ho-hum

GWR: hey! what's up?
TLT: not much
GWR: how are you? its been quite some time...
TLT: yeah. about a year more or less
GWR: haha. about a year to be exact
TLT: huh?
GWR: its been exactly one year since we last spoke.
TLT: oh. wow. you remember.
GWR: of course.
TLT: so what are you up to?
GWR: you know me. still ______. i think the real question is, what are you up to?
TLT: lawyering. what else?
GWR: that wasnt what you intended to do one year ago
TLT: really? what did i intend to do one year ago?
GWR: ______
TLT: oh. was that the plan? well, ive got a better one now
GWR: told you it wont work.
TLT: what makes you think it didnt work? haha. and since when did I listen to you?
GWR: since when did you listen to anybody?
TLT: well, i think im closer to getting myself hired as a consultant
GWR: changing the topic as usual
TLT: ok. what do you want to talk about?
GWR: what exactly are you doing?
TLT: umm..talking to you?
GWR: T, i know you. i know where this is going. five years down the road, i know a part of you will feel youve deprived yourself of another childhood.
TLT: huh?
GWR: we may not have communicated for a year but i know what's up with you. i hear youre working too much. i know about the consultant thing. youve proposed to work on weekends and on weeknights in your former office. youre doing that "cheat code" thing again where you gain so much experience in so little time. the same way you acquired your so-called wisdom that made you appear smart. everytime you shut the world out, its like you level-up and get ahead. you immerse yourself in that...greatness shit. but it always ends up with a part of you eating you up for depriving yourself of something more important. you always try to beat the system and you do it as a distraction
TLT: W, im aware of that. and im ok with it. the thing is, im tired. im tired of people trying to make me happy. it hurts me when they fail because i know it hurts them. my parents, my friends, everyone. all of them make attempts...to cheer me up, to make me happy, to at the very least, make life satisfactory. and all of them are not even close to succeeding because none of them can give me what i want. heck! i dont even know what i want
GWR: T, i know you know what you want. since when did you ever become unsure of what you want? you just dont want to go get it. and thats what i dont get. was it really that bad? i mean ______
TLT: if thats what you think, then ______. in any case, its irrelevant. dont you think?
GWR: why is it irrelevant?
TLT: because i dont care about that anymore. i never did care. i dont have an aptitude for that
GWR: blech! dont give me that "im too cold to care" shit. T, ive always told you that ______
TLT: go believe what you want. the things is ______
GWR: hm. i guess you really are back. i mean ______
TLT: yup. just like old times.
GWR: so that means ill be seeing you more often?
TLT: nope. you'll be seeing me more often. see the difference?
GWR: haha. yeah. and i dont agree. i think you'll be the one consulting me.
TLT: i dont think so. im good. youre the one who wont be able to resist ______
GWR: keep telling yourself that. oh. and by the way, i also know about ______ and ______. T, are you really sure with what youre doing?
TLT: i think you know the answer to that. and i like the way you phrased the question
GWR: i suggest you pay a visit to ______. or at least give him a call and reconnect with him. there might come a time you wont have a choice
TLT: way ahead of you.
GWR: uh oh. thats not good. it means ______
TLT: haha. yeah. but i'll manage. i always do
GWR: you really have to stop this. sooner or later your luck will run out.
TLT: when that day comes ______. but until then, ______.
GWR: seriously, your boredom is as destructive as your doubt.
TLT: that's why i kill boredom. because boredom can kill me.
GWR: how about your doubt?
TLT: its useful. why do you think im effective in my work?
GWR: and why do you think everything else doesnt work for you?
TLT: ______
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