tragic third week of july

three dead relatives in 4 days. my father's brother died last wednesday (stroke), my father's cousin died last thursday (heart attack), and my second cousin on my father's side died last saturday (car accident).

i was supposed to go to catanduanes tonight to attend my uncle's wake but i really cant leave my work. even if im done with the important pleading (submitted it today), new stuff keeps cropping up and i still havent handled my work related "to do" backlog.

i managed to go to my other uncle's wake last saturday night. little did we know then that in a few hours, my second cousin will figure in a tragic car accident. i can still remember his father greeting me cheerfully when i went to our relative's wake and saying goodbye to me as i was about to leave. he even apologized to me for not being able to go to my thanksgiving party. he was absolutely clueless of the tragic news he was going to receive in a few hours that saturday night. i dont know the details yet but i can imagine him coming home from his cousin's wake to find out one of his sons is dead. its really tragic. i can discuss this stuff like this because im not really close to my relatives but i do consider them as family.

my paternal clan unexpectedly became busy attending wakes of relatives. it also makes my parents extremely worried with death lurking in our family in this manner. my father keeps calling from catanduanes to check if were safe. i dont think they have to worry about me. if my sense of foresight is as good as i think it is, there's nothing to worry about me for now. sure i can die anytime because of a heart attack or a stroke but i think dying for being at the wrong place at the wrong time (like being in a 7-11 store when robbers suddenly decide to rob the store and recklessly shoot customers) is more probable at this point of my life than health reasons. the most harm my health can give me right now is pain and discomfort (which is what it has been doing for quite some time now). i think a freak accident is a more probable cause of death too. what im trying to say is, given my current way of life, its very unlikely for me to die of common causes of death (vehicular accidents, fatal health stuff, etc.).

if life would like to try to be funny, it would contradict me and im going to die in my sleep and this would be my last blog post. the good thing about it is, i dont have to go to work. the bad thing about it is...if i just knew, i would have used up my money on stuff and didnt save any. but i dont think im going to worry about that when im dead. but if i do die now or in the near future, at least im back on the path i once took where i dont have regrets. or at least i think im back to having some sense of contentment.