finally got me self a sony playstation 3! its been years since i played a video game through a video game console. my very first video game console (which i didnt really own since i did not buy it with my own money) was a PS one. i got it when i was already a freshman in college. i started losing interest in it when the PS2 was released and my cousin bought one. playing games with the PS one doesnt feel as exciting after experiencing PS2.
and now, i have my own PS3. one my major purchases since i became a laywer (the first one was a lenovo laptop which was not for me). im old but not too old for video games. you cant be too old for video games. well, in a few years, my generation will find out if there's such a thing as being too old for video games. video games have changed ever since the 1970s (when the first generation of video game consoles were born).
anyway, i bought it on a friday night, almost three weeks ago. i came home itching to buy it. i was planning on buying one ever since i passed the bar (as a reward for myself) but i cant decide when. almost everyday i kept telling my siblings im going to buy myself a PS3. i cant just buy it because there are a lot of other important things i should be spending my money on (although i do have enough money to buy one, still, i need to prioritize the necessary expenses). also, i have work so when i do buy one, i must have time to play it so i can test it well. but on that particular friday night, i just cant bear it any longer. i just had to buy it. so i did what nike tells people to do. just do it. and i did.
i remember i got home around 8:30 that night. i just had a very busy week. and i thought, a PS3 would be something nice to have that weekend. so i rushed to the mall, got there around 9pm. i still have an hour before it closes. i have been canvassing for weeks, so i already know which shop to go to. i went to the shop, asked for the price of the console, additional controller, HDMI cable (i need to have an HDMI cable. what's the point of getting a PS3 if i wont be able to use its HDMI slot and upscaling abilities) and a couple of games. i asked the salesperson to add it all up and i will just go to the nearest ATM to get the money (i try not to carry any money with me when i commute). 20 minutes later, i was paying for the console and the other stuff. holy crap. finally, i have a PS3 (dropped by the nearest ministop first before heading home because i havent eaten my dinner).
i didnt buy it out of impulse (although it appears that way). it was just a question of when. ive been doing my research on which video game console to buy and the PS3 came out on top (and the most expensive). its not simply a video game console like the PS one. its also a Blu-ray player. it also has a large hard disk capacity (320 gig) where i can store pics, music and videos. i dont intend to use it to play music or view pictures. but what really convinced me to buy a PS3 (aside from the video games of course) is that it can play .avi and .mp4 video format. when i learned that i can play and store my downloaded videos in it, i knew its going to be worth my money. i can play games and watch shows i like (and if i eventually decide i want to play non-sedentary video games like the games available on Wii, i can buy its Playstation equivalent, the Playstation Move). the only thing i hate is its internet browser. it sucks. it would have been perfect if its browser was as good as the ones in ordinary computers.
now i can strike the PS3 off my list of tech stuff to buy this year. time to save up for the next gadget. the thanksgiving dinner was...financially draining. if not for that dinner i could have bought myself a really nice digicam and a kindle. but the latter can wait. actually, its not even that necessary. i dont even have to buy it this year.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
its only been a month? felt like half a year
officially a lawyer for one full month. i signed the Roll of Attorneys last April 18 (the bar exam results were released last March 17). the last act before one becomes a full fledged member of the Philippine bar. one year ago, i told a friend that i can only relax the moment i sign the rolls. not until that moment, i wont be satisfied with just passing the bar exams. i mean, anything could happen. i could die in an accident before April 18. in that case, i died as a law graduate and a bar exam passer, not a lawyer. and now, a month has passed since i signed the rolls. i still cant fully relax.
being a new lawyer is really tiring. i dont think its just the work that drains me. im still in an adjustment stage. there's a lot of things i dont know. the stuff they teach in law school are just the simple things. the bar exams only ask basic questions. actual law practice is intellectually challenging. i like it of course but there's really no time to immerse in it. there are deadlines to meet, clients to talk to and other stuff to be done. its like learning with a time limit. i cant take my time in thinking and formulating strategies. there are a handful of cases that need attention in a given week. multitasking is not necessarily a must but it would be really, really useful. i know that this is how things are supposed to be since im just starting. over time, things will become routinary. with every case, with every experience i gain, eventually i can handle a number of cases with ease and finish it without much thought.
one problem i have with lawyering is how i can make it "my way". its a bit shallow but its unavoidable too. im not a flashy dresser. im not a smooth talker. i hate talking. well, i prefer not to talk most of the time. but i have to at least be "lawyerly" or conduct myself like one. a few weeks ago, i wanted to buy a leather bag but im backpack type of guy. i go to court wearing a dark barong with a backpack. thats how i do it. but the leather bag really looks nice. and it obviously goes well with court attire. but thats just not me. ever since i was in grade II, i always used a backpack. the only time i dont use a backpack is when i use my laptop bags. so i thought, im going to buy a leather laptop bag. if there's such a thing. stuff like this clutter my brain. its nonsense but the character i play has always been something i really take care of. and i digressed.
i was asked if lawyering is awesome. it is. but right now, i cant enjoy it. time isnt on my side. not yet. im still adjusting how i can keep up with the pace.
being a new lawyer is really tiring. i dont think its just the work that drains me. im still in an adjustment stage. there's a lot of things i dont know. the stuff they teach in law school are just the simple things. the bar exams only ask basic questions. actual law practice is intellectually challenging. i like it of course but there's really no time to immerse in it. there are deadlines to meet, clients to talk to and other stuff to be done. its like learning with a time limit. i cant take my time in thinking and formulating strategies. there are a handful of cases that need attention in a given week. multitasking is not necessarily a must but it would be really, really useful. i know that this is how things are supposed to be since im just starting. over time, things will become routinary. with every case, with every experience i gain, eventually i can handle a number of cases with ease and finish it without much thought.
one problem i have with lawyering is how i can make it "my way". its a bit shallow but its unavoidable too. im not a flashy dresser. im not a smooth talker. i hate talking. well, i prefer not to talk most of the time. but i have to at least be "lawyerly" or conduct myself like one. a few weeks ago, i wanted to buy a leather bag but im backpack type of guy. i go to court wearing a dark barong with a backpack. thats how i do it. but the leather bag really looks nice. and it obviously goes well with court attire. but thats just not me. ever since i was in grade II, i always used a backpack. the only time i dont use a backpack is when i use my laptop bags. so i thought, im going to buy a leather laptop bag. if there's such a thing. stuff like this clutter my brain. its nonsense but the character i play has always been something i really take care of. and i digressed.
i was asked if lawyering is awesome. it is. but right now, i cant enjoy it. time isnt on my side. not yet. im still adjusting how i can keep up with the pace.
Monday, May 16, 2011
i hate wake up calls
i made my first embarrassing court appearance earlier today. the judge really made me look i didnt know what i was doing. i looked so bad that i was honestly waiting for the judge to say to my client to replace me with a more competent counsel. it was a big miscommunication with my client and im to blame. i should have been more cautious. i relied too quickly on what was given to me and acted on it without giving it some more thought.
well, i am a new lawyer (im just two days away from being officially a lawyer for one full month). but thats not really an excuse when i already had a limited law practice for one year and a half. ive attended court hearings before and everything went fine in most, if not all, of my previous court appearances. i even won a case already. sort of. im the one that conducted the direct examination for a particular case, with not much opposition. the only way the court will not rule in my favor is if the judge was heartless. so there's still a slight chance of losing. anyway, this is the first time ive handled a case under a specific and special field of law practice. so, in effect, its my first time. but still, i cant let myself have that excuse.
people would say im being hard on myself. right after the embarrassing moment, my client was in effect consoling me, telling me its all right. thats how bad i took it. i guess my state was like a straight A student who received his first D. im no straight A student, and ive done a lot of disappointing things but i was really shocked with what transpired during today's hearing. i admit i was not really prepared but again, its no excuse. i know i could have done more. i could have served my client better. i know im better than what i showed earlier. i guess its a wake up call for me to take this lawyering seriously. most people think im the serious type but thats really just form. inside, i take most things lightly. its really burdensome to take things seriously.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
I know the How and I know the Why
slow day at work today so i looked for some books online and decided to read Orwell's 1984. cant believe i havent read this. its nice i can now read non-law books. i even reserved a box set of Larsson's Millenium Series last Sunday (i just want the paperback version and not the expensive hardbound box set). when i saw on TV that the Swedish version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was released last March 30 on select local theaters, i immediately went to the bookstore to get myself a copy of the trilogy because i dont want to watch it until ive read the book.
Some excerpts from 1984 on power, truth and reality:
There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad.
Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing - O'Brien
"...if you want to keep a secret you must also hide it from yourself. You must know all the while that it is there, but until it is needed you must never let it emerge into your consciousness in any shape that could be given a name."
Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing - O'Brien
"...if you want to keep a secret you must also hide it from yourself. You must know all the while that it is there, but until it is needed you must never let it emerge into your consciousness in any shape that could be given a name."
Doublethink:
The power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them....To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them, to forget any fact that has become inconvenient, and then, when it becomes necessary again, to draw it back from oblivion for just so long as it is needed, to deny the existence of objective reality and all the while to take account of the reality which one denies — all this is indispensably necessary. Even in using the word doublethink it is necessary to exercise doublethink. For by using the word one admits that one is tampering with reality; by a fresh act of doublethink one erases this knowledge; and so on indefinitely, with the lie always one leap ahead of the truth
We control matter because we control the mind. Reality is inside the skull. - O'Brien
Monday, April 04, 2011
tech stuff
my cousin just bought a kindle from someone who posted an ad in some online auction and shopping website. the price is really good and i really would like to buy one too so my cousin gave me the person's username and i found out she's also selling beats by Dr. Dre. damn it! i already have a list of gadgets im going to buy this year and even if i really want to, i cant let that list grow much longer (for this year at least). so i will have to end that list with beats and kindle. so self-control, you have an additional work to do.
now that i can spend a little more compared to before, i really need to control my spending. last weekend, i just went shopping for "court clothing" (my feet still hurts because of all the walking and looking for stores that has my size. i didnt know shopping can be torture. the shopping im familiar with is shopping for gadgets and buying groceries. i dont recall my feet hurting for days after shopping for tech stuff and groceries). about 2 weeks earlier, i just bought my sister a laptop. i promised i was going to replace it ever since i took her laptop a few years ago and made it my own. so her Lenovo G4000 is now officially mine and i replaced it with a Lenovo Ideapad Z460 (i have brand loyalty). i was planning to get her a Lenovo G460 but when i went to the Lenovo store at SM North, they said they currently didnt have any stock and a new batch will arrive the day after (and i just asked them 3 days earlier whether they still have enough units available). since i really need the new laptop that day (because my brother needs to finish a school project and our desktop computer cant handle the software requirements. im overprotective of my laptop and i wont install any new software which im not familiar with or unsure of its compatibility with my laptop's OS. its OS is Windows Vista so i really dont feel secure. also, it was only a few days before mercury retrograde so i really had to buy it already. last time i bought a gadget during the retrograde, i had to return the item to be replaced and it took months before i got it back), i went to other computer shops to check their prices. a few shops later, i came across a shop that has a good offer for their Lenovo Ideapad Z460. thats how i ended up buying it instead of going for what i initially planned to buy.
so in less than a month, ive spent more than what i spent for the latter half of 2010. i really need to control my goddamn spending or im going to go bankrupt. at this age, i should be saving some money to buy my own house (actually, when i was 14, i thought i would have my own house by now! and a car! well, at least my 14 year old self was right that i would have my current mindset. i am the person i thought i would be at this age). so after the PS3, PSP and other gadgets, im going to save up to get me self a home sweet home.
now that i can spend a little more compared to before, i really need to control my spending. last weekend, i just went shopping for "court clothing" (my feet still hurts because of all the walking and looking for stores that has my size. i didnt know shopping can be torture. the shopping im familiar with is shopping for gadgets and buying groceries. i dont recall my feet hurting for days after shopping for tech stuff and groceries). about 2 weeks earlier, i just bought my sister a laptop. i promised i was going to replace it ever since i took her laptop a few years ago and made it my own. so her Lenovo G4000 is now officially mine and i replaced it with a Lenovo Ideapad Z460 (i have brand loyalty). i was planning to get her a Lenovo G460 but when i went to the Lenovo store at SM North, they said they currently didnt have any stock and a new batch will arrive the day after (and i just asked them 3 days earlier whether they still have enough units available). since i really need the new laptop that day (because my brother needs to finish a school project and our desktop computer cant handle the software requirements. im overprotective of my laptop and i wont install any new software which im not familiar with or unsure of its compatibility with my laptop's OS. its OS is Windows Vista so i really dont feel secure. also, it was only a few days before mercury retrograde so i really had to buy it already. last time i bought a gadget during the retrograde, i had to return the item to be replaced and it took months before i got it back), i went to other computer shops to check their prices. a few shops later, i came across a shop that has a good offer for their Lenovo Ideapad Z460. thats how i ended up buying it instead of going for what i initially planned to buy.
so in less than a month, ive spent more than what i spent for the latter half of 2010. i really need to control my goddamn spending or im going to go bankrupt. at this age, i should be saving some money to buy my own house (actually, when i was 14, i thought i would have my own house by now! and a car! well, at least my 14 year old self was right that i would have my current mindset. i am the person i thought i would be at this age). so after the PS3, PSP and other gadgets, im going to save up to get me self a home sweet home.
Oh, and one more thing.
"You can deny angels exist. Convince ourselves they can't be real. But they show up anyway, at strange places and at strange times. They can speak through any character we can imagine. They'll shout through demons if they have to. Daring us, challenging us to fight."- Sweet Pea
Just saw Sucker Punch last sunday. its not officially in my movie list for this year (i just mentioned it as a movie i might watch because of Jamie Chung). funny thing is, i think its the first movie ive seen this year (my memory is very selective lately). well, first one ive watched in a movie theater. first one and its not even in my list. its not bad. i would say its a bit good because i see it as something worth watching on a big screen. not necessarily a movie theater. something to watch on a big screen for free like a home theater system. the movie takes you on a enjoyable enough ride. the soundtrack's good too. or maybe the reason i found it enjoyable is because of the female cast. in any case, its definitely not bad for me (my siblings didnt like it. they said it lacks depth. well, maybe. i mean, i dont see what's wrong with Rebecca Black's Friday).
i really should have a print out of my movie list. i already missed the Green Hornet and the Rite. and a couple of movies in my list are currently showing in theaters. i really need to take this movie list seriously now that it seems the movie rental business seems to be on the decline. Video City Matalino permanently closed last month. i think the same thing happened to Video City SM North. where the hell will i rent DVDs now?
Just saw Sucker Punch last sunday. its not officially in my movie list for this year (i just mentioned it as a movie i might watch because of Jamie Chung). funny thing is, i think its the first movie ive seen this year (my memory is very selective lately). well, first one ive watched in a movie theater. first one and its not even in my list. its not bad. i would say its a bit good because i see it as something worth watching on a big screen. not necessarily a movie theater. something to watch on a big screen for free like a home theater system. the movie takes you on a enjoyable enough ride. the soundtrack's good too. or maybe the reason i found it enjoyable is because of the female cast. in any case, its definitely not bad for me (my siblings didnt like it. they said it lacks depth. well, maybe. i mean, i dont see what's wrong with Rebecca Black's Friday).
i really should have a print out of my movie list. i already missed the Green Hornet and the Rite. and a couple of movies in my list are currently showing in theaters. i really need to take this movie list seriously now that it seems the movie rental business seems to be on the decline. Video City Matalino permanently closed last month. i think the same thing happened to Video City SM North. where the hell will i rent DVDs now?
Thursday, March 31, 2011
one of the things i dont like on facebook
one of the things i really hate is an opinion that reeks of incompetence. wait...not incompetence but something quite like it. its an opinion that looks intelligent but its really not. in theory its plausible but in reality, its just downright stupid.
i read a status message on facebook yesterday. its an opinion of someone i dont know but upon checking his or her profile information, he or she is a member of the academe from a good educational institution. thats what really surprised me. i find it appalling that a person with such an educational background would make such an opinion. at first glance it seems like a good opinion but upon closer scrutiny, its really devoid of any basis (except that its reasonable. but that wont do anything to make an opinion increase its worth except to make it appear coherent). it was like a comment uttered when one's emotions are high. or a statement that was recklessly given. if that was the case...well, given his or her educational background...its still unacceptable. a political science major...or someone who takes political science seriously, would have doubts and try to verify the truthfulness of such statements (so this means the comment was a political one or at least involves politics). or at least make sure that its realistic enough (or based on existing circumstances, taking into account the various surrounding factors). i know its vague to discuss the opinion like this but im not the type that openly attacks other people's opinion. well, not yet. i have a self-imposed gag order and im just waiting for that period to expire. once that period expires, i would still have to assess if im capable of controlling my sharp tongue (whether i can limit my comments to what are necessary and not go overboard). if not, then i will have to assess whether i can risk voicing out my opinion (there's a lot of things i really want to say and no one will like it. i could end up like the person im criticizing right now. dishing out opinions that are worthless. sometimes, its really better to just shut up). the gag order period is meant to gain experience and adjust to the new environment im in. as usual, i do things systematically and treat myself as some sort of clinical subject for some research. sure it sucks the fun out of everything but well, im an addict for self-improvement through self-control.
anyway, everyone's entitled to their opinion but i just find it hard to accept opinions that are just so stupid (its as annoying as people who miss the goddamn point. give them hints and clues, and they just keep missing it. sometimes i wonder if im really the slow one as some of my friends suggest. or maybe my hints are too complicated to decipher?). i also hate it when they think they're absolutely right or their opinion is really as good as they think it is. sometimes i wonder if im this kind of person. but i dont think so. sure, im arrogant and stubborn so i might appear as someone who thinks my opinions are absolutely good but being the skeptic that i am, im also the first one who would attack my own opinions and try to contradict it with an opinion that would overturn it.
i read a status message on facebook yesterday. its an opinion of someone i dont know but upon checking his or her profile information, he or she is a member of the academe from a good educational institution. thats what really surprised me. i find it appalling that a person with such an educational background would make such an opinion. at first glance it seems like a good opinion but upon closer scrutiny, its really devoid of any basis (except that its reasonable. but that wont do anything to make an opinion increase its worth except to make it appear coherent). it was like a comment uttered when one's emotions are high. or a statement that was recklessly given. if that was the case...well, given his or her educational background...its still unacceptable. a political science major...or someone who takes political science seriously, would have doubts and try to verify the truthfulness of such statements (so this means the comment was a political one or at least involves politics). or at least make sure that its realistic enough (or based on existing circumstances, taking into account the various surrounding factors). i know its vague to discuss the opinion like this but im not the type that openly attacks other people's opinion. well, not yet. i have a self-imposed gag order and im just waiting for that period to expire. once that period expires, i would still have to assess if im capable of controlling my sharp tongue (whether i can limit my comments to what are necessary and not go overboard). if not, then i will have to assess whether i can risk voicing out my opinion (there's a lot of things i really want to say and no one will like it. i could end up like the person im criticizing right now. dishing out opinions that are worthless. sometimes, its really better to just shut up). the gag order period is meant to gain experience and adjust to the new environment im in. as usual, i do things systematically and treat myself as some sort of clinical subject for some research. sure it sucks the fun out of everything but well, im an addict for self-improvement through self-control.
anyway, everyone's entitled to their opinion but i just find it hard to accept opinions that are just so stupid (its as annoying as people who miss the goddamn point. give them hints and clues, and they just keep missing it. sometimes i wonder if im really the slow one as some of my friends suggest. or maybe my hints are too complicated to decipher?). i also hate it when they think they're absolutely right or their opinion is really as good as they think it is. sometimes i wonder if im this kind of person. but i dont think so. sure, im arrogant and stubborn so i might appear as someone who thinks my opinions are absolutely good but being the skeptic that i am, im also the first one who would attack my own opinions and try to contradict it with an opinion that would overturn it.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
loose bolt on a leash
last weekend, i had a discussion with a friend where she said that i like things done the way i want them with no deviations. if this is how i want it, i really mean this is how i want it. she made that comment after i pointed out that i have a plan that i need to follow.
i admit, i am serious and rigid when it comes to some things (actually, i think its most things now), especially matters that involve my future. i need to have a plan. i need to be prepared for everything. i wouldnt say thats how i naturally am because i wasnt like this before. before, i just do things mindlessly (and it was fun). therein lies the problem. i cant do that anymore. or i must not do that anymore.
having plans serve as my leash. it gives me control over myself. not full control but enough control to make sure i dont do stupid things 90% of the time (or so i would like to think). i need to restrain myself because my uninhibited self is really crazy and out of control. cant let myself run loose and go wild. some might say im paranoid but if people can just see what kind of thoughts run in my head, they would agree that i need restraint. i need to make sure i dont act on those thoughts. having a plan that i must strictly follow somehow gives me some peace of mind that im putting myself away from regrettable mistakes. during the bar review, my self-restraint diminished over time and midway through the review, i did something idiotic. so idiotic that i still cant forgive myself for allowing myself to do such a thing (i didnt follow my curse of foresight simply because my self-restraint was too weak to stop myself). ive got enough mistakes and problems ive done in the past. i cant let that list grow any longer. im still not done paying the price for those shit. given the grave mistakes and regrets ive done, the only way i can sleep at night is through my persona that doesnt care about anything at all. and this persona needs to be restrained too since obviously, if allowed to run loose, the least it can do is injure random people with every fit of rage (found out that im still a rageaholic. luckily, im alone in my room when i realized that, so no repeats of the injuries ive inflicted on others back when i was a high school student)
the only way i can relax is when im with someone who can control me. someone that i recognize as having some form of ascendancy over me. someone who can serve as my "cage". i can have more space roaming inside a cage than wearing a stupid leash. usually, a hot chick can control me but thats only temporary. its only a matter of time before i snap out of her hypnotic effect. so the "cage" isnt strong enough. there are only two people who are candidates that could serve as my "cage" (one has the status of "whereabouts unknown". the other is filed under the status "out of coverage area". there's a third one but her will isnt strong enough to really restrain me. thats why i decided to "discard" her. thats the only thing lacking with her. a strong will. if not for that, she would have been perfect, beyond the two current candidates. there could have been a fourth one but she went away before i could test if she's good enough). unfortunately for me, they're not interested. so i will have to settle with wearing a leash. i doubt another "cage" will come along. its rare to find a girl that i cant avoid following even if im fully aware im being controlled. actually, i even ask them to control me. thats why i havent found someone who is willing to put up with restraining me and make sure i behave.
right now, im starting to become reckless. my decisions are faulty and my reasoning doubtful. i need to have a more concrete plan in order to make sure i pull myself away from things i know will harm me in the future. so enough with the distractions. i need to address this problem head on. i guess, its time to wear a stronger leash.
i admit, i am serious and rigid when it comes to some things (actually, i think its most things now), especially matters that involve my future. i need to have a plan. i need to be prepared for everything. i wouldnt say thats how i naturally am because i wasnt like this before. before, i just do things mindlessly (and it was fun). therein lies the problem. i cant do that anymore. or i must not do that anymore.
having plans serve as my leash. it gives me control over myself. not full control but enough control to make sure i dont do stupid things 90% of the time (or so i would like to think). i need to restrain myself because my uninhibited self is really crazy and out of control. cant let myself run loose and go wild. some might say im paranoid but if people can just see what kind of thoughts run in my head, they would agree that i need restraint. i need to make sure i dont act on those thoughts. having a plan that i must strictly follow somehow gives me some peace of mind that im putting myself away from regrettable mistakes. during the bar review, my self-restraint diminished over time and midway through the review, i did something idiotic. so idiotic that i still cant forgive myself for allowing myself to do such a thing (i didnt follow my curse of foresight simply because my self-restraint was too weak to stop myself). ive got enough mistakes and problems ive done in the past. i cant let that list grow any longer. im still not done paying the price for those shit. given the grave mistakes and regrets ive done, the only way i can sleep at night is through my persona that doesnt care about anything at all. and this persona needs to be restrained too since obviously, if allowed to run loose, the least it can do is injure random people with every fit of rage (found out that im still a rageaholic. luckily, im alone in my room when i realized that, so no repeats of the injuries ive inflicted on others back when i was a high school student)
the only way i can relax is when im with someone who can control me. someone that i recognize as having some form of ascendancy over me. someone who can serve as my "cage". i can have more space roaming inside a cage than wearing a stupid leash. usually, a hot chick can control me but thats only temporary. its only a matter of time before i snap out of her hypnotic effect. so the "cage" isnt strong enough. there are only two people who are candidates that could serve as my "cage" (one has the status of "whereabouts unknown". the other is filed under the status "out of coverage area". there's a third one but her will isnt strong enough to really restrain me. thats why i decided to "discard" her. thats the only thing lacking with her. a strong will. if not for that, she would have been perfect, beyond the two current candidates. there could have been a fourth one but she went away before i could test if she's good enough). unfortunately for me, they're not interested. so i will have to settle with wearing a leash. i doubt another "cage" will come along. its rare to find a girl that i cant avoid following even if im fully aware im being controlled. actually, i even ask them to control me. thats why i havent found someone who is willing to put up with restraining me and make sure i behave.
right now, im starting to become reckless. my decisions are faulty and my reasoning doubtful. i need to have a more concrete plan in order to make sure i pull myself away from things i know will harm me in the future. so enough with the distractions. i need to address this problem head on. i guess, its time to wear a stronger leash.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
nine days
its been nine days since i passed the 2010 bar exams.
the waiting period was torture (the period from the day after the last bar exam until the day the exam results were released). no exaggeration whatsoever. i dont think other people would understand what we went through. im not saying the feeling is exclusive to bar examinees because its not. what im trying to say is that its a feeling that cant be imagined by just anyone. working hard for years and knowing that one's career, one's future depends on that one exam. to fail it means to lose another year...at least. its also demoralizing for some. it also doesnt follow that taking it again would make the exam easier. the level of difficulty of the bar exam varies every year. passing it is a very big deal, especially for those who truly want to become lawyers.
taking the exam itself is also another torture. its draining mentally and physically. until now, my left hand hurts when i use it to write something down. i cant grip a pen in a certain way because it would send a sharp pain that radiates up to my left arm. thats how much effort it is to write down those answers. well, for me its an effort because im not the type who writes stuff down. i almost never take down notes during class. back in college, i always buy a new notebook but i rarely use more than 1/6 each semester. i managed to finish law school with only one notebook and i wasnt even able to use half of it. im really not a pen and paper guy. ever since i learned how to use a computer, i shifted to the electronic way of writing.
well, march 17 came. the day the results were to be released. two days prior, i got out of the office early and decided to drop by the nearby KFC to check the new Twister. while in line, i received a text message from a friend saying that the results were going to be released by the end of the week, either thursday or friday. after reading that message, fear just consumed me then and there. i wanted to sit down for a while but it was already my turn at the counter. fortunately, i already knew what i was going to order so i just had to switch to autopilot mode. i knew the routinary questions asked at the counter and i had my routinary answers, nods and polite smile for every rejected suggestion. when the transaction finished, i went to the nearest vacant seat i can find and just let the message sink in. part of me was also trying to "enjoy" the feeling since i rarely feel nervous. my palms were already sweaty when i managed to send a reply. by the time i got home, i tried to forget about the news because i really didnt want to think about it but it was impossible. its on the online news and people were also informing me about it.
thursday came. i tried to do the things i normally do on a thursday. so i went to work. my officemate was surprised that i came to work that day. she said most people would be somewhere else. well, im not most people. but i have to admit, my mind kept zoning out because as every minute passed, i got more worried so as some form of defense, my mind shuts down from time to time. by lunchtime, i was staring blankly into space. my officemates were already telling me to go home and sleep. but i just went to my office room, sat there and tried to distract myself with whatever online stuff i can find. by 4pm, i received a phone call from my cousin telling me its time to go to the launching of the worker's foundation. so i left the office, dropped by my cousin's house and then went to UP for the event. it was during this event that i learned that i passed. while seated inside the function hall, i received a phone call from a friend (the same friend that texted me two days earlier). he was the first one to inform me about it. i was happy of course. i couldnt believe it at first because i really felt my chances of passing was 50%. sure i was confident during and right after the bar exams but as months passed, my level of confidence diminished so by the time March came, i was so unsure on how things will be. i was happy for a few minutes. after that, i just felt relieved. i can finally move forward.
the waiting period was torture (the period from the day after the last bar exam until the day the exam results were released). no exaggeration whatsoever. i dont think other people would understand what we went through. im not saying the feeling is exclusive to bar examinees because its not. what im trying to say is that its a feeling that cant be imagined by just anyone. working hard for years and knowing that one's career, one's future depends on that one exam. to fail it means to lose another year...at least. its also demoralizing for some. it also doesnt follow that taking it again would make the exam easier. the level of difficulty of the bar exam varies every year. passing it is a very big deal, especially for those who truly want to become lawyers.
taking the exam itself is also another torture. its draining mentally and physically. until now, my left hand hurts when i use it to write something down. i cant grip a pen in a certain way because it would send a sharp pain that radiates up to my left arm. thats how much effort it is to write down those answers. well, for me its an effort because im not the type who writes stuff down. i almost never take down notes during class. back in college, i always buy a new notebook but i rarely use more than 1/6 each semester. i managed to finish law school with only one notebook and i wasnt even able to use half of it. im really not a pen and paper guy. ever since i learned how to use a computer, i shifted to the electronic way of writing.
well, march 17 came. the day the results were to be released. two days prior, i got out of the office early and decided to drop by the nearby KFC to check the new Twister. while in line, i received a text message from a friend saying that the results were going to be released by the end of the week, either thursday or friday. after reading that message, fear just consumed me then and there. i wanted to sit down for a while but it was already my turn at the counter. fortunately, i already knew what i was going to order so i just had to switch to autopilot mode. i knew the routinary questions asked at the counter and i had my routinary answers, nods and polite smile for every rejected suggestion. when the transaction finished, i went to the nearest vacant seat i can find and just let the message sink in. part of me was also trying to "enjoy" the feeling since i rarely feel nervous. my palms were already sweaty when i managed to send a reply. by the time i got home, i tried to forget about the news because i really didnt want to think about it but it was impossible. its on the online news and people were also informing me about it.
thursday came. i tried to do the things i normally do on a thursday. so i went to work. my officemate was surprised that i came to work that day. she said most people would be somewhere else. well, im not most people. but i have to admit, my mind kept zoning out because as every minute passed, i got more worried so as some form of defense, my mind shuts down from time to time. by lunchtime, i was staring blankly into space. my officemates were already telling me to go home and sleep. but i just went to my office room, sat there and tried to distract myself with whatever online stuff i can find. by 4pm, i received a phone call from my cousin telling me its time to go to the launching of the worker's foundation. so i left the office, dropped by my cousin's house and then went to UP for the event. it was during this event that i learned that i passed. while seated inside the function hall, i received a phone call from a friend (the same friend that texted me two days earlier). he was the first one to inform me about it. i was happy of course. i couldnt believe it at first because i really felt my chances of passing was 50%. sure i was confident during and right after the bar exams but as months passed, my level of confidence diminished so by the time March came, i was so unsure on how things will be. i was happy for a few minutes. after that, i just felt relieved. i can finally move forward.
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
time stopped today
well, my wristwatch stopped today. it stopped at exactly 9:25am (which was really 9:05 a.m. because its always 20 minutes ahead of "internet time"), not a second earlier, not a second later. i found out it stopped a few minutes before noon. and i remember the last time i checked it before it stopped. it was 9:05 a.m. (8:45am in "internet time")
im very mindful of time. i remember back in high school i told my friends i have a very good sense of time. to prove it, i said that i can tell them what time it is after a few minutes by just looking at a watch or clock just once (just to make a reference and serve as my starting point in calculating how much time has expired since i last looked at the clock). so i looked at the watch to find out what time it is and then we started having our normal conversation. then after a few minutes, one of them will disrupt the conversation and ask what time it is on the watch and i would quickly say the time correctly (i dont compute it in my head, i was just simply aware of how many minutes have transpired since the last time i looked at the watch). they did this for almost an hour, asking in different random intervals while we were talking about other stuff. and i said the time correctly in all instances. its not much of a feat but back then, i was happy to know that i have a good grasp of how much time has gone by even if i dont really focus on the time. its like im fully aware of how many seconds have passed or how many minutes have expired without giving it much thought. i cant do that now. when i start guessing the time, im usually off by five minutes. it just shows how much my sense of time has deteriorated over the years.
going back to my wrist watch, it was my graduation present when i finished high school. so its more than a decade old and this would be the third time i will replace its battery. the original battery lasted for more than half a decade. the second battery, the one that just ran out of juice today, took only three years. now im thinking if im going to get an original battery or just another cheap one. if im going to get an original battery, might as well have its scratched surface fixed. i remember where i scratched it. it was at the stairs of Ateneo SEC 1 back in 2001 (cant remember the month though). i remember how pissed i was because the scratch is really obvious. and im the type of guy who likes watches and clocks (aside from knives and gadgets). i try not to look at wrist watch stores so i can stay loyal to my wrist watch and not be tempted to replace it. ive been wearing a wrist watch ever since i was in grade school and i always broke it because i was a very active kid back then. my current wrist watch is the only watch that lasted this long and was able to keep up with me. and im a very demanding person so it means this watch has been through a lot. there was a time when i didnt take it off even when i go to sleep (its not until a person im sleeping with complained that i should not wear my watch while in bed). i dont take it off when i go to the beach (its water resistant up to 50 meters anyway and i have no plans of going that deep. people always tell me that i still have my watch on when im about to hit the water and i just reply that its ok).
anyway, since i wont be able to get a new battery anytime soon, my cellphones and laptop will have to fill that void until then.
im very mindful of time. i remember back in high school i told my friends i have a very good sense of time. to prove it, i said that i can tell them what time it is after a few minutes by just looking at a watch or clock just once (just to make a reference and serve as my starting point in calculating how much time has expired since i last looked at the clock). so i looked at the watch to find out what time it is and then we started having our normal conversation. then after a few minutes, one of them will disrupt the conversation and ask what time it is on the watch and i would quickly say the time correctly (i dont compute it in my head, i was just simply aware of how many minutes have transpired since the last time i looked at the watch). they did this for almost an hour, asking in different random intervals while we were talking about other stuff. and i said the time correctly in all instances. its not much of a feat but back then, i was happy to know that i have a good grasp of how much time has gone by even if i dont really focus on the time. its like im fully aware of how many seconds have passed or how many minutes have expired without giving it much thought. i cant do that now. when i start guessing the time, im usually off by five minutes. it just shows how much my sense of time has deteriorated over the years.
going back to my wrist watch, it was my graduation present when i finished high school. so its more than a decade old and this would be the third time i will replace its battery. the original battery lasted for more than half a decade. the second battery, the one that just ran out of juice today, took only three years. now im thinking if im going to get an original battery or just another cheap one. if im going to get an original battery, might as well have its scratched surface fixed. i remember where i scratched it. it was at the stairs of Ateneo SEC 1 back in 2001 (cant remember the month though). i remember how pissed i was because the scratch is really obvious. and im the type of guy who likes watches and clocks (aside from knives and gadgets). i try not to look at wrist watch stores so i can stay loyal to my wrist watch and not be tempted to replace it. ive been wearing a wrist watch ever since i was in grade school and i always broke it because i was a very active kid back then. my current wrist watch is the only watch that lasted this long and was able to keep up with me. and im a very demanding person so it means this watch has been through a lot. there was a time when i didnt take it off even when i go to sleep (its not until a person im sleeping with complained that i should not wear my watch while in bed). i dont take it off when i go to the beach (its water resistant up to 50 meters anyway and i have no plans of going that deep. people always tell me that i still have my watch on when im about to hit the water and i just reply that its ok).
anyway, since i wont be able to get a new battery anytime soon, my cellphones and laptop will have to fill that void until then.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
and im getting so high!
Saw this music vid in Arirang. or was it tvN? i already heard the song months ago but it was only a few days ago that i saw its music video. i think everything about this music vid is perfect. the song, the girl (especially the girl), the style of the vid. i just really like it. the song wasnt bad. that's why i remembered it but the music video is what really caught my attention. i think the video fits perfectly with the song. the music video reminds me of the euphoria one feels or the feeling of being consumed by euphoria. i also like the way Wikipedia defines euphoria (colloquially, its "an intense state of transcendent happiness combined with an overwhelming sense of contentment")
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
nothing continues to happen...and i dont mind
things have been routinary lately. i wake up, go to work, then go home. nothing much to write about. well, there's the baby python last friday. its unusual but its not really that interesting on my part.
i was working on something on my desk when i heard something move in a pile of case files on my left. when i looked at the source of the sound, i saw something shiny and white. at first i thought it was some big lizard's tail but then i wondered, how come its white? i dont know any common lizard that's as white as powder (and i doubt there's a rare specie lurking in my office room). and its not the albino kind of white (pinkish white). anyway, it disappeared and then seconds later, i saw the head of a mouse appear from underneath the case files, wrapped in a snake's body. a snake that's not white at all. maybe when i first saw it, the angle of the snake's body reflected the light from the room that's why it appeared white to me.
the mouse was still alive since it was squeaking but it was only a matter of seconds before the baby python squeezed the life out of it. thats when i realized it was a python and not a venomous snake because of the manner it killed its prey. at first i thought i would wait for it to finish its "brunch" but i decided to tell my officemate about it because it might finish eating without me noticing it and starts to slither away. when i informed them about it, they thought i was talking about a small snake the size of a worm (because i approached them and asked in a calm manner if they knew how to catch a snake. i didnt want to catch it because i dont know how to catch a python myself). they werent expecting a 1.5 foot baby python that can eat a mouse. well, ive had a bunch of pets before (and i used to have an extensive knowledge of animals and dinosaurs when i was in grade school. now, i just pretend i dont know much and let people debate by themselves. i dont want to be seen as an "animal expert" anymore because people dont really take the information seriously except as a "fun fact". i dont want to be like the "crazy person inside the bus" like Ted Mosby) so i dont get "excited" with animals, even the unusual kind. ive had dogs, budgies, freshwater aquarium fish (from arowanas to mollies), white mice, water snake, iguanas, mini-lobsters and turtles (and i always hit the encyclopedias and do some internet research on how to properly take care of it aside from asking tips from pet store owners). there was a point i had all of these pets all at the same time. but i stopped having pets because i dont have the time anymore. cleaning and maintenance can be time consuming and expensive especially when you do it as a hobby.
going back to the python, so there it was, a baby python eating a mouse in my room. my officemates caught it and one of them brought it home. that was that. a road accident might be more interesting to witness.
i was working on something on my desk when i heard something move in a pile of case files on my left. when i looked at the source of the sound, i saw something shiny and white. at first i thought it was some big lizard's tail but then i wondered, how come its white? i dont know any common lizard that's as white as powder (and i doubt there's a rare specie lurking in my office room). and its not the albino kind of white (pinkish white). anyway, it disappeared and then seconds later, i saw the head of a mouse appear from underneath the case files, wrapped in a snake's body. a snake that's not white at all. maybe when i first saw it, the angle of the snake's body reflected the light from the room that's why it appeared white to me.
the mouse was still alive since it was squeaking but it was only a matter of seconds before the baby python squeezed the life out of it. thats when i realized it was a python and not a venomous snake because of the manner it killed its prey. at first i thought i would wait for it to finish its "brunch" but i decided to tell my officemate about it because it might finish eating without me noticing it and starts to slither away. when i informed them about it, they thought i was talking about a small snake the size of a worm (because i approached them and asked in a calm manner if they knew how to catch a snake. i didnt want to catch it because i dont know how to catch a python myself). they werent expecting a 1.5 foot baby python that can eat a mouse. well, ive had a bunch of pets before (and i used to have an extensive knowledge of animals and dinosaurs when i was in grade school. now, i just pretend i dont know much and let people debate by themselves. i dont want to be seen as an "animal expert" anymore because people dont really take the information seriously except as a "fun fact". i dont want to be like the "crazy person inside the bus" like Ted Mosby) so i dont get "excited" with animals, even the unusual kind. ive had dogs, budgies, freshwater aquarium fish (from arowanas to mollies), white mice, water snake, iguanas, mini-lobsters and turtles (and i always hit the encyclopedias and do some internet research on how to properly take care of it aside from asking tips from pet store owners). there was a point i had all of these pets all at the same time. but i stopped having pets because i dont have the time anymore. cleaning and maintenance can be time consuming and expensive especially when you do it as a hobby.
going back to the python, so there it was, a baby python eating a mouse in my room. my officemates caught it and one of them brought it home. that was that. a road accident might be more interesting to witness.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
silence is in the bullet of the shooter
Angelo Reyes is dead. this news surprised me yesterday. well, not the fact that he is dead but the fact he apparently committed suicide. i learned about it around 9:30am while i was on my way to work. i stopped by a nearby store to buy some cellphone credits when i overheard the news in an A.M. radio station. the news was about Honasan making a comment regarding the death of Reyes. at first, i thought i must have heard it wrong. he killed himself? that cant be right. why the hell would Reyes commit suicide? i dont know the guy personally but ive read and seen him in the news for years and one of my professors personally know him. based from how Reyes projected himself in the media and how my professor described how Reyes was like as DoE chief, it wasnt in his character to do such an act that reflects weakness. so i wondered yesterday what could drive a strong man to end his own life?
suicide is a form of escape. weak-willed desperate people commit this. usually. some commit suicide as an extreme form of political protest while some kill themselves so they can die with honor, like the seppuku. i dont know where Reyes would fall in. i imagined putting myself in Reyes' position and asked myself, what would make me kill myself? the answer i got is, when its the only way, or the best way, i can protect something. what that is for Reyes, i wouldnt know. we can only assume what he thinks needs to be protected. if Reyes is as strong as how he have shown himself through the years, i think thats a good reason why he would do such a thing. he literally took a bullet for something or someone he wanted to protect. if such is the case, what he did is honorable yet not necessarily admirable.
another possible reason i can think of is, he lost his strength to fight obstacles. what could drain a strong man of his strength? one thing i can think of is the realization of being alone against insurmountable difficulties. to have no one to turn to or no one to rely on especially from the people he thought he could expect to provide some form of help. another is to realize that one is a victim of a rotten system that he merely inherited and in a way accepted because that's the only way he knew how he could operate and perform his functions. going against the flow isnt something we teach in schools. well, the schools ive attended always say its difficult to go against the flow. they neither discourage or encourage (its like, dont blindly conform but at the same time dont be a non-conformist. going against the flow will, and should always be, a personal decision and not something dictated or taught in order for it to retain its value). im not saying Reyes is in fact a victim nor he felt victimized. the question im trying to point out is, assuming he did what his accusers allege, how many would not do the same thing? how many would go against what seems to be an accepted "tradition"? assuming the allegations were true, i guess he wasnt that man who's meant to "rock the boat". normally, no one wants to rock the boat. also, we have to take into consideration military culture. admirable men would do something about it of course but not anyone can do it. well, this is what i can gather from the little piece of information i receive from the current events reported in the news. from what i know about politics, there's always something that's not reported that changes how we perceive things from how things are portrayed by the media.
if Reyes didnt kill himself and continued to fight, it would have been admirable but at the expense of his honor. his reputation is already tarnished even if he ends up clearing his name. there are just some things that cant be restored. if the way i see things are true, i guess he chose to have the honor he has left rather than being admirable. to some people, there's no point doing something admirable when youre all alone or it means going against the people that are close to you or could lead to the destruction of things that matter or close to one's heart. for some, its better to have the respect of your close peers than the admiration of strangers.
suicide is a form of escape. weak-willed desperate people commit this. usually. some commit suicide as an extreme form of political protest while some kill themselves so they can die with honor, like the seppuku. i dont know where Reyes would fall in. i imagined putting myself in Reyes' position and asked myself, what would make me kill myself? the answer i got is, when its the only way, or the best way, i can protect something. what that is for Reyes, i wouldnt know. we can only assume what he thinks needs to be protected. if Reyes is as strong as how he have shown himself through the years, i think thats a good reason why he would do such a thing. he literally took a bullet for something or someone he wanted to protect. if such is the case, what he did is honorable yet not necessarily admirable.
another possible reason i can think of is, he lost his strength to fight obstacles. what could drain a strong man of his strength? one thing i can think of is the realization of being alone against insurmountable difficulties. to have no one to turn to or no one to rely on especially from the people he thought he could expect to provide some form of help. another is to realize that one is a victim of a rotten system that he merely inherited and in a way accepted because that's the only way he knew how he could operate and perform his functions. going against the flow isnt something we teach in schools. well, the schools ive attended always say its difficult to go against the flow. they neither discourage or encourage (its like, dont blindly conform but at the same time dont be a non-conformist. going against the flow will, and should always be, a personal decision and not something dictated or taught in order for it to retain its value). im not saying Reyes is in fact a victim nor he felt victimized. the question im trying to point out is, assuming he did what his accusers allege, how many would not do the same thing? how many would go against what seems to be an accepted "tradition"? assuming the allegations were true, i guess he wasnt that man who's meant to "rock the boat". normally, no one wants to rock the boat. also, we have to take into consideration military culture. admirable men would do something about it of course but not anyone can do it. well, this is what i can gather from the little piece of information i receive from the current events reported in the news. from what i know about politics, there's always something that's not reported that changes how we perceive things from how things are portrayed by the media.
if Reyes didnt kill himself and continued to fight, it would have been admirable but at the expense of his honor. his reputation is already tarnished even if he ends up clearing his name. there are just some things that cant be restored. if the way i see things are true, i guess he chose to have the honor he has left rather than being admirable. to some people, there's no point doing something admirable when youre all alone or it means going against the people that are close to you or could lead to the destruction of things that matter or close to one's heart. for some, its better to have the respect of your close peers than the admiration of strangers.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
being unhealthy is burdensome and restricts my freedom.
i wouldnt say im health conscious. i would say im more mindful of my health now compared before (a friend would react and say "so its a question of semantics?" i always contradict him by just rephrasing his statements). years ago, when my blood condition was being closely monitored, i really didnt care about my health status. my mother even requested my cousins to pester me to be more concerned with my health condition then (because some crazy doctor prescribed some chemotherapy pills that caused my mother to worry too much). now that things seem to be more ok than before (not much skin allergies, no longer closely monitoring my blood, lungs seem to be better), why have i become more concerned about my health? why now when things seem to be normal? i wondered why the sudden concern and i came up with this (while walking home a while ago, asking this question): its not the fear of death or the fear of dying. its more of the fear (well, not fear but something quite like it) of not dying. ever since college, i tell my friends that death or dying isnt something worth worrying about. when a person dies, everything ends. all his worries, problems, etc. vanishes in an instant. when youre dead, you wont feel bad about leaving people and things behind. you simply just cease to exist. so why fear it when you wont feel or know anything after it occurs? so the problem lies in not dying. or not dying fast enough. or to be more clear, to be on the verge or in the middle of life and death and to be in a constant state of not dying. thats the scary part of it. i think. with this in mind, i said to myself, if im not going to die soon (because ever since high school, ive thought that i wont reach the age of 30. now it seems only an accident will prevent me from reaching 30), i wouldnt want to be unhealthy while waiting for death to come. its like gradually moving towards death in a burdensome pace and not quite reaching it because death wont reach out unless it wants to take you. thats torture. so its not the uncertainty of living (although it could wield some influence) but the discomfort and pain it brings that bothers me. i dont want to be in some pain, discomfort or some restriction due to health concerns (not being able to eat what i want to eat or not do what i want to do). i think this is the simple reason why i became more mindful of my health.
Saturday, January 08, 2011
maybe its temporary. maybe its just a phase or something
my attachment to my cellphones has substantially declined lately. before, it was the first thing i see in the morning and the last thing i check before i sleep. its always within arms reach from my bed. even while half asleep, when it rings, i can easily grab it with eyes closed because i know where it is exactly (even if its position changes every night. it seems my brain can easily picture its position in the room since its the last thing i check before i sleep). this has been the case since, if i remember correctly, 2004 (when i replaced my 3210 with a camera phone). and until 2006, i bring my phone with me in the shower. back then, 1/4 of the time, when i step out of the shower, there's always a text message or a missed call and i was the type who always replies promptly. when my old cellphone broke down and when its replacement was stolen, i quickly bought a new one. its like i cant function normally if i dont have a cellphone. that's how attached i am to my cellphones.
i dont know how this attachment developed. i just noticed that i have this intense attachment to most of the current essential gadgets. when i was in grade school, i was attached to my walkman (a walkman or a portable music player is essential to me. i always bring with me my mp3 player). i brought it to school when i have the opportunity (even if i only own two cassette tapes at that time. The Lion King OST and Michael Jackson's Dangerous album). ever since i took possession of my sister's laptop (which i promised to replace by buying her a new one by the end of the year), its been almost inseparable from me. a friend commented that im weird because we were at the beach and my bag was full of gadgets and wires. im more likely to forget to pack clothing than to forget to pack my cellphones and its chargers.
anyway, i just noticed that lately (lately means more or less three weeks. maybe more), i havent been mindful of my cellphones. when i check it, there's a text message or text messages that ive received half an hour or hours earlier (this is not normal for me since i always hear my cellphone ring because its always with me or within arms reach and the only time i dont reply promptly is when i dont have phone credit). i was also surprised that i have a draft message that i was supposed to send to people as a christmas greeting. i forgot about it (actually, i dont even remember saving it. just saw it this week). i was also supposed to send text messages to greet people last new year's day. i didnt (and its because the next thing knew, new year's day was over. life has been a blur lately). there are times i forget to check it before i sleep. its no longer the first thing i look for in the morning. its like one day, i woke up and im not attached to my cellphones anymore. but even if thats the case, i still dont forget to bring it with me when i leave the house. its already part of the "routine". there are things that i always have with me when i leave the house and its become a strong force of habit that i dont have to consciously think of checking if i have these things with me. like my watch for example. my right wrist feels bare when i step out of the house and im not wearing it. someone made a recent comment that i have lots of stuff in my pockets. i think it adds a pound or two (thats why i only weigh myself when im wearing indoor clothing).
not that i feel any different now that im not as attached to my cellphones as before. it just bothers me a bit that one day i can wake up and things arent the way they were before and i might not realize it. a change that might be significant but hardly noticeable. i think im going to miss my old attachment to my cellphones in a few days or in a few weeks now that i noticed the change.
i dont know how this attachment developed. i just noticed that i have this intense attachment to most of the current essential gadgets. when i was in grade school, i was attached to my walkman (a walkman or a portable music player is essential to me. i always bring with me my mp3 player). i brought it to school when i have the opportunity (even if i only own two cassette tapes at that time. The Lion King OST and Michael Jackson's Dangerous album). ever since i took possession of my sister's laptop (which i promised to replace by buying her a new one by the end of the year), its been almost inseparable from me. a friend commented that im weird because we were at the beach and my bag was full of gadgets and wires. im more likely to forget to pack clothing than to forget to pack my cellphones and its chargers.
anyway, i just noticed that lately (lately means more or less three weeks. maybe more), i havent been mindful of my cellphones. when i check it, there's a text message or text messages that ive received half an hour or hours earlier (this is not normal for me since i always hear my cellphone ring because its always with me or within arms reach and the only time i dont reply promptly is when i dont have phone credit). i was also surprised that i have a draft message that i was supposed to send to people as a christmas greeting. i forgot about it (actually, i dont even remember saving it. just saw it this week). i was also supposed to send text messages to greet people last new year's day. i didnt (and its because the next thing knew, new year's day was over. life has been a blur lately). there are times i forget to check it before i sleep. its no longer the first thing i look for in the morning. its like one day, i woke up and im not attached to my cellphones anymore. but even if thats the case, i still dont forget to bring it with me when i leave the house. its already part of the "routine". there are things that i always have with me when i leave the house and its become a strong force of habit that i dont have to consciously think of checking if i have these things with me. like my watch for example. my right wrist feels bare when i step out of the house and im not wearing it. someone made a recent comment that i have lots of stuff in my pockets. i think it adds a pound or two (thats why i only weigh myself when im wearing indoor clothing).
not that i feel any different now that im not as attached to my cellphones as before. it just bothers me a bit that one day i can wake up and things arent the way they were before and i might not realize it. a change that might be significant but hardly noticeable. i think im going to miss my old attachment to my cellphones in a few days or in a few weeks now that i noticed the change.
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
i have a terrible headache. my nose is slightly congested. i caught another cold.
my theory is...its because of the coffee. ive been drinking coffee daily lately since i think ive found my default brewed coffee brand.
ive always felt that coffee weakens my immune system. thats why i should only consume it in moderate amounts. 2 cups of the 8oz mcdonalds coffee or a starbucks grande cup would be a moderate amount for the entire day. if i go beyond that, i start to feel drained the day after.
usually, brewed coffee either perks me up or makes me sleepy (instant coffee has no effect). if the coffee wakes me up, i feel all my "potential energy" has been transformed into "kinetic energy", thats why i feel drained once the effect of the coffee goes away. no more energy left.
now, why do i think the coffee is the culprit for my cold? its because ive been consuming almost half a liter of brewed coffee lately (i have a half a liter mug. and a half a liter drinking glass). not that it wakes me up but like i said, i think i found my default brewed coffee brand. i like its taste. ive been drinking it daily for a week already and last monday, when i brought home some work, i consumed another half liter of it (it would be my third half liter within a week. in one sitting). the following day, tuesday, i wasnt feeling well and felt that im going to get a cold (i wore a jacket inside my office and the airconditioning wasnt even on. this is weird because i always feel hot). by tuesday night, i already have a sore throat and by wednesday morning, i already have a cold. i cant think of any other reason how i could have acquired the cold virus since i only go to the office then walk straight home (no contact with strangers). my theory is i have a weak immune system caused by drinking too much coffee. i take multivitamins and 500mg of vitamin c everyday. i eat fruits every other day. i always get 7-8 hours of sleep. im not stressed either. but i guess its no match against overconsumption of coffee.
another possibility is...im just old. im not that old but im not as "healthy" as my younger self. comparing my physically unfit 27 year old self to my physically unfit 25 year old self, my 25 year old self will come out as healthier. growing old sucks.
ive always felt that coffee weakens my immune system. thats why i should only consume it in moderate amounts. 2 cups of the 8oz mcdonalds coffee or a starbucks grande cup would be a moderate amount for the entire day. if i go beyond that, i start to feel drained the day after.
usually, brewed coffee either perks me up or makes me sleepy (instant coffee has no effect). if the coffee wakes me up, i feel all my "potential energy" has been transformed into "kinetic energy", thats why i feel drained once the effect of the coffee goes away. no more energy left.
now, why do i think the coffee is the culprit for my cold? its because ive been consuming almost half a liter of brewed coffee lately (i have a half a liter mug. and a half a liter drinking glass). not that it wakes me up but like i said, i think i found my default brewed coffee brand. i like its taste. ive been drinking it daily for a week already and last monday, when i brought home some work, i consumed another half liter of it (it would be my third half liter within a week. in one sitting). the following day, tuesday, i wasnt feeling well and felt that im going to get a cold (i wore a jacket inside my office and the airconditioning wasnt even on. this is weird because i always feel hot). by tuesday night, i already have a sore throat and by wednesday morning, i already have a cold. i cant think of any other reason how i could have acquired the cold virus since i only go to the office then walk straight home (no contact with strangers). my theory is i have a weak immune system caused by drinking too much coffee. i take multivitamins and 500mg of vitamin c everyday. i eat fruits every other day. i always get 7-8 hours of sleep. im not stressed either. but i guess its no match against overconsumption of coffee.
another possibility is...im just old. im not that old but im not as "healthy" as my younger self. comparing my physically unfit 27 year old self to my physically unfit 25 year old self, my 25 year old self will come out as healthier. growing old sucks.
Monday, January 03, 2011
woke up with a loose bolt
went to gilmore yesterday to buy an external hard disk drive. i needed the additional storage space and i need to make a back up for some files. for some strange reason, i was deprived of my basic knowledge of computers. i guess there are days when you wake up but your brain forgot to follow.
all i remember is that i had my lunch at 2pm then i was at gilmore by 330pm (lately, life has been a blur. again! like the early scenes in Scott Pilgrim vs the World). i did some canvassing and looked for the cheapest internal 500 gig seagate sata hard disk. there wasnt much price difference in the different stores i went to. i initially wanted a hitachi but since 3 out of 4 of my hard disks are seagate, i decided to have some brand loyalty (i dont know what's the brand of the other hard disk. i think its samsung. i wasnt there when it was installed). when i finally decided which store im going to buy the internal hard disk, i then went to CD R King to buy an external hard disk enclosure. this is where i did something idiotic. i bought the enclosure for a laptop hard disk instead of a desktop hard disk. at the back of my mind, i knew that i was buying the wrong enclosure but since i didnt explain to myself well enough why it was the wrong enclosure, i didnt listen. it was a very stupid mistake to commit. i was canvassing for an internal desktop hard disk, why the crap will i buy a laptop hard disk enclosure? right from the beginning, i knew what i was buying. how can i make a mistake in buying the wrong enclosure? anyway, i managed to get it replaced with the right one. i just felt really stupid for making the mistake.
when i got home, i checked if the hard disk was working. the PC and laptop can detect it but i cant open it because it doesnt have a designated drive letter. stupidity number two. ive bought hard disks before and installed it too (except for one of the hard disks in the PC because i was at my "despedida" party. so i just gave instructions to the computer repair guy, over the phone, about the hard disk i want). its very basic that i have to format the hard disk first! it took me half an hour to remember that.
slept last night feeling retarded.
all i remember is that i had my lunch at 2pm then i was at gilmore by 330pm (lately, life has been a blur. again! like the early scenes in Scott Pilgrim vs the World). i did some canvassing and looked for the cheapest internal 500 gig seagate sata hard disk. there wasnt much price difference in the different stores i went to. i initially wanted a hitachi but since 3 out of 4 of my hard disks are seagate, i decided to have some brand loyalty (i dont know what's the brand of the other hard disk. i think its samsung. i wasnt there when it was installed). when i finally decided which store im going to buy the internal hard disk, i then went to CD R King to buy an external hard disk enclosure. this is where i did something idiotic. i bought the enclosure for a laptop hard disk instead of a desktop hard disk. at the back of my mind, i knew that i was buying the wrong enclosure but since i didnt explain to myself well enough why it was the wrong enclosure, i didnt listen. it was a very stupid mistake to commit. i was canvassing for an internal desktop hard disk, why the crap will i buy a laptop hard disk enclosure? right from the beginning, i knew what i was buying. how can i make a mistake in buying the wrong enclosure? anyway, i managed to get it replaced with the right one. i just felt really stupid for making the mistake.
when i got home, i checked if the hard disk was working. the PC and laptop can detect it but i cant open it because it doesnt have a designated drive letter. stupidity number two. ive bought hard disks before and installed it too (except for one of the hard disks in the PC because i was at my "despedida" party. so i just gave instructions to the computer repair guy, over the phone, about the hard disk i want). its very basic that i have to format the hard disk first! it took me half an hour to remember that.
slept last night feeling retarded.
Friday, December 31, 2010
movies for 2011
i dont think i made a movie checklist for 2010. i wonder why? when i come up with a movie list for the year, i really try to watch everything on the list. for 2010, i managed to watch Inception, Resident Evil, HP7 and Tron. Inception was ok, Tron was simply a visual delight (good thing Olivia Wilde was there to make it more bearable) and Resident Evil wasnt worth recommending to be seen in 3D.
for 2011, these are the movies i intend to watch (got the movie plots from IMDB):
1. Transformers: Dark of the Moon
The Autobots learn of a Cybertronian spacecraft hidden on the Moon, and race against the Decepticons to reach it and learn its secrets, which could turn the tide in the Transformers' final battle.
why im going to watch it: the 2nd installment was a big disappointment. but im not giving up on it yet. i hope this one will be much better than the 2nd and if its not too much to ask, i also hope it will be the best of the three films. i want to be blown away like the first film. its hard for sequels to pull it off but im still hoping its possible.
2. Ip Man 2
Centering on Ip Man's migration to Hong Kong in 1949 as he attempts to propagate his discipline of Wing Chun martial arts.
why im going to watch it: its Ip Man once again. and i really liked the first one
3. Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides
Jack Sparrow and Barbossa embark on a quest to find the elusive fountain of youth, only to discover that Blackbeard and his daughter are after it too.
why im going to watch it: i like this film series. even if i dont like penelope cruz. i didnt even attend a class in law school just to watch it in a movie theater. not that im a fan of the film series. i just thought watching it wont be a waste of my time.
4. Bad Teacher
A comedy centered around a foul-mouthed, junior high teacher who, after being dumped by her sugar daddy, begins to woo a colleague -- a move that pits her against a well-loved teacher.
Why im going to watch it: Jason Segel is in it. not much of a reason. didnt even notice he was in Despicable Me (the same way i didnt notice Jason Lee in The Incredibles)
5. Jeff Who Lives at Home
When he leaves his house on a seemingly banal errand for his disgruntled mother, Jeff discovers that the universe might be sending him signals about the nature of his destiny.
why im going to watch it: again, jason segel. thats why im thinking if im going to watch Gulliver's Travels. i used to like Jack Black. but some of his films just doesnt work for me (like Year One, Tropic Thunder and Be Kind Rewind. i didnt find it as funny as most people did. i liked Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny and his films before that. Kung Fu Panda was good too but its an animated film).
6. The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo
A journalist is aided in his search for a woman who has been missing -- or dead -- for forty years by a young female hacker.
why im going to watch it: for some reason, im drawn to the concept of a girl with a dragon tattoo (and im seeing a girl with a ____ tattoo on her left ____). im just curious i guess and the plot seems very interesting. going to read the novel before the american film adaptation comes out. might watch the swedish version first too after reading the novel. once i get myself a copy of the trilogy.
7. Burke and Hare
Based on the true story about the famous murderers, 'Burke And Hare' follows the hapless exploits of these two men as they fall into the highly profitable business of providing cadavers for the medical fraternity in Nineteenth Century Edinburgh, then the centre of medical learning. The one thing they were short of was bodies
Why im going to watch it: Simon Pegg is in it.
8. Captain America: The First Avenger
After being deemed unfit for military service, Steve Rogers volunteers for a top secret research project that turns him into Captain America, a superhero dedicated to defending America's ideals.
Why im going to watch it: im a fan of the Marvel universe and its a movie based on a Marvel comics superhero
9. Thor
The powerful but arrogant warrior Thor is cast out of the fantastic realm of Asgard and sent to live amongst humans on Earth, where he soon becomes one of their finest defenders.
why im going to watch it: again, Marvel superhero.
10. X-men First Class
Before Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr took the names Professor X and Magneto, they were two young men discovering their powers for the first time. Before they were archenemies, they were closest of friends, working together, with other Mutants (some familiar, some new), to stop the greatest threat the world has ever known. In the process, a rift between them opened, which began the eternal war between Magneto's Brotherhood and Professor X's X-MEN
why im going to watch it: even if the Xmen film series has been a big disappointment, since this is a marvel superhero film, im going to watch it. hopefully, they get it right this time. i do hope they dont mess it up the fourth time.
11. Green Hornet
By night, debonair newspaper publisher Britt Reid fights crime as a masked superhero known as The Green Hornet. At his side is martial arts expert Kato.
why im going to see it: the trailer made the movie seem interesting enough. actually, i didnt want to see this until the trailer convinced me otherwise
12. Fast Five
Dominic and his crew find themselves on the wrong side of the law once again as they try to switch lanes between a ruthless drug lord and a relentless federal agent.
why im going to watch it: why wont i watch the fifth installment when ive seen the four other fast and the furious movies? like my friend said back in college, you dont watch it because of the plot.
13. Green Lantern
A test pilot is granted a mystical green ring that bestows him with otherworldly powers, as well as membership into an intergalactic squadron tasked with keeping peace within the universe.
why im going to see it: im not a fan of DC universe superheroes except Batman. but this movie might be worth watching.
14. Contagion
An action-thriller centered on the threat posed by a deadly disease and an international team of doctors contracted by the CDC to deal with the outbreak.
Why im going to watch it: i like "outbreak" plots. and marion cotillard and kate winslet is in it (i just realized that i like kate winslet's full name. i like the name "kate" and the word "winslet". i think i like the name more than the actress).
15. John Carter of Mars
Civil War vet John Carter is transplanted to Mars, where he discovers a lush, wildly diverse planet whose main inhabitants are 12-foot tall green barbarians. Finding himself a prisoner of these creatures, he escapes, only to encounter Dejah Thoris, Princess of Helium, who is in desperate need of a savior.
why im going to watch it: might be a good sci-fi film
16. Cowboys and Aliens
A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take over the Earth, starting with the Wild West region. A posse of cowboys are all that stand in their way.
why im going to watch it: Olivia Wilde and Ana de la Reguera. and its cowboys vs aliens!
17. Paul
Two British comic-book geeks traveling across the U.S. encounter an alien outside Area 51.
why im going to watch it: i like the plot. and its simon pegg with nick frost.
18. Crazy, Stupid, Love
A father's life unravels while he deals with a marital crisis and tries to manage his relationship with his children.
why im going to watch it: emma stone. and steve carell is funny enough.
19. A Dangerous Method
A look at how the intense relationship between Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud gives birth to psychoanalysis.
why im going to watch it: i miss keira knightley
20. Larry Crowne
After losing his job, a middle-aged man reinvents himself by going back to college.
why im going to watch it: havent seen Tom Hanks in a while
21. Everything Must Go
When an alcoholic relapses, causing him to lose his wife and his job, he holds a yard sale on his front lawn in an attempt to start over. A new neighbor might be the key to his return to form.
why im going to watch it: curious if its as good as Stranger than Fiction
22. Friends with Benefits
A guy and girl try to keep their relationship strictly physical, but it's not long before they learn that they want something more.
why im going to watch it: i miss harvard graduate Natalie Portman.
23. The Rite
An American priest travels to Italy to study at an exorcism school.
why im going to watch it: anthony hopkins in another thriller
24. Priest
A priest disobeys church law to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece.
why im going to watch it: looks like an interesting sci-fi flick, Maggie Quigley is here and its a priest that disobeyed church law.
25. Rango
A chameleon that aspires to be a swashbuckling hero finds himself in a Western town plagued by bandits and is forced to literally play the role in order to protect it.
why im going to watch it: seems interesting.
26. Rise of the Apes
An origin story set in present day San Francisco, where man's own experiments with genetic engineering lead to the development of intelligence in apes and the onset of a war for supremacy.
why im going to watch it: i like sci-fi films. and freida pinto is also here
27. Sherlock Holmes 2
Sherlock Holmes and his sidekick Dr. Watson join forces to outwit and bring down their fiercest adversary, Professor Moriarty.
why im going to watch it: Mycroft and Moriarty finally appears in the film. ive read most of the short stories and some of the novels.
28. Your Highness
When Prince Fabious's bride is kidnapped, he goes on a quest to rescue her... accompanied by his lazy useless brother Thadeous.
why im going to watch it: natalie portman with zooey deschanel. and this completes the three films of natalie portman for 2011.
29. Source Code
An action thriller centered on a soldier who wakes up in the body of an unknown man and discovers he's part of a mission to find the bomber of a Chicago commuter train.
why im going to watch it: another sci-fi film that looks interesting
30. Fright Night
A remake of the comedy-horror picture about a teenager who discovers his new next-door neighbor is a vampire.
why im going to watch it: i dont know. might have some entertainment value.
31. Hangover II
why im going to watch it: aside from i liked the first one...Jamie Chung is here! might watch Suckerpunch too because of her.
32. Hanna
A 14-year-old who was raised by her father to be a cold-hearted killing machine connects with a French family who look to help ease her into a more conventional life.
why im going to watch it: looks interesting.
33. Hugo Cabret
Set in 1930s Paris, an orphan who lives in the walls of a train station is wrapped up in a mystery involving his late father and an automaton.
why im going to watch it: looks interesting too
34. Immortals
Greek warrior Theseus battles against imprisoned titans.
why in going to watch it: might be interesting. will wait for the trailer.
35. Kane and Lynch
A pair of Death Row inmates, a mercenary named Kane and a schizophrenic named Lynch, escape during a prison transport and team up to retrieve a stolen fortune. Based on a video game.
why im going to watch it: bruce willis and jamie foxx and its an action flick. not a good enough reason but a not so bad one either.
36. Kung Fu Panda 2
Po joins forces with a group of new kung-fu masters to take on an old enemy with a deadly new weapon.
why im going to watch it: its kung fu panda.
37. Movie 43
A feature-film comprised of short comedy segments.
why im going to watch it: might not be good but it has an interesting cast
38. One Day
A romantic comedy centered on Dexter and Emma, who first meet during their graduation in 1988 and proceed to reunite one day each year for the next 20 years.
why im going to watch it: might just feel like watching it.
39. Super
After his wife falls under the influence of a drug dealer, an everyday guy transforms himself into Crimson Bolt, a superhero with the best intentions, though he lacks for heroic skills.
why im going to watch it: rainn wilson with ellen page. reminds me of their conversation in Juno.
40. Super 8
why im going to watch it: might be a good sci-film. no plot details yet.
41. The Tree of Life
The story centers around a family with three boys in the 1950s. The eldest son witnesses the loss of innocence.
why im going to watch it: looks like an interesting drama/fantasy film
42. Unknown
A man awakens from a coma, only to discover that someone has taken on his identity and that no one, (not even his wife), believes him. With the help of a young woman, he sets out to prove who he is.
why im going to watch it: might be as good as Taken.
43. Vanishing on 7th street
When a massive power outage plunges the city of Detroit into total darkness, a disparate group of individuals find themselves alone. The entire city's population has vanished into thin air, leaving behind heaps of empty clothing, abandoned cars and lengthening shadows. Soon the daylight begins to disappear completely, and as the survivors gather in an abandoned tavern, they realize the darkness is out to get them, and only their rapidly diminishing light sources can keep them safe
why im going to watch it: i like the plot
44. The Way Back
A fact-based story centered on soldiers who escaped from a Siberian gulag in 1940.
why im going to watch it: looks like an interesting film
45. Zookeeper
The animals at one particular zoo decide to break their code of silence in order to help their lovable zookeeper gain the attention of one particular woman.
why im going to watch it: i dont know.
for 2011, these are the movies i intend to watch (got the movie plots from IMDB):
1. Transformers: Dark of the Moon
The Autobots learn of a Cybertronian spacecraft hidden on the Moon, and race against the Decepticons to reach it and learn its secrets, which could turn the tide in the Transformers' final battle.
why im going to watch it: the 2nd installment was a big disappointment. but im not giving up on it yet. i hope this one will be much better than the 2nd and if its not too much to ask, i also hope it will be the best of the three films. i want to be blown away like the first film. its hard for sequels to pull it off but im still hoping its possible.
2. Ip Man 2
Centering on Ip Man's migration to Hong Kong in 1949 as he attempts to propagate his discipline of Wing Chun martial arts.
why im going to watch it: its Ip Man once again. and i really liked the first one
3. Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides
Jack Sparrow and Barbossa embark on a quest to find the elusive fountain of youth, only to discover that Blackbeard and his daughter are after it too.
why im going to watch it: i like this film series. even if i dont like penelope cruz. i didnt even attend a class in law school just to watch it in a movie theater. not that im a fan of the film series. i just thought watching it wont be a waste of my time.
4. Bad Teacher
A comedy centered around a foul-mouthed, junior high teacher who, after being dumped by her sugar daddy, begins to woo a colleague -- a move that pits her against a well-loved teacher.
Why im going to watch it: Jason Segel is in it. not much of a reason. didnt even notice he was in Despicable Me (the same way i didnt notice Jason Lee in The Incredibles)
5. Jeff Who Lives at Home
When he leaves his house on a seemingly banal errand for his disgruntled mother, Jeff discovers that the universe might be sending him signals about the nature of his destiny.
why im going to watch it: again, jason segel. thats why im thinking if im going to watch Gulliver's Travels. i used to like Jack Black. but some of his films just doesnt work for me (like Year One, Tropic Thunder and Be Kind Rewind. i didnt find it as funny as most people did. i liked Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny and his films before that. Kung Fu Panda was good too but its an animated film).
6. The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo
A journalist is aided in his search for a woman who has been missing -- or dead -- for forty years by a young female hacker.
why im going to watch it: for some reason, im drawn to the concept of a girl with a dragon tattoo (and im seeing a girl with a ____ tattoo on her left ____). im just curious i guess and the plot seems very interesting. going to read the novel before the american film adaptation comes out. might watch the swedish version first too after reading the novel. once i get myself a copy of the trilogy.
7. Burke and Hare
Based on the true story about the famous murderers, 'Burke And Hare' follows the hapless exploits of these two men as they fall into the highly profitable business of providing cadavers for the medical fraternity in Nineteenth Century Edinburgh, then the centre of medical learning. The one thing they were short of was bodies
Why im going to watch it: Simon Pegg is in it.
8. Captain America: The First Avenger
After being deemed unfit for military service, Steve Rogers volunteers for a top secret research project that turns him into Captain America, a superhero dedicated to defending America's ideals.
Why im going to watch it: im a fan of the Marvel universe and its a movie based on a Marvel comics superhero
9. Thor
The powerful but arrogant warrior Thor is cast out of the fantastic realm of Asgard and sent to live amongst humans on Earth, where he soon becomes one of their finest defenders.
why im going to watch it: again, Marvel superhero.
10. X-men First Class
Before Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr took the names Professor X and Magneto, they were two young men discovering their powers for the first time. Before they were archenemies, they were closest of friends, working together, with other Mutants (some familiar, some new), to stop the greatest threat the world has ever known. In the process, a rift between them opened, which began the eternal war between Magneto's Brotherhood and Professor X's X-MEN
why im going to watch it: even if the Xmen film series has been a big disappointment, since this is a marvel superhero film, im going to watch it. hopefully, they get it right this time. i do hope they dont mess it up the fourth time.
11. Green Hornet
By night, debonair newspaper publisher Britt Reid fights crime as a masked superhero known as The Green Hornet. At his side is martial arts expert Kato.
why im going to see it: the trailer made the movie seem interesting enough. actually, i didnt want to see this until the trailer convinced me otherwise
12. Fast Five
Dominic and his crew find themselves on the wrong side of the law once again as they try to switch lanes between a ruthless drug lord and a relentless federal agent.
why im going to watch it: why wont i watch the fifth installment when ive seen the four other fast and the furious movies? like my friend said back in college, you dont watch it because of the plot.
13. Green Lantern
A test pilot is granted a mystical green ring that bestows him with otherworldly powers, as well as membership into an intergalactic squadron tasked with keeping peace within the universe.
why im going to see it: im not a fan of DC universe superheroes except Batman. but this movie might be worth watching.
14. Contagion
An action-thriller centered on the threat posed by a deadly disease and an international team of doctors contracted by the CDC to deal with the outbreak.
Why im going to watch it: i like "outbreak" plots. and marion cotillard and kate winslet is in it (i just realized that i like kate winslet's full name. i like the name "kate" and the word "winslet". i think i like the name more than the actress).
15. John Carter of Mars
Civil War vet John Carter is transplanted to Mars, where he discovers a lush, wildly diverse planet whose main inhabitants are 12-foot tall green barbarians. Finding himself a prisoner of these creatures, he escapes, only to encounter Dejah Thoris, Princess of Helium, who is in desperate need of a savior.
why im going to watch it: might be a good sci-fi film
16. Cowboys and Aliens
A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take over the Earth, starting with the Wild West region. A posse of cowboys are all that stand in their way.
why im going to watch it: Olivia Wilde and Ana de la Reguera. and its cowboys vs aliens!
17. Paul
Two British comic-book geeks traveling across the U.S. encounter an alien outside Area 51.
why im going to watch it: i like the plot. and its simon pegg with nick frost.
18. Crazy, Stupid, Love
A father's life unravels while he deals with a marital crisis and tries to manage his relationship with his children.
why im going to watch it: emma stone. and steve carell is funny enough.
19. A Dangerous Method
A look at how the intense relationship between Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud gives birth to psychoanalysis.
why im going to watch it: i miss keira knightley
20. Larry Crowne
After losing his job, a middle-aged man reinvents himself by going back to college.
why im going to watch it: havent seen Tom Hanks in a while
21. Everything Must Go
When an alcoholic relapses, causing him to lose his wife and his job, he holds a yard sale on his front lawn in an attempt to start over. A new neighbor might be the key to his return to form.
why im going to watch it: curious if its as good as Stranger than Fiction
22. Friends with Benefits
A guy and girl try to keep their relationship strictly physical, but it's not long before they learn that they want something more.
why im going to watch it: i miss harvard graduate Natalie Portman.
23. The Rite
An American priest travels to Italy to study at an exorcism school.
why im going to watch it: anthony hopkins in another thriller
24. Priest
A priest disobeys church law to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece.
why im going to watch it: looks like an interesting sci-fi flick, Maggie Quigley is here and its a priest that disobeyed church law.
25. Rango
A chameleon that aspires to be a swashbuckling hero finds himself in a Western town plagued by bandits and is forced to literally play the role in order to protect it.
why im going to watch it: seems interesting.
26. Rise of the Apes
An origin story set in present day San Francisco, where man's own experiments with genetic engineering lead to the development of intelligence in apes and the onset of a war for supremacy.
why im going to watch it: i like sci-fi films. and freida pinto is also here
27. Sherlock Holmes 2
Sherlock Holmes and his sidekick Dr. Watson join forces to outwit and bring down their fiercest adversary, Professor Moriarty.
why im going to watch it: Mycroft and Moriarty finally appears in the film. ive read most of the short stories and some of the novels.
28. Your Highness
When Prince Fabious's bride is kidnapped, he goes on a quest to rescue her... accompanied by his lazy useless brother Thadeous.
why im going to watch it: natalie portman with zooey deschanel. and this completes the three films of natalie portman for 2011.
29. Source Code
An action thriller centered on a soldier who wakes up in the body of an unknown man and discovers he's part of a mission to find the bomber of a Chicago commuter train.
why im going to watch it: another sci-fi film that looks interesting
30. Fright Night
A remake of the comedy-horror picture about a teenager who discovers his new next-door neighbor is a vampire.
why im going to watch it: i dont know. might have some entertainment value.
31. Hangover II
why im going to watch it: aside from i liked the first one...Jamie Chung is here! might watch Suckerpunch too because of her.
32. Hanna
A 14-year-old who was raised by her father to be a cold-hearted killing machine connects with a French family who look to help ease her into a more conventional life.
why im going to watch it: looks interesting.
33. Hugo Cabret
Set in 1930s Paris, an orphan who lives in the walls of a train station is wrapped up in a mystery involving his late father and an automaton.
why im going to watch it: looks interesting too
34. Immortals
Greek warrior Theseus battles against imprisoned titans.
why in going to watch it: might be interesting. will wait for the trailer.
35. Kane and Lynch
A pair of Death Row inmates, a mercenary named Kane and a schizophrenic named Lynch, escape during a prison transport and team up to retrieve a stolen fortune. Based on a video game.
why im going to watch it: bruce willis and jamie foxx and its an action flick. not a good enough reason but a not so bad one either.
36. Kung Fu Panda 2
Po joins forces with a group of new kung-fu masters to take on an old enemy with a deadly new weapon.
why im going to watch it: its kung fu panda.
37. Movie 43
A feature-film comprised of short comedy segments.
why im going to watch it: might not be good but it has an interesting cast
38. One Day
A romantic comedy centered on Dexter and Emma, who first meet during their graduation in 1988 and proceed to reunite one day each year for the next 20 years.
why im going to watch it: might just feel like watching it.
39. Super
After his wife falls under the influence of a drug dealer, an everyday guy transforms himself into Crimson Bolt, a superhero with the best intentions, though he lacks for heroic skills.
why im going to watch it: rainn wilson with ellen page. reminds me of their conversation in Juno.
40. Super 8
why im going to watch it: might be a good sci-film. no plot details yet.
41. The Tree of Life
The story centers around a family with three boys in the 1950s. The eldest son witnesses the loss of innocence.
why im going to watch it: looks like an interesting drama/fantasy film
42. Unknown
A man awakens from a coma, only to discover that someone has taken on his identity and that no one, (not even his wife), believes him. With the help of a young woman, he sets out to prove who he is.
why im going to watch it: might be as good as Taken.
43. Vanishing on 7th street
When a massive power outage plunges the city of Detroit into total darkness, a disparate group of individuals find themselves alone. The entire city's population has vanished into thin air, leaving behind heaps of empty clothing, abandoned cars and lengthening shadows. Soon the daylight begins to disappear completely, and as the survivors gather in an abandoned tavern, they realize the darkness is out to get them, and only their rapidly diminishing light sources can keep them safe
why im going to watch it: i like the plot
44. The Way Back
A fact-based story centered on soldiers who escaped from a Siberian gulag in 1940.
why im going to watch it: looks like an interesting film
45. Zookeeper
The animals at one particular zoo decide to break their code of silence in order to help their lovable zookeeper gain the attention of one particular woman.
why im going to watch it: i dont know.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
getting physical
i dont understand why people insist that ive lost weight when the weighing scale says otherwise. ever since the bar exams ended, i did not significantly lose any weight (since fluctuations of plus or minus two pounds occur due to food intake). i actually maintained my end of september weight until the end of november. by the end of november, i started to gradually gain weight (a bit earlier than expected since my previous observations have shown that i gain weight after three months of more or less consistent diet). i monitor it with our weighing scale which isnt defective. a number of people use it, even my cousin (our weighing scale has been consistent so far, so no reason to doubt its effectivity and validity of its reading). i have now fully gained the weight ive lost during the bar review. now comes the more difficult part of gaining more. i need to gain more since im more or less 20 pounds underweight. and as i try to gain more weight, i need to improve my coordination and maintain my agility. why? because even if im physically unfit, my coordination has not substantially deteriorated and my agility remained fairly good. these two things are some of the things im going to miss as i grow older. i would like to make use of it while i still have it or while i can still do it and i expect it to become poor as i gain weight unless i intentionally improve it.
right now, i think ive injured my left hand due to the bar exams (writing a lot of essays really wore out my hand). i feel a sharp pain on my knuckle area when i hold something in a particular way and its a bit more difficult to clench compared with my right hand. as for my right hand, its prone to the carpal tunnel syndrome.
right now, i think ive injured my left hand due to the bar exams (writing a lot of essays really wore out my hand). i feel a sharp pain on my knuckle area when i hold something in a particular way and its a bit more difficult to clench compared with my right hand. as for my right hand, its prone to the carpal tunnel syndrome.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Nooooo!!!
earlier today, i dropped by the nearby korean convenience store to buy some samyang ramyun. there were very limited stock of the cup noodles and they said its been weeks since their last delivery of samyang. and they dont know when they will have new ones! now im thinking of looking for it in other korean convenience stores. i tried eating other cup noodles but i really liked the samyang brand. and its not because its soshi endorsed. i only learned they were its endorsers after i got hooked to the noodles (but i will have to admit i was influenced by them in finally deciding to buy chucks). anyway, i bought two of the few remaining stock of the samyang cup ramyun and my brother bought from me one of the two cups i bought (well, i wouldnt just give it away freely). just when i already found my default cup noodle brand and was about to get attached to it, it gets taken away from me. at least i still have my default potato chips.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
leave it to chance
the random DVD pick. last sunday, i was at the xmas bazaar of a nearby church. one of the stalls sold DVDs (why do sellers of pirated DVDs have a distinctive black plastic bag? the plastic bag makes it so obvious to everyone that you just bought pirated DVDs). my sister was checking the korean titles when she saw My Girlfriend is a Fox. she thought it was some lame film because of the title and she showed it to me. i said its a good TV series and she should buy it. she just gave me a puzzled look (since its difficult for most people to determine whether im joking or not). the vendor backed me up and said its really a good program. she was only half convinced so i ended up buying it. the reason i knew about the program is because Hyomin is in it (one of the cast members of Invincible Youth and one my favorite cast member). as for the random DVD pick, i asked whether they have Hayao Miyazaki films. the vendor had no idea what i was talking about. i said its an anime film. she showed me the anime column. they didnt have it. but when i first looked at the anime column and randomly picked a DVD, i got an Audrey Hepburn movie collection. nice! i have no idea why it was in the anime column but i was glad to have randomly picked it. even if i didnt get what i was looking for (well, i got it a week later anyway when i went to UP), i still got something i like.
the lost rubber fitting. earlier today, i thought of listening to my mp3 player while walking in UP (while thinking of where to go next after buying DVDs). when i put my earphones on, one of them didnt fit right. when i checked it, i learned i lost the rubber fitting of the earbud. i checked my pocket, it wasnt there. i tried using it without the rubber fitting but it just couldnt fit snugly in my ear. so i placed my mp3 player back in my pocket. since i really wanted to listen to music, i tried looking for cheap earphones in the nearby bazaar. i could have just looked for the rubber fitting but i thought what if i didnt lose it in UP? i always have it in my pocket and i could have lost it days ago without noticing it. anyway, i didnt find any earphones so i decided to get some lunch. when i decided to go to SM to window shop, i thought of going back to the place where i took out my mp3 player from my pocket since its nearby. to my surprise, i saw the rubber fitting. it was very dusty so i thought someone must have stepped on it. i gave it a quick wash in a nearby restroom (the shopping center restroom). would i dare use it? the water's a bit dirty and im going to put it in my ear? well, i tried to wipe it clean as much as i can. when i placed the rubber fitting, i found out it wasnt the rubber fitting i lost. the size is different. so where's the rubber fitting i lost? anyway, its still good enough and i was able to use it. when i got home, i replaced it with my spare rubber fittings. what are the chances of finding someone else's rubber fitting for an earbud on the same location i lost mine? now that i think about it, it was really very unhygienic. i dont even lend my earphones to other people and i used one that i just picked from a dusty ground? well, i really wanted to listen to music and my right ear does not seem to be infected or anything. i have the tendency to be reckless when i want something so much.
the lost rubber fitting. earlier today, i thought of listening to my mp3 player while walking in UP (while thinking of where to go next after buying DVDs). when i put my earphones on, one of them didnt fit right. when i checked it, i learned i lost the rubber fitting of the earbud. i checked my pocket, it wasnt there. i tried using it without the rubber fitting but it just couldnt fit snugly in my ear. so i placed my mp3 player back in my pocket. since i really wanted to listen to music, i tried looking for cheap earphones in the nearby bazaar. i could have just looked for the rubber fitting but i thought what if i didnt lose it in UP? i always have it in my pocket and i could have lost it days ago without noticing it. anyway, i didnt find any earphones so i decided to get some lunch. when i decided to go to SM to window shop, i thought of going back to the place where i took out my mp3 player from my pocket since its nearby. to my surprise, i saw the rubber fitting. it was very dusty so i thought someone must have stepped on it. i gave it a quick wash in a nearby restroom (the shopping center restroom). would i dare use it? the water's a bit dirty and im going to put it in my ear? well, i tried to wipe it clean as much as i can. when i placed the rubber fitting, i found out it wasnt the rubber fitting i lost. the size is different. so where's the rubber fitting i lost? anyway, its still good enough and i was able to use it. when i got home, i replaced it with my spare rubber fittings. what are the chances of finding someone else's rubber fitting for an earbud on the same location i lost mine? now that i think about it, it was really very unhygienic. i dont even lend my earphones to other people and i used one that i just picked from a dusty ground? well, i really wanted to listen to music and my right ear does not seem to be infected or anything. i have the tendency to be reckless when i want something so much.
the pizza that never came
this contains the sad story of a highway accident i saw earlier today. well, i didnt witness the accident as it occurred. i saw it when the road accident was all done and all the participants that could have been injured have been injured.
i went to UP earlier today to buy some DVDs and look at the xmas bazaar near the Parish of the Holy Sacrifice. i was looking for a DVD of Invincible Youth and Hello Baby. there was none. fortunately, there was a DVD of Hayao Miyazaki films. its not complete (it doesnt have Spirited Away and Kiki's Delivery Service) but it has most of the titles ive lost (i lent my copies of Hayao Miyazaki films to a friend and he never returned them) including My Neighbor Totoro. i also bought a DVD of Cowboy Bebop TV series. at least this one is complete. i think (i havent checked).
then i went to UP Shopping Center to get me some lunch. ive been looking for jajangmyeon but i cant find a place that sells it so i settled for jajang rice. it wasnt good but its not that bad either. i would probably voluntarily eat one again if i have no other choice. thats what i mean when i say its not bad. there's still a possibility that i might eat one again.
after eating lunch, i decided to go to SM and do some window shopping. while riding a UP Philcoa jeepney, i saw the road accident i was talking about earlier. along Commonwealth Ave near the u-turn slot, there were several motorcycles parked around two men. one man was sitting with knee bent, cringing in pain. the other man was lying face down. he was either unconscious or paralyzed. the man lying face down was a delivery guy for local pizza chain. the accident wasnt bloody but looking at one of the injured men, it really looked serious. its a bit amusing that the other motorcycles that were surrounding the injured men were delivery guys from different fastfood chains. since i was riding a jeepney, didnt know what happened to the injured guys.
after seeing the road accident, i started wondering about the person who ordered the pizza. he or she wont get it within the usual reasonable time (he or she might not get the delivery at all if its for a specific event). will the pizza chain inform him that the delivery guy met an unfortunate accident? what if it was for a party? think of the hungry party attendees. will the delivery guy spend his christmas in the hospital? what about the hospital bills? road accidents suck. road accidents involving fast food deliveries suck more. if i was the person who ordered the pizza, not only will i not receive the food, im not entitled to get pissed either. its damnum abseque injuria even if i ordered pizza for a big event.
i have a nice title but i didnt write a good story for it. not in the mood to take the pizza delivery guy's point of view and come up with a story. besides, after seeing the accident, i decided to go home since i really felt bad for the injured delivery guy (christmas is just around the corner and he would probably spend some hard earned money for his injuries). i was no longer in the mood to window shop.
i went to UP earlier today to buy some DVDs and look at the xmas bazaar near the Parish of the Holy Sacrifice. i was looking for a DVD of Invincible Youth and Hello Baby. there was none. fortunately, there was a DVD of Hayao Miyazaki films. its not complete (it doesnt have Spirited Away and Kiki's Delivery Service) but it has most of the titles ive lost (i lent my copies of Hayao Miyazaki films to a friend and he never returned them) including My Neighbor Totoro. i also bought a DVD of Cowboy Bebop TV series. at least this one is complete. i think (i havent checked).
then i went to UP Shopping Center to get me some lunch. ive been looking for jajangmyeon but i cant find a place that sells it so i settled for jajang rice. it wasnt good but its not that bad either. i would probably voluntarily eat one again if i have no other choice. thats what i mean when i say its not bad. there's still a possibility that i might eat one again.
after eating lunch, i decided to go to SM and do some window shopping. while riding a UP Philcoa jeepney, i saw the road accident i was talking about earlier. along Commonwealth Ave near the u-turn slot, there were several motorcycles parked around two men. one man was sitting with knee bent, cringing in pain. the other man was lying face down. he was either unconscious or paralyzed. the man lying face down was a delivery guy for local pizza chain. the accident wasnt bloody but looking at one of the injured men, it really looked serious. its a bit amusing that the other motorcycles that were surrounding the injured men were delivery guys from different fastfood chains. since i was riding a jeepney, didnt know what happened to the injured guys.
after seeing the road accident, i started wondering about the person who ordered the pizza. he or she wont get it within the usual reasonable time (he or she might not get the delivery at all if its for a specific event). will the pizza chain inform him that the delivery guy met an unfortunate accident? what if it was for a party? think of the hungry party attendees. will the delivery guy spend his christmas in the hospital? what about the hospital bills? road accidents suck. road accidents involving fast food deliveries suck more. if i was the person who ordered the pizza, not only will i not receive the food, im not entitled to get pissed either. its damnum abseque injuria even if i ordered pizza for a big event.
i have a nice title but i didnt write a good story for it. not in the mood to take the pizza delivery guy's point of view and come up with a story. besides, after seeing the accident, i decided to go home since i really felt bad for the injured delivery guy (christmas is just around the corner and he would probably spend some hard earned money for his injuries). i was no longer in the mood to window shop.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
i miss the original G7
season one of Invincible Youth has ended (well, about to end). havent found good quality subs for episode 33 onwards. hope they go ahead with season two next year. and if they do, they should try to bring back the original G7. but i think the chance of that happening is slim.
well, i will have to settle with My Girlfriend is a Gumiho for now.
well, i will have to settle with My Girlfriend is a Gumiho for now.
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
i guess they werent lying...
when people say that some things are good for you. in this case, food.
since october, i started avoiding "unhealthy" food (fastfood, softdrinks and junk food). around november, i tried adding some nutritious food in my diet (more veggies and fruits, sweet potatoes for breakfast, soybean custard from time to time). only now did i realize that i havent been feeling any physical discomfort or body pain lately. my headaches arent as frequent (but my mood still hasnt changed. so it could mean my mood is not related to my physical health). i substantially reduced my "pork intake". when i ate a lot of pork the other night coupled with pork sisig the day before, i felt some sharp pain in my intestine area. so i guess i shouldnt eat pork frequently and stick to chicken, fish and veggies. but i when i ate KFC's Double Down (something that looks very unhealthy), it felt like a light snack to me (and i didnt feel any discomfort whatsoever, as opposed to a college friend who said he felt some neck pain after eating one. i could easily consume two, maybe three). the only fastfood item that has an apparent adverse effect on me is McDonalds' Double Cheeseburger. well, before, when it wasnt listed in the menu (the Double Cheeseburger wasnt posted in the menu before but when i ask at the counter if they have one available, they say they have it but i have to wait for a few minutes. i didnt mind because why would they prepare one beforehand when its not listed in the first place? i dont remember how i knew about it though. its like the free coffee refills in the morning). back then, when i eat Mcdonalds' Double Cheesburger, i always feel my chest tighten. i really liked this burger because it was greasy, really greasy. i like greasy burgers (thats why i discourage my siblings to go a certain burger place in Cubao because their burgers werent greasy at all). but when i order one now, it doesnt give me that same "crap, i might be having a heart attack" feeling anymore. thats why i order the Quarter Pounder instead (i really hope the McRib becomes available here).
not sure if its due to my healthier diet that caused the improvement of my physical condition (as usual, i have doubts). what im sure of is, it coincided with it. im going to stick to the healthier diet but i will reward myself with unhealthy ones from time to time. thats one of the reasons why i improved my diet in the first place, so i can eat unhealthy food for a long time. i dont want to grow old and have a lot of food restrictions. unhealthy food is one of the few things i can look forward to and enjoy when im old.
in a very unrelated but could be remotely connected note, i dont get why Audrey Hepburn hates pastries. its one the best edible things one can sink one's teeth in. well, im not completely convinced with what i just said but right now, im reminiscing about the cupcake i just ate yesterday. maybe i was just really tired and hungry yesterday
since october, i started avoiding "unhealthy" food (fastfood, softdrinks and junk food). around november, i tried adding some nutritious food in my diet (more veggies and fruits, sweet potatoes for breakfast, soybean custard from time to time). only now did i realize that i havent been feeling any physical discomfort or body pain lately. my headaches arent as frequent (but my mood still hasnt changed. so it could mean my mood is not related to my physical health). i substantially reduced my "pork intake". when i ate a lot of pork the other night coupled with pork sisig the day before, i felt some sharp pain in my intestine area. so i guess i shouldnt eat pork frequently and stick to chicken, fish and veggies. but i when i ate KFC's Double Down (something that looks very unhealthy), it felt like a light snack to me (and i didnt feel any discomfort whatsoever, as opposed to a college friend who said he felt some neck pain after eating one. i could easily consume two, maybe three). the only fastfood item that has an apparent adverse effect on me is McDonalds' Double Cheeseburger. well, before, when it wasnt listed in the menu (the Double Cheeseburger wasnt posted in the menu before but when i ask at the counter if they have one available, they say they have it but i have to wait for a few minutes. i didnt mind because why would they prepare one beforehand when its not listed in the first place? i dont remember how i knew about it though. its like the free coffee refills in the morning). back then, when i eat Mcdonalds' Double Cheesburger, i always feel my chest tighten. i really liked this burger because it was greasy, really greasy. i like greasy burgers (thats why i discourage my siblings to go a certain burger place in Cubao because their burgers werent greasy at all). but when i order one now, it doesnt give me that same "crap, i might be having a heart attack" feeling anymore. thats why i order the Quarter Pounder instead (i really hope the McRib becomes available here).
not sure if its due to my healthier diet that caused the improvement of my physical condition (as usual, i have doubts). what im sure of is, it coincided with it. im going to stick to the healthier diet but i will reward myself with unhealthy ones from time to time. thats one of the reasons why i improved my diet in the first place, so i can eat unhealthy food for a long time. i dont want to grow old and have a lot of food restrictions. unhealthy food is one of the few things i can look forward to and enjoy when im old.
in a very unrelated but could be remotely connected note, i dont get why Audrey Hepburn hates pastries. its one the best edible things one can sink one's teeth in. well, im not completely convinced with what i just said but right now, im reminiscing about the cupcake i just ate yesterday. maybe i was just really tired and hungry yesterday
Sunday, December 05, 2010
Saturday, December 04, 2010
no pain, no gain
Invincible Youth is a korean television program about girls coming from different top Kpop girl groups doing actual farm work in a certain rural area in South Korea. its a half reality, half variety show. after seeing one episode, i got hooked. i managed to watch until episode 32 earlier this week and im looking for episodes 33 onwards. its difficult to find a subbed episode after episode 32 because the cast members that are also part of Girls Generation (SNSD) left after episode 32 (so the subbers of the program stopped subbing it unless there's an episode involving members of SNSD). i need to find fansubs of other Kpop groups to find the latter episodes (aaah, fansubs and their fansubbers. our modern day copyright infringers and the "enemy" of profit-sensitive corporations. from anime to manga to Kpop. i should have used this topic for a legal research paper)
the primary shooting location is a typical rural house in a farming village. they personally built the restroom in the first episode (i think the girls didnt use it after the first episode since its only a soy sauce jar buried in the ground. in a latter episode, a cast member asked that the prize for the game be the privilege to use any restroom in the farming village). this house serves as the "set" for the program which visitors can visit during non-shooting days. they only shoot the program for one whole day (i think. based from my observation. it starts very early in the morning and ends late in the afternoon, sometimes evening). usually, a day's filming is equivalent to one episode. there are no scripts (except a few lines used for the opening part or ending part) so they just need to shoot continuously for the entire day, collect all the footage and edit it.
the cast members are members of top Kpop girl groups (this is what caught my attention to watch the program, obviously). there's seven of them from 6 different girl groups, one for each group except SNSD which has two representatives (hence seven). it makes use of a multi-camera set-up (same as How I Met Your Mother. but if i remember correctly, How I Met Your Mother takes 2-3 days to shoot for a half an hour program. or it takes 2-3 days to edit the footage?). i think they usually use at least 14 cameras simultaneously. some cameras are used for multi-angle shots while others are used to follow the members as they go around the shooting location.
the cast members are given tasks involving farm work (planting lettuce, planting rice, grafting eggplants, harvesting crops, etc) and other rural livelihood activities (raising livestock, making tofu, making kimchi, selling their produce, applying for a loan, etc). initially people would think its scripted and "fake" but after seeing many episodes, it can be seen that the cast members do the actual work and the multi-camera set-up is useful in showing this (the edited footage can sometimes show that the cast members did the actual work from start to finish). of course the opening lines and themes are scripted but everything else in between arent. the crew just keeps shooting the cast members wherever they go and after getting a lot of footage, they edit it. thats why some cast members dont get much air time because their footage arent good enough for broadcast (which also became a running joke for the cast members). the program isnt just reality TV, its also a variety show. so its not about just performing the task (which became an initial complaint since some cast members do a lot of work and its not even shown in the broadast), its about performing the task in an entertaining manner or having quotable lines. so the show's hosts (which also perform the tasks assigned for each episode) always joke that the program is becoming a documentary when they realize everyone is too busy working or too involved in the task. in order to make it more entertaining, they insert games or gags while working. they also do games on who gets ownership of the livestock or a particular farm produce. some cast members have the knack of working in an entertaining manner, some dont. so it took some time for some cast members to the concept of half reality, half variety show and how to get more air time.
another thing i like about the program (what i like about it most is that it involves members of girls groups, not only SNSD) is that it promotes the lifestyle in the rural area. i think the show also gave upon itself the project of making the farming village a venue for hands-on farming for tourists and visitors. it doesnt only inform the viewers how to properly do farm work (one cast member even had to apply for a license to operate farming equipments) but it invites them to visit the area and experience some of the farm work themselves. well, i think. i havent reached that far in the episodes. i really dont know what happened after members of SNSD left the program. im still looking for the latter episodes. i think a program like this would be a lot of help here. im not talking about just farming. i think its still debateable what kind of industry the Philippines should focus on. once that's been determined, programs that entice people to work under such industry should be made to promote it. programs that promote self sufficiency and employment.
this video basically sums up what i just said (credit to uploader auradreamer):
the primary shooting location is a typical rural house in a farming village. they personally built the restroom in the first episode (i think the girls didnt use it after the first episode since its only a soy sauce jar buried in the ground. in a latter episode, a cast member asked that the prize for the game be the privilege to use any restroom in the farming village). this house serves as the "set" for the program which visitors can visit during non-shooting days. they only shoot the program for one whole day (i think. based from my observation. it starts very early in the morning and ends late in the afternoon, sometimes evening). usually, a day's filming is equivalent to one episode. there are no scripts (except a few lines used for the opening part or ending part) so they just need to shoot continuously for the entire day, collect all the footage and edit it.
the cast members are members of top Kpop girl groups (this is what caught my attention to watch the program, obviously). there's seven of them from 6 different girl groups, one for each group except SNSD which has two representatives (hence seven). it makes use of a multi-camera set-up (same as How I Met Your Mother. but if i remember correctly, How I Met Your Mother takes 2-3 days to shoot for a half an hour program. or it takes 2-3 days to edit the footage?). i think they usually use at least 14 cameras simultaneously. some cameras are used for multi-angle shots while others are used to follow the members as they go around the shooting location.
the cast members are given tasks involving farm work (planting lettuce, planting rice, grafting eggplants, harvesting crops, etc) and other rural livelihood activities (raising livestock, making tofu, making kimchi, selling their produce, applying for a loan, etc). initially people would think its scripted and "fake" but after seeing many episodes, it can be seen that the cast members do the actual work and the multi-camera set-up is useful in showing this (the edited footage can sometimes show that the cast members did the actual work from start to finish). of course the opening lines and themes are scripted but everything else in between arent. the crew just keeps shooting the cast members wherever they go and after getting a lot of footage, they edit it. thats why some cast members dont get much air time because their footage arent good enough for broadcast (which also became a running joke for the cast members). the program isnt just reality TV, its also a variety show. so its not about just performing the task (which became an initial complaint since some cast members do a lot of work and its not even shown in the broadast), its about performing the task in an entertaining manner or having quotable lines. so the show's hosts (which also perform the tasks assigned for each episode) always joke that the program is becoming a documentary when they realize everyone is too busy working or too involved in the task. in order to make it more entertaining, they insert games or gags while working. they also do games on who gets ownership of the livestock or a particular farm produce. some cast members have the knack of working in an entertaining manner, some dont. so it took some time for some cast members to the concept of half reality, half variety show and how to get more air time.
another thing i like about the program (what i like about it most is that it involves members of girls groups, not only SNSD) is that it promotes the lifestyle in the rural area. i think the show also gave upon itself the project of making the farming village a venue for hands-on farming for tourists and visitors. it doesnt only inform the viewers how to properly do farm work (one cast member even had to apply for a license to operate farming equipments) but it invites them to visit the area and experience some of the farm work themselves. well, i think. i havent reached that far in the episodes. i really dont know what happened after members of SNSD left the program. im still looking for the latter episodes. i think a program like this would be a lot of help here. im not talking about just farming. i think its still debateable what kind of industry the Philippines should focus on. once that's been determined, programs that entice people to work under such industry should be made to promote it. programs that promote self sufficiency and employment.
this video basically sums up what i just said (credit to uploader auradreamer):
Friday, December 03, 2010
hit the snooze button
im the type of person who can quickly slip into the dream world when i take a nap. if im really tired or sleepy, the moment i close my eyes, i start dreaming already. its different when i sleep at night. it takes some time before dreams materialize. the vivid ones usually come between 5am to 7am. i guess it appears vivid to me because its near my waking time and i remember most of it.
dreaming is like altering one's consciousness. like when i take a nap or simply doze off while sitting in my office chair, when i start dreaming, its as if im automatically transported into another world and i simply accept it without objection. one moment im sitting in my office, minutes after i close my eyes, im in a coffee shop talking to an absolute stranger. i dont try to determine whether its a dream or not. sitting with a stranger in a coffee shop is a dead give away im in a dream. i just accept it as what it presents itself to be and go with the flow of the dream (unless i dont like where its heading then i try to alter its course). since im only taking a nap, the slightest noise from the real world would wake me up and i get pulled out of that coffee shop back to my chair inside my office room. the sudden change of environment doesnt disorient me. i know that i was just dreaming (but there are dreams that are so captivating that the moment i wake up, i absolutely feel i have no idea where i am or what day it is. for some weird reason, i like it when that happens). at the same time, it makes me feel i teleported from one world to another. it makes me feel like i exist simultaneously in two different worlds. since i cant have a simultaneous consciousness of both, i merely switch between the two consciousness, where im on autopilot on the consciousness im not presently with (so when im awake, my other consciousness that exists in the subconcious is just there, waiting for me to revert back to it). i think when people zone out in the real world, its as if they're trying to reach the other consciousness they have that exists in their subconscious without going to sleep. i think this is when the two consciousness almost meet but not quite.
anyway, its because of dreams that i find sleep addictive. dreams are much more interesting than the real world. its a place where one can let go of himself. i become violent in my dreams and i consider it as an indication that i have some frustrations building up and its my other consciousness telling me to find an outlet in the real world for this stored anger. its also in dreams where people have the opportunity to spend time with people they want to spend time with or cant spend time with, whether deceased or living. death has no power in people's dreams. if it has, its merely an illusion. dreams are simply fascinating.
i wrote this entry about dreams because i had a peculiar dream weeks ago. it involved riding elevators. i cant remember much of it now but that dream has left a deep impression on me. and i just need to put it in writing here in case i need to remember it someday. this is the purpose of this blog after all.
in that particular dream, i just kept riding elevators. not that i stayed in it the whole time. i got out of course. it was as if i was running an errand or doing work similar to a messenger. i enter the elevator, go up several floors, step out, accomplish what i need to accomplish in that floor, return to the elevator, go down, then repeat the whole cycle again on another floor. i kept repeating this until i entered the elevator with two guys in it. not that the elevator was empty when i used it before but in this instance, there was something about these guys. and this time, i was heading towards the top most floor. when i stepped out the elevator, the two guys also stepped out and introduced themselves as Life and Experience. i simply nodded and thought to myself, "sounds like im in some low budget corny movie". now that i think about it, it could be some philosophical comedy. anyway, i went to the reception area of that floor. i was instructed to go to another building and go to the room of lady named Chandra Gupta. during the dream, i thought the name sounded familiar (i had to google it days later since the name wasnt leaving my head. when i found out what the name was all about, i didnt even bother finding out more. it bored me). so i went to the other building, which looked like its four decades old and just 30 storeys high. but im supposed to go to the 200 plus floor. that cant be right, i said to myself. but i entered the building's elevator anyway. i didnt press any button. it went up on its own. like a scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, it went higher than the building and learned i was riding a glass elevator. so up it went and i reached Chandra's floor. she was a middle aged woman, beautiful and if i were asked to give her a name that would suit her, i would say Monica. maybe because her hairstyle resembled Monica Lewinsky's. but her face looked as if it was a reflection of wisdom. she was casually dressed and gives off an impression of just being an average middle age woman with good looks. its only upon closer inspection of her face that one starts to think she might not be as average as she appears to be. its like she has some vast knowledge secretly hidden within her. anyway, the dream didnt end there but i cant remember what happened afterwards. the last thing i can remember was that i asked for some chocolate or chocolate cake.
some people would try to find some profound meaning or psychic interpretation in their dreams (like my cousin). i dont. if i do, i merely do it to amuse myself (or others. probably). i seriously dont think dreams have any significant meaning that needs thorough analysis and interpretation. if there's any meaning to it, i think its simply a reflection of what we cant express in the real world, like stored anger or deep sorrow or inexplicable happiness. as for the weird dream i just narrated, i just think i have use for it someday and i dont want to forget about it. i dont think im going to meet someone named Chandra Gupta (as opposed to the nagging feeling ive been having regarding a girl named Mika. its been weeks since ive felt i should be careful of a girl named Mika, in case i meet one in the next 6 months) or that i should take note of the elevator occupants whenever i ride it. i think its just something interesting that there's no harm in noting.
dreaming is like altering one's consciousness. like when i take a nap or simply doze off while sitting in my office chair, when i start dreaming, its as if im automatically transported into another world and i simply accept it without objection. one moment im sitting in my office, minutes after i close my eyes, im in a coffee shop talking to an absolute stranger. i dont try to determine whether its a dream or not. sitting with a stranger in a coffee shop is a dead give away im in a dream. i just accept it as what it presents itself to be and go with the flow of the dream (unless i dont like where its heading then i try to alter its course). since im only taking a nap, the slightest noise from the real world would wake me up and i get pulled out of that coffee shop back to my chair inside my office room. the sudden change of environment doesnt disorient me. i know that i was just dreaming (but there are dreams that are so captivating that the moment i wake up, i absolutely feel i have no idea where i am or what day it is. for some weird reason, i like it when that happens). at the same time, it makes me feel i teleported from one world to another. it makes me feel like i exist simultaneously in two different worlds. since i cant have a simultaneous consciousness of both, i merely switch between the two consciousness, where im on autopilot on the consciousness im not presently with (so when im awake, my other consciousness that exists in the subconcious is just there, waiting for me to revert back to it). i think when people zone out in the real world, its as if they're trying to reach the other consciousness they have that exists in their subconscious without going to sleep. i think this is when the two consciousness almost meet but not quite.
anyway, its because of dreams that i find sleep addictive. dreams are much more interesting than the real world. its a place where one can let go of himself. i become violent in my dreams and i consider it as an indication that i have some frustrations building up and its my other consciousness telling me to find an outlet in the real world for this stored anger. its also in dreams where people have the opportunity to spend time with people they want to spend time with or cant spend time with, whether deceased or living. death has no power in people's dreams. if it has, its merely an illusion. dreams are simply fascinating.
i wrote this entry about dreams because i had a peculiar dream weeks ago. it involved riding elevators. i cant remember much of it now but that dream has left a deep impression on me. and i just need to put it in writing here in case i need to remember it someday. this is the purpose of this blog after all.
in that particular dream, i just kept riding elevators. not that i stayed in it the whole time. i got out of course. it was as if i was running an errand or doing work similar to a messenger. i enter the elevator, go up several floors, step out, accomplish what i need to accomplish in that floor, return to the elevator, go down, then repeat the whole cycle again on another floor. i kept repeating this until i entered the elevator with two guys in it. not that the elevator was empty when i used it before but in this instance, there was something about these guys. and this time, i was heading towards the top most floor. when i stepped out the elevator, the two guys also stepped out and introduced themselves as Life and Experience. i simply nodded and thought to myself, "sounds like im in some low budget corny movie". now that i think about it, it could be some philosophical comedy. anyway, i went to the reception area of that floor. i was instructed to go to another building and go to the room of lady named Chandra Gupta. during the dream, i thought the name sounded familiar (i had to google it days later since the name wasnt leaving my head. when i found out what the name was all about, i didnt even bother finding out more. it bored me). so i went to the other building, which looked like its four decades old and just 30 storeys high. but im supposed to go to the 200 plus floor. that cant be right, i said to myself. but i entered the building's elevator anyway. i didnt press any button. it went up on its own. like a scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, it went higher than the building and learned i was riding a glass elevator. so up it went and i reached Chandra's floor. she was a middle aged woman, beautiful and if i were asked to give her a name that would suit her, i would say Monica. maybe because her hairstyle resembled Monica Lewinsky's. but her face looked as if it was a reflection of wisdom. she was casually dressed and gives off an impression of just being an average middle age woman with good looks. its only upon closer inspection of her face that one starts to think she might not be as average as she appears to be. its like she has some vast knowledge secretly hidden within her. anyway, the dream didnt end there but i cant remember what happened afterwards. the last thing i can remember was that i asked for some chocolate or chocolate cake.
some people would try to find some profound meaning or psychic interpretation in their dreams (like my cousin). i dont. if i do, i merely do it to amuse myself (or others. probably). i seriously dont think dreams have any significant meaning that needs thorough analysis and interpretation. if there's any meaning to it, i think its simply a reflection of what we cant express in the real world, like stored anger or deep sorrow or inexplicable happiness. as for the weird dream i just narrated, i just think i have use for it someday and i dont want to forget about it. i dont think im going to meet someone named Chandra Gupta (as opposed to the nagging feeling ive been having regarding a girl named Mika. its been weeks since ive felt i should be careful of a girl named Mika, in case i meet one in the next 6 months) or that i should take note of the elevator occupants whenever i ride it. i think its just something interesting that there's no harm in noting.
two when tee seven
Twenty seven. its a nice sounding age. "how old are you?" twenty seven. "please write your age". 27. its old but not that old. it looks good. it has a certain appeal to it. its weird i havent given much attention to it. i already have something planned by the time i reach 28. i also came up with something when i was 26. but i havent really given much thought how im going to use my 27th year.
the thought occurred to me while i was staring at the back of left hand inside my office earlier today. i just finished my lunch 15 minutes earlier when i felt my hands were drying up again (its the dishwashing paste i used when i cleaned my utensils after i ate my lunch). it has become a habit for me to look at my hand from time to time. i remember back in college, a classmate caught me staring blankly at my right palm during class. she just came back from the rest room and was about to go back to her seat. she was seated in front me. when i sensed someone was walking at my right side, i looked up from my seat and there she was, giving me a puzzled look. a look that says "are you high or something? why the hell are you staring at your right palm in the middle of a class lecture?" well, i was staring at it because the wrinkles on my hands indicate how old i am. seeing the wrinkly skin on my hands really makes me feel old and it immerses me in some deep thought relating to years and lifetime.
seeing the wrinkly skin of the back of my left hand reminded me i just turned twenty seven. it made me realize i havent given much thought what i will do as a twenty seven year old guy. i already have plans until i reach 28 but those are mostly related to work. thats just one aspect of one's life. if twenty seven is some kind of bottle that needs to be filled up to reach age 28, the plans i have now probably just fill, at the most, half of it. i need to think of the other aspects that i will need to do to fill up my 27th year. not that its necessary to think about it but i think its better to have something planned than nothing. its easier to discard or revise plans along the way when something unforeseeable or unavoidable occurs compared to coming up with something out of thin air. some would argue life is much more exciting when one implements the latter approach. but at this age, ive realized that opportunities are lost through that approach too. life can be harsh. well, life is harsh. there's no such thing as a demandable right to be given a second chance. as much as possible, i would rather minimize my regrets. if i do need to do something regretful, i make sure im prepared for the consequences. im no longer that college kid who used to say that im ready to die any moment because ive lived my life without regrets. the older i got, the more i realized how many opportunities ive lost.
so how will i make use of my 27th year? well, the stuff i have in store for my 28th year needs some preparation and a lot of hard work to pull it off. so am i going to spend my 27th year anticipating the 28th? well, my work plans already intends to address this concern. so what i need are plans that will supplement my current plans and make things interesting.
the thought occurred to me while i was staring at the back of left hand inside my office earlier today. i just finished my lunch 15 minutes earlier when i felt my hands were drying up again (its the dishwashing paste i used when i cleaned my utensils after i ate my lunch). it has become a habit for me to look at my hand from time to time. i remember back in college, a classmate caught me staring blankly at my right palm during class. she just came back from the rest room and was about to go back to her seat. she was seated in front me. when i sensed someone was walking at my right side, i looked up from my seat and there she was, giving me a puzzled look. a look that says "are you high or something? why the hell are you staring at your right palm in the middle of a class lecture?" well, i was staring at it because the wrinkles on my hands indicate how old i am. seeing the wrinkly skin on my hands really makes me feel old and it immerses me in some deep thought relating to years and lifetime.
seeing the wrinkly skin of the back of my left hand reminded me i just turned twenty seven. it made me realize i havent given much thought what i will do as a twenty seven year old guy. i already have plans until i reach 28 but those are mostly related to work. thats just one aspect of one's life. if twenty seven is some kind of bottle that needs to be filled up to reach age 28, the plans i have now probably just fill, at the most, half of it. i need to think of the other aspects that i will need to do to fill up my 27th year. not that its necessary to think about it but i think its better to have something planned than nothing. its easier to discard or revise plans along the way when something unforeseeable or unavoidable occurs compared to coming up with something out of thin air. some would argue life is much more exciting when one implements the latter approach. but at this age, ive realized that opportunities are lost through that approach too. life can be harsh. well, life is harsh. there's no such thing as a demandable right to be given a second chance. as much as possible, i would rather minimize my regrets. if i do need to do something regretful, i make sure im prepared for the consequences. im no longer that college kid who used to say that im ready to die any moment because ive lived my life without regrets. the older i got, the more i realized how many opportunities ive lost.
so how will i make use of my 27th year? well, the stuff i have in store for my 28th year needs some preparation and a lot of hard work to pull it off. so am i going to spend my 27th year anticipating the 28th? well, my work plans already intends to address this concern. so what i need are plans that will supplement my current plans and make things interesting.
Thursday, December 02, 2010
day in and day out
there's nothing to blog about lately. nothing new or nothing out of the ordinary or nothing worth writing about is happening. each day is substantially the same since i started working last october. i wake up around 8am. i eat my breakfast (i started having sweet potatoes for breakfast as an attempt to consume nutritious food. if there are no sweet potatoes, then my breakfast would be pandesal. there are days i get to have half a liter of soybean custard). then i brush my teeth (i shave if im in the mood or if i need to appear in court), take a bath, get dressed then walk to my office. its a 5-10 minute walk. i reach my office a little past 9am.
going to work is a bit out of the ordinary because its like going to batman's bat cave (if batman considers his cave as his office. but i dont see myself as batman. i dont have the required moral fiber). instead of going to an ordinary building lobby, the most convenient entrance to my office is passing through the dark basement parking with its leaking pipes (so i always need to make sure there are no cars that are about to exit the basement parking before i start walking down the narrow ramp and be careful of the puddles of water). since the elevator isnt working, i have to take four flights of stairs that lead to a dark lobby that has three wooden divan-like furnitures with animal sculptures. the only lighted area in the 2nd floor is the inside of my office (the walls of the office facing the lobby are made of glass). actually, the entire floor is my office and its lobby is dark simply because there are no working light bulbs. there are no signs either that would indicate its an office. the only thing posted on the door is the time of the office lunch break.
the scent of cigarette smoke is what greets anyone that enters the lobby (and stale cigarette smoke when they enter the actual office).
my room is located at the far end of the office, at the end of a corridor. it has a typical wooden desk, one swivel chair for me and two wooden chairs for clients. the only object on my desk is a paper tray containing office notices (whether i received calls while im out of the office, instructions for research to be done, etc), documents ive reviewed or written and papers containing the research ive done. i always return the books ive read when im done using it. there's a filing cabinet at one corner of my room, two monoblock chairs (one of which has a stack of case files), stacks of case files on the floor and cobwebs on the ceiling. i have no computer (so i use my laptop. in effect, i dont have an internet connection since the office doesnt have wifi). when i need to do some online research, i will have to borrow the secretary's computer (but i rarely need to go online. the office library and the law materials i have in my laptop are usually enough). the office also doesnt have running water. most people would find such an office depressing but after some time, its not really bad as it first appears to be. its a fully functioning office and its not as inconvenient as it sounds. i think its very much like a typical office in the mid-90s.
there are days when there's a lot to do. there are days when the work load is just right. there are days when i do nothing at all (so i do bum around in the office. but not everyday). in any case, i always finish my work within a satisfactory period. i dont miss a deadline and they tell me i work really fast. even when i worked for an NGO last year, in my exit interview, they told me that i do work quickly or i get the job done faster than they expected. i guess the normal pace for me is faster compared to most people (thats why fastfood counters arent fast enough for me and one of the primary sources of frustration. a slow internet speed still remains the most frustrating experience). an officemate joked that i shouldnt finish my work too quickly because my boss might get used to it. i might set a new standard in accomplishing work and it would be burdensome for others, including me because im raising expectations. as for the quality of work, no one has complimented me about it and no one has complained either. what they always notice is my speed. so i guess my work is good enough. well, i dont aim for an excellent work anyway. ive always been an advocate of "substantial compliance" since high school. if i think its good enough, its good enough.
when the day's work is done, i walk home. once i get home, i eat some snacks while i go online to check emails (its the time of the day i can finally have some internet time). the moment i enter my room, i change my clothes, unpack my laptop and switch it on. after i check my emails, i watch youtube videos until midnight. i eat my dinner at 7pm, do some night rituals by 11pm and sleep by midnight. whenever i eat dinner, i need to be watching something on TV. so when i find something really good to watch, i sometimes take a break from watching online videos.
this is my usual routine during the weekdays when no external forces intervene. i try not to change it since it allows me to go on autopilot. it makes time fly by faster.
going to work is a bit out of the ordinary because its like going to batman's bat cave (if batman considers his cave as his office. but i dont see myself as batman. i dont have the required moral fiber). instead of going to an ordinary building lobby, the most convenient entrance to my office is passing through the dark basement parking with its leaking pipes (so i always need to make sure there are no cars that are about to exit the basement parking before i start walking down the narrow ramp and be careful of the puddles of water). since the elevator isnt working, i have to take four flights of stairs that lead to a dark lobby that has three wooden divan-like furnitures with animal sculptures. the only lighted area in the 2nd floor is the inside of my office (the walls of the office facing the lobby are made of glass). actually, the entire floor is my office and its lobby is dark simply because there are no working light bulbs. there are no signs either that would indicate its an office. the only thing posted on the door is the time of the office lunch break.
the scent of cigarette smoke is what greets anyone that enters the lobby (and stale cigarette smoke when they enter the actual office).
my room is located at the far end of the office, at the end of a corridor. it has a typical wooden desk, one swivel chair for me and two wooden chairs for clients. the only object on my desk is a paper tray containing office notices (whether i received calls while im out of the office, instructions for research to be done, etc), documents ive reviewed or written and papers containing the research ive done. i always return the books ive read when im done using it. there's a filing cabinet at one corner of my room, two monoblock chairs (one of which has a stack of case files), stacks of case files on the floor and cobwebs on the ceiling. i have no computer (so i use my laptop. in effect, i dont have an internet connection since the office doesnt have wifi). when i need to do some online research, i will have to borrow the secretary's computer (but i rarely need to go online. the office library and the law materials i have in my laptop are usually enough). the office also doesnt have running water. most people would find such an office depressing but after some time, its not really bad as it first appears to be. its a fully functioning office and its not as inconvenient as it sounds. i think its very much like a typical office in the mid-90s.
there are days when there's a lot to do. there are days when the work load is just right. there are days when i do nothing at all (so i do bum around in the office. but not everyday). in any case, i always finish my work within a satisfactory period. i dont miss a deadline and they tell me i work really fast. even when i worked for an NGO last year, in my exit interview, they told me that i do work quickly or i get the job done faster than they expected. i guess the normal pace for me is faster compared to most people (thats why fastfood counters arent fast enough for me and one of the primary sources of frustration. a slow internet speed still remains the most frustrating experience). an officemate joked that i shouldnt finish my work too quickly because my boss might get used to it. i might set a new standard in accomplishing work and it would be burdensome for others, including me because im raising expectations. as for the quality of work, no one has complimented me about it and no one has complained either. what they always notice is my speed. so i guess my work is good enough. well, i dont aim for an excellent work anyway. ive always been an advocate of "substantial compliance" since high school. if i think its good enough, its good enough.
when the day's work is done, i walk home. once i get home, i eat some snacks while i go online to check emails (its the time of the day i can finally have some internet time). the moment i enter my room, i change my clothes, unpack my laptop and switch it on. after i check my emails, i watch youtube videos until midnight. i eat my dinner at 7pm, do some night rituals by 11pm and sleep by midnight. whenever i eat dinner, i need to be watching something on TV. so when i find something really good to watch, i sometimes take a break from watching online videos.
this is my usual routine during the weekdays when no external forces intervene. i try not to change it since it allows me to go on autopilot. it makes time fly by faster.
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