i think its some kind of withdrawal symptom

my mind's messed up for the last three days. im not thinking straight. it cant be possibly due to the cold i currently have. its been a week since i last jogged so im thinking might be some withdrawal symptom but i havent really done it for so long for me to become dependent on it. another possibility is that the "loosening up" process is starting to get to me (which is too soon based on my calculations)

my brain is really fucked up right now. just a while ago i thought for a split second i saw a big black rat in our kitchen but a split second later, i saw its just our frying pan placed upside down. my brain forgot to send the realization to my arms so out of my entire body, only my two arms jerked in surprise. my face didnt even register a reaction because my brain was able to send the realization just in time before it makes one. crap. im having hallucinations. i usually have this when im tired as fuck (like the time when i thought a garbage bag on the street was a sleeping dog. thats not too farfetched. or the time i initially thought the fire hydrant was some kid. again, its likely to happen when one is extremely exhausted).

right now, im not that tired. well, physically i am because i had an argument with myself earlier and i ended up craving for mexican food (i was wondering where to eat after i leave the office and after minutes of debating, i gave in to mexican food just to end the thought process). i wanted chimichangas because i saw shrek on cable yesterday (one of the characters had chimichangas. thats how easily influenced i am by random things) so i thought i better go to mexicali. since my brain is fucked up, i ended up in Taco Bell gateway (when taco bell trinoma is nearer). i ended up feeling i was carrying a large rock in my bag when i got home because of all the commuting and having a cold really makes me physically weak.

the incident a while ago reminded me of a statement made by a famous jesuit professor in my alma mater. one always thinks before he acts. or something to that effect. i said to my blockmate, thats nonsense. i ended up in cubao without thinking. i dont know why im there and i merely assumed how i got there. i was on autopilot. actually, when i realized then that i was in cubao, i just went home because i was really clueless why i went there in the first place. ive done a lot of stupid and random things. doing shitty stuff like the old times at this point in time would be the worst idea ever.