i made my first embarrassing court appearance earlier today. the judge really made me look i didnt know what i was doing. i looked so bad that i was honestly waiting for the judge to say to my client to replace me with a more competent counsel. it was a big miscommunication with my client and im to blame. i should have been more cautious. i relied too quickly on what was given to me and acted on it without giving it some more thought.
well, i am a new lawyer (im just two days away from being officially a lawyer for one full month). but thats not really an excuse when i already had a limited law practice for one year and a half. ive attended court hearings before and everything went fine in most, if not all, of my previous court appearances. i even won a case already. sort of. im the one that conducted the direct examination for a particular case, with not much opposition. the only way the court will not rule in my favor is if the judge was heartless. so there's still a slight chance of losing. anyway, this is the first time ive handled a case under a specific and special field of law practice. so, in effect, its my first time. but still, i cant let myself have that excuse.
people would say im being hard on myself. right after the embarrassing moment, my client was in effect consoling me, telling me its all right. thats how bad i took it. i guess my state was like a straight A student who received his first D. im no straight A student, and ive done a lot of disappointing things but i was really shocked with what transpired during today's hearing. i admit i was not really prepared but again, its no excuse. i know i could have done more. i could have served my client better. i know im better than what i showed earlier. i guess its a wake up call for me to take this lawyering seriously. most people think im the serious type but thats really just form. inside, i take most things lightly. its really burdensome to take things seriously.
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