sweet potato maknae

nowhere man's somewhere plans

doing some math. trying to figure out how to efficiently save money so i can get me self a samsung galaxy tab as soon as possible. im dropping kindle off my list and im postponing the digicam until next year (im no longer interested in getting a PSP since playstation already released PS Vita and i will have to wait for a few months to see if its worth buying based from online reviews and feedback). right now, im going to aim for a nice tablet.

im also taking into consideration in my computation possible medical expenses. since ive been having some kind of discomfort that could be symptoms of something really serious and might need some surgery (i always try to consider all the possibilities with high probabilities). with the worst case scenario accounted for, i think i would have the "extra" money to "safely" buy a galaxy tab by...september of this year. i will have to postpone buying it until i have enough money for a worse case scenario. in case the worse case scenario happens, no galaxy tab for me of course (the surgery needed, in case the discomfort im feeling is really serious symptoms of something, is that expensive that my current "emergency savings" will have to be augmented with savings for the next months since my "emergency savings" doesnt cover serious surgeries that would require months of recovery). but if the worst case scenario doesnt happen, i can buy the tablet without worries and hopefully in a lower price thus having some money to buy its accessories.

also, i will have time to think about whether i really need the galaxy tab. right now i think i do. and i think its also a "nice treat" in lieu of a nice vacation. i havent been on a "real" vacation for years. since 2009, ive been focused on the bar review and started working too. when i graduated from law school, i wrapped things up when my contract from my previous employer expired and then continued reviewing for the bar. when the bar exams ended, after a week, im employed again. not that i didnt have any opportunity to take a nice out of town trip...wait...actually, i didnt have any opportunity. well, i guess gadgets will have to do. besides, the vacations i have in mind will need some serious budget. thats why i dont have any vacations planned until the next few years. i could opt for a lower budget vacation but that would need some good company in order for it to be worth taking. but good company is hard to find these days and...well, thats it. now that i think about it, i really ended up as the person i predicted i will be when i was still in high school. that at this point in time, im going to be alone. not that i wanted to be alone or i have problems with people but thats just how things are. it just happened but somehow i knew that this will happen. i knew that im going to be that guy who has friends but stayed to be simply...that guy. that guy that can be relied on for some things, that guy that has the knack for some things, that guy who stares at a women's cleavage at malls because he thinks boobs have some magnetic effect on guys' eyes that is impossible to resist. just that guy who manages to get by.

anyway, the internal clamor for me to start exercising is starting to grow stronger. my body is trying to convince me that exercise would be a last ditch effort to avoid aggravating my physical health. i guess my body has its own sense of foresight thats why it managed to make me switch to a healthier diet. with Mcdonald's Matalino closed for good (i think its closed for good), i wont be having that weekly quarter pounders anymore. and im starting to not like meat. not that i dont like meat, i just dont crave it as much as before. and my desire to eat for veggies also increased. i guess im about to become a health nut if this voice in my head finally convinces me to exercise even with no athletic hottie's external influence.

just let it rain

easy for me to say now that im indoors. but the rain did catch me earlier today when i went to a court hearing in Mandaluyong. here's the thing when my regular luck is with me: it rains hard when im indoors. whenever im outdoors, either the rain stops for a while or its just light rain. or whenever its about to rain hard, im just a stone's throw away from my destination. that's why i have nothing against the rain. if i do get stranded because of the rain, usually, im not in a rush so i dont mind. rarely does the rain spoil my day. usually its the August rain that i dont like.

at least the coffee tastes really great. almost worth it.

today, i bought a starbucks coffee with much unwillingness. normally, i would buy a regular brewed coffee from Mcdonalds Matalino but for some undisclosed reason (undisclosed to me), the said Mcdonalds branch is closed indefinitely. my next alternative would be Burger King's BK Joe. But given the rainy weather, i dont feel like travelling some considerable distance because the cold weather is aggravating my lower back pain. its been days now since this lower back pain started. anyway, i need some coffee because despite the long weekend, i have lots of work to do. since im going to be working at home, coffee is a must because whenever i work inside my room, the usual scenario is i end up sleeping instead. this is why i always work at Burger King or some other noisy fast food restaurant where i can plug my laptop with its useless battery (almost useless. it has enough juice to enable me to shut off the laptop properly whenever there is a blackout). i can still work despite the noise because i think there's something wrong with my ears. when im in an open space, i noticed that the sound volume is the same regardless of distance. so a person talking from far away has the same volume as a person talking near me. that's why i easily get disoriented when a lot of people are talking at the same time in a big room because the sound coming from all the talking people appear to be of the same volume. sometimes i cant even determine which one is talking because the voice of the farther person has the same sound level as the person talking near me. i guess this is also the reason i easily get distracted in public places because i always pick up the sound coming from my surrounding area.

going back, i dont have anything against starbucks. i just dont really want to buy expensive coffee. and starbucks always reminds me of my freshman college mentality (my marxist phase). due to this, i always try not to go to starbucks as much as i can. it makes me feel really uncomfortable (so uncomfortable that i want to get out of the place quickly after i get my order. but i pretend im not in a hurry to leave). but then again, after i got my coffee, i felt like a hypocrite. saying to myself that i used to despise a place that primarily caters to well-off people (or people who can afford to buy a cup of coffee that can feed a family of three, maybe even more) when i have with me an Ateneo umbrella and listening to my mp3 player with a pair of Sennheiser earphones (an expensive school and an expensive brand). and i was seriously considering buying one of their expensive thermal mugs (again, an expensive product). it made me think that maybe deep inside i like starbucks because it wouldnt be the first time that im very critical of something i really like.

anyway, the rainy weather is nice and there's a long weekend too but i cant enjoy it as much because of the work i must do.

it tastes bad so it must be good for one's health

for a person who doesnt mind dying or wont prevent death from visiting me, i sure have a weird way of showing it. i think its been a month since i started my veggie lunch diet. i only eat veggies and rice for lunch. and before this veggie lunch thingie, i already started adding healthy food to my diet (i regularly consume sweet potatoes, sweetened soy bean curd, milk, fruits, etc. if im eating in a fast food restaurant and they have a salad, i add the salad to my order just to have some veggies im my meal). i also try to minimize the meat i eat (but i still eat mcdonald's quarter pounder meal every week. i really cant quit it). now, i dont want to grow old because i dont want to live a long life but with what im doing, im actually extending on what could be a short existence on this planet.

this healthy food thing im doing began when i started feeling some physical pain (and the reason for the "only veggies for lunch" thingie was due to my stomach getting upset whenever i consume a certain type of meat. it started with an experiment whether it was the meat and based from my experiment, it was the meat and my stomach really didnt like it). due to the discomfort, i decided to become a bit health conscious. now, the healthy food diet did help. its like discovering the obvious. i guess this is the 2nd obvious thing ive confirmed. the other one was the joke i shared with a friend where one can get good grades through studying. we confirmed it was true when we were about to finish law school. anyway, healthy food is indeed good for you. but it seems thats not enough. right now, my f*ckin lower back hurts. its been hurting all day and i dont know why. my brain is suggesting exercise. really? isnt regularly consuming healthy food enough? im adding years to my life already, i dont want to extend it to a decade. crap. if i give in to the suggestion of my brain, im changing the course of my life and my cause of death. that is, if my brain can successfully convince me to exercise. right now, my idea for solving my back problem is to buy a comfy chair. its expensive but much more convenient than exercise. the only way im going to actually exercise regularly is if a young or middle-aged woman who can be aptly described as an athletic hottie gives me a very good reason to do it. not even a doctor can convince me to exercise even if my life depended on it. unless the doctor is some incredibly attractive female doctor...then....i would still say no but i might be open to some convincing if she has enough valid reasons. point is...i dont want to exercise. the physical discomfort brought by growing old is really annoying.

i guess this is too much to ask...for now.

i wish there's a virtual copy of Philippine malls. take for example the mall in North EDSA. i wish there is an online version of it where i can browse its stores with the use of my computer. i can roam inside it, navigate each and every store and check their products with the use of an internet browser and a computer mouse. not that im too lazy to go to the mall. its just im too busy to use up my time walking around inside the mall only to end up finding out that the product im looking for is not available or they dont have anything i like. calling the store itself is a convenient alternative but im more of a visual person and i prefer to see things rather than hear about it. and i can only use such option if i know what im looking for. it wont apply if i just want to window shop first. so i want a technology where i can window shop in a particular mall online and i want that technology applied in this country or at least in Metro Manila. aside from virtual window shopping, it could help save time because when i actually go to the mall, i already know where to go and i already know what to buy. the only problem that i will have to deal with is the travel time that i will consume by actually going to the mall.

a much simpler alternative is for the stores and stalls inside the mall to put up websites where they will post and update their list of items available. but i still prefer having a virtual mall instead of just a website. 

im the type of buyer that can be very picky or very impulsive. sometimes i know what i want to buy but im too specific about it so even if there's a wide range of choices, i end up not buying anything because none of the products are good enough. sometimes i dont even have a plan to buy anything but when i see something that for some strange reason i must buy it at that very moment (even if not necessary) and i know i can afford it, i just buy it. i just happen to be in the mood to buy it. in both instances, i need to roam around the mall. and roaming consumes time. and time is something i dont have. well, i do have time now. but mall hours prevent me from using my free time to roam inside the mall and browse for items i need or want to buy.

i sound like a shopaholic but im not. i just miss roaming inside the mall. it used to be some sort of stress reliever. im a mallrat since highschool. i like dropping by the mall and do some window shopping. now, i cant do that anymore. well, not as frequent as before. i just dont have the time.

life really doesnt want me to easily get by

just when i thought things cant get any worse for the case im handling...


i inherited a case from a lawyer (not connected with our law office) who for health reasons cannot continue handling the case. since our law office lacks enough lawyers (there's only two of us), the case was assigned to me. now this is a case that requires some expertise in a particular field of law and some form of specialization since its not the same as regular court proceedings. and since i merely inherited it, im bound by the initial actions of the previous handling lawyer, so my theories are already limited as well as my pieces of evidence. actually, i have to adopt the theory and pieces of evidence and figure out how to make use of it.

last week, i had to change my theory and strategy because of some facts that i uncovered. not that they were contrary to what ive been told but it somehow affects the flow of the case theory because the facts were material enough that it cant be ignored. now this weekend, ive been informed that my key witness wont be available as scheduled because she had to undergo an emergency operation. of course i understand its no one's fault and i will pray for the success of her operation and speedy recovery. its just that, why does it have to happen now? time is of the essence. she's my last witness and scheduled to testify on monday. so life, i ask you...seriously? a friend would comment that the reason this is happening is because im the one handling it. life just loves giving me challenges. here is a case that requires specialization and expertise and not normally assigned to someone who just passed the bar exams. and now i have to deal with the unavailability of a key witness? i mean, i could dispense with any of my witnesses except this one. why does it have to be her? and why now? just a few days away from her scheduled trial date. actually, she was supposed to be presented earlier but due to circumstances that arose during the course of the trial, i had to move her schedule and be the last one to be presented. its like life really likes meddling with my plans and maneuvered things to make it not as simple as it should be.

i heard a rumour

just found out that there is a rumor that a female classmate visits me at my office and people think she's my girlfriend. problem is...no one has ever visited me at my office. absolutely no one. every single person that comes to me in my office are clients. no female classmate of mine knows exactly where my office is. actually, no female friend or acquaintance has ever visited me in my office. so i have no idea how that rumor came about. and im pretty sure that i would know if i have a female client that's almost the same age as me to be mistaken as a classmate. i have no such client. all my clients are way older than me. and im rarely seen with anyone inside the office. i just sit in my office room and work (or sleep). so again, i really cant see how rumors like that emerge (like the rumor four years ago while i was still in law school that i have a lawyer girlfriend).

the reason such rumors affect me is because i really would like to know the basis. if there is no basis, i would like to meet this girl they're talking about. 

still no improvement

if i were to look back at this point in time of my life, i would say...im being annoyingly laid back. while everyone else is making progress with their lives, im just trying to do things one day at a time with no worries (or i try not to worry). sure i have plans and ive thought about my future but right now, those plans just give an illusion im heading somewhere. im not really executing it. the plan is just there for me to follow but im not really using it as efficiently and effectively as i should. its like looking at a map without really reading it. i guess its a crammer's curse. i need time to start running out before i start to really move or act. and i need a couple of things going wrong before my brain starts to warm up and be useful. i guess im that type of creature that evolves abruptly due to extreme conditions. until that extreme condition manifest itself, i wont evolve into anything.

im not happy with the way im living right now. im starting to become impatient and annoyed with the way im handling things. its frustrating to know that i can do much more yet i dont do it simply because i dont see the need for it. i dont want to burden myself with stuff. as long as im accomplishing things, there's no reason to aim higher. i dont complicate my life unnecessarily. this sounds good actually because i avoid a stressful life but sometimes a stressful life is worth having to improve one's self. im at this age where i can accomplish a lot of things. im squandering opportunities by being laid back. i wont be able to do as much once i get older or if i start having some serious illness.

im tempted to start smoking again just to shake things a bit. there's just something about the way a stick of cigarette affects my mood and thought process. its like it clogs certain portions of my brain and allows something else to emerge. or its simply the nicotine. crap. if not for the pain it brings to my lungs, i wouldnt have quit. stupid lungs.