getting stranger by the minute

although i check my facebook account from time to time (got addicted to reblogging stuff on tumblr and i check the latest news on twitter), only now did i realize that i havent been really checking it for months (i stopped playing games on it by late April because of the PS3 and it started to get boring from there). usually, i just log in, check for messages or requests, then log out (like checking an email and looking for urgent stuff). when i logged in just a few minutes ago and checked my notifications, i noticed some kind of notification of a new message from a group account. i checked it and thats when i saw convos from weeks and months ago and how much of a stranger ive become. havent used YM for months too. maybe for more than a year already. i dont even remember when i stopped using YM. the last i remember was up to mid-2009. i always have my cellphone with me. within arms reach 24/7 but 95% of the time, it rings because of some work-related matter (just like a few hours ago).

even if im usually online, have a facebook account and other social networking stuff, im pretty much an island. wow. im still an island.

actually, i know that already but giving it some thought really makes the realization...real. i dont even know what im saying. but what im trying to say is...im an atom. im an atomized individual. im not even part of a molecule. im simply an atom. an atom inside a cubicle. im an atom inside a cubicle with a computer thats connected to the outside world but im not really connected to the outside world in a sense that im part of a molecule. im just an atom with a gizmo thats can connect me to the outside world but the outside world doesnt really connect to me thus ensuring that i stay as an atom and not a molecule. its being enabled to look at the outside from the inside but the outside aint looking in.

i need to get me some fresh air. and a social life. but first some fresh air. im not even sure if i can still have a social life since the world is starting to get strange. well, im becoming strange to the world. or im starting to become an awkward atom. i miss this kind of "somewhat nonsensical" stuff or "it makes sense but its really presented in a very weird manner" kind of stuff.  and im not even drunk or taking drugs.