during one of the bar saturdays, most likely the first bar saturday, some friends dropped by my hotel room and caught me watching this video. well, when i let them enter the room, i forgot the video was playing (i was playing it over and over and over again). i only noticed that it was still playing when we were already talking and some of them were watching it. i dont know. for some reason, i quickly closed the video player when i noticed that they saw what i was watching (i acted like it was some distraction to the conversation). back then, i wasnt that comfortable being seen as someone who likes a kpop girl group (although my blog entries then would seem to say otherwise). of course now, things are much different. one year later, i no longer watch their music videos secretly in my laptop. i watch it at our living room, through my PS3 on a large TV.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
she suddenly popped in my head last week, from out of the blue
sometimes i ask myself why i do the things i do, why i do things that i dont expect or inconsistent with what i just said or done. the best answer i could give is that i shouldnt forget about my "multiple personalities"
speaking of multiple personalities (the intro has really nothing to do with this blog entry except for the two words in quotations, which is remotely related to what im about to discuss), this is why i liked a particular girl back in college (she didnt have multiple personalities but she stated something somewhat similar). around the time of the college orientation seminar to be more specific. i didnt notice her until she was seated beside me. we were arranged alphabetically in a room, and i still remember the ORSEM volunteer. i also liked her (the orsem volunteer) but the girl seated beside me grabbed my attention then. she was "pestering" me, asking me this and that. all i wanted then was to stay home and watch TV. i didnt want to sit in a room with a group of people and do childish activities that has no intellectually stimulating effect whatsoever. so the somewhat hyperactive girl sitting beside me, whom i havent seen because despite her annoying questions, i just kept looking at the front of the room, was making my day worse. then suddenly, she said something that made me interested in her. she said she has a very diverse personality (thats when i looked at her and realized the annoying girl had a pretty face). for some reason, that really caught my attention and it really made me think. from being annoying, she made herself interesting by revealing something i wanted to find out and confirm (is it really diverse as she claims?). well, unfortunately, she didnt stay in our university long enough for me to know her more. during that short period (one semester to be specific), she remained a mystery to me despite her somewhat very open and sociable personality. she was friendly but not too friendly. she was noisy and talkative but she did it in moderation. she knew when to talk and when to shut up (or maybe thats just what appeared to me). i liked the way she dressed (from top to bottom). i liked her scent. i liked her hair. i liked her playfulness. her voice was fine (i didnt like the voice of the other girl i liked almost half a decade later). point is, she didnt really stand out from the group of people in the room but what made me initially notice her is what she said about her personality. she said it with such confidence like she was declaring some unbending truth. not really. she just said it recklessly but i believed her nonetheless (or i wanted to validate her reckless claim because if it was true then...). thats what i really wanted to find out. so i may usually sound shallow when i always give a lot of consideration to physical beauty but i do take into consideration personality. well, physical beauty is a prerequisite in most instances. in some instances, the personality must be so great that it complements the physical beauty (meaning, i notice the personality first then i realize the physical beauty).
speaking of multiple personalities (the intro has really nothing to do with this blog entry except for the two words in quotations, which is remotely related to what im about to discuss), this is why i liked a particular girl back in college (she didnt have multiple personalities but she stated something somewhat similar). around the time of the college orientation seminar to be more specific. i didnt notice her until she was seated beside me. we were arranged alphabetically in a room, and i still remember the ORSEM volunteer. i also liked her (the orsem volunteer) but the girl seated beside me grabbed my attention then. she was "pestering" me, asking me this and that. all i wanted then was to stay home and watch TV. i didnt want to sit in a room with a group of people and do childish activities that has no intellectually stimulating effect whatsoever. so the somewhat hyperactive girl sitting beside me, whom i havent seen because despite her annoying questions, i just kept looking at the front of the room, was making my day worse. then suddenly, she said something that made me interested in her. she said she has a very diverse personality (thats when i looked at her and realized the annoying girl had a pretty face). for some reason, that really caught my attention and it really made me think. from being annoying, she made herself interesting by revealing something i wanted to find out and confirm (is it really diverse as she claims?). well, unfortunately, she didnt stay in our university long enough for me to know her more. during that short period (one semester to be specific), she remained a mystery to me despite her somewhat very open and sociable personality. she was friendly but not too friendly. she was noisy and talkative but she did it in moderation. she knew when to talk and when to shut up (or maybe thats just what appeared to me). i liked the way she dressed (from top to bottom). i liked her scent. i liked her hair. i liked her playfulness. her voice was fine (i didnt like the voice of the other girl i liked almost half a decade later). point is, she didnt really stand out from the group of people in the room but what made me initially notice her is what she said about her personality. she said it with such confidence like she was declaring some unbending truth. not really. she just said it recklessly but i believed her nonetheless (or i wanted to validate her reckless claim because if it was true then...). thats what i really wanted to find out. so i may usually sound shallow when i always give a lot of consideration to physical beauty but i do take into consideration personality. well, physical beauty is a prerequisite in most instances. in some instances, the personality must be so great that it complements the physical beauty (meaning, i notice the personality first then i realize the physical beauty).
Monday, September 12, 2011
library music
during the 2010 bar review, this is what i played in my mp3 player whenever i review in the library and my review pace starts to slow down. this is also the song i use whenever the person sitting near me is noisy. i really love this song.
this is how its supposed to be
just last tuesday, i made a comment that maybe september decided to become buddies with august after a really stressful day. yesterday, i thought september might be the new august. thankfully i was wrong.
i was supposed to have three court hearings today (well, two court hearings and one court related matter). two of them were rescheduled this morning, the moment i went to the court itself. some lawyers would probably be pissed because they drove all the way from somewhere only to find out that the hearing they're going to attend got cancelled. not me. having three scheduled cases in one day is a first and fortunately, two of them didnt push through. i would probably be almost as stressed as last tuesday if all three pushed through (i think last tuesday will still be more stressful).
i dont care if i dont get any appearance fee. half, if not most, of my cases are pro bono anyway so im really used to free legal services (although im starting to feel that i cant keep this up much longer because of the financial needs im starting to have). as long as it means less work, less stress, even if it leads to less pay, i dont mind.
my lazy self is really getting tired with all the work that ive been having lately.
the third scheduled hearing pushed through. if this one got cancelled, it would mean using a tremendous amount of luck that i would worry what i have to give back in return. but even if did push through, it wasnt as stressful as i thought it would be. it actually went much better than what i initially thought would happen.
i was supposed to have three court hearings today (well, two court hearings and one court related matter). two of them were rescheduled this morning, the moment i went to the court itself. some lawyers would probably be pissed because they drove all the way from somewhere only to find out that the hearing they're going to attend got cancelled. not me. having three scheduled cases in one day is a first and fortunately, two of them didnt push through. i would probably be almost as stressed as last tuesday if all three pushed through (i think last tuesday will still be more stressful).
i dont care if i dont get any appearance fee. half, if not most, of my cases are pro bono anyway so im really used to free legal services (although im starting to feel that i cant keep this up much longer because of the financial needs im starting to have). as long as it means less work, less stress, even if it leads to less pay, i dont mind.
my lazy self is really getting tired with all the work that ive been having lately.
the third scheduled hearing pushed through. if this one got cancelled, it would mean using a tremendous amount of luck that i would worry what i have to give back in return. but even if did push through, it wasnt as stressful as i thought it would be. it actually went much better than what i initially thought would happen.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
rewind, rewind further then fast forward
last year, i was in my hotel room preparing for the 2nd bar sunday. by this time, i was starting to feel how depressing it can be to be alone in the hotel room. the stress level and the loneliness was starting to drive me nuts. the experience made me realize how unprepared i was emotionally for the bar exams. i had to make use of some intellectual and spiritual strength to make up for it. i started making use of the mirrors in my hotel room to talk to myself. i kept telling myself not to panic and i try to boost my confidence by repeatedly telling myself "i can do this. one sunday at a time" (talk about being self-reliant). the complete silence wasnt really helping. i thought being alone in the hotel room would be beneficial to my last minute reviews because of the silence. using the television and watching some cable programs would be pointless since i wont be able to enjoy it because im bound to worry about the time (i only open the TV when im already tucked in bed, trying to fall asleep. i thought i had to use it for about 30 minutes since i paid for it anyway. i watched the arirang channel and there i found out about hayao miyazaki's new animated film. wow, got an info about a japanese anime director through a korean channel). my review breaks consisted only of one thing: watching girls generation music videos (for about 30 minutes). i also watched it during dinner time. i buy my own dinner at the nearby KFC. i take the meal back to my hotel room, eat dinner while sitting in front of my laptop watching the videos. it sounds pathetic but it worked. i was not comfortable texting or calling someone for company or to have someone to talk to. even if i was about to reach a low point, i still find it difficult to ask for help.
having friends drop by and visit during the saturdays before the bar sundays was really great. i wasnt able to show my appreciation for their show of support, since im not good with such thing, but i truly appreciated their visits. i even tried to tag along with some of them when they visited the other bar examinees. staying inside the hotel room for hours was really driving me crazy. it was torture. i had to tie the curtains of the hotel room so it wont be dim and gloomy even if my room at home was always dim and gloomy for more than a decade (until now. im not a fan of sunlight). it was that depressing for me.
anyway, 10 years ago, i was in my room, clueless of the terrorist attacks in the US. i found out about it the following day when i overheard a blockmate saying that when he informed another blockmate about it, she didnt believe him simply because it was the US they were talking about (this is our college blockmate who lived in the US for years). she thought that cant be possible. when i heard about it, my initial reaction in my head was "what the hell was i doing last night in my room?" i was probably in bed, listening to some music. that was my routine then.
fast forward to the present. i just spent my sunday afternoon in the office working. i wasnt able to go to the office for more or less three days last week due to health concerns. so the workload piled up. going to have another stressful monday tomorrow. i need to have some kind of social life again. the work stress might drive me crazy without me noticing it.
having friends drop by and visit during the saturdays before the bar sundays was really great. i wasnt able to show my appreciation for their show of support, since im not good with such thing, but i truly appreciated their visits. i even tried to tag along with some of them when they visited the other bar examinees. staying inside the hotel room for hours was really driving me crazy. it was torture. i had to tie the curtains of the hotel room so it wont be dim and gloomy even if my room at home was always dim and gloomy for more than a decade (until now. im not a fan of sunlight). it was that depressing for me.
anyway, 10 years ago, i was in my room, clueless of the terrorist attacks in the US. i found out about it the following day when i overheard a blockmate saying that when he informed another blockmate about it, she didnt believe him simply because it was the US they were talking about (this is our college blockmate who lived in the US for years). she thought that cant be possible. when i heard about it, my initial reaction in my head was "what the hell was i doing last night in my room?" i was probably in bed, listening to some music. that was my routine then.
fast forward to the present. i just spent my sunday afternoon in the office working. i wasnt able to go to the office for more or less three days last week due to health concerns. so the workload piled up. going to have another stressful monday tomorrow. i need to have some kind of social life again. the work stress might drive me crazy without me noticing it.
Thursday, September 08, 2011
maybe i should read law books in my free time
one notable thing i noticed now that im practicing law is my lack of confidence and uncertainty with what i know. i think i still sound like a stuttering law student when i explain the law or give legal advice. i just keep doubting myself.
its different when im asked about other topics. ask me about science stuff i know or tech stuff, i would discuss it with authority and sound like im taking the person to school (i think no one uses this phrase anymore. i probably havent heard it for more than half a decade). i become really persuasive and im good with bluffing when its about a topic im "comfortable" with. that's why my siblings always doubt me when i start to discuss something with enthusiasm. because sometimes i get carried away and i mix my opinion with the facts and make it appear as truths. i present myself as a know-it-all and really deliver what i know (or what i think i know) very convincingly. if only i can sell the stuff i know, i wouldnt be having any financial problems. the thing is, i need to really believe in what i know. its a basic thing in order to be confident about it.
i dont know why, despite after months of law practice, i still doubt myself. maybe because im too worried, that what i say will affect lives. i cant be careless in law practice. fatal mistakes can be committed (a person can rot in jail or a poor client can lose his or her life's savings), as opposed to being asked on topics that will not cause any irreparable or serious injury. im too mindful of the consequences that it makes me less effective.
its different when im asked about other topics. ask me about science stuff i know or tech stuff, i would discuss it with authority and sound like im taking the person to school (i think no one uses this phrase anymore. i probably havent heard it for more than half a decade). i become really persuasive and im good with bluffing when its about a topic im "comfortable" with. that's why my siblings always doubt me when i start to discuss something with enthusiasm. because sometimes i get carried away and i mix my opinion with the facts and make it appear as truths. i present myself as a know-it-all and really deliver what i know (or what i think i know) very convincingly. if only i can sell the stuff i know, i wouldnt be having any financial problems. the thing is, i need to really believe in what i know. its a basic thing in order to be confident about it.
i dont know why, despite after months of law practice, i still doubt myself. maybe because im too worried, that what i say will affect lives. i cant be careless in law practice. fatal mistakes can be committed (a person can rot in jail or a poor client can lose his or her life's savings), as opposed to being asked on topics that will not cause any irreparable or serious injury. im too mindful of the consequences that it makes me less effective.
this should have been my speech last May
talked to a friend last week through text message. i havent seen him for more than 10 years and we just communicated by text because i greeted him on his birthday. if i remember correctly, our last communication was back in 2009 when he was showing some interest in the studio apartment i was about to vacate. wait...our last communication was May of last year. he saw a copy of the Candidates Profiles which i made as part of my job for an NGO and he texted me about it.
anyway, he appeared surprised to know that im now a lawyer. after seeing his reply, i realized i would be surprised too. becoming a lawyer was never my childhood dream. when i was just five years old, what i wanted to be was to become a scientist (i wanted to work in a laboratory, do some experiments and scientific research). science has always been my favorite subject. until high school, i wanted to become a scientist until one of my science teachers said that there's no future for Filipino scientists working in the Philippines. our country doesnt provide much support for our scientists. so when i was reluctantly choosing a course to take in college (i didnt want to go to college after being discouraged to become a scientist and after being heavily influenced by philosophy. i perceived it as an unnecessary form of educational attainment which merely prolongs my imprisonment in a social system that is imperfect and flawed. all i want was a simple life with a simple job with as little interaction with the systematizing effect of the order of things), i just chose the ones with the least math subjects. political science and philosophy (but i chose architecture in one of the universities because it was their field of expertise). so i eventually became a political science major and earned a degree in political science. in a way, i could still be a scientist. a political scientist. but for some reason, when i was in my junior year in college, i decided to study law. why? because i think it would be interesting. i find the field of law interesting to study. thats why i really referred to it as "further studies". at that time, i was a nowhere man with nowhere plans and taking up law would seem to give me some kind of direction. or a not so boring path to take. i really thought of it as a study of law (i never watched ally mcbeal or any other laywer related tv series before (and until now) so television, and film, has nothing to do with my decision to take up law).
i also had no idea how lawyers become rich in their profession. i grew up being told that lawyering was hard work and they get paid in kind, not money. that was my impression (thats why i was puzzled when people make comments about how profitable it was to be a lawyer). my relatives, who were lawyers, were paid in the form of poultry, bread, seafood, etc. simple stuff. they never told me the "good" side of lawyering or that lawyers have really "nice" salaries. i was just told how noble the profession was, that its some form of public service without asking anything in return, etc. i was also really clueless about law firms. so when i decided to take up law, it was really to study further an academic field i find interesting.
i didnt take my law school studies seriously during the first few years. it was only when i was in third year did i start to take it seriously. i thought, "crap, it seems i might be able to finish law school. this shit is getting real". so i took it seriously, studied well, and started making plans. i mean, ive gone far enough to the point that i must have plans. having no plans with such a profession would be a lot of waste of a lot of things. lawyering is really serious stuff. its a privilege to practice law. now that its starting to sink in what ive gotten myself into, i must make sure i dont do anymore idiotic things ive done in the past (and i think ive repeatedly stated that ive done a lot of really idiotic things that are just so seriously stupid that it haunts me). the time and effort that would be lost...its just...things are really starting to become a big deal. this is why i would be surprised to know that im a lawyer. its not really my thing but the fact that i got this far, i cant simply brush it aside as nothing. lawyering is truly an interesting profession but its really for my intellectual stimulation and not for my laid back and somewhat lazy personality.
reminds me of shikamaru nara who just wants a simple life but cant have it simply because it would be a waste of potential.
anyway, he appeared surprised to know that im now a lawyer. after seeing his reply, i realized i would be surprised too. becoming a lawyer was never my childhood dream. when i was just five years old, what i wanted to be was to become a scientist (i wanted to work in a laboratory, do some experiments and scientific research). science has always been my favorite subject. until high school, i wanted to become a scientist until one of my science teachers said that there's no future for Filipino scientists working in the Philippines. our country doesnt provide much support for our scientists. so when i was reluctantly choosing a course to take in college (i didnt want to go to college after being discouraged to become a scientist and after being heavily influenced by philosophy. i perceived it as an unnecessary form of educational attainment which merely prolongs my imprisonment in a social system that is imperfect and flawed. all i want was a simple life with a simple job with as little interaction with the systematizing effect of the order of things), i just chose the ones with the least math subjects. political science and philosophy (but i chose architecture in one of the universities because it was their field of expertise). so i eventually became a political science major and earned a degree in political science. in a way, i could still be a scientist. a political scientist. but for some reason, when i was in my junior year in college, i decided to study law. why? because i think it would be interesting. i find the field of law interesting to study. thats why i really referred to it as "further studies". at that time, i was a nowhere man with nowhere plans and taking up law would seem to give me some kind of direction. or a not so boring path to take. i really thought of it as a study of law (i never watched ally mcbeal or any other laywer related tv series before (and until now) so television, and film, has nothing to do with my decision to take up law).
i also had no idea how lawyers become rich in their profession. i grew up being told that lawyering was hard work and they get paid in kind, not money. that was my impression (thats why i was puzzled when people make comments about how profitable it was to be a lawyer). my relatives, who were lawyers, were paid in the form of poultry, bread, seafood, etc. simple stuff. they never told me the "good" side of lawyering or that lawyers have really "nice" salaries. i was just told how noble the profession was, that its some form of public service without asking anything in return, etc. i was also really clueless about law firms. so when i decided to take up law, it was really to study further an academic field i find interesting.
i didnt take my law school studies seriously during the first few years. it was only when i was in third year did i start to take it seriously. i thought, "crap, it seems i might be able to finish law school. this shit is getting real". so i took it seriously, studied well, and started making plans. i mean, ive gone far enough to the point that i must have plans. having no plans with such a profession would be a lot of waste of a lot of things. lawyering is really serious stuff. its a privilege to practice law. now that its starting to sink in what ive gotten myself into, i must make sure i dont do anymore idiotic things ive done in the past (and i think ive repeatedly stated that ive done a lot of really idiotic things that are just so seriously stupid that it haunts me). the time and effort that would be lost...its just...things are really starting to become a big deal. this is why i would be surprised to know that im a lawyer. its not really my thing but the fact that i got this far, i cant simply brush it aside as nothing. lawyering is truly an interesting profession but its really for my intellectual stimulation and not for my laid back and somewhat lazy personality.
reminds me of shikamaru nara who just wants a simple life but cant have it simply because it would be a waste of potential.
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
the day after the fifth of september
by this time last year, i just slept a lot. my initial plan was to study the day after the first bar sunday. that was just...difficult to do. the exam itself was so mentally draining that a night's sleep wasnt enough to recharge. it was days, if not a week, of preparation for every bar sunday so i think it makes sense that even a full eight hours of sleep will not suffice to have enough energy to hit the books again so soon. or maybe it was just me.
i remember waking up that monday morning and then saying to myself to rest a little more. by lunch time, ive decided to just rest for the remainder of the day. i will just have to make the most out of tuesday. i was still worrying a lot about the 2nd bar sunday because the subjects scheduled for that day were civil law and taxation law. civil law covers a lot of law subjects and im not good with some of those fields of law (like contracts and obligations). as for taxation law, its like math to me. i remember when i was still a law student, i went to the mall and watched a movie the night before the final exam for my taxation law subject. thats how much i didnt care about taxation law. i didnt mind failing it because i have no patience to understand it. i have the knack to just stop caring all of a sudden. i really reach a point when i just "drop" things. its like the opposite of the saying "fall seven times, stand up eight". fail once or twice, stop trying and just do something else. why bother falling five more times. just do something else and move on. that is why im more of jack of all trades, master of none. im ok with reaching an average level of competence. i dont want to be stuck perfecting something.
anyway, i passed my taxation law subject in law school. as regards the taxation bar exam, fortunately, the arellano law bar review helped me a lot in understanding taxation law. if not for the arellano bar review, i wouldnt have passed the taxation bar exams. seriously. it was the arellano bar review that saved me from the latter half of the second bar sunday.
fast forward one year later...holy shit. i had a better day last year! if i only knew then that i will have a really stressful day today (which was preceded by a stressful day due to health reasons which made today more stressful), i would have appreciated my "rest" day last year much, much more.
i remember waking up that monday morning and then saying to myself to rest a little more. by lunch time, ive decided to just rest for the remainder of the day. i will just have to make the most out of tuesday. i was still worrying a lot about the 2nd bar sunday because the subjects scheduled for that day were civil law and taxation law. civil law covers a lot of law subjects and im not good with some of those fields of law (like contracts and obligations). as for taxation law, its like math to me. i remember when i was still a law student, i went to the mall and watched a movie the night before the final exam for my taxation law subject. thats how much i didnt care about taxation law. i didnt mind failing it because i have no patience to understand it. i have the knack to just stop caring all of a sudden. i really reach a point when i just "drop" things. its like the opposite of the saying "fall seven times, stand up eight". fail once or twice, stop trying and just do something else. why bother falling five more times. just do something else and move on. that is why im more of jack of all trades, master of none. im ok with reaching an average level of competence. i dont want to be stuck perfecting something.
anyway, i passed my taxation law subject in law school. as regards the taxation bar exam, fortunately, the arellano law bar review helped me a lot in understanding taxation law. if not for the arellano bar review, i wouldnt have passed the taxation bar exams. seriously. it was the arellano bar review that saved me from the latter half of the second bar sunday.
fast forward one year later...holy shit. i had a better day last year! if i only knew then that i will have a really stressful day today (which was preceded by a stressful day due to health reasons which made today more stressful), i would have appreciated my "rest" day last year much, much more.
i just need a pocketful of sunshine. or maybe a cool, rainy night
according to a Yahoo Health article, there are 12 signs of depression in men. if i were to believe yahoo health, im suffering from depression.
the 12 signs are:
fatigue
sleeping too much or too little
stomachache or backache
irritability
difficulty concentrating
anger or hostility
stress
anxiety
substance abuse
sexual dysfunction
indecision
suicidal thoughts
now, if i were to ask myself whether im depressed based from these signs, i would say "thats absurd". sure i have 10 to 11 of the 12 signs but i dont feel depressed at all. i dont feel happy but i dont feel depressed either. i recall suffering from depression years ago and that really felt like i hit rock bottom. of course i never really hit rock bottom before but thats how i felt back then. i dont even want to leave my bed and i really dont care about anything (this was during the memorable year of 2004. august 2004 took me on a roller coaster ride and i then found myself crashing and burning months later. good thing i managed to pull myself together the year after). maybe that was a severe kind of depression but i really dont feel depressed right now. maybe im in denial? nope. i would think i might be heading there but im still far from it. i mean, i would admit i might be in some low and somewhat depressing point in my life but i still dont fail to see the brighter side of things. i just had a stressful day but i still manage to do the things i normally do. usually, when im really down, im going to hit the bed and sleep early and hope things will be ok by the time i wake up. i havent reached that point yet so im ok.
the 12 signs are:
fatigue
sleeping too much or too little
stomachache or backache
irritability
difficulty concentrating
anger or hostility
stress
anxiety
substance abuse
sexual dysfunction
indecision
suicidal thoughts
now, if i were to ask myself whether im depressed based from these signs, i would say "thats absurd". sure i have 10 to 11 of the 12 signs but i dont feel depressed at all. i dont feel happy but i dont feel depressed either. i recall suffering from depression years ago and that really felt like i hit rock bottom. of course i never really hit rock bottom before but thats how i felt back then. i dont even want to leave my bed and i really dont care about anything (this was during the memorable year of 2004. august 2004 took me on a roller coaster ride and i then found myself crashing and burning months later. good thing i managed to pull myself together the year after). maybe that was a severe kind of depression but i really dont feel depressed right now. maybe im in denial? nope. i would think i might be heading there but im still far from it. i mean, i would admit i might be in some low and somewhat depressing point in my life but i still dont fail to see the brighter side of things. i just had a stressful day but i still manage to do the things i normally do. usually, when im really down, im going to hit the bed and sleep early and hope things will be ok by the time i wake up. i havent reached that point yet so im ok.
i would rather say today is not a good day instead of just having a bad day
holy shitload. just had a really, really stressful day. made me think if september has decided to become buddies with august.
i started the day by going to a doctor's clinic located in a hospital to consult some health related concern (i just dont run out of health problems). the doctor recommended an expensive medical procedure to see what's wrong (yup, just to see what's wrong). i just dont run out of unexpected expenses. just last sunday, i bought a P24,000 desktop computer to replace our desktop PC that just crashed last month (well, my sister gave a few thousand bucks so i really just spent P19,000). just a few months ago, i also had other health problems that made me spend a lot too because of the expensive medication. i think my internal organs really hate me right now. or maybe im just rotting from the inside.
anyway, the reason i went to the doctor this morning was because i was really feeling bad the day before. it was so bad that i was sweating in an airconditioned room and i cant concentrate during the court proceedings. i even went home early (i asked for a half-day) because i was really in pain and was feeling weak.
after having a stressful visit from the doctor (unexpected expenses really stress me out. especially now that i just spent a lot recently and it will take some time for me to recover it), i went to the office and received a court decision that ive been waiting for a month. i was already half-expecting an unfavorable decision because there's been a rumor about it more than a week ago. i was expecting this decision last august but it just came out today. out of all the cases ive handled and im currently handling, this is the one that stresses me out the most. it just had to come out today, when im having health problems. it stresses me out so much i dont want to think about it now. i will deal with it tomorrow.
i also pricked my thumb with our abnormally sharp fork while i was washing it so i can prepare myself a tuna sandwich after a stressful day. normally, i go to some fast food place after a stressful day but since im on a tight budget because of the goddamn expenses, i will just have to settle for food thats somewhat free (since im the one who buys the groceries, its not really free).
i started the day by going to a doctor's clinic located in a hospital to consult some health related concern (i just dont run out of health problems). the doctor recommended an expensive medical procedure to see what's wrong (yup, just to see what's wrong). i just dont run out of unexpected expenses. just last sunday, i bought a P24,000 desktop computer to replace our desktop PC that just crashed last month (well, my sister gave a few thousand bucks so i really just spent P19,000). just a few months ago, i also had other health problems that made me spend a lot too because of the expensive medication. i think my internal organs really hate me right now. or maybe im just rotting from the inside.
anyway, the reason i went to the doctor this morning was because i was really feeling bad the day before. it was so bad that i was sweating in an airconditioned room and i cant concentrate during the court proceedings. i even went home early (i asked for a half-day) because i was really in pain and was feeling weak.
after having a stressful visit from the doctor (unexpected expenses really stress me out. especially now that i just spent a lot recently and it will take some time for me to recover it), i went to the office and received a court decision that ive been waiting for a month. i was already half-expecting an unfavorable decision because there's been a rumor about it more than a week ago. i was expecting this decision last august but it just came out today. out of all the cases ive handled and im currently handling, this is the one that stresses me out the most. it just had to come out today, when im having health problems. it stresses me out so much i dont want to think about it now. i will deal with it tomorrow.
i also pricked my thumb with our abnormally sharp fork while i was washing it so i can prepare myself a tuna sandwich after a stressful day. normally, i go to some fast food place after a stressful day but since im on a tight budget because of the goddamn expenses, i will just have to settle for food thats somewhat free (since im the one who buys the groceries, its not really free).
Monday, September 05, 2011
remember, remember the fifth of september
i think this month will be filled with "by this time last year..." posts.
by this time last year, i finished my first bar sunday. i shared the room with two blockmates. and i barely slept the night before. not that i reviewed a lot of stuff the day before but i just couldnt fall asleep fast enough (fell asleep between 1am and 2am) and i was worried of going into a deep sleep (so i slept very lightly that i heard the sound of paper being slipped under my hotel door).
i remember dropping the readings i was reviewing that saturday by 11:30pm. the last materials i read were the decisions by Justice Carpio-Morales. then i watched one last girls' generation music video then went to sleep (that was one of the reasons i always brought a laptop every saturday before the bar sunday. when i start to panic, all i had to do was watch one of their videos and i start to think that things will be okay. i still do that until now). like i said, i fell asleep more than an hour later. and i really didnt get to sleep very well. next thing i know, one of my law school friends was calling my cellphone to make sure i was awake (i didnt know then that the hotel provides a wake up call so i requested my friend to do it the night before). i got up, read the materials that was slipped under my door, took a good cold shower then had breakfast at the hotel's dining area. went back to my hotel room, a good friend brought me my lunch, then my family went to my hotel room to wish me good luck. a few more law school friends also dropped by to wish me well for the first bar sunday.
i left my stuff at the hotel's receptionist area then walked to la salle. i surrended my cellphones at the guard station then started looking for my room assignment (felt like a high school student looking for my class section). i was assigned in the same room with two blockmates/law school friends. since we were the ones who didnt graduate on time, being in the same room with them was really good. its nice to have a familiar face during that time. made me think of our freshmen year and at the same time, brings some kind of comfort.
the bar exams started, i made my first memorable mistake. i used the box of pens that was a year old. so naturally, most, if not all of the pens had "stale" ink. after using five pens, i raised my hand and told the proctor that im going to get my other box of pens. when i got back to my seat, i thought that my seatmate probably thinks im some idiot. anyway, because of the ballpen incident, i didnt notice i skipped a page. the page that says "start at this page". that was my second memorable mistake. i noticed that i skipped that page when i was already halfway through the exam. crap! fortunately, i skipped the first item so all i had to do was make sure that my first answer was two pages long in order to make use of all the blank pages.
the rules for taking the bar exam are really strict. and i think that there's truth in the saying that poor penmanship contributes in failing the bar exams. my penmanship sucks. but i tried to improve it for months just for the bar exams.
by this time last year, i finished my first bar sunday. i shared the room with two blockmates. and i barely slept the night before. not that i reviewed a lot of stuff the day before but i just couldnt fall asleep fast enough (fell asleep between 1am and 2am) and i was worried of going into a deep sleep (so i slept very lightly that i heard the sound of paper being slipped under my hotel door).
i remember dropping the readings i was reviewing that saturday by 11:30pm. the last materials i read were the decisions by Justice Carpio-Morales. then i watched one last girls' generation music video then went to sleep (that was one of the reasons i always brought a laptop every saturday before the bar sunday. when i start to panic, all i had to do was watch one of their videos and i start to think that things will be okay. i still do that until now). like i said, i fell asleep more than an hour later. and i really didnt get to sleep very well. next thing i know, one of my law school friends was calling my cellphone to make sure i was awake (i didnt know then that the hotel provides a wake up call so i requested my friend to do it the night before). i got up, read the materials that was slipped under my door, took a good cold shower then had breakfast at the hotel's dining area. went back to my hotel room, a good friend brought me my lunch, then my family went to my hotel room to wish me good luck. a few more law school friends also dropped by to wish me well for the first bar sunday.
i left my stuff at the hotel's receptionist area then walked to la salle. i surrended my cellphones at the guard station then started looking for my room assignment (felt like a high school student looking for my class section). i was assigned in the same room with two blockmates/law school friends. since we were the ones who didnt graduate on time, being in the same room with them was really good. its nice to have a familiar face during that time. made me think of our freshmen year and at the same time, brings some kind of comfort.
the bar exams started, i made my first memorable mistake. i used the box of pens that was a year old. so naturally, most, if not all of the pens had "stale" ink. after using five pens, i raised my hand and told the proctor that im going to get my other box of pens. when i got back to my seat, i thought that my seatmate probably thinks im some idiot. anyway, because of the ballpen incident, i didnt notice i skipped a page. the page that says "start at this page". that was my second memorable mistake. i noticed that i skipped that page when i was already halfway through the exam. crap! fortunately, i skipped the first item so all i had to do was make sure that my first answer was two pages long in order to make use of all the blank pages.
the rules for taking the bar exam are really strict. and i think that there's truth in the saying that poor penmanship contributes in failing the bar exams. my penmanship sucks. but i tried to improve it for months just for the bar exams.
Sunday, September 04, 2011
i was on a diet
by this time last year, i was doing some last minute reviewing. the first bar sunday for the 2010 bar exams fell on the 5th of september. so on september 4, 2010, i got to my hotel room by 2pm and started reviewing for the first bar exam sunday of my life.
i remember having an empty fridge in my hotel room. although i bought a big mac meal at mcdonalds beside la salle before going to the hotel (since im going to be doing some last minute preparations, i must feed myself first), i didnt eat any other other food other than the meals i bought outside the hotel (dinner). just a few days earlier, i was asking my lawyer friends what i need to bring during the saturday before the bar sunday but my questions were more focused on review materials and stuff i need during the bar exam itself. food didnt really cross my mind.
so there i was in my hotel room, with a stack of readings and an empty fridge. fortunately, due to my tight budget, i was already used to not eating a lot. during the bar review, i lost a lot of pounds because i got used to studying without eating much. so when a few friends dropped by to check on me (actually, they checked the fridge), they volunteered to help me "scavenge" for food. they said that its essential to have food. so when we went to the hotel room of another friend who was also taking the bar exams, who also happened to have a lot food with her, i only asked for a couple of bottled water. one for saturday and one for sunday. that's all i need to survive the first bar sunday. my mind was really more focused on the exam and nothing else. i was that worried about the exams that my mind doesnt care about anything other than the exam. screw food. when my mind is really set on something, i start to have some tunnel vision and fail to see anything else. i wont even notice im hungry. well, i will notice it the moment i drain myself to the point i have no other choice but to faint. fortunately, that didnt happen.
i remember having an empty fridge in my hotel room. although i bought a big mac meal at mcdonalds beside la salle before going to the hotel (since im going to be doing some last minute preparations, i must feed myself first), i didnt eat any other other food other than the meals i bought outside the hotel (dinner). just a few days earlier, i was asking my lawyer friends what i need to bring during the saturday before the bar sunday but my questions were more focused on review materials and stuff i need during the bar exam itself. food didnt really cross my mind.
so there i was in my hotel room, with a stack of readings and an empty fridge. fortunately, due to my tight budget, i was already used to not eating a lot. during the bar review, i lost a lot of pounds because i got used to studying without eating much. so when a few friends dropped by to check on me (actually, they checked the fridge), they volunteered to help me "scavenge" for food. they said that its essential to have food. so when we went to the hotel room of another friend who was also taking the bar exams, who also happened to have a lot food with her, i only asked for a couple of bottled water. one for saturday and one for sunday. that's all i need to survive the first bar sunday. my mind was really more focused on the exam and nothing else. i was that worried about the exams that my mind doesnt care about anything other than the exam. screw food. when my mind is really set on something, i start to have some tunnel vision and fail to see anything else. i wont even notice im hungry. well, i will notice it the moment i drain myself to the point i have no other choice but to faint. fortunately, that didnt happen.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
last 2 hours and 8 minutes
the last day of august. finally. or is it too soon to write this? i mean, august still has 2 hours left to slap me in the face so hard it could break my neck.
anyway, compared to other augusts, this one was more passive. or maybe im just more vigilant? maybe im getting used to it? maybe its the rainy weather that made things tolerable?
the really unfortunate stuff that got to me were when the desktop PC crashed (based from my canvassing last weekend, i really am going to spend more than a month's salary for its replacement) and when my office pen broke (it broke while i was on the phone talking to an annoying client. and i was starting to get attached to that pen). there were also the unexpected expenses. there was a day when i was only planning to spend P35 for a korean ice cream but since it was not available and did not plan in case of its unavailability, as an alternative to the ice cream i craved (when i crave for something and i dont get it, i need something to replace it that would make me temporarily forget what im craving for), i ended up buying KFC's Tower burger and 8 pieces of california maki in a nearby japanese restaurant (and i was also planning to buy pizza! good thing my brother was there to stop me). and i had to buy snacks for my parents too since im going to eat the food i bought at home. so i spent around P500. from P35 to P500 (since last year, im blaming august for my sudden loss of control over myself. last year, i became addicted to SNSD and disrupted my study schedule. i dont regret it of course because somehow it made the bar exams bearable yet my sudden loss of discipline to study could have prevented me from passing the bar. fortunately, the bar exams were held on september so whatever i lost in august, my luck managed to make up for it during september). this is why there are times that i really need to have a plan. when i just do things, i really just do things.
so august 2011 was like carrying a bag full of bricks all month long while getting hit with small pebbles on my face. its annoying and burdensome yet tolerable. its not as terrible as the previous augusts. now im going to put down this bag of bricks and wear my lucky jacket by the time i wake up tomorrow, which hopefully, september brought.
my broken pen, which was given to me as a gift by my cousin and his fiancee (wife in less than 2 weeks) when i passed the bar exams (a simple gift and i really liked it). how can i clip it now?:
anyway, compared to other augusts, this one was more passive. or maybe im just more vigilant? maybe im getting used to it? maybe its the rainy weather that made things tolerable?
the really unfortunate stuff that got to me were when the desktop PC crashed (based from my canvassing last weekend, i really am going to spend more than a month's salary for its replacement) and when my office pen broke (it broke while i was on the phone talking to an annoying client. and i was starting to get attached to that pen). there were also the unexpected expenses. there was a day when i was only planning to spend P35 for a korean ice cream but since it was not available and did not plan in case of its unavailability, as an alternative to the ice cream i craved (when i crave for something and i dont get it, i need something to replace it that would make me temporarily forget what im craving for), i ended up buying KFC's Tower burger and 8 pieces of california maki in a nearby japanese restaurant (and i was also planning to buy pizza! good thing my brother was there to stop me). and i had to buy snacks for my parents too since im going to eat the food i bought at home. so i spent around P500. from P35 to P500 (since last year, im blaming august for my sudden loss of control over myself. last year, i became addicted to SNSD and disrupted my study schedule. i dont regret it of course because somehow it made the bar exams bearable yet my sudden loss of discipline to study could have prevented me from passing the bar. fortunately, the bar exams were held on september so whatever i lost in august, my luck managed to make up for it during september). this is why there are times that i really need to have a plan. when i just do things, i really just do things.
so august 2011 was like carrying a bag full of bricks all month long while getting hit with small pebbles on my face. its annoying and burdensome yet tolerable. its not as terrible as the previous augusts. now im going to put down this bag of bricks and wear my lucky jacket by the time i wake up tomorrow, which hopefully, september brought.
my broken pen, which was given to me as a gift by my cousin and his fiancee (wife in less than 2 weeks) when i passed the bar exams (a simple gift and i really liked it). how can i clip it now?:
Friday, August 26, 2011
i guess its really not that bad
i get depressed when i lose a lot of money unexpectedly. or i lose it on unplanned things. not that ive been victimized by another pickpocket but im about to lose more than a month's salary in the next few weeks.
i need to buy a new desktop PC for my siblings. our desktop PC crashed recently (no surprise there. its august) and im forced to realize the fact that its time to get a new desktop PC. its more than a decade old. well, in a way, it is. my parents bought it way back in 1998 (after i angrily complained about the typewriter. i was in 3rd year highschool and i was really pissed whenever i made mistakes while typing) and i had it upgraded back in 2003 but it still makes use of some of its old parts. the piecemeal upgrades ive been giving it after 2003 are mostly hard disk upgrades. i think it started with a seagate 2gig hardisk in 1998. crashed around 2001 or 2002 (thanks to napster! i was addicted to downloading songs that i filled the hard disk to the point it has no other option but to crash). so i bought a 20gig hard disk to replace it. then added another hard disk after 2003 (cant remember when exactly). last hard disk upgrade was back in March of 2009. our desktop PC is still running on Pentium 4 and Windows XP SP2. well, was still running until it crashed.
anyway, if i reformat it, it really wont be that useful. my siblings are already having a hard time using it. its current specs arent meant for photoshop and other graphic design related software. just months ago, my brother had to wait 10 hours before the desktop PC managed to save (just to save) a 2-3minute...video file (or whatever its called) he was working on. i cant upgrade this PC anymore since its parts are no longer compatible with the current hardware. just a few years ago, the repair guy said its already difficult (if not almost impossible) to get the kind of RAM our desktop PC uses.
since both my siblings are graphic designers or graphic artists or whatever they're called, i need to get a desktop PC with at least an Intel core i5 (so the laptop i bought for my sister earlier this year which makes use of an i3 is really barely enough). i dont think i can afford an i7. certainly i cant afford a Mac. i also need a motherboard (obviously), video card, a good amount of RAM and a better computer monitor (time to switch to LCD). i will also need to buy a new hard disk since the motherboard will make use of a SATA hard disk. all of our PCs hard disk are still IDE.
normally, i wouldnt be depressed to buy gadgets. but since i really dont have the money allocated for it, im not that enthusiastic. im already having difficulties saving up for a tablet. with this desktop PC purchase, i dont think i will be buying myself a tablet anytime soon (and i just tested a demo unit last tuesday! and was able to see the samsung galaxy tab 10.1). maybe its because im going to spend a lot and im not going to be the one who will be using it. i dont mind if im not going to use it as long as i wont be the one spending for it. i dont mind spending a lot as long as im the one who will be using it. or maybe because ive been bombarded with a lot of bad work-related news lately that even buying gadgets cant cheer me up.
i need to buy a new desktop PC for my siblings. our desktop PC crashed recently (no surprise there. its august) and im forced to realize the fact that its time to get a new desktop PC. its more than a decade old. well, in a way, it is. my parents bought it way back in 1998 (after i angrily complained about the typewriter. i was in 3rd year highschool and i was really pissed whenever i made mistakes while typing) and i had it upgraded back in 2003 but it still makes use of some of its old parts. the piecemeal upgrades ive been giving it after 2003 are mostly hard disk upgrades. i think it started with a seagate 2gig hardisk in 1998. crashed around 2001 or 2002 (thanks to napster! i was addicted to downloading songs that i filled the hard disk to the point it has no other option but to crash). so i bought a 20gig hard disk to replace it. then added another hard disk after 2003 (cant remember when exactly). last hard disk upgrade was back in March of 2009. our desktop PC is still running on Pentium 4 and Windows XP SP2. well, was still running until it crashed.
anyway, if i reformat it, it really wont be that useful. my siblings are already having a hard time using it. its current specs arent meant for photoshop and other graphic design related software. just months ago, my brother had to wait 10 hours before the desktop PC managed to save (just to save) a 2-3minute...video file (or whatever its called) he was working on. i cant upgrade this PC anymore since its parts are no longer compatible with the current hardware. just a few years ago, the repair guy said its already difficult (if not almost impossible) to get the kind of RAM our desktop PC uses.
since both my siblings are graphic designers or graphic artists or whatever they're called, i need to get a desktop PC with at least an Intel core i5 (so the laptop i bought for my sister earlier this year which makes use of an i3 is really barely enough). i dont think i can afford an i7. certainly i cant afford a Mac. i also need a motherboard (obviously), video card, a good amount of RAM and a better computer monitor (time to switch to LCD). i will also need to buy a new hard disk since the motherboard will make use of a SATA hard disk. all of our PCs hard disk are still IDE.
normally, i wouldnt be depressed to buy gadgets. but since i really dont have the money allocated for it, im not that enthusiastic. im already having difficulties saving up for a tablet. with this desktop PC purchase, i dont think i will be buying myself a tablet anytime soon (and i just tested a demo unit last tuesday! and was able to see the samsung galaxy tab 10.1). maybe its because im going to spend a lot and im not going to be the one who will be using it. i dont mind if im not going to use it as long as i wont be the one spending for it. i dont mind spending a lot as long as im the one who will be using it. or maybe because ive been bombarded with a lot of bad work-related news lately that even buying gadgets cant cheer me up.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
eight days. just eight more days. well, hopefully, just eight more days.
i had a hearing in Mandaluyong earlier today. its my third time to attend the hearing for this particular case. forgetting the fact it was august, i didnt expect the unusual number of MRT commuters at the MRT station i go to. it took me 40 minutes before i got the much needed MRT ride.
with my luck on my side, my normal commute is usually hassle free. during times when i need it (so this doesnt happen all the time but during "crucial" times), the public transport i need luckily appears right before me like it was something scripted or orchestrated. i step out of the door of our house, walk a few meters and by the time i reach the street where i wait for the jeepney, the jeepney i need exactly stops right in front of me the moment i reach the "jeepney stop". i ride it, then upon reaching my destination, like the MRT for example, i buy my ticket, pass through the ticket gate and the MRT train appears. by the time i reach the yellow line, the train has stopped, the door opens and there's an available seat. the commute goes smoothly and efficiently and as expected. thats why i consider it a science. my calculation for my commute time is usually off by only five minutes (so its plus minus five minutes from my estimate).
since its august, ordinary rules dont apply. well, ordinary rules that take luck into consideration dont apply. so i was late by 30 minutes for my court hearing. fortunately, and thank God for this one, my case was the second to the last case scheduled for today. so my case wasnt called until an hour later. but it was my first time to be late for a court hearing. and since i was late, i was rushing and flipping through my case file and texting our law office when i remembered that i need to take note of something (during this time, i didnt know what case number was being handled by the court so i was assuming that my case would be called anytime soon).
in the end, things turned out okay so im not complaining. its just that i was late for my court hearing and time was wasted. got tired because of it. ok, so i am complaining. but just a bit. and im expecting that tomorrow's court hearing might not go smoothly too.
with my luck on my side, my normal commute is usually hassle free. during times when i need it (so this doesnt happen all the time but during "crucial" times), the public transport i need luckily appears right before me like it was something scripted or orchestrated. i step out of the door of our house, walk a few meters and by the time i reach the street where i wait for the jeepney, the jeepney i need exactly stops right in front of me the moment i reach the "jeepney stop". i ride it, then upon reaching my destination, like the MRT for example, i buy my ticket, pass through the ticket gate and the MRT train appears. by the time i reach the yellow line, the train has stopped, the door opens and there's an available seat. the commute goes smoothly and efficiently and as expected. thats why i consider it a science. my calculation for my commute time is usually off by only five minutes (so its plus minus five minutes from my estimate).
since its august, ordinary rules dont apply. well, ordinary rules that take luck into consideration dont apply. so i was late by 30 minutes for my court hearing. fortunately, and thank God for this one, my case was the second to the last case scheduled for today. so my case wasnt called until an hour later. but it was my first time to be late for a court hearing. and since i was late, i was rushing and flipping through my case file and texting our law office when i remembered that i need to take note of something (during this time, i didnt know what case number was being handled by the court so i was assuming that my case would be called anytime soon).
in the end, things turned out okay so im not complaining. its just that i was late for my court hearing and time was wasted. got tired because of it. ok, so i am complaining. but just a bit. and im expecting that tomorrow's court hearing might not go smoothly too.
Monday, August 22, 2011
i need to develop better financial management skills
holy shitload batman! the samsung galaxy 10.1 is now available! well, if im not mistaken, its available for those who had their units reserved the moment the first batch comes in. i think it will be available in retail stores by next week.
crap. i dont have the money to buy one. actually....if i really, really want it, i have enough money available to get one but if something unexpected happens (like catching the dengue fever), im going to be draining my savings and putting myself back somewhere near my financial position last year. almost bankrupt.
since May, ive been having a lot of expected and unexpected expenses (in addition to paying some of the bills). i thought i wont be spending as much in June, july and august but, well, medical concerns arose and medication is really expensive. then there's my big appetite and my very picky tongue that favors expensive food (i guess this is why i volunteered to be the one in charge of buying groceries). plus my weekly trip to the cinemas to watch as much movies i can in my movie list for 2011 (right now, im not sure if i can manage to squeeze Cowboys and Aliens in my schedule this week).
going back to tablet talk, do i really need the 10 inch samsung tablet? or am i good with just the 7 inch model, the P1000? when i take a closer look, i prefer the 7inch model with its SMS support (so it can serve as the 3rd phone that i think i need) and card slot (thus allowing its memory to be expandable up to 32gig in addition to its internal storage). my only problem with it is its Android Froyo 2.2 OS. it would have been perfect if it had Android Honeycomb v3.0. it would be nice to have a bigger screen but im after portability and i think the 7inch screen would suffice to accomplish "emergency" office work (like urgent emails, last minute editing on pleadings or legal memos, urgent research work, etc.). i can go anywhere, anytime without much worries because i can do my work wherever i go. this is something a laptop was supposed to accomplish but with the current standards, its not portable enough. its not as convenient as having a tablet PC. its not that the laptop is going to be replaced by the tablet PC anytime soon (the same way the desktop PC is not necessarily obsolete. there are instances where the desktop PC is still necessary and a laptop can't possibly replace it anytime soon) but having both makes things more efficient and convenient.
the P1000 is good enough to address my office needs. and i dropped the kindle off my gadget list because it can serve as an ebook reader as well (but it cant be just a replacement to an ebook reader since the price gap is really big). it seems that i really dont have a good reason to go for the samsung galaxy tab 10.1 except that its larger and has an OS specifically made for tablets. the features that i want are in the P1000. hmm. did i just get excited for no reason? i hope there will be a further price drop in the P1000 so i can manage to buy one this september. but even if im aiming for a P1000, im still excited to see the new samsung galaxy tab 10.1 at retail outlets.
crap. i dont have the money to buy one. actually....if i really, really want it, i have enough money available to get one but if something unexpected happens (like catching the dengue fever), im going to be draining my savings and putting myself back somewhere near my financial position last year. almost bankrupt.
since May, ive been having a lot of expected and unexpected expenses (in addition to paying some of the bills). i thought i wont be spending as much in June, july and august but, well, medical concerns arose and medication is really expensive. then there's my big appetite and my very picky tongue that favors expensive food (i guess this is why i volunteered to be the one in charge of buying groceries). plus my weekly trip to the cinemas to watch as much movies i can in my movie list for 2011 (right now, im not sure if i can manage to squeeze Cowboys and Aliens in my schedule this week).
going back to tablet talk, do i really need the 10 inch samsung tablet? or am i good with just the 7 inch model, the P1000? when i take a closer look, i prefer the 7inch model with its SMS support (so it can serve as the 3rd phone that i think i need) and card slot (thus allowing its memory to be expandable up to 32gig in addition to its internal storage). my only problem with it is its Android Froyo 2.2 OS. it would have been perfect if it had Android Honeycomb v3.0. it would be nice to have a bigger screen but im after portability and i think the 7inch screen would suffice to accomplish "emergency" office work (like urgent emails, last minute editing on pleadings or legal memos, urgent research work, etc.). i can go anywhere, anytime without much worries because i can do my work wherever i go. this is something a laptop was supposed to accomplish but with the current standards, its not portable enough. its not as convenient as having a tablet PC. its not that the laptop is going to be replaced by the tablet PC anytime soon (the same way the desktop PC is not necessarily obsolete. there are instances where the desktop PC is still necessary and a laptop can't possibly replace it anytime soon) but having both makes things more efficient and convenient.
the P1000 is good enough to address my office needs. and i dropped the kindle off my gadget list because it can serve as an ebook reader as well (but it cant be just a replacement to an ebook reader since the price gap is really big). it seems that i really dont have a good reason to go for the samsung galaxy tab 10.1 except that its larger and has an OS specifically made for tablets. the features that i want are in the P1000. hmm. did i just get excited for no reason? i hope there will be a further price drop in the P1000 so i can manage to buy one this september. but even if im aiming for a P1000, im still excited to see the new samsung galaxy tab 10.1 at retail outlets.
Friday, August 19, 2011
its time to clean my room
a mouse just jumped right in front of me, behind my laptop (while i was thinking of something to write about. now i have a topic thanks to that mouse). it came from underneath the book shelf above my desk. i had to check the shelf if there's a hole in it. i didnt see any. well, i didnt really try to look for a hole, i just gave it a simple check if there's any easily seen hole in it. after checking lazily, i didnt see any
i havent cleaned my room for at least...2 years? im not quite sure. but it seems ever since i started preparing for the bar exams, i never cleaned my room. when i say clean my room, i mean cleaning every inch of it except the walls and ceiling. i try to get rid of all the stuff i wont be needing. so after every clean up i have plastic bags of trash and dirt.
during college, i even re-arrange my room whenever i clean it. i try to make it more "efficient". i organize things in a way that the stuff i frequently use are easy to get, and stuff i just keep and dont use are placed in that part of the room where it would be least intrusive to my daily activities (now that i think about it, the only thing i do in my room nowadays is sit in front of my laptop and sleep. i do a lot more things in my room back then)
as i grew older, i got busier and the less time i had to clean my room. cleaning my room takes at least one day. like i said, i try to cover every inch of it. i also re-organize my stuff. so it takes me one entire day usually, sometimes two days.
since i clean my room less, there were times it got really toxic that i had to really clean it up as soon as possible. as of now, the toxicity of my room is starting to go beyond the tolerable level. the mouse just made me realize that its been some time since i checked my stuff that are placed inside drawers and shelves. and now that i look at my room, i have piles of reading materials from law school that i dont really need anymore. actually, 1/3 of my room is made up of reading materials. really dusty reading materials. crap. 1/3 of my room is made up of paper.
im going to use the long weekend next week for this clean up task.
i havent cleaned my room for at least...2 years? im not quite sure. but it seems ever since i started preparing for the bar exams, i never cleaned my room. when i say clean my room, i mean cleaning every inch of it except the walls and ceiling. i try to get rid of all the stuff i wont be needing. so after every clean up i have plastic bags of trash and dirt.
during college, i even re-arrange my room whenever i clean it. i try to make it more "efficient". i organize things in a way that the stuff i frequently use are easy to get, and stuff i just keep and dont use are placed in that part of the room where it would be least intrusive to my daily activities (now that i think about it, the only thing i do in my room nowadays is sit in front of my laptop and sleep. i do a lot more things in my room back then)
as i grew older, i got busier and the less time i had to clean my room. cleaning my room takes at least one day. like i said, i try to cover every inch of it. i also re-organize my stuff. so it takes me one entire day usually, sometimes two days.
since i clean my room less, there were times it got really toxic that i had to really clean it up as soon as possible. as of now, the toxicity of my room is starting to go beyond the tolerable level. the mouse just made me realize that its been some time since i checked my stuff that are placed inside drawers and shelves. and now that i look at my room, i have piles of reading materials from law school that i dont really need anymore. actually, 1/3 of my room is made up of reading materials. really dusty reading materials. crap. 1/3 of my room is made up of paper.
im going to use the long weekend next week for this clean up task.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
i need to get new alarm tones
i have to change my customized cellphone alarm tone every other day or every three days. if my ears get used to the alarm, it develops some kind of "immunity" from the alarm tone and my ears fail to transmit the sound to my brain. the next thing i know, i already overslept.
i like sleeping too much that my self is trying to find ways not to disrupt my sleep. back in high school, i just had one alarm clock and its alarm tone couldnt be changed. that was enough. i didnt oversleep. well, i also had insomnia then (that lasted for months) so i barely slept when the alarm goes off or i didnt manage to sleep at all.
now, i use my two cellphones as alarm clocks and i need a specific ringtone that would wake me up. the ringtone must be something my ears will easily pick up and will penetrate my "dreamy state". even if my phones are just a foot away from my bed (sometimes, just a foot away from my ear), if its not a good alarm tone, i really wont hear it or my ears make sure the sound wouldnt register in my brain.
the role of my first cellphone is to wake me up a bit (so this has to be the "stronger" alarm tone). that way, i would be able to hear the second cellphone's alarm tone go off (this alarm tone is the one which somehow brings me to my senses). so every morning, im like warming up for the waking up stage with two alarm tones going off in succession, in at least 15 minute intervals (i usually go for 30mins). and i dont wake up when the two phones go off. i constantly reset it based from the level of work i have for the day. if im busy, i will reset the alarm to ring again in 10-15 minutes. if im not that busy, i could reset it to a full hour. the interesting part is, i dont hit the snooze button. so the cellphone alarm will keep ringing in intervals until i finally decide to wake or finally get tired of resetting it. so its like an ongoing "negotiation" every morning between my sleepy self and my persistent cellphones (to wake up now or wake up a little bit later). it also forces me think about my day ahead. although i already have an idea the night before how busy i will be for the day, my perspective changes once my subconscious self enters the picture. it asserts its decision making self and try to convince my conscious self (during my half-conscious state where the two meet) whether i need to wake up early or later, whether i can afford another hour of sleep or only 15 minutes more. this is how difficult it is for me to wake up in the morning.
the last time i didnt have problems waking up was way back in 2009. ever since, i always had problems getting out of the bed (an exception would be sleeping in places other than my bed. i easily wake up in new and unfamiliar environments). of course, this morning routine only applies when i dont have anything out of the ordinary planned for the day.
i like sleeping too much that my self is trying to find ways not to disrupt my sleep. back in high school, i just had one alarm clock and its alarm tone couldnt be changed. that was enough. i didnt oversleep. well, i also had insomnia then (that lasted for months) so i barely slept when the alarm goes off or i didnt manage to sleep at all.
now, i use my two cellphones as alarm clocks and i need a specific ringtone that would wake me up. the ringtone must be something my ears will easily pick up and will penetrate my "dreamy state". even if my phones are just a foot away from my bed (sometimes, just a foot away from my ear), if its not a good alarm tone, i really wont hear it or my ears make sure the sound wouldnt register in my brain.
the role of my first cellphone is to wake me up a bit (so this has to be the "stronger" alarm tone). that way, i would be able to hear the second cellphone's alarm tone go off (this alarm tone is the one which somehow brings me to my senses). so every morning, im like warming up for the waking up stage with two alarm tones going off in succession, in at least 15 minute intervals (i usually go for 30mins). and i dont wake up when the two phones go off. i constantly reset it based from the level of work i have for the day. if im busy, i will reset the alarm to ring again in 10-15 minutes. if im not that busy, i could reset it to a full hour. the interesting part is, i dont hit the snooze button. so the cellphone alarm will keep ringing in intervals until i finally decide to wake or finally get tired of resetting it. so its like an ongoing "negotiation" every morning between my sleepy self and my persistent cellphones (to wake up now or wake up a little bit later). it also forces me think about my day ahead. although i already have an idea the night before how busy i will be for the day, my perspective changes once my subconscious self enters the picture. it asserts its decision making self and try to convince my conscious self (during my half-conscious state where the two meet) whether i need to wake up early or later, whether i can afford another hour of sleep or only 15 minutes more. this is how difficult it is for me to wake up in the morning.
the last time i didnt have problems waking up was way back in 2009. ever since, i always had problems getting out of the bed (an exception would be sleeping in places other than my bed. i easily wake up in new and unfamiliar environments). of course, this morning routine only applies when i dont have anything out of the ordinary planned for the day.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
life is all messed up but we'll survive
i was riding the LRT on my way home. i came from the SC for the 2nd half of the oral arguments. i had my earphones on, as usual. i listen to my mp3 player whenever i take long commutes (and when i roam around the mall alone or buy groceries so i wont be pestered by salespeople). even if i had my mp3 player on full blast, i still cant avoid hearing the conversation of a couple in their late teens standing beside me.
they were talking stuff appropriate for their age. problems appropriate for their age. humor appropriate for their age. concerns appropriate for their age. made me think how simple life was. actually, what i told myself during that time was "their innocence is annoying". i was irritated by their world view or the way they perceive their world. maybe im just envious that they can still take life lightly. of course i can still do that, take life lightly, but with what ive seen, learned and experienced, its difficult to just ignore how things are. i mean, im a lawyer and i cant turn a blind eye on things my profession should properly address. we have duties and responsibilities like the doctors, engineers, etc. its not simply about earning a living but applying the knowledge weve gained even if it means not getting anything, monetary or in kind, in return.
back in college, i just took a course that would surely lead to a college degree and i really didnt give any thought on whether im going to apply it or what use i will have for it. im glad to realize that to a certain extent, i enjoyed my college life and didnt take things seriously. i dont even bother to figure out how i finished college. i just did. as for law school, i started taking it seriously when i was in my third year (and i stopped taking it seriously when i reached my fifth year).
going back to the kids (i comfortably refer to people ages 21 and below as kids), i hope they finish their studies and make the right decisions. life, aside from being unfair, will be harsh and difficult. i hope they dont end up needing the assistance of a lawyer.
they were talking stuff appropriate for their age. problems appropriate for their age. humor appropriate for their age. concerns appropriate for their age. made me think how simple life was. actually, what i told myself during that time was "their innocence is annoying". i was irritated by their world view or the way they perceive their world. maybe im just envious that they can still take life lightly. of course i can still do that, take life lightly, but with what ive seen, learned and experienced, its difficult to just ignore how things are. i mean, im a lawyer and i cant turn a blind eye on things my profession should properly address. we have duties and responsibilities like the doctors, engineers, etc. its not simply about earning a living but applying the knowledge weve gained even if it means not getting anything, monetary or in kind, in return.
back in college, i just took a course that would surely lead to a college degree and i really didnt give any thought on whether im going to apply it or what use i will have for it. im glad to realize that to a certain extent, i enjoyed my college life and didnt take things seriously. i dont even bother to figure out how i finished college. i just did. as for law school, i started taking it seriously when i was in my third year (and i stopped taking it seriously when i reached my fifth year).
going back to the kids (i comfortably refer to people ages 21 and below as kids), i hope they finish their studies and make the right decisions. life, aside from being unfair, will be harsh and difficult. i hope they dont end up needing the assistance of a lawyer.
Monday, August 15, 2011
is cut and paste manual reblogging?
Last Words of a SONE to SNSD
The following is a blog/diary entry by a terminally ill SONE in July 2011, just weeks before SNSD’s solo concerts.
To: Girls’ Generation
You will probably never know who I am..
And you will probably never be able to read this.. ^^
But there’s someone who always diligently reposts my words so perhaps there is a chance.
And you will probably never be able to read this.. ^^
But there’s someone who always diligently reposts my words so perhaps there is a chance.
I first saw you… September 2007… such a long time ago, right?
I bet you guys must also cringe at how you were back then…
Up until then, I had never been a fan of anything…
So how did I end up liking you so much?
I bet you guys must also cringe at how you were back then…
Up until then, I had never been a fan of anything…
So how did I end up liking you so much?
I became addicted to cigarettes despite having been in ill-health
and I came to like you guys so much that I began to regret this,
When the first SONE fanclub membership was open… I wondered what the point of going that far would be.
To this day, I regret not joining… and last year, I could not because I came down with a sudden illness…
I regret so much that I couldn’t be more active in supporting you.
I realised too late how amazing it is to hang out with people, the SONE, who loved you and thought dearly of you as much as I did…
And 2008, when joy became horror… I had nobody to console or to be consoled by
But I stoically waited for you. And when it passed… and I saw the teaser for ‘Gee’
I cried silently.
and I came to like you guys so much that I began to regret this,
When the first SONE fanclub membership was open… I wondered what the point of going that far would be.
To this day, I regret not joining… and last year, I could not because I came down with a sudden illness…
I regret so much that I couldn’t be more active in supporting you.
I realised too late how amazing it is to hang out with people, the SONE, who loved you and thought dearly of you as much as I did…
And 2008, when joy became horror… I had nobody to console or to be consoled by
But I stoically waited for you. And when it passed… and I saw the teaser for ‘Gee’
I cried silently.
Thank you.. Thank you so much.. Thank you for returning to our side..
But as you began your activities and I came to see you more often…
I began to forget to take care of my own body..
But as you began your activities and I came to see you more often…
I began to forget to take care of my own body..
This would have been the first, and last, solo concert that I could have attended..
I’m sorry.. sorry that I don’t even have the strength to attend them now.
I’m sorry.. sorry that I don’t even have the strength to attend them now.
From the beginning to the end… I love you all… I wanted to see you…
I have never said “Right now, it’s Girls’ Generation” to you…
And so from now on, as long as my eyes are open and I still breathe, I will keep regretting…
I have never said “Right now, it’s Girls’ Generation” to you…
And so from now on, as long as my eyes are open and I still breathe, I will keep regretting…
I am not sad that I may have to go to America…
You guys are really famous now… no matter where I go, I can still hear news about you.
You guys are really famous now… no matter where I go, I can still hear news about you.
To you… I am just one of the hundreds of thousands of SONE…
In a concert arena, I am just one of the hundreds of SONE chanting for you…
On your birthday, I’m just one of the the hundreds of SONE writing letters to you…
In a concert arena, I am just one of the hundreds of SONE chanting for you…
On your birthday, I’m just one of the the hundreds of SONE writing letters to you…
Despite all that, I still like it all…
Because I feel your love…
I feel myself thinking so dearly of you, loving you…
Have I ever been a fan of anything this much in my life?
In the precious little time I have left, will I stop being this much of a fan ?
I don’t think so.
Because I feel your love…
I feel myself thinking so dearly of you, loving you…
Have I ever been a fan of anything this much in my life?
In the precious little time I have left, will I stop being this much of a fan ?
I don’t think so.
You know, even if I’m just one of
Hundreds of thousands… hundreds… I don’t mind.
SONE who say “I love you all forever”…
These really are the amazing people…
I don’t know if anyone else will see me like this, too…
But however I appear… but SNSD! You… all you need to know is this:
No matter where you are, no mater what you do…
We will be cheering you on.
Congratulations on your second solo concert… and I hope that you will stay healthy this year, too.
Hundreds of thousands… hundreds… I don’t mind.
SONE who say “I love you all forever”…
These really are the amazing people…
I don’t know if anyone else will see me like this, too…
But however I appear… but SNSD! You… all you need to know is this:
No matter where you are, no mater what you do…
We will be cheering you on.
Congratulations on your second solo concert… and I hope that you will stay healthy this year, too.
From,
a SONE among hundreds of thousands
Source: 내사랑단신님. (bestiz)
————-
This person successfully got the tickets to the concert, but was unable to attend. This was because they had to go to America on July 23rd for a last-chance medical treatment, with the SONE saying that this may be the end of the road.
We have not heard from them since.
I have been asked to spread this as wide as possible.
K-SONE are doing their part and spreading this post… so that SNSD can read the final words of a person who loved them so dearly and fulfill the dying wishes of a fellow SONE.
credits: bestiz, oniontaker@soshified.com, imwhywhy@twitter, dan4413jwfJUH@soshified.com, http://snsdkorean.com/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)