There are days when i forget im a lawyer. Today isnt one of those days. Lately, work matters have been really, really stressful. Lately means more or less a month. And stressful not because of the load but because of the uncertainty of being able to transfer to another employer. I've informed my current office as early as October 2012 that I'm planning to transfer to a government office. Up until today, that has not happened. To make things worse, our associate lawyer resigned last month, leaving behind the entire law office to me.
What's driving me nuts is that I'm in a situation where its hard to make promises to clients. That I cant promise that I'm going to be there for them until their cases end. For a person who never breaks a promise, its difficult for me to say that "I will do my best but I have to inform you now that I might leave the law office any time so I can only commit to the next hearing date" or "I can only help you with the filing of your pleading given that my current status here as a lawyer is a bit uncertain". I know I shouldnt have made such comments but the thing is, I dont want to make a promise that I wont keep. Clients usually ask for a long term relationship with their lawyers. Its tiring to see that look of disappointment in my clients' eyes. Theyve consulted lawyers before and when they finally think they've seen someone they can rely on, someone they want to handle their case, someone who can help them for free, I cant really promise them anything. Some would say it's because deep inside I really care. I do. I will no longer deny that. That maybe, I do have a heart. But some friends say I need to think about myself too. If I'm going to give free legal service, might as well work for the government agency which provides it.
When I started lawyering, I didnt really mind doing it for free. I mean, I'm earning enough to feed myself with good food, provide food for my family, pay bills and have some extra income for miscellaneous stuff. Now, I realized, the future isnt really as simple as the present. And I'm somone who is always prepared for whatever the future brings. Damn it foresight, dont fail me now.
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