detox just to retox

ive been putting off having a healthier lifestyle for years. its just so much effort and im the type who spends more effort trying to find ways in doing things with less effort but not necessarily short cuts (something like the "one time, big time" philosophy or the "great exertion for making the constitution"). and living a healthier lifestyle doesnt seem to have that kind of less effort. one needs to really do it consistently over a certain period of time.

anyway, its been a month since ive been contemplating to live a healthier lifestyle. so im starting to be more convinced that this isnt just a phase and that i might be really serious about it. as with most of my undertakings, i try to make sure its not going to be a waste of my effort. this reminds me of a "tristanism" where its better to put things off for tomorrow. life is unsure and death can come at night while one sleeps. due to this possibility and lingering uncertainty of waking up the day after, its better to do one's work for tomorrow if it can wait because it would be a waste of effort to finish it early and die during the night. imagine spending one's remaining moments working instead of relaxing. i honestly believed in this back in college. some would say its a crammer's excuse but it really makes sense. if i finish stuff early and i died before the deadline of the work, i wasted my time working because the work i finished wouldnt matter anymore when im dead. if i died with some unfinished work, i think its better because i think its a time well spent relaxing or spent enjoying the remaining moments of one's life (of course, like most things in life, one needs to strike a balance, the never ending "juggling act")

going back, im really starting to be very mindful of having a healthier lifestyle. i dont smoke (well, my last stick was earlier this year and it didnt bring back the habit. so up until today, i only smoked not more than 5 cigarette sticks this year), i substantially reduced my alcohol intake (in every instance of drinking session, i only consume not more than 3 bottles of beer. its sad but lately i developed a strong dislike for beer. it started last year), im currently cutting down my pork consumption, less carbonated drinks, more water, less fast food (im the type who eats fast food on a daily basis. right now, i would consider it a success to have eaten only three quarter pounders and twister fries last month), starting to eat veggies from time to time (i really dont like fish and veggies) and i dont sleep for more than 8 hours. im aiming for an average of seven hours of sleep which i partially accomplished. earlier last month, i was able to establish a nice sleeping pattern. i go to sleep by 12 midnight, wakeup around 7-730. unfortunately, i broke that pattern and started sleeping around 3:30 to 4:30 and i wake up at 8am. so now, my scalp and my left chin are filled with pimples and i cant stop falling asleep in the office by 10am. and im also consuming less coffee and more green tea. not sure if milk tea is good but i crave for it from time to time.

i really find living a healthier lifestyle boring and annoying. but for some strange reason, im strongly persuading myself to do it. this is usually a new year's resolution but i keep telling myself not to wait. a new year is a man-made fiction so there's really no point waiting for two more months. so this month, im aiming to focus on the healthy foods im going to take (because last month was more on avoiding the bad stuff) and the possibility of increased physical activity (something i really want to do but too lazy to do it because its really a lot of effort). but even with no physical activity, im amazed that i managed to stay agile and flexible, meaning my coordination is still very good and my stiffness is more apparent than real. an officemate said that i walk briskly, with a straight posture, like a PMA cadet (which made me think whether i should revert to my old flat top haircut. the white side wall is too much).

i dont know why i have this...urge (well, not really urge but something close to it) to live a healthier lifestyle. i dont like it but like some things i do, i do it because i feel compelled to do it.