i just bought me self a new pair of earphones (Philips SHQ4000). ive been checking it for over a year (when my brother saw i finally i bought it, he said it took me a year to buy it). not that its that expensive but...well it is expensive. the most expensive pair ive bought. but compared to the earphones i really wanted, it would be considered cheap.
the reason i bought it is because its sweat proof, claims to be waterproof and convenient to use when exercising. i also like the design (except the color). i prefer the in-ear, neckband design over earbuds with clips. after using it for almost a week, its really comfortable and lightweight. i like the way it fits on my ears. after prolonged use, i hardly notice im wearing it. i tried putting it under running tap water once and it still worked but im still not that convinced its water proof.
the reason it took me a year to buy it is because i wasnt sure if i can use it as incentive or motivation to exercise. now that ive decided to jog frequently (this remains to be seen), i thought its about time to get them earphones. also the price already dropped (since its been available for quite some time now. i think Philips recently released its next batch of sports earphones, ones with volume control). the price drop wasnt much but its still enough to save a few hundred pesos.
as for the sound quality, well, its Philips. its not as good (or as loud) as my ordinary earphones but for exercising purposes, and noise-cancelling ability, the sound quality isnt bad.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
a necessary evil device
got my alarm clock back! well, not that it was lost or anything but it just so happens to be sitting idly on top of a messy desk filled with dust for almost a decade without a battery. i dont know what took me so long to buy a new battery for it. it just needs a single double A battery but for some reason, i didnt buy it one. so it was just there, waiting patiently to be used again.
the thing i like with this alarm clock is that it can wake me up in seconds (unlike the cellphone alarm where there are times that i dont wake up at all because i fail to hear it). the weird thing about the cellphone alarm is that it can condition me to wake up seconds before it alarms. if i set it at 6am, i wake up for two to three consecutive days at 5:59am. so all i had to do is wait for the alarm to go off then hit the snooze or stop button, depending on my mood.
there's no snooze button in my high school alarm clock (yep, ive had it since high school and stopped using it during college simply because its battery ran out of juice. also, i really dont need an alarm clock during college) and i cant reset it as easily as a cellphone alarm since it cant be set accurately in minutes. if i can reset the cellphone alarm to sound off again in half an hour or fifteen minutes later, i can only reset the alarm clock one hour later. limited options makes the alarm clock somewhat better since i would be forced to just wake up because one hour later would be too late. but then again, given my dislike for waking up early in the morning, i just used my alarm clock as a supplement to my cellphone alarm (or the other way around). its the first one that will go off, followed by my cellphones minutes later. at least this time, the alarm clock guarantees to wake me up at a particular time.
the thing i like with this alarm clock is that it can wake me up in seconds (unlike the cellphone alarm where there are times that i dont wake up at all because i fail to hear it). the weird thing about the cellphone alarm is that it can condition me to wake up seconds before it alarms. if i set it at 6am, i wake up for two to three consecutive days at 5:59am. so all i had to do is wait for the alarm to go off then hit the snooze or stop button, depending on my mood.
there's no snooze button in my high school alarm clock (yep, ive had it since high school and stopped using it during college simply because its battery ran out of juice. also, i really dont need an alarm clock during college) and i cant reset it as easily as a cellphone alarm since it cant be set accurately in minutes. if i can reset the cellphone alarm to sound off again in half an hour or fifteen minutes later, i can only reset the alarm clock one hour later. limited options makes the alarm clock somewhat better since i would be forced to just wake up because one hour later would be too late. but then again, given my dislike for waking up early in the morning, i just used my alarm clock as a supplement to my cellphone alarm (or the other way around). its the first one that will go off, followed by my cellphones minutes later. at least this time, the alarm clock guarantees to wake me up at a particular time.
its like part of my body
got my laptop back! well, got it more than two weeks ago. after four years of using it (my sister used it by bringing it to her office in 2007, i used it from time to time in 2008 and then used it daily since 2009 until the time it broke on the third week of october of this year), its hinges broke due to wear and tear. actually one of its hinges already broke as early as 2009, while i was staying in a nice little studio apartment in the Taft Avenue area. so its been operating with one hinge since 2009 and it just broke down two years later.
im glad to be reunited with it. aside from the fact it contains a lot of files since 2009 (including my bar review materials and law office documents), it already became a part of my daily life. i remember when it broke down weeks ago, it disrupted my daily routine. it also affected my work since without it, i had to use the office computer and share it with our office secretary (our office only has one computer).
i was also forced to use the desktop PC at home. using it isnt bad since its got better specs and a larger flat screen. only problem is, the desktop PC's settings are not personalized, and i cant personalize it, to my preferences (since its like a public computer, primarily used by my sister). when i surf the net, i already have regular websites i go to in my laptop's browser and usually avoid going to new websites (my sister criticizes me that using the internet that way is boring. well, i would rather have a laptop that's virus free. i can try to find other ways of making life interesting by doing exciting things than risking going to a virus infected website).
im already used to this laptop that i dont even want to think of buying a replacement for it (although i started window shopping for a replacement when the repair shop told me that there are other problems aside from the hinges. they told me that after fixing the hinges, another problem arose. somehow the broken hinges affected other parts of the laptop, particularly the screen). not sure how long this laptop will last with its new hinges. so far its still working fine. but i think i need to start saving up for a replacement just in case it can no longer be revived the next time it breaks down.
i thinks i forgots how to writes during the times my laptop was aways.
im glad to be reunited with it. aside from the fact it contains a lot of files since 2009 (including my bar review materials and law office documents), it already became a part of my daily life. i remember when it broke down weeks ago, it disrupted my daily routine. it also affected my work since without it, i had to use the office computer and share it with our office secretary (our office only has one computer).
i was also forced to use the desktop PC at home. using it isnt bad since its got better specs and a larger flat screen. only problem is, the desktop PC's settings are not personalized, and i cant personalize it, to my preferences (since its like a public computer, primarily used by my sister). when i surf the net, i already have regular websites i go to in my laptop's browser and usually avoid going to new websites (my sister criticizes me that using the internet that way is boring. well, i would rather have a laptop that's virus free. i can try to find other ways of making life interesting by doing exciting things than risking going to a virus infected website).
im already used to this laptop that i dont even want to think of buying a replacement for it (although i started window shopping for a replacement when the repair shop told me that there are other problems aside from the hinges. they told me that after fixing the hinges, another problem arose. somehow the broken hinges affected other parts of the laptop, particularly the screen). not sure how long this laptop will last with its new hinges. so far its still working fine. but i think i need to start saving up for a replacement just in case it can no longer be revived the next time it breaks down.
i thinks i forgots how to writes during the times my laptop was aways.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
that cant be the answer to the question...even if its the same answer i got myself
source: http://fuckyeahhowimetyourmother.tumblr.com/
and why is facebook starting to look a lot like tumblr? why do people keep posting tumblr posts on facebook? i guess thats better than having the facebook people go to tumblr.
thank God for the rain!!!
despite the supposedly cold "-ber/brr months", i find the weather to be still too warm (except for the times when im not feeling well. in those cases, i can stay in my office room for an entire day with the AC turned off). i just took a nice cold shower, its raining, im in front of the fan and im still sweating like i just climbed a flight of stairs. at least im not panting.
the local weather bureau just said a few days ago that due to climate change, the warm season will be much warmer. crap. if were just starting with the cold season and im already feeling the heat, the summer season will be pure torture. things will be much worse in the next decade and im really not looking forward to it. kind of reminds me of Marshall Eriksen's environmentalist boss Garrison Cootes who initially gave up in saving the world and preparing himself for the inevitable doom. Cootes, and his employees, just try enjoy each remaining day they have on the planet for Cootes would rather do this instead of struggling to save the planet and probably wasting each day for what appears to be a lost cause. Marshall didnt agree with Cootes' way of dealing with the problem. Although its nice that their office tries to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, still, Cootes is being selfish for his way of dealing with the problem does not take into consideration the generations that will come after them. Marshall, who was expecting to have a child, told Cootes that he wont give up saving the planet, even if it means he will do it by himself, for the sake of his unborn son or daughter. This message managed to make Cootes change his philosophy and helped Marshall save the planet (and Marshall was shown doing a terrible job at saving the planet on his own, as an environmental lawyer).
when i was a kid, one of the things i wanted to be was to become some kind of environmentalist. i wanted to do my part in saving the planet. but as i grew up, i learned how inconvenient and how difficult it is. there are still a few things i do to contribute to the effort of not aggravating the environmental situation and one of them is to make sure i dont throw my trash anywhere. when im in the mall, i always look for the nearest rest room in case a trash bin isnt available because there's bound to be a trash bin inside the rest room. i try to save water too, like switching the shower off when i wont be using it even for just a few minutes. but my brother told me something that annoyingly makes sense. he said, we can save all the water we want but if a majority of the people still waste it, were just losing the water were saving to the irresponsible majority. not only did we not save water, irresponsible people get to use it. of course, even if it made sense, it doesnt mean i should stop trying.
as of now, i try to remind myself to do my part in saving the planet as an individual. im hoping that someday i would be taking part in a collective effort, and do something more concrete than what im doing. hopefully, when im ready, its not too late to do anything.
the local weather bureau just said a few days ago that due to climate change, the warm season will be much warmer. crap. if were just starting with the cold season and im already feeling the heat, the summer season will be pure torture. things will be much worse in the next decade and im really not looking forward to it. kind of reminds me of Marshall Eriksen's environmentalist boss Garrison Cootes who initially gave up in saving the world and preparing himself for the inevitable doom. Cootes, and his employees, just try enjoy each remaining day they have on the planet for Cootes would rather do this instead of struggling to save the planet and probably wasting each day for what appears to be a lost cause. Marshall didnt agree with Cootes' way of dealing with the problem. Although its nice that their office tries to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, still, Cootes is being selfish for his way of dealing with the problem does not take into consideration the generations that will come after them. Marshall, who was expecting to have a child, told Cootes that he wont give up saving the planet, even if it means he will do it by himself, for the sake of his unborn son or daughter. This message managed to make Cootes change his philosophy and helped Marshall save the planet (and Marshall was shown doing a terrible job at saving the planet on his own, as an environmental lawyer).
when i was a kid, one of the things i wanted to be was to become some kind of environmentalist. i wanted to do my part in saving the planet. but as i grew up, i learned how inconvenient and how difficult it is. there are still a few things i do to contribute to the effort of not aggravating the environmental situation and one of them is to make sure i dont throw my trash anywhere. when im in the mall, i always look for the nearest rest room in case a trash bin isnt available because there's bound to be a trash bin inside the rest room. i try to save water too, like switching the shower off when i wont be using it even for just a few minutes. but my brother told me something that annoyingly makes sense. he said, we can save all the water we want but if a majority of the people still waste it, were just losing the water were saving to the irresponsible majority. not only did we not save water, irresponsible people get to use it. of course, even if it made sense, it doesnt mean i should stop trying.
as of now, i try to remind myself to do my part in saving the planet as an individual. im hoping that someday i would be taking part in a collective effort, and do something more concrete than what im doing. hopefully, when im ready, its not too late to do anything.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
i rarely leave the neutral zone
i think im the type of lawyer that clients find depressing. i only smile when i greet them and its not even a good smile since its not in my nature to smile.
when i review the client's case, i always try to look at the worst case scenario, thus optimism can only be seen outside my window on sunny days. when i tell them my opinion, i tell it as objectively as possible and make sure i dont give them the impression that would get their hopes up since some clients have the tendency to misunderstand or force what they want to believe i said. when the case has a good chance of winning, i tell it with a blank face with a cautious tone because some clients interpret a good chance of winning as 100% victory. if the case is something difficult to litigate, i tell them straight away. if there's no possibility of winning, i do the same thing and ask them to seek a second opinion and hope that the other lawyer would find something i didnt see. my facial expression always gives the impression of 50-50 with my tone of voice leaning on the negative half.
during hearings, i try not to talk to the client. i prefer observing the other scheduled hearings. after the hearing, i try to answer whatever questions the clients have, like clarifications on what transpired during the hearing. i try to deliver my answers in a neutral manner, not to reflect any kind of bias. of course i should be an advocate of my client's cause but i try not to internalize it that i might lose my objectivity in handling the case. having a clear view of the case is important for me to make sure i dont become close minded. as one law professor said, one shouldnt swallow everything a client gives. defend the client to the best of your abilities but that doesnt mean you can only do it by believing in everything a client says. thats why i always have reservations on what clients tell me. this is easy for me to do since im born a skeptic. whether they do it intentionally or not, clients will always be biased and i must see the picture from an objective point of view as much as possible in order to handle the case well. unfortunately for my clients, i can only do that by being objective all the time thus i show no sympathy or compassion whenever i talk to them even if their condition would be heartbreaking for some people. i just tell them what i think like an emotionless automaton.
there was one instance when i asked a client, who just lost her husband who died after being stabbed to death, about her case and started saying she's grieving and how bad it is to have lost her husband, i kept telling her to just focus on my questions and only provide relevant answers. i didnt say it rudely but i didnt show any concern that she's still grieving. i also kept hinting that she's planning to sue the wrong people and her perception of the case is clouded because she's pointing the blame on the wrong people. she keeps on narrating how tragic her case was and forcing her belief that such particular persons should be made responsible when after an objective review of the case, the persons she wants to sue arent really guilty at all. i really dont know how to tell it to her so i just kept saying my opinion objectively. i cant hide the fact that my only concern was to get an objective picture of her case. clients who try to appeal for sympathy and pity really irritates me because its difficult to get a good picture of their case or if i do get a clear picture, their minds are closed to whatever is not in accordance to what they believe or perceive.
when i review the client's case, i always try to look at the worst case scenario, thus optimism can only be seen outside my window on sunny days. when i tell them my opinion, i tell it as objectively as possible and make sure i dont give them the impression that would get their hopes up since some clients have the tendency to misunderstand or force what they want to believe i said. when the case has a good chance of winning, i tell it with a blank face with a cautious tone because some clients interpret a good chance of winning as 100% victory. if the case is something difficult to litigate, i tell them straight away. if there's no possibility of winning, i do the same thing and ask them to seek a second opinion and hope that the other lawyer would find something i didnt see. my facial expression always gives the impression of 50-50 with my tone of voice leaning on the negative half.
during hearings, i try not to talk to the client. i prefer observing the other scheduled hearings. after the hearing, i try to answer whatever questions the clients have, like clarifications on what transpired during the hearing. i try to deliver my answers in a neutral manner, not to reflect any kind of bias. of course i should be an advocate of my client's cause but i try not to internalize it that i might lose my objectivity in handling the case. having a clear view of the case is important for me to make sure i dont become close minded. as one law professor said, one shouldnt swallow everything a client gives. defend the client to the best of your abilities but that doesnt mean you can only do it by believing in everything a client says. thats why i always have reservations on what clients tell me. this is easy for me to do since im born a skeptic. whether they do it intentionally or not, clients will always be biased and i must see the picture from an objective point of view as much as possible in order to handle the case well. unfortunately for my clients, i can only do that by being objective all the time thus i show no sympathy or compassion whenever i talk to them even if their condition would be heartbreaking for some people. i just tell them what i think like an emotionless automaton.
there was one instance when i asked a client, who just lost her husband who died after being stabbed to death, about her case and started saying she's grieving and how bad it is to have lost her husband, i kept telling her to just focus on my questions and only provide relevant answers. i didnt say it rudely but i didnt show any concern that she's still grieving. i also kept hinting that she's planning to sue the wrong people and her perception of the case is clouded because she's pointing the blame on the wrong people. she keeps on narrating how tragic her case was and forcing her belief that such particular persons should be made responsible when after an objective review of the case, the persons she wants to sue arent really guilty at all. i really dont know how to tell it to her so i just kept saying my opinion objectively. i cant hide the fact that my only concern was to get an objective picture of her case. clients who try to appeal for sympathy and pity really irritates me because its difficult to get a good picture of their case or if i do get a clear picture, their minds are closed to whatever is not in accordance to what they believe or perceive.
the countdown begins
SNSD's album will be released on october 19 or one week from now. it was supposed to be released earlier this month but was delayed for weeks because of last minute change of plans. their company decided to have a simultaneous US release. with this news, it means they're finally testing the possibility of venturing into the US market.
whether they will be successful in the US remains a big unknown (i think). after their success in the japanese market (after conquering the korean market of course), the next place to go would be europe given that its been shown, through their company, that there are a lot of kpop non-asian fans in europe. so naturally, it appears the next frontier would be to promote in a european country. but for some reason, their company decided to check the possibility of extending their reach in the US market. they have proven themselves successful in dominating the asian region and have a great potential in doing the same in europe but they're taking a step further by seeing the possibility of taking on the US market.
obviously, hardcore fans would believe they will be successful. im not saying its impossible but the probability of succeeding depends on too many factors to give a good prediction of the outcome. i think their company will have to rely heavily on their US partner on how to make SNSD marketable in the US. the fact that the Wonder Girls didnt succeed already shows that being widely successful in one corner of the globe doesnt necessarily mean a good chance of penetrating the US market.
SNSD has two english speaking members because they were born in america and spent some time growing up in the US. but having two out of nine members who are fluent in english surely wont be enough. they do have a member who's good at studying and could probably rank third in english speaking if she's been studying well enough (i think the rest of the members have been studying english, maybe in preparation for a possible venture in the US market). in the case of their japanese promotions, only one member was fluent in japanese while the rest studied enough to speak a bit of conversational japanese. that was enough but in the case of japan, kpop was, and is, already popular there to begin with. so the language barrier isnt that burdensome in the promotion activities given there's already a healthy demand from the consumers even before they made their japanese debut album. in the US, with its "limited tolerance" for foreign culture, the language barrier will surely pose problems in promotion activities (unless their US partner manages to think of a way to remove this from the equation by coming up with an effective and creative promotion strategy).
but then again, SNSD's company's plans to venture in the US market is non-committal in a sense that it will only release a US edition of the SNSD album. other than that, there's no news of any other plans. reminds me of the Eraserhead's Aloha Milkyway album which had an Asian edition and released in the asian region, i think more specifically, south east asia. that didnt work and i think it became the start of the band's sharp decline. i remember criticizing the Eheads album as made for non-Filipinos and the band lost their essence in such album.
in a way, it seems the plan to limit the US activity to a simple album release is a good way to check whether there's a potential market in the US for SNSD at this point in time (i think thats also the reason that holding a SNSD concert in the philippines is very unlikely given that the album sales here isnt really that phenomenal or at least the reception of local fans reflects that the philippine market will not generate sufficient profit). but of course, spending money and effort to do this could mean that if things didnt turn out well, they will start brainstorming (for the album release opens the possibility of having a more reliable market research) on how to approach the US market since if things turn out well in europe and they sustain their momentum in asia, and given the possible limited period they have in promoting SNSD (i mean, popularity comes and goes and time is its biggest enemy. the same goes for the korean wave), they have to crack the code in succeeding in the US market before the opportunity to seize it expires. having an asian pop group with a potential to make an impact in the US isnt something thats easy to come by.
whether they will be successful in the US remains a big unknown (i think). after their success in the japanese market (after conquering the korean market of course), the next place to go would be europe given that its been shown, through their company, that there are a lot of kpop non-asian fans in europe. so naturally, it appears the next frontier would be to promote in a european country. but for some reason, their company decided to check the possibility of extending their reach in the US market. they have proven themselves successful in dominating the asian region and have a great potential in doing the same in europe but they're taking a step further by seeing the possibility of taking on the US market.
obviously, hardcore fans would believe they will be successful. im not saying its impossible but the probability of succeeding depends on too many factors to give a good prediction of the outcome. i think their company will have to rely heavily on their US partner on how to make SNSD marketable in the US. the fact that the Wonder Girls didnt succeed already shows that being widely successful in one corner of the globe doesnt necessarily mean a good chance of penetrating the US market.
SNSD has two english speaking members because they were born in america and spent some time growing up in the US. but having two out of nine members who are fluent in english surely wont be enough. they do have a member who's good at studying and could probably rank third in english speaking if she's been studying well enough (i think the rest of the members have been studying english, maybe in preparation for a possible venture in the US market). in the case of their japanese promotions, only one member was fluent in japanese while the rest studied enough to speak a bit of conversational japanese. that was enough but in the case of japan, kpop was, and is, already popular there to begin with. so the language barrier isnt that burdensome in the promotion activities given there's already a healthy demand from the consumers even before they made their japanese debut album. in the US, with its "limited tolerance" for foreign culture, the language barrier will surely pose problems in promotion activities (unless their US partner manages to think of a way to remove this from the equation by coming up with an effective and creative promotion strategy).
but then again, SNSD's company's plans to venture in the US market is non-committal in a sense that it will only release a US edition of the SNSD album. other than that, there's no news of any other plans. reminds me of the Eraserhead's Aloha Milkyway album which had an Asian edition and released in the asian region, i think more specifically, south east asia. that didnt work and i think it became the start of the band's sharp decline. i remember criticizing the Eheads album as made for non-Filipinos and the band lost their essence in such album.
in a way, it seems the plan to limit the US activity to a simple album release is a good way to check whether there's a potential market in the US for SNSD at this point in time (i think thats also the reason that holding a SNSD concert in the philippines is very unlikely given that the album sales here isnt really that phenomenal or at least the reception of local fans reflects that the philippine market will not generate sufficient profit). but of course, spending money and effort to do this could mean that if things didnt turn out well, they will start brainstorming (for the album release opens the possibility of having a more reliable market research) on how to approach the US market since if things turn out well in europe and they sustain their momentum in asia, and given the possible limited period they have in promoting SNSD (i mean, popularity comes and goes and time is its biggest enemy. the same goes for the korean wave), they have to crack the code in succeeding in the US market before the opportunity to seize it expires. having an asian pop group with a potential to make an impact in the US isnt something thats easy to come by.
Monday, October 10, 2011
draining the drained
its been one year since i got me self employed. and i remember last year, i had a really terrible cough during my first two weeks of employment. back then i thought that my body must have tried really hard not to get sick during the bar exams that when it was finally over, the cough came in full blast.
the reason i remembered my terrible cough last year, which was one year ago, is because im sick again at this same time this year. i started not feeling well a few hours ago in the office. when i got home, i checked my temperature and i have a low fever. normally, i dont realize i have a fever until someone touches me and tells me im hot (90% of the time, i have no fever. it just so happens im simply hot. yup, im hot. i dont even use a blanket even during the cold weather because my body heat is enough to warm me up). but this time, even with a low fever, i thought of checking my temperature because i wasnt really feeling well. i have a mild sore throat too since yesterday so it might mean im going to have a cold in the new few days. hopefully, its not the flu.
there's also the possibility that this fever is related to what the doctor told me a few weeks ago. he said if i start to have a low fever within one month from the time i consulted him, i must see him right away. if that is the case....it means i will have to keep a tight budget until next year. crap. i havent even started recovering the medical expenses from the previous months.
the reason i remembered my terrible cough last year, which was one year ago, is because im sick again at this same time this year. i started not feeling well a few hours ago in the office. when i got home, i checked my temperature and i have a low fever. normally, i dont realize i have a fever until someone touches me and tells me im hot (90% of the time, i have no fever. it just so happens im simply hot. yup, im hot. i dont even use a blanket even during the cold weather because my body heat is enough to warm me up). but this time, even with a low fever, i thought of checking my temperature because i wasnt really feeling well. i have a mild sore throat too since yesterday so it might mean im going to have a cold in the new few days. hopefully, its not the flu.
there's also the possibility that this fever is related to what the doctor told me a few weeks ago. he said if i start to have a low fever within one month from the time i consulted him, i must see him right away. if that is the case....it means i will have to keep a tight budget until next year. crap. i havent even started recovering the medical expenses from the previous months.
Wednesday, October 05, 2011
getting stranger by the minute
although i check my facebook account from time to time (got addicted to reblogging stuff on tumblr and i check the latest news on twitter), only now did i realize that i havent been really checking it for months (i stopped playing games on it by late April because of the PS3 and it started to get boring from there). usually, i just log in, check for messages or requests, then log out (like checking an email and looking for urgent stuff). when i logged in just a few minutes ago and checked my notifications, i noticed some kind of notification of a new message from a group account. i checked it and thats when i saw convos from weeks and months ago and how much of a stranger ive become. havent used YM for months too. maybe for more than a year already. i dont even remember when i stopped using YM. the last i remember was up to mid-2009. i always have my cellphone with me. within arms reach 24/7 but 95% of the time, it rings because of some work-related matter (just like a few hours ago).
even if im usually online, have a facebook account and other social networking stuff, im pretty much an island. wow. im still an island.
actually, i know that already but giving it some thought really makes the realization...real. i dont even know what im saying. but what im trying to say is...im an atom. im an atomized individual. im not even part of a molecule. im simply an atom. an atom inside a cubicle. im an atom inside a cubicle with a computer thats connected to the outside world but im not really connected to the outside world in a sense that im part of a molecule. im just an atom with a gizmo thats can connect me to the outside world but the outside world doesnt really connect to me thus ensuring that i stay as an atom and not a molecule. its being enabled to look at the outside from the inside but the outside aint looking in.
i need to get me some fresh air. and a social life. but first some fresh air. im not even sure if i can still have a social life since the world is starting to get strange. well, im becoming strange to the world. or im starting to become an awkward atom. i miss this kind of "somewhat nonsensical" stuff or "it makes sense but its really presented in a very weird manner" kind of stuff. and im not even drunk or taking drugs.
even if im usually online, have a facebook account and other social networking stuff, im pretty much an island. wow. im still an island.
actually, i know that already but giving it some thought really makes the realization...real. i dont even know what im saying. but what im trying to say is...im an atom. im an atomized individual. im not even part of a molecule. im simply an atom. an atom inside a cubicle. im an atom inside a cubicle with a computer thats connected to the outside world but im not really connected to the outside world in a sense that im part of a molecule. im just an atom with a gizmo thats can connect me to the outside world but the outside world doesnt really connect to me thus ensuring that i stay as an atom and not a molecule. its being enabled to look at the outside from the inside but the outside aint looking in.
i need to get me some fresh air. and a social life. but first some fresh air. im not even sure if i can still have a social life since the world is starting to get strange. well, im becoming strange to the world. or im starting to become an awkward atom. i miss this kind of "somewhat nonsensical" stuff or "it makes sense but its really presented in a very weird manner" kind of stuff. and im not even drunk or taking drugs.
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
my back is aching and im bored
just saw on a korean news on a korean channel that there's some anti-korean wave protests happening in japan. i guess the korean wave was able to penetrate too deep in japan that some japanese feel that this should be a serious concern. they think it has reached a level that makes it a threat to japanese culture and society. if im not mistaken (since im not really paying that much attention to the korean news. im not even sure if its actually some "real" news program), some japanese politicians are contemplating taking action against the korean wave (legislating some form of regulation probably).
well, since i saw it on a korean channel, there's a possibility (and good probability) that the news might be exaggerated a little bit. of course, there will be a bias in reporting the news item. there were footages of a rally, some clips of comments of some japanese personalities (maybe politicians) and the changes in some commercial districts which used to be filled with korean stuff (now replaced with japanese items of course). the tone of the report was also very serious. so it really gives off the impression that the news item is some serious concern for both countries. i mean, imagine local news channels here reporting about a mass protest about china's "hostile" attitude towards the philippines with regard to some territorial dispute and delivered by the reporter in a manner as if there is an impending inevitable war. the facts are given some sort of color and makes it look very serious when the situation, although serious, is really not that dark the way it was presented.
i wondered if such a thing will happen here in the philippines. will there be mass actions against the korean wave to protect our philippine culture and society from such foreign influence? i dont think so. our sense of nationalism or patriotism and sense of culture isnt really as...vibrant or as strong as koreans and japanese nationals (our sense of culture and patriotism should be greatly improved but the problem is how or where to begin). also, weve dealt with and "survived" fads before like the mexican telenovelas and japanese anime and it had its influences, might have left a deep impression to particular generations but i dont think its even something to be concerned about. plus, we have a colonial mentality to begin with. so there is still a need to build up our national pride. right now, or, the current state of things, we just adopt and adapt to the changing cultural and social environment. we integrate whatever foreign influence into our somewhat abstract culture we claim as our own. what our culture is exactly is hard to define since our nation is very culturally diverse. this abstract identity causes confusion but we manage to get by. for a poor country, i think were not doing that bad because despite how difficult things can get, we always push through. i think this is something we should take note of. we dont self-destruct despite what seems to be an endless barrage of negative stuff (the corruption, the calamities, some sort of crisis left and right). we keep on struggling to move forward and we keep doing it with a smile even if we admit we are a poor nation with a lot of problems.
anyway, the problem with or what makes the korean wave a concern is that korea is intentionally exporting it to promote korean culture. it raises other countries' awareness of their culture. its supposed to make korea (or south korea) and its culture look interesting. its essentially a marketable product that is successfully spreading globally. i dont think it has made such a deep impact yet in our country. it has made an impact, but somehow, i see it as a fad that will go away and were just waiting for the next "big" thing the local media will promote to us. the korean wave is bound to leave an impression but i dont think we will react the same way some japanese are reacting now. besides, if the same thing happens here, meaning, mass actions and possible regulation, it would run counter to a constitutionally granted liberty. its a form of censorship. and usually, what is censored makes the censored material a more sought item or object. its better to just let things be, it will pass or something new will crop up sooner or later. but then again, this is easy for us to do and this might not be a common attitude in japan.
well, since i saw it on a korean channel, there's a possibility (and good probability) that the news might be exaggerated a little bit. of course, there will be a bias in reporting the news item. there were footages of a rally, some clips of comments of some japanese personalities (maybe politicians) and the changes in some commercial districts which used to be filled with korean stuff (now replaced with japanese items of course). the tone of the report was also very serious. so it really gives off the impression that the news item is some serious concern for both countries. i mean, imagine local news channels here reporting about a mass protest about china's "hostile" attitude towards the philippines with regard to some territorial dispute and delivered by the reporter in a manner as if there is an impending inevitable war. the facts are given some sort of color and makes it look very serious when the situation, although serious, is really not that dark the way it was presented.
i wondered if such a thing will happen here in the philippines. will there be mass actions against the korean wave to protect our philippine culture and society from such foreign influence? i dont think so. our sense of nationalism or patriotism and sense of culture isnt really as...vibrant or as strong as koreans and japanese nationals (our sense of culture and patriotism should be greatly improved but the problem is how or where to begin). also, weve dealt with and "survived" fads before like the mexican telenovelas and japanese anime and it had its influences, might have left a deep impression to particular generations but i dont think its even something to be concerned about. plus, we have a colonial mentality to begin with. so there is still a need to build up our national pride. right now, or, the current state of things, we just adopt and adapt to the changing cultural and social environment. we integrate whatever foreign influence into our somewhat abstract culture we claim as our own. what our culture is exactly is hard to define since our nation is very culturally diverse. this abstract identity causes confusion but we manage to get by. for a poor country, i think were not doing that bad because despite how difficult things can get, we always push through. i think this is something we should take note of. we dont self-destruct despite what seems to be an endless barrage of negative stuff (the corruption, the calamities, some sort of crisis left and right). we keep on struggling to move forward and we keep doing it with a smile even if we admit we are a poor nation with a lot of problems.
anyway, the problem with or what makes the korean wave a concern is that korea is intentionally exporting it to promote korean culture. it raises other countries' awareness of their culture. its supposed to make korea (or south korea) and its culture look interesting. its essentially a marketable product that is successfully spreading globally. i dont think it has made such a deep impact yet in our country. it has made an impact, but somehow, i see it as a fad that will go away and were just waiting for the next "big" thing the local media will promote to us. the korean wave is bound to leave an impression but i dont think we will react the same way some japanese are reacting now. besides, if the same thing happens here, meaning, mass actions and possible regulation, it would run counter to a constitutionally granted liberty. its a form of censorship. and usually, what is censored makes the censored material a more sought item or object. its better to just let things be, it will pass or something new will crop up sooner or later. but then again, this is easy for us to do and this might not be a common attitude in japan.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
i want a vacation but maybe i dont want it bad enough
by this time last year, i was eager to get a job. ive been thinking about it as early as two weeks before the bar exams. i would have wanted to take a vacation because of the awfully draining months of reviewing but given my financial status then, i had to get a job. ever since i started working in 2009 (yep, i only started working in 2009, half a decade after graduating from college), i dont want to be financially dependent on my parents. my bank account was so depleted that i would be forced to use my medical emergency funds if i dont get a job in a week (i always make sure i have enough money for a not so expensive medical emergency). so right after the bar exams, i was already updating my resume. and by the middle of the week of the last week of september 2010, i was already submitting one of them resumes to a particular government office in makati (and i never got a call from such office).
after months of reviewing, i only got seven days of rest. on the eighth day after the bar exams, i started working in a nearby law office. i really wish i took a longer vacation. i wanted to just bum around. but given that i dont really have any money left, and bumming around isnt really free (im too old to be a freeloader. well, there is no age limit to be a freeloader but...i just dont feel like being one at the moment), i became determined to get a job as soon as possible.
when i started working, i honestly thought that i had a 50-50 chance of passing the bar (i was doing okay during the first two bar sundays but i started messing things up on the third and fourth bar sunday). its because of this that i convinced myself to start working. if i dont pass the bar exams, i will have to repeat the bar review process all over again. so i need to earn some money again in order to pay for the expenses for the second take (i used up all the money i saved when i worked for 10 months in an NGO. actually, i had to take a part time job during the bar review because the money i saved by working in the NGO wasnt enough to cover hotel expenses). so i started making computations, how much it will cost me, how much i need to save, etc. (for a person who claims to hate math, i do a lot of computations. well, i dont really hate the simple arithmetic stuff). so i was already making plans in the event i failed the bar exams. i was not only trying to recover financially but also trying to earn enough money for a worst case scenario.
fast forward one year later. i dont need to take the bar exams again. i used the money i saved to buy a laptop for my sister to replace the laptop i took from her (the one im currently using). but im not really better off financially compared to last year. im near to where i started a year ago --- almost bankrupt. only this time, i can last a month before im forced to use my medical emergency funds. why? medical expenses and medical procedures which arent really emergencies but serious enough that it cant be ignored and must be given attention as soon as possible. also bought a new desktop PC. there are also bills to pay, groceries, and other miscellaneous expenses which slows down my financial recovery from the stuff that depleted my funds recently.
i may be the type of person who doesnt really dream of becoming rich but im the type of person who becomes less stressed when im financially stable. thats why its a big deal for me to earn enough money so i can spend freely without much worries and feel some sense of security about the future. but i dont aim to earn more than i what i really need.
after months of reviewing, i only got seven days of rest. on the eighth day after the bar exams, i started working in a nearby law office. i really wish i took a longer vacation. i wanted to just bum around. but given that i dont really have any money left, and bumming around isnt really free (im too old to be a freeloader. well, there is no age limit to be a freeloader but...i just dont feel like being one at the moment), i became determined to get a job as soon as possible.
when i started working, i honestly thought that i had a 50-50 chance of passing the bar (i was doing okay during the first two bar sundays but i started messing things up on the third and fourth bar sunday). its because of this that i convinced myself to start working. if i dont pass the bar exams, i will have to repeat the bar review process all over again. so i need to earn some money again in order to pay for the expenses for the second take (i used up all the money i saved when i worked for 10 months in an NGO. actually, i had to take a part time job during the bar review because the money i saved by working in the NGO wasnt enough to cover hotel expenses). so i started making computations, how much it will cost me, how much i need to save, etc. (for a person who claims to hate math, i do a lot of computations. well, i dont really hate the simple arithmetic stuff). so i was already making plans in the event i failed the bar exams. i was not only trying to recover financially but also trying to earn enough money for a worst case scenario.
fast forward one year later. i dont need to take the bar exams again. i used the money i saved to buy a laptop for my sister to replace the laptop i took from her (the one im currently using). but im not really better off financially compared to last year. im near to where i started a year ago --- almost bankrupt. only this time, i can last a month before im forced to use my medical emergency funds. why? medical expenses and medical procedures which arent really emergencies but serious enough that it cant be ignored and must be given attention as soon as possible. also bought a new desktop PC. there are also bills to pay, groceries, and other miscellaneous expenses which slows down my financial recovery from the stuff that depleted my funds recently.
i may be the type of person who doesnt really dream of becoming rich but im the type of person who becomes less stressed when im financially stable. thats why its a big deal for me to earn enough money so i can spend freely without much worries and feel some sense of security about the future. but i dont aim to earn more than i what i really need.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
absence of electricity contributes a lot to non-productivity
i woke up to a text message earlier today that informed me that government offices wont be open today. crap. i need to revise a pleading again. i need to adjust the dates i indicated in it (dates are really important for this pleading). it was supposed to be filed yesterday but since im too busy to personally take care of it (i had to attend a hearing that i requested to be scheduled in the morning but was scheduled in the afternoon), i suggested that it be filed today. so i edited it yesterday to make it ready for filing today. since the government office wont be open, it would be delayed for another day.
when i went to my law office earlier this morning (so i experienced the strong winds which rendered my umbrella useless) to work since there was no electricity at home, i found out there was no electricity there too. so i decided to just get the case file for tomorrow's hearing for another case and i will just have to go to work very early tomorrow to edit the pleading before i go to court (since the final version is saved inside the office computer and i need to finalize it quickly because i need to meet a client in the afternoon). the suspension today isnt really doing me any good. work just piles up.
at least i was able to test my bag. i stopped using my backpack last july when i brought it to The Travel Club to be repaired. ive been using it since 2003 so naturally, wear and tear has set in. its bottom part was already starting to have holes because the fabric was already thin due to constant usage. so i bought myself a new one. i wanted another jansport bag because ive tested its durability but the material used now by jansport isnt the same one as the jansport bag i own. i prefer the old material over the current one (all the salespersons ive talked to keep telling me that the new material is much more durable but still, im not convinced. besides, i really dont like its texture. i really like the old fabric). also, i need to switch to a bag which is good to use when i go to court (although a backpack is ok, its not really convenient to carry case files in it and i end up with a crumpled court attire. but in terms of comfort, a backpack is still the most comfortable and efficient to carry). after weeks of looking for a nice bag, i decided to get the Belkin Stride 360 Messenger (its not perfect but its the best i can find given my limited budget and the limited period i have. i dont have any other bag i can use once i send my jansport bag for repair). it can carry case files neatly (the fit is perfect) and i can securely place my laptop in it. i like where the compartments are placed and i can quickly get things from it efficiently. it also looks durable too. but what i havent tested is its claim that its water-resistant. sure it got wet before, when i used it while walking in the rain and the contents didnt get wet but those times involved just ordinary rain. and my umbrella was able to do its part in making sure i dont get wet with my bag. so the weather today was a good test to find out how much rain water it can withstand (since the usual contents of my bag are my laptop and case files, and both items shouldnt get wet). knowing how bad the weather is, i didnt bring my laptop but i brought a thin case file (which i placed in a plastic envelope just to make sure). so out i went to face the strong winds and the pouring rain. i had to stop using the umbrella from time to time because of the strong wind. naturally, i got wet from head to toe because of the erratic wind direction and the occasional strong downpour. my bag was dripping wet too when i reached the office. i then opened it to check if its inside portion got wet. holy shit. it resisted the rain water and it resisted it well. the inside portion was really dry. even if the wind was blowing in every direction and i had to stop using the umbrella, and i got really wet, and its not even the type of bag that's really sealed since its a messenger bag, it still managed to keep my things inside it dry. and it dries quickly too. after seeing how well my bag did today, its only now that i can say that im satisfied with my purchase. it may not be a good looking bag (thats why i said its not perfect because i really dont like the way it looks) but it really gets the job done. or it really serves its purpose very well.
i just looked at my bag and gave it a thumbs up.
when i went to my law office earlier this morning (so i experienced the strong winds which rendered my umbrella useless) to work since there was no electricity at home, i found out there was no electricity there too. so i decided to just get the case file for tomorrow's hearing for another case and i will just have to go to work very early tomorrow to edit the pleading before i go to court (since the final version is saved inside the office computer and i need to finalize it quickly because i need to meet a client in the afternoon). the suspension today isnt really doing me any good. work just piles up.
at least i was able to test my bag. i stopped using my backpack last july when i brought it to The Travel Club to be repaired. ive been using it since 2003 so naturally, wear and tear has set in. its bottom part was already starting to have holes because the fabric was already thin due to constant usage. so i bought myself a new one. i wanted another jansport bag because ive tested its durability but the material used now by jansport isnt the same one as the jansport bag i own. i prefer the old material over the current one (all the salespersons ive talked to keep telling me that the new material is much more durable but still, im not convinced. besides, i really dont like its texture. i really like the old fabric). also, i need to switch to a bag which is good to use when i go to court (although a backpack is ok, its not really convenient to carry case files in it and i end up with a crumpled court attire. but in terms of comfort, a backpack is still the most comfortable and efficient to carry). after weeks of looking for a nice bag, i decided to get the Belkin Stride 360 Messenger (its not perfect but its the best i can find given my limited budget and the limited period i have. i dont have any other bag i can use once i send my jansport bag for repair). it can carry case files neatly (the fit is perfect) and i can securely place my laptop in it. i like where the compartments are placed and i can quickly get things from it efficiently. it also looks durable too. but what i havent tested is its claim that its water-resistant. sure it got wet before, when i used it while walking in the rain and the contents didnt get wet but those times involved just ordinary rain. and my umbrella was able to do its part in making sure i dont get wet with my bag. so the weather today was a good test to find out how much rain water it can withstand (since the usual contents of my bag are my laptop and case files, and both items shouldnt get wet). knowing how bad the weather is, i didnt bring my laptop but i brought a thin case file (which i placed in a plastic envelope just to make sure). so out i went to face the strong winds and the pouring rain. i had to stop using the umbrella from time to time because of the strong wind. naturally, i got wet from head to toe because of the erratic wind direction and the occasional strong downpour. my bag was dripping wet too when i reached the office. i then opened it to check if its inside portion got wet. holy shit. it resisted the rain water and it resisted it well. the inside portion was really dry. even if the wind was blowing in every direction and i had to stop using the umbrella, and i got really wet, and its not even the type of bag that's really sealed since its a messenger bag, it still managed to keep my things inside it dry. and it dries quickly too. after seeing how well my bag did today, its only now that i can say that im satisfied with my purchase. it may not be a good looking bag (thats why i said its not perfect because i really dont like the way it looks) but it really gets the job done. or it really serves its purpose very well.
i just looked at my bag and gave it a thumbs up.
Monday, September 26, 2011
three hundred sixty five days ago?
by this time last year...i was probably sleeping already after using up my remaining strength for the last bar sunday.
usually, i finish the exam 30 minutes before the end of the allocated time (i spend the last 25-30 minutes reviewing my answers. if i can still edit it, i edit it. there's such a thing as "marking" so erasures must be avoided as much as possible). such wasnt the case for the last bar subject. it was the only time that the school bell rang and i wasnt even reviewing my answers yet. my left had was already in pain by the third bar sunday. i was already losing control over it by the fourth bar sunday. i had to take breaks while answering the last bar subject (which includes legal forms) because my left hand was no longer following instructions from my brain. my fingers and my pen strokes were starting to have a life of its own. thats why i took longer than usual. also, i was really exhausted mentally that i also spent time convincing myself not to give up during the exam. since i have the tendency to just drop things when ive had enough or when im really tired, i was starting to entertain the thought of just answering anything and just be finished with it. its really hard to squeeze one's brain when one no longer has the energy to squeeze. my eyes were also really tired too.
when i stepped out of the exam room that afternoon, even when im fully aware that im done with the exams, i just went on autopilot. i just want to use enough brainpower to get back to the hotel, claim my stuff, and go home. fortunately, my body reserved enough energy for me to have the strength to commute (i was almost bankrupt by that time so i cant really afford to ride a taxi). in all the bar sundays, except the first one, i always went home by riding the crowded MRT. sometimes i have to wait for half an hour for a train where i can fit since i have three bags with me, filled with reviewers, clothing and a laptop. thats why while lining up to buy the train ticket, i was thinking of blogging something about the MRT commute experience. there must be some better way to operate this mode of public transport (just finished the bar exams and i was already thinking of something which required a lot of brain cells)
it was also exactly one year ago when the bar exam blast happened. fortunately, i told my family not to wait for me outside the gates of la salle. i told them to just wait for me at trinoma. when i got there, we had dinner at the trinoma foodcourt and i ordered me self some korean food. then we went home, i unpacked my stuff and slept.
usually, i finish the exam 30 minutes before the end of the allocated time (i spend the last 25-30 minutes reviewing my answers. if i can still edit it, i edit it. there's such a thing as "marking" so erasures must be avoided as much as possible). such wasnt the case for the last bar subject. it was the only time that the school bell rang and i wasnt even reviewing my answers yet. my left had was already in pain by the third bar sunday. i was already losing control over it by the fourth bar sunday. i had to take breaks while answering the last bar subject (which includes legal forms) because my left hand was no longer following instructions from my brain. my fingers and my pen strokes were starting to have a life of its own. thats why i took longer than usual. also, i was really exhausted mentally that i also spent time convincing myself not to give up during the exam. since i have the tendency to just drop things when ive had enough or when im really tired, i was starting to entertain the thought of just answering anything and just be finished with it. its really hard to squeeze one's brain when one no longer has the energy to squeeze. my eyes were also really tired too.
when i stepped out of the exam room that afternoon, even when im fully aware that im done with the exams, i just went on autopilot. i just want to use enough brainpower to get back to the hotel, claim my stuff, and go home. fortunately, my body reserved enough energy for me to have the strength to commute (i was almost bankrupt by that time so i cant really afford to ride a taxi). in all the bar sundays, except the first one, i always went home by riding the crowded MRT. sometimes i have to wait for half an hour for a train where i can fit since i have three bags with me, filled with reviewers, clothing and a laptop. thats why while lining up to buy the train ticket, i was thinking of blogging something about the MRT commute experience. there must be some better way to operate this mode of public transport (just finished the bar exams and i was already thinking of something which required a lot of brain cells)
it was also exactly one year ago when the bar exam blast happened. fortunately, i told my family not to wait for me outside the gates of la salle. i told them to just wait for me at trinoma. when i got there, we had dinner at the trinoma foodcourt and i ordered me self some korean food. then we went home, i unpacked my stuff and slept.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
it will end in less than 24 hours
by this time last year, i was already drained. my confidence was further depleted by the third sunday subjects (i focused too much on a particular subject under commercial law and i relied on the wrong reviewer for criminal law). to make things worse, i really dont have a thing for remedial law. i dropped civil procedure during law school, which eventually led to my one year delay in finishing my law studies. as for ethics and legal forms, its difficult to prepare for it because it seems so simple.
during the latter half of the bar exams, there were less visitors during saturdays. so im really close to losing it and just dropping everything (because the isolation, surprisingly, was driving me nuts). good thing there's a part of me that never quits (which only contradicts me on crucial moments). usually, i just give up and do something else because its bothersome to persevere. so my non-quitter self isnt something i can summon. it just pops up when it thinks it has to or when it feels like it. fortunately, it thought the bar exams isnt something worth giving up. so i just kept telling myself then that i managed to finish three bar sundays, one more bar sunday couldnt be that bad (although the effort that's needed for it was really something ive never experienced before). the thing is, at this point, with not much confidence left, and being drained emotionally, physically and mentally, it really becomes difficult to keep moving forward. the whole ordeal was immensely tiring. and im someone who really has a very low stamina. speed is my field of expertise, not endurance. i try to finish things quickly because i cant stand prolonged physical and mental effort (in addition to getting tired, i get bored). thats why i had to keep telling myself that its just one more sunday. my body really wanted to give up already and just rest. thankfully, that small part of me managed to convince me to get up the following sunday and finish the bar exams.
during the latter half of the bar exams, there were less visitors during saturdays. so im really close to losing it and just dropping everything (because the isolation, surprisingly, was driving me nuts). good thing there's a part of me that never quits (which only contradicts me on crucial moments). usually, i just give up and do something else because its bothersome to persevere. so my non-quitter self isnt something i can summon. it just pops up when it thinks it has to or when it feels like it. fortunately, it thought the bar exams isnt something worth giving up. so i just kept telling myself then that i managed to finish three bar sundays, one more bar sunday couldnt be that bad (although the effort that's needed for it was really something ive never experienced before). the thing is, at this point, with not much confidence left, and being drained emotionally, physically and mentally, it really becomes difficult to keep moving forward. the whole ordeal was immensely tiring. and im someone who really has a very low stamina. speed is my field of expertise, not endurance. i try to finish things quickly because i cant stand prolonged physical and mental effort (in addition to getting tired, i get bored). thats why i had to keep telling myself that its just one more sunday. my body really wanted to give up already and just rest. thankfully, that small part of me managed to convince me to get up the following sunday and finish the bar exams.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
i got married on september 24
well, if im going to believe my dream a while ago. and i got married in Cambodia to some non-cambodian asian hottie (someone who looked like NS Yoon Ji with less korean features. or like bianca gonzalez, only more chinita). ha! in my dreams! and that is what literally happened.
even im a person who's not going to get married, im not surprised to have such a dream since i watched HIMYM last night and that infuenced my dream earlier this morning. and as usual (meaning this isnt the first time i dreamt of getting married), i got married because of some sort of deal. business related deal or something to that effect. whenever i get married in my dreams, there's some level of professionality, and convincing people that the marriage is grounded on the common notion that its based on some emotional relationship when its really meant to attain something perfectly rational, where getting married is the only effective means to an end. its like having a "lets pull this one off and get it over with" kind of thing.
for a person who doesnt really care about getting married, i do attend a lot of weddings. i just attended one earlier this month. i rarely miss weddings. the only weddings i miss are the ones where im not really close to the one getting married.
i dont know why i frequently attend weddings. maybe i recognize the fact that its supposed to be a once in a lifetime thing, like death (since we dont have divorce here). so im more likely to attend it compared to a birthday party which is a yearly thing. now that i think about it, i dont really enjoy attending it but i attend weddings anyway because i see its significance. i guess. and i dont see myself getting married, not only because its very unlikely but also because i really dont see myself in such a situation when i try to think about it now. i simply cannot imagine it. i dont feel i want to get married either (although i think i could get married for a very good reason). i seriously see a marriage as a lifetime contract and putting "lifetime" and "contract" together doesnt really look enticing. but since i view it as a contract, if the terms and conditions are good, then the contract may be worth giving some thought.
even im a person who's not going to get married, im not surprised to have such a dream since i watched HIMYM last night and that infuenced my dream earlier this morning. and as usual (meaning this isnt the first time i dreamt of getting married), i got married because of some sort of deal. business related deal or something to that effect. whenever i get married in my dreams, there's some level of professionality, and convincing people that the marriage is grounded on the common notion that its based on some emotional relationship when its really meant to attain something perfectly rational, where getting married is the only effective means to an end. its like having a "lets pull this one off and get it over with" kind of thing.
for a person who doesnt really care about getting married, i do attend a lot of weddings. i just attended one earlier this month. i rarely miss weddings. the only weddings i miss are the ones where im not really close to the one getting married.
i dont know why i frequently attend weddings. maybe i recognize the fact that its supposed to be a once in a lifetime thing, like death (since we dont have divorce here). so im more likely to attend it compared to a birthday party which is a yearly thing. now that i think about it, i dont really enjoy attending it but i attend weddings anyway because i see its significance. i guess. and i dont see myself getting married, not only because its very unlikely but also because i really dont see myself in such a situation when i try to think about it now. i simply cannot imagine it. i dont feel i want to get married either (although i think i could get married for a very good reason). i seriously see a marriage as a lifetime contract and putting "lifetime" and "contract" together doesnt really look enticing. but since i view it as a contract, if the terms and conditions are good, then the contract may be worth giving some thought.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
do i look like a crystal?
i attended a hearing yesterday and since it was my first time to attend the case, i introduced myself. most of the time, people would say "christian" (for some reason, only the Taco Bell cashiers get it right the first time when they ask for my name). but yesterday, the judge thought it was "crystal". so when he was already reciting the order in open court, i corrected him about my name. seriously, do i look like a "crystal"?
its not the first time someone heard my name as "crystal". back in college, i called a college friend at her home and her mother thought the caller was someone named "crystal". so when her mother told my college friend that some person named "crystal" was calling, she was absolutely clueless who it was. when she realized it was me, she said she wanted to say to her mother that if she only knew who the caller was, the name "crystal" wouldnt even cross her mind.
the other person who made the "crystal" mistake was me. back in law school, some professors use our first name when calling us to recite in class. i had a blockmate with such name and when i was being called, i thought our professor was calling her. thats why i wasnt responding. the professor thought i was just playing dumb to avoid the recitation (since i already did some stupid stunts in the same class to avoid recitation. one was saying im going to pass when its not even allowed. my seatmate noticed that i read the case but i still refused to recite it. she asked why didnt i just recite the case when based from my readings, i studied it. i just said im not in the mood to recite. she just looked at me with a concerned look on her face. the other stupid stunt was by stepping out of the classroom because i know the order of people who were about to recite and i was next. the professor even had to check i wasnt just roaming around outside and waiting for the class to end. while i was out, he asked my classmate who just went out after me if he saw me in the restroom. he said yes. actually, we didnt see each other because i wasnt in the restroom, i went to the nearby store to buy some food because i was bored in class and i wanted to avoid recitation. good thing i said i was at the restroom when the professor asked where ive been. it was risky for my classmate to cover for me but fortunately, we had the same answer. of course, the professor still didnt believe us because i took too long to come back).
its not the first time someone heard my name as "crystal". back in college, i called a college friend at her home and her mother thought the caller was someone named "crystal". so when her mother told my college friend that some person named "crystal" was calling, she was absolutely clueless who it was. when she realized it was me, she said she wanted to say to her mother that if she only knew who the caller was, the name "crystal" wouldnt even cross her mind.
the other person who made the "crystal" mistake was me. back in law school, some professors use our first name when calling us to recite in class. i had a blockmate with such name and when i was being called, i thought our professor was calling her. thats why i wasnt responding. the professor thought i was just playing dumb to avoid the recitation (since i already did some stupid stunts in the same class to avoid recitation. one was saying im going to pass when its not even allowed. my seatmate noticed that i read the case but i still refused to recite it. she asked why didnt i just recite the case when based from my readings, i studied it. i just said im not in the mood to recite. she just looked at me with a concerned look on her face. the other stupid stunt was by stepping out of the classroom because i know the order of people who were about to recite and i was next. the professor even had to check i wasnt just roaming around outside and waiting for the class to end. while i was out, he asked my classmate who just went out after me if he saw me in the restroom. he said yes. actually, we didnt see each other because i wasnt in the restroom, i went to the nearby store to buy some food because i was bored in class and i wanted to avoid recitation. good thing i said i was at the restroom when the professor asked where ive been. it was risky for my classmate to cover for me but fortunately, we had the same answer. of course, the professor still didnt believe us because i took too long to come back).
Monday, September 19, 2011
give me sight beyond sight
while i was walking home from work this afternoon, i noticed how good my peripheral vision was. not that its the first time i noticed it but im glad to realize that its still good.
more than a half a decade ago, a friend asked whether i had eyes at the back of my head. we were in a covered court and i was texting. my friend was standing in front of me watching the basketball game behind me. then without lifting my head, while continuing texting, i tilted my head to the right to avoid the basketball coming from behind that could have grazed my left ear if i didnt move my head slightly. he was puzzled how i knew that there was a ball coming at me from behind when i was busy texting. i replied it was because of his facial expression and hand gestures. since he was standing right in front of me, he was in my peripheral vision while i was texting. i noticed that he was looking upward, slightly to my left side and his arms were preparing to catch something. given the direction of his line of sight and the way he was stretching my arms, my brain, through my peripheral vision, managed to calculate where the ball will be coming from. instinctively, i tilted my head. of course, luck was also a factor since i have no idea how fast the ball was so if i didnt tilt my head fast enough, it would have hit me. all my peripheral vision and my brain could do is calculate the trajectory. also, since i dont like moving a lot, or wasting unnecessary energy (as one college friend said, im an energy saving device where all my movements are calculated, trying not to waste any energy), instead of moving to the right, i just tilted my head thinking that if my calculations are correct, that would suffice to avoid the ball. and i did all this without giving it much thought since i was focused on texting. ive developed an instinct to be mindful of my surroundings through my peripheral vision.
i think this also explains why when another friend tried to grab my arnis sticks from behind, he was surprised that he wasnt able to snatch it despite stealthily sneaking behind me. my hands automatically tightened its grip when it felt someone was trying to suddenly grab my arnis sticks. i was really alert then. or my reflexes were really good. now, i think its time to do something to improve it (i realized with the weight i gained, my physical body naturally became slower and its having difficulties keeping up with my brain signals. ever since i was a kid, i relied on speed, flexibility and agility. and since i dont exercise, even with the added weight, it does not automatically convert itself to strength. at least my sense of coordination is still good but my brain is starting to notice that my body feels different with its new weight). back in august 2009 and january 2010, i fell victim to pickpockets. that should have served as a wake up call that im not as mindful of my surroundings anymore. i just shrugged it off as misfortune.
well, at least my peripheral vision is still good. i still notice the slightest movements at the corner of my eye. i can easily see a mouse at my outermost corner of my eye even when im watching TV programs with subtitles. and im still good at sensing vehicles behind me by observing the facial expressions of persons and movements of other vehicles in front of me without being mindful of it.
more than a half a decade ago, a friend asked whether i had eyes at the back of my head. we were in a covered court and i was texting. my friend was standing in front of me watching the basketball game behind me. then without lifting my head, while continuing texting, i tilted my head to the right to avoid the basketball coming from behind that could have grazed my left ear if i didnt move my head slightly. he was puzzled how i knew that there was a ball coming at me from behind when i was busy texting. i replied it was because of his facial expression and hand gestures. since he was standing right in front of me, he was in my peripheral vision while i was texting. i noticed that he was looking upward, slightly to my left side and his arms were preparing to catch something. given the direction of his line of sight and the way he was stretching my arms, my brain, through my peripheral vision, managed to calculate where the ball will be coming from. instinctively, i tilted my head. of course, luck was also a factor since i have no idea how fast the ball was so if i didnt tilt my head fast enough, it would have hit me. all my peripheral vision and my brain could do is calculate the trajectory. also, since i dont like moving a lot, or wasting unnecessary energy (as one college friend said, im an energy saving device where all my movements are calculated, trying not to waste any energy), instead of moving to the right, i just tilted my head thinking that if my calculations are correct, that would suffice to avoid the ball. and i did all this without giving it much thought since i was focused on texting. ive developed an instinct to be mindful of my surroundings through my peripheral vision.
i think this also explains why when another friend tried to grab my arnis sticks from behind, he was surprised that he wasnt able to snatch it despite stealthily sneaking behind me. my hands automatically tightened its grip when it felt someone was trying to suddenly grab my arnis sticks. i was really alert then. or my reflexes were really good. now, i think its time to do something to improve it (i realized with the weight i gained, my physical body naturally became slower and its having difficulties keeping up with my brain signals. ever since i was a kid, i relied on speed, flexibility and agility. and since i dont exercise, even with the added weight, it does not automatically convert itself to strength. at least my sense of coordination is still good but my brain is starting to notice that my body feels different with its new weight). back in august 2009 and january 2010, i fell victim to pickpockets. that should have served as a wake up call that im not as mindful of my surroundings anymore. i just shrugged it off as misfortune.
well, at least my peripheral vision is still good. i still notice the slightest movements at the corner of my eye. i can easily see a mouse at my outermost corner of my eye even when im watching TV programs with subtitles. and im still good at sensing vehicles behind me by observing the facial expressions of persons and movements of other vehicles in front of me without being mindful of it.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
i was halfway through
by this time last year, i was preparing for the third installment of the bar exams. commercial law and criminal law. like the first bar sunday, i had to borrow a codal from a friend. i managed to finish law school (and the bar review), without having a corporation law codal. i just used a soft copy of it i found in the internet. since gadgets like cellphones and laptops arent allowed in the examination room, i had to borrow a codal which i can use for last minute reviewing inside the room.
i remember two mistakes i made during the third review week. one, i focused too much on corporation law when there are other law subjects that fall under commercial law (like intellectual property law, insolvency law, insurance law, negotiable instruments, banking law, agency and partnership, etc.). a friend asked me the week before which week i was worried about and i said its the 2nd week because of taxation law. he then asked, shouldnt it be third week? only then that i realized what he meant. since commercial law isnt as "coherent" like the other fields, composed of bits and pieces of legislation here and there, it can get a bit difficult to review it, especially with very limited time. at least taxation law is much more..."solid" as a field of law. commercial law has a wide range of subjects similar to civil law but its concepts can be more difficult to grasp. anyway, i focused too much on corporation law because i thought the bulk of the questions would be under this subject. i was wrong. the questions were almost equally divided in the different subjects under it, trying to give equal importance to each subject. fortunately, i took some of these subjects as electives (like banking law and intellectual property law). fortunately again, i had some stocked knowledge from these elective subjects.
my second mistake is my choice of reviewer. only after the third bar sunday did i learn that one law school intentionally releases pre-week reviewers with mistakes on it. i have relied on it for the first three sundays. and i have noticed some of the mistakes but i thought they were just honest mistakes. only when a fellow bar examinee told me that such school has a reputation of releasing reviewers with mistakes in it, to mislead the other examinees like me, did i learn about it. crap. thats why i got the last question for criminal law wrong. well, not entirely wrong but i would say i can only get partial points for it because of the wrong term i used.
i remember two mistakes i made during the third review week. one, i focused too much on corporation law when there are other law subjects that fall under commercial law (like intellectual property law, insolvency law, insurance law, negotiable instruments, banking law, agency and partnership, etc.). a friend asked me the week before which week i was worried about and i said its the 2nd week because of taxation law. he then asked, shouldnt it be third week? only then that i realized what he meant. since commercial law isnt as "coherent" like the other fields, composed of bits and pieces of legislation here and there, it can get a bit difficult to review it, especially with very limited time. at least taxation law is much more..."solid" as a field of law. commercial law has a wide range of subjects similar to civil law but its concepts can be more difficult to grasp. anyway, i focused too much on corporation law because i thought the bulk of the questions would be under this subject. i was wrong. the questions were almost equally divided in the different subjects under it, trying to give equal importance to each subject. fortunately, i took some of these subjects as electives (like banking law and intellectual property law). fortunately again, i had some stocked knowledge from these elective subjects.
my second mistake is my choice of reviewer. only after the third bar sunday did i learn that one law school intentionally releases pre-week reviewers with mistakes on it. i have relied on it for the first three sundays. and i have noticed some of the mistakes but i thought they were just honest mistakes. only when a fellow bar examinee told me that such school has a reputation of releasing reviewers with mistakes in it, to mislead the other examinees like me, did i learn about it. crap. thats why i got the last question for criminal law wrong. well, not entirely wrong but i would say i can only get partial points for it because of the wrong term i used.
Friday, September 16, 2011
i feel like a sloth
"today i just dont feel like doing anything. i just want to lay in my bed."
woke up today with a boulder of laziness on my shoulder (or a cloak of laziness...or a cloud of laziness over my head...whatever, im too lazy to really think of something better...point is im feeling extremely lazy). i had to ask myself whether its already saturday. i answered its only friday and i need to get up to go to the office (i like my morning conversations with myself. there was a time i felt like i was in some negotiation table, arguing against myself how much longer i should sleep before i get up to go to work. can i afford 5 minutes? can i extend it to 10? will be 15 minutes be too much or could i still manage to have enough time? of course the other side was arguing that i need to get at that moment. then i start editing my pleading in my head while in a half-asleep mode so by the time im going to edit it in my office, i already have the revisions ready to save time and make up for the extended sleep i took. yep. there are times im already "half-working" while half-conscious because my mind is much clearer during this period)
anyway, it took me an hour before i managed to leave my bed and go to the living room. since i was feeling extremely lazy, i just sat in front of the TV, waiting for the drowsiness to wear off, which was trying to pull me back to my bed. another hour passed before i finished getting dressed to go to work. it took me five minutes just to wear my shoes because i really didnt want to put them on. i just want to lie down again in my bed.
now, im sitting in my office, with an MS word file containing a pleading im supposed to be finalizing. and im just too drowsy to work. i want to go to back to sleep. normally, i would get some nice cup of coffee but the nearby Mcdonalds is still under renovation, im not that desperate to go to starbucks and i dont feel like drinking 7-11's crappy coffee. i think today will be a very unproductive day (unless motivation kicks in from out of the blue)
woke up today with a boulder of laziness on my shoulder (or a cloak of laziness...or a cloud of laziness over my head...whatever, im too lazy to really think of something better...point is im feeling extremely lazy). i had to ask myself whether its already saturday. i answered its only friday and i need to get up to go to the office (i like my morning conversations with myself. there was a time i felt like i was in some negotiation table, arguing against myself how much longer i should sleep before i get up to go to work. can i afford 5 minutes? can i extend it to 10? will be 15 minutes be too much or could i still manage to have enough time? of course the other side was arguing that i need to get at that moment. then i start editing my pleading in my head while in a half-asleep mode so by the time im going to edit it in my office, i already have the revisions ready to save time and make up for the extended sleep i took. yep. there are times im already "half-working" while half-conscious because my mind is much clearer during this period)
anyway, it took me an hour before i managed to leave my bed and go to the living room. since i was feeling extremely lazy, i just sat in front of the TV, waiting for the drowsiness to wear off, which was trying to pull me back to my bed. another hour passed before i finished getting dressed to go to work. it took me five minutes just to wear my shoes because i really didnt want to put them on. i just want to lie down again in my bed.
now, im sitting in my office, with an MS word file containing a pleading im supposed to be finalizing. and im just too drowsy to work. i want to go to back to sleep. normally, i would get some nice cup of coffee but the nearby Mcdonalds is still under renovation, im not that desperate to go to starbucks and i dont feel like drinking 7-11's crappy coffee. i think today will be a very unproductive day (unless motivation kicks in from out of the blue)
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