im just having a nagging thought of finding myself. to be more accurate, making sure that not one part of me gets left behind as i move forward. i think im undergoing some progress and i dont have much doubts about the direction im heading. its just that i dont want to lose my "essence" in the process, or bits and pieces of me which are scattered and compartmentalized within me (which always made it difficult for me to pull myself together).
after more than a decade, im finally taking the concrete steps i need to do to improve myself and become a better person (and after years of planning, im finally in the execution stage). ive known about this all along but i refused to recognize, acknowledge and act on it. why? its simply inconvenient to my lazy and stubborn state of mind. now that im making some progress, i just want to make sure that i move as a whole and not just as parts of me. and in order to make myself whole, i need to find myself. its not merely getting to know myself better (i know myself a lot already) but incorporating every aspect of myself into one cohesive unit. its not only about knowing my limitations and capabilities but establishing a much better harmony within me. its like finding some inner peace but not quite.
this nagging thought of finding myself started when i stumbled upon an old piece of information which reminded me of a self that i liked a lot. if im going to move forward, i dont want this self or this part of me to be left behind.
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