its been a couple years since Michael Jackson died and i think i havent posted any blog entry about him. when i learned about his death, i was working for an NGO and i just heard it from an officemate. i didnt bother to know the details nor was i really surprised that he died. i didnt really care about the guy anymore so i wasnt that interested. i just thought, he's dead. so what? but i told myself then that i had to write an entry about him. he was my idol when i was a kid so he means something. or used to mean something.
what made me like MJ was his dance moves. i used to like to dance. i still think im good at it and can dance better than an average person (although im not sure if i look good doing it given my height. sometimes, my height makes me look awkward when i do stuff done by people with average height). anyway, i liked his songs too. in fact, the second cassette tape i owned was his Dangerous album (which i played in my walkman). i also contemplated buying the HIStory: Past, Present and Future, book I album but i found it too expensive. i was just a grade school student with a P20 allowance.
my mother didnt like him and discouraged me from idolizing MJ. ever since he started becoming white, he was just too weird and creepy. but i didnt care then. i liked him for his dance moves which i tried to copy. i copied it a lot that i became a choreographer for my grade school batch in one of our batch presentations. that was an ego boost. our class adviser was asking who could do the choreography for the MJ song and i was recommended by my classmates.
by the time i reached high school, i stopped liking pop music. well, not really. i still liked pop music as long as it was sung by a hot female or a group of hotties (i remember when i was in fourth year high school, i was thinking hard whether to buy the red hot chili peppers album or the album of a pretty spanish pop singer. i chose the latter). since then, i just stopped liking MJ. i noticed he released a few more singles over the years and maybe a couple of albums but i just didnt care anymore. i guess when a part of me died in high school, the part of me that was hyperactive, talkative, cheerful and liked to dance, i just stopped caring about stuff that i really loved when i was a kid. actually, i have a theory why i "died", why i dropped everything i liked before, why i stopped being happy. there's no way to test the theory at the moment. point is, im dead or the part of me that is alive is locked inside (and i have a theory how to revive that part of me. i just dont want to test it). here i am trying to write an entry about this guy that i think influenced me a lot when i was a kid but i really dont care about him anymore. its from a happy childhood which is a thing of the past.
so there you go. after a couple of years, i finally wrote an MJ entry. im not really obligated to write it but its something that i need to flush out of my mind. whenever i hear an MJ song, i remind myself to write an entry. its like a burdensome assignment that i want to get rid of. if yukie nakama died, i would probably write an entry much sooner and much better than this one. i dont know. i still acknowledge that MJ is a great performer and truly a pop icon and i really did idolize him. its just that over the years, ive changed a lot and much as i want to write something good about the king of pop, i just cant simply because im not the same person as i was before. it just so happens there's a voice in my head nagging me to write something about the dead guy. i guess the better thing to do is post a video that somehow pays tribute to him.
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