breaking stuff since 1983

this week has been about breaking stuff. or things getting broken.

Smoking:
Yup. After quitting a few years ago, i managed to pick up that wonderful stick of cigarette. Holy crap. I missed it so much! I have been craving for it for weeks. The craving was really driving me nuts. I was having that imaginary taste of nicotine in my mouth. So when i finally gave in, it was like "good God! im sorry but fuck! why cant i smoke this everyday?!" Fortunately, i can still control myself well enough that i havent picked up a second stick since then. But lately, ive been catching myself staring at women at the smoker's area in restaurants. they must think im looking at them but im actually eyeing the cigarette stick theyre holding between their fingers. well, if they're hot, im also eyeing them but fuck! what i really want is that cigarette stick!


Simbang Gabi:
I managed to complete Simbang Gabi two years in a row. Not this year. I havent even attended one. Crap. Well, God, this wasnt part of the promise i made back in 2009. i never made an offer to attend Simbang Gabi. so, i didnt break our deal. So far ive managed to comply with my end of the bargain. if i havent, send some lightning my way. or actually hit me with lightning. it doesnt really matter to me anymore. And im sorry if im taking too long with the communion thing. You have to admit, im finding it difficult to forgive myself. My condition was, and still is, im going to start receiving holy communion when im ready. for a person who is commonly perceived as an atheist, i take my faith and worship seriously.


Running Shoes:
Plus broke. sort of. while walking inside the mall, my right running shoe felt weird. when i checked it half an hour later (yup, it took me half an hour to reach that level of curiosity why my right running shoe felt weird while walking), part of the sole was already detached. do i fix it or buy another pair? im thinking both.


Woman's Heart:
Yeah. i really dont like breaking women's hearts. actually i dont break women's hearts...intentionally. im the one who usually gets his heart broken. But i have to. Christmas is just around the corner so i better break it before Christmas. damn it! Why cant "im really busy right now. most likely im going to be busy until election time" a sufficient hint? i stopped answering her text messages too. Why would someone insist on texting a person who hasnt answered for days? and the last text message i sent was "sorry, im really busy. i have no time". come to think of it, i also experienced being at the other end. but i got the hint after a couple of days of being ignored. i was just bored thats why i kept pestering her. why do we have to complicate things?

then fast forward a few years later, theyre going to be in some law office, complaining about their partners. people have the knack for choosing the wrong person for the wrong reasons. usually, its really a matter of being more logical during the time you were making that crucial choice which to keep and which to let go. sometimes im tempted to say, "when you chose that partner of yours, what were you thinking? oh. wait, you werent thinking. and now youre crying your eyes out? what happened to the other person? is she or he better off compared to you?" well, if i said this, my client would probably unleash hell in my office since im not really helping. meh. what do i know? i just keep on moving until i reach the end of the journey. the unbaggable mr. kite.