enough (just remembered shirley manson). contentment will not be achieved with mere simplicity even if shallowness can be a much more enjoyable state of being.
if my old friend would hear this he would tell me that my problem is rooted on my cursed thirst for omniscience, which people usually mistake for some kind of deepness in thought when its really just greed and God complex. i miss that bastard. maybe we should do a show called "nuisance per se and nuisance per accidens: abate us if you can."
if my old friend would hear this he would tell me that my problem is rooted on my cursed thirst for omniscience, which people usually mistake for some kind of deepness in thought when its really just greed and God complex. i miss that bastard. maybe we should do a show called "nuisance per se and nuisance per accidens: abate us if you can."
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
3D hotties but not much 3D boobies
dropped by Fully Booked the other day. i decided to watch Resident Evil: Afterlife in digital 3D and had some time to kill (about 2 hours. i was 5 minutes late for the 1pm screening) before the start of the movie so i roamed inside the mall a bit. i ended up going to Fully Booked (i also ended up in Toy Kingdom but there's nothing really worth sharing there except the toys are expensive!). i said to myself, ive been reading books and staying in the library for months and im still interested in going inside a bookstore?
anyway, i looked at some graphic novels (which made me groan because of the price) then went to history and politics section. then i realized that the selection of books we have are mostly western and eurocentric. then i tried to recall the assigned readings when i was still a political science student. i think there was only one author that was asian (excluding Filipino authors. i think there might be an indian author but im not really sure), japanese to be more specific, and i cant even remember his name. all i know is that he wrote something about the waves of democratization. so i started looking for books that were not written in english or tagalog. found a few (written in spanish). then it made me wonder how much we are missing by not being able to read and understand other asian and western languages. i remember someone told me that the Das Kapital is a good read in its original version (which made we wonder about other books of german philosophers). i think im missing a lot of information by knowing only two languages (not sure if other people have the same sentiment). law professors sometimes say that some laws that we have that originated from spanish laws and that we adopted arent direct and exact translations of the original. some stuff are lost in translation. then i said to myself, after having the realization that language limits the information i can gain, that im just being greedy again, by wanting more information than what i could possibly have now (and i dont even try to master the information within my grasp! well, i do have the "jack of all trades, master of none" tendency). i ended up saying to myself that im going to learn at least six foreign languages and two local languages (i agree that what's spoken in the regions outside NCR arent dialects but languages). i think that would be enough to last a lifetime (i think its more than enough to keep me busy until i die). i continued talking to myself in my head, saying that's crazy talk and that i just want to learn new languages so i can watch the korean, japanese, chinese, german and french channels on cable TV. again, greedy tendency.
i should be focusing on the bar exams right now and not thinking about stuff that i could do after. but then again, during last sunday, minutes before the exam, i was already planning how im going to study for this week (i think i did that to distract myself so i wont get nervous). i just cant stop myself from planning ahead. i never live in the present. right now im planning how im going to take this sunday's exam in case i wake up tomorrow with dengue. at least im prepared...for stuff other than the exam itself!
anyway, i looked at some graphic novels (which made me groan because of the price) then went to history and politics section. then i realized that the selection of books we have are mostly western and eurocentric. then i tried to recall the assigned readings when i was still a political science student. i think there was only one author that was asian (excluding Filipino authors. i think there might be an indian author but im not really sure), japanese to be more specific, and i cant even remember his name. all i know is that he wrote something about the waves of democratization. so i started looking for books that were not written in english or tagalog. found a few (written in spanish). then it made me wonder how much we are missing by not being able to read and understand other asian and western languages. i remember someone told me that the Das Kapital is a good read in its original version (which made we wonder about other books of german philosophers). i think im missing a lot of information by knowing only two languages (not sure if other people have the same sentiment). law professors sometimes say that some laws that we have that originated from spanish laws and that we adopted arent direct and exact translations of the original. some stuff are lost in translation. then i said to myself, after having the realization that language limits the information i can gain, that im just being greedy again, by wanting more information than what i could possibly have now (and i dont even try to master the information within my grasp! well, i do have the "jack of all trades, master of none" tendency). i ended up saying to myself that im going to learn at least six foreign languages and two local languages (i agree that what's spoken in the regions outside NCR arent dialects but languages). i think that would be enough to last a lifetime (i think its more than enough to keep me busy until i die). i continued talking to myself in my head, saying that's crazy talk and that i just want to learn new languages so i can watch the korean, japanese, chinese, german and french channels on cable TV. again, greedy tendency.
i should be focusing on the bar exams right now and not thinking about stuff that i could do after. but then again, during last sunday, minutes before the exam, i was already planning how im going to study for this week (i think i did that to distract myself so i wont get nervous). i just cant stop myself from planning ahead. i never live in the present. right now im planning how im going to take this sunday's exam in case i wake up tomorrow with dengue. at least im prepared...for stuff other than the exam itself!
Monday, September 13, 2010
half awake, reading the online news
im in favor of raising the MRT/LRT fare. i know its "anti-poor" but i think its time for the government to start thinking of other ways of improving mass transport aside from mere subsidy. abandon the "no wang wang" gimmick. it sends a message "lets all suffer traffic jams together." the government should think of ways of decongesting these roads and improving mass transport with alternative, efficient and affordable means. the railway transits are safe, efficient and affordable but its not convenient. some would say, minimum wage earners dont mind it. not because they dont mind the inconvenience doesnt mean it should stay that way. just rode it yesterday and i had three bags with me including a laptop. i had to wait for half an hour (for each railway transit) to get a train where i could fit. i cant afford a taxi, a jeepney is more inconvenient and a bus is not accessible from where i came from. i was too drained because of the bar exam and the lightway transits are the best mass transport i can avail of and its the best the government can offer. i usually dont mind the inconvenience but its been like this for so long and no signs of improvement. i hate it when things that should change never changes.
right now i cant think of any idea to solve this mass transport problem (maybe on my next railway transit commute i will invest some brain power to try to think of solutions). the fare hike is oppressive but i dont think its unreasonable. but the fact that its oppressive is good enough reason not to raise it. but if you dont raise the fares, things wont improve because the government wouldnt do anything else but keep on subsidizing it.
nowadays, going from point A to point B, whether by way of mass transport or private vehicle are both inconvenient. for private vehicles, there's limited parking and gas prices. we have too many vehicles on the road, public and private. we have too many people too. were overpopulated. so the problem is overpopulation? not necessarily. if everybody had a consideration and responsibility gland, our problems wouldnt be this bad. unfortunately, there's no such thing. everyone lives in the present, fails to consider the future and rarely learns from the past.
right now i cant think of any idea to solve this mass transport problem (maybe on my next railway transit commute i will invest some brain power to try to think of solutions). the fare hike is oppressive but i dont think its unreasonable. but the fact that its oppressive is good enough reason not to raise it. but if you dont raise the fares, things wont improve because the government wouldnt do anything else but keep on subsidizing it.
nowadays, going from point A to point B, whether by way of mass transport or private vehicle are both inconvenient. for private vehicles, there's limited parking and gas prices. we have too many vehicles on the road, public and private. we have too many people too. were overpopulated. so the problem is overpopulation? not necessarily. if everybody had a consideration and responsibility gland, our problems wouldnt be this bad. unfortunately, there's no such thing. everyone lives in the present, fails to consider the future and rarely learns from the past.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
what the?
where's the imax version of Resident Evil: Afterlife? i dropped by SM North a while ago to check the movie schedule of Resident Evil: Afterlife and its not showing in their IMAX theater! they're showing Avatar instead. why the crap are they showing Avatar!?! i dont want Resident Evil:Afterlife in Digital 3D, i want to watch it in an IMAX theater!!! the movies scheduled in IMAX MOA are also a bunch of crap.
i was actually looking forward to mid-September because i thought i could go see Resident Evil in IMAX 3D. what am i supposed to look forward to now? Youtube has now become a habit so i cant really say there's something to look forward there. it has become as common as eating rice. well, there's the new season of How I Met Your Mother but i think thats due by the end of September. i will just probably go eat in a nice restaurant tomorrow and get me some good food. then i hit the books.
i was actually looking forward to mid-September because i thought i could go see Resident Evil in IMAX 3D. what am i supposed to look forward to now? Youtube has now become a habit so i cant really say there's something to look forward there. it has become as common as eating rice. well, there's the new season of How I Met Your Mother but i think thats due by the end of September. i will just probably go eat in a nice restaurant tomorrow and get me some good food. then i hit the books.
note to tangible self
dear left hand,
please bear with me. just two more sundays and all of this pain will soon go away. well, not really 2 sundays but two more weeks. im sorry but i cant allow you to go back to non-writing mode just yet. even a few days of non-writing mode, you quickly revert back to your "worst handwriting ever" mode (i cant even understand it sometimes. thats how bad it is). all i ask is two more weeks. i hope you dont sustain some kind of injury like one of kobe bryant's fingers. the doctor said that kobe's finger might have sustained some irreparable injury since he forced it too much. i know youre in pain right now for one full week already. just hang in there a little longer. after these two weeks, you can go back to being idle again with regard to writing. just dont "break" to the point that i will have to use stamps to sign my signature.
as for you right wrist, i hope youre not suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome. i always try to do some stretching exercises from time to time. i dont want surgery to fix you. having a horizontal scar on you doesnt really look nice. although its a good conversation starter.
as for my gums, thank you for suppressing another gum boil. the week before the bar exams started, you caused a bit of a problem by allowing a gum boil to happen that caused my right cheek to swell. its hard to concentrate in pre-week bar lectures with a swollen cheek. thank you for not allowing it to happen this week (although you swelled a bit a few days ago). having pus squirt out of you is really gross. really, really gross. i cant have that while taking the exam. so please, just two more weeks.
my feet, sorry if ive neglected you these past couple of months. please dont fall off (if thats even possible). i know both of you are filled with rashes right now but please understand, im busy and both of you are really far away. im too lazy to bend to keep on checking if the two of you are still doing ok. well, i know youre not ok but once these exams are over, i will have both of you checked. i will find a pretty dermatologist just for the two of you. i looked for a pretty dentist for my teeth, didnt i?
lungs, hang in there. at least youre just giving me coughing fits that arent painful. i will never smoke again. well, right now, im sure of it. but then again, the bronchial lesions and scars that you have werent caused by smoking right?
to my eyes, my very beautiful eyes, you can endure this. i always make sure that the two of you get enough rest. so bear these two more weeks of reading.
lastly, brain, so far so good. you never get tired easily and you always find ways to keep my sanity by allowing me to go insane for brief moments such as this. tomorrow, we hit the books again. i know youre getting used to this kind of exertion and youre liking it. just dont like it too much or im going to get too bored. you know how crazy i get when im too bored.
please bear with me. just two more sundays and all of this pain will soon go away. well, not really 2 sundays but two more weeks. im sorry but i cant allow you to go back to non-writing mode just yet. even a few days of non-writing mode, you quickly revert back to your "worst handwriting ever" mode (i cant even understand it sometimes. thats how bad it is). all i ask is two more weeks. i hope you dont sustain some kind of injury like one of kobe bryant's fingers. the doctor said that kobe's finger might have sustained some irreparable injury since he forced it too much. i know youre in pain right now for one full week already. just hang in there a little longer. after these two weeks, you can go back to being idle again with regard to writing. just dont "break" to the point that i will have to use stamps to sign my signature.
as for you right wrist, i hope youre not suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome. i always try to do some stretching exercises from time to time. i dont want surgery to fix you. having a horizontal scar on you doesnt really look nice. although its a good conversation starter.
as for my gums, thank you for suppressing another gum boil. the week before the bar exams started, you caused a bit of a problem by allowing a gum boil to happen that caused my right cheek to swell. its hard to concentrate in pre-week bar lectures with a swollen cheek. thank you for not allowing it to happen this week (although you swelled a bit a few days ago). having pus squirt out of you is really gross. really, really gross. i cant have that while taking the exam. so please, just two more weeks.
my feet, sorry if ive neglected you these past couple of months. please dont fall off (if thats even possible). i know both of you are filled with rashes right now but please understand, im busy and both of you are really far away. im too lazy to bend to keep on checking if the two of you are still doing ok. well, i know youre not ok but once these exams are over, i will have both of you checked. i will find a pretty dermatologist just for the two of you. i looked for a pretty dentist for my teeth, didnt i?
lungs, hang in there. at least youre just giving me coughing fits that arent painful. i will never smoke again. well, right now, im sure of it. but then again, the bronchial lesions and scars that you have werent caused by smoking right?
to my eyes, my very beautiful eyes, you can endure this. i always make sure that the two of you get enough rest. so bear these two more weeks of reading.
lastly, brain, so far so good. you never get tired easily and you always find ways to keep my sanity by allowing me to go insane for brief moments such as this. tomorrow, we hit the books again. i know youre getting used to this kind of exertion and youre liking it. just dont like it too much or im going to get too bored. you know how crazy i get when im too bored.
Sunday, September 05, 2010
im tired, im sleepy, i have a class tomorrow
three more weeks to go. take it one day at a time. wouldnt it be nice to have a magic lamp?
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