poster girl

i remember years ago i had "problems" with my dreams. there are instances when i wake up inside my dream and after realizing it, wake up again in a dream then wake up a third time and thats when i really wake up (usually). so i have experienced having a "dream within a dream" but not the cool way portrayed in Inception. it was simply waking up again and again after realizing that the surroundings dont feel "real" enough or notice something not right.

anyway, since there were times when i was finding it difficult to know whether i was still dreaming or not (because there are times when dreams are beyond my control or im too "absorbed" in it that i cant manipulate my dream or the dream has control over me), i made use of a poster of a beautiful girl (not the sleazy type that appeal to prurient interest) as my indicator that im in the real world. its serves a similar function as a totem in Inception (but in Inception, the primary function of the totem is not only for the person to know whether he or she is dreaming but also to know whether its his or her dream or someone else's). for some reason, my subconscious cannot reproduce the poster in my dreams. so when i dream that im in my room, i always take note whether the poster is there or not to know whether im awake or not (so i would know whether i should keep waking up and it happened that i kept waking up until i saw the poster on my wall). 

a college blockmate saw the poster when he was in my room and asked "who is she supposed to be?", i said that she's my link to reality. i dont know where that poster is now. its probably somewhere inside my room but i havent really noted where i placed it (which is odd because i always take note of the things inside my room and know exactly where they are so i would know whether someone went inside my room. i even notice if a strand of hair wasn't in my room when i left it. but i dont know the order of the clothes in my cabinet. i dont care about clothing. im digressing which is something i havent done for a while). the poster's no longer on my wall. i took it down because it was already dusty. also, i no longer have problems of waking up again and again in my dreams so i really dont have much use for it anymore. but it would be nice to wake up and see a pretty face every morning.