no coffee, no cigarettes

earlier today, while sitting in my office, staring at the ceiling i thought, "gawd how i wish i have a cigarette in my hand right now". i wish i can still smoke. i was sitting in the middle of room, working with my door closed. it was mostly silent and peaceful (unfortunately, not deafeningly silent). ive been busy for quite some time now and suddenly having a moment to block out work thoughts and just stare at the ceiling in my quiet office room made me wish i can still smoke. it would calm me despite the pile of scattered paper on my desk and the blinking cursor on the affidavit that i was doing.

well, i can still smoke but ive programmed myself to remember how painful it is to cough whenever i pick up the nasty habit. and how terrible i felt whenever i catch a cold. just thinking about it made me think its not worth spending a couple of pesos for a stick of cigarette.

to make things worse, my body has developed an aversion to coffee. my immune system drops whenever i drink more than a cup of coffee. i also start to feel sick sometimes even if i just consumed one cup (depends on how stressed i am). i cant even drink one cup of coffee daily. if i do drink more than a cup of coffee, half of the time, i do get sick. it sucks. really does.

i really try not to drink coffee unless im desperate or cant control my craving for one. i cant remember the last time i even drank a cup of coffee. it wasnt that long, thats for sure. but its not as recent as three weeks ago. i was told i must have overdosed myself with coffee thats why my body developed some adverse reaction to it. who knew drinking half a liter of coffee in one sitting  was too much? cant blame my coffee maker for being able to brew a lot of coffee. and i really cant blame myself for not being capable of throwing that much good coffee down the drain. i just had to brew that much coffee whenever i use the coffee maker. now it just sits there gathering dust because my body rejects coffee like a virus to be purged.

im seriously going to be depressed the moment my body starts having a similar reaction against chocolates.