i dont think i made a movie checklist for 2010. i wonder why? when i come up with a movie list for the year, i really try to watch everything on the list. for 2010, i managed to watch Inception, Resident Evil, HP7 and Tron. Inception was ok, Tron was simply a visual delight (good thing Olivia Wilde was there to make it more bearable) and Resident Evil wasnt worth recommending to be seen in 3D.
for 2011, these are the movies i intend to watch (got the movie plots from IMDB):
1. Transformers: Dark of the Moon
The Autobots learn of a Cybertronian spacecraft hidden on the Moon, and race against the Decepticons to reach it and learn its secrets, which could turn the tide in the Transformers' final battle.
why im going to watch it: the 2nd installment was a big disappointment. but im not giving up on it yet. i hope this one will be much better than the 2nd and if its not too much to ask, i also hope it will be the best of the three films. i want to be blown away like the first film. its hard for sequels to pull it off but im still hoping its possible.
2. Ip Man 2
Centering on Ip Man's migration to Hong Kong in 1949 as he attempts to propagate his discipline of Wing Chun martial arts.
why im going to watch it: its Ip Man once again. and i really liked the first one
3. Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides
Jack Sparrow and Barbossa embark on a quest to find the elusive fountain of youth, only to discover that Blackbeard and his daughter are after it too.
why im going to watch it: i like this film series. even if i dont like penelope cruz. i didnt even attend a class in law school just to watch it in a movie theater. not that im a fan of the film series. i just thought watching it wont be a waste of my time.
4. Bad Teacher
A comedy centered around a foul-mouthed, junior high teacher who, after being dumped by her sugar daddy, begins to woo a colleague -- a move that pits her against a well-loved teacher.
Why im going to watch it: Jason Segel is in it. not much of a reason. didnt even notice he was in Despicable Me (the same way i didnt notice Jason Lee in The Incredibles)
5. Jeff Who Lives at Home
When he leaves his house on a seemingly banal errand for his disgruntled mother, Jeff discovers that the universe might be sending him signals about the nature of his destiny.
why im going to watch it: again, jason segel. thats why im thinking if im going to watch Gulliver's Travels. i used to like Jack Black. but some of his films just doesnt work for me (like Year One, Tropic Thunder and Be Kind Rewind. i didnt find it as funny as most people did. i liked Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny and his films before that. Kung Fu Panda was good too but its an animated film).
6. The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo
A journalist is aided in his search for a woman who has been missing -- or dead -- for forty years by a young female hacker.
why im going to watch it: for some reason, im drawn to the concept of a girl with a dragon tattoo (and im seeing a girl with a ____ tattoo on her left ____). im just curious i guess and the plot seems very interesting. going to read the novel before the american film adaptation comes out. might watch the swedish version first too after reading the novel. once i get myself a copy of the trilogy.
7. Burke and Hare
Based on the true story about the famous murderers, 'Burke And Hare' follows the hapless exploits of these two men as they fall into the highly profitable business of providing cadavers for the medical fraternity in Nineteenth Century Edinburgh, then the centre of medical learning. The one thing they were short of was bodies
Why im going to watch it: Simon Pegg is in it.
8. Captain America: The First Avenger
After being deemed unfit for military service, Steve Rogers volunteers for a top secret research project that turns him into Captain America, a superhero dedicated to defending America's ideals.
Why im going to watch it: im a fan of the Marvel universe and its a movie based on a Marvel comics superhero
9. Thor
The powerful but arrogant warrior Thor is cast out of the fantastic realm of Asgard and sent to live amongst humans on Earth, where he soon becomes one of their finest defenders.
why im going to watch it: again, Marvel superhero.
10. X-men First Class
Before Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr took the names Professor X and Magneto, they were two young men discovering their powers for the first time. Before they were archenemies, they were closest of friends, working together, with other Mutants (some familiar, some new), to stop the greatest threat the world has ever known. In the process, a rift between them opened, which began the eternal war between Magneto's Brotherhood and Professor X's X-MEN
why im going to watch it: even if the Xmen film series has been a big disappointment, since this is a marvel superhero film, im going to watch it. hopefully, they get it right this time. i do hope they dont mess it up the fourth time.
11. Green Hornet
By night, debonair newspaper publisher Britt Reid fights crime as a masked superhero known as The Green Hornet. At his side is martial arts expert Kato.
why im going to see it: the trailer made the movie seem interesting enough. actually, i didnt want to see this until the trailer convinced me otherwise
12. Fast Five
Dominic and his crew find themselves on the wrong side of the law once again as they try to switch lanes between a ruthless drug lord and a relentless federal agent.
why im going to watch it: why wont i watch the fifth installment when ive seen the four other fast and the furious movies? like my friend said back in college, you dont watch it because of the plot.
13. Green Lantern
A test pilot is granted a mystical green ring that bestows him with otherworldly powers, as well as membership into an intergalactic squadron tasked with keeping peace within the universe.
why im going to see it: im not a fan of DC universe superheroes except Batman. but this movie might be worth watching.
14. Contagion
An action-thriller centered on the threat posed by a deadly disease and an international team of doctors contracted by the CDC to deal with the outbreak.
Why im going to watch it: i like "outbreak" plots. and marion cotillard and kate winslet is in it (i just realized that i like kate winslet's full name. i like the name "kate" and the word "winslet". i think i like the name more than the actress).
15. John Carter of Mars
Civil War vet John Carter is transplanted to Mars, where he discovers a lush, wildly diverse planet whose main inhabitants are 12-foot tall green barbarians. Finding himself a prisoner of these creatures, he escapes, only to encounter Dejah Thoris, Princess of Helium, who is in desperate need of a savior.
why im going to watch it: might be a good sci-fi film
16. Cowboys and Aliens
A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take over the Earth, starting with the Wild West region. A posse of cowboys are all that stand in their way.
why im going to watch it: Olivia Wilde and Ana de la Reguera. and its cowboys vs aliens!
17. Paul
Two British comic-book geeks traveling across the U.S. encounter an alien outside Area 51.
why im going to watch it: i like the plot. and its simon pegg with nick frost.
18. Crazy, Stupid, Love
A father's life unravels while he deals with a marital crisis and tries to manage his relationship with his children.
why im going to watch it: emma stone. and steve carell is funny enough.
19. A Dangerous Method
A look at how the intense relationship between Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud gives birth to psychoanalysis.
why im going to watch it: i miss keira knightley
20. Larry Crowne
After losing his job, a middle-aged man reinvents himself by going back to college.
why im going to watch it: havent seen Tom Hanks in a while
21. Everything Must Go
When an alcoholic relapses, causing him to lose his wife and his job, he holds a yard sale on his front lawn in an attempt to start over. A new neighbor might be the key to his return to form.
why im going to watch it: curious if its as good as Stranger than Fiction
22. Friends with Benefits
A guy and girl try to keep their relationship strictly physical, but it's not long before they learn that they want something more.
why im going to watch it: i miss harvard graduate Natalie Portman.
23. The Rite
An American priest travels to Italy to study at an exorcism school.
why im going to watch it: anthony hopkins in another thriller
24. Priest
A priest disobeys church law to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece.
why im going to watch it: looks like an interesting sci-fi flick, Maggie Quigley is here and its a priest that disobeyed church law.
25. Rango
A chameleon that aspires to be a swashbuckling hero finds himself in a Western town plagued by bandits and is forced to literally play the role in order to protect it.
why im going to watch it: seems interesting.
26. Rise of the Apes
An origin story set in present day San Francisco, where man's own experiments with genetic engineering lead to the development of intelligence in apes and the onset of a war for supremacy.
why im going to watch it: i like sci-fi films. and freida pinto is also here
27. Sherlock Holmes 2
Sherlock Holmes and his sidekick Dr. Watson join forces to outwit and bring down their fiercest adversary, Professor Moriarty.
why im going to watch it: Mycroft and Moriarty finally appears in the film. ive read most of the short stories and some of the novels.
28. Your Highness
When Prince Fabious's bride is kidnapped, he goes on a quest to rescue her... accompanied by his lazy useless brother Thadeous.
why im going to watch it: natalie portman with zooey deschanel. and this completes the three films of natalie portman for 2011.
29. Source Code
An action thriller centered on a soldier who wakes up in the body of an unknown man and discovers he's part of a mission to find the bomber of a Chicago commuter train.
why im going to watch it: another sci-fi film that looks interesting
30. Fright Night
A remake of the comedy-horror picture about a teenager who discovers his new next-door neighbor is a vampire.
why im going to watch it: i dont know. might have some entertainment value.
31. Hangover II
why im going to watch it: aside from i liked the first one...Jamie Chung is here! might watch Suckerpunch too because of her.
32. Hanna
A 14-year-old who was raised by her father to be a cold-hearted killing machine connects with a French family who look to help ease her into a more conventional life.
why im going to watch it: looks interesting.
33. Hugo Cabret
Set in 1930s Paris, an orphan who lives in the walls of a train station is wrapped up in a mystery involving his late father and an automaton.
why im going to watch it: looks interesting too
34. Immortals
Greek warrior Theseus battles against imprisoned titans.
why in going to watch it: might be interesting. will wait for the trailer.
35. Kane and Lynch
A pair of Death Row inmates, a mercenary named Kane and a schizophrenic named Lynch, escape during a prison transport and team up to retrieve a stolen fortune. Based on a video game.
why im going to watch it: bruce willis and jamie foxx and its an action flick. not a good enough reason but a not so bad one either.
36. Kung Fu Panda 2
Po joins forces with a group of new kung-fu masters to take on an old enemy with a deadly new weapon.
why im going to watch it: its kung fu panda.
37. Movie 43
A feature-film comprised of short comedy segments.
why im going to watch it: might not be good but it has an interesting cast
38. One Day
A romantic comedy centered on Dexter and Emma, who first meet during their graduation in 1988 and proceed to reunite one day each year for the next 20 years.
why im going to watch it: might just feel like watching it.
39. Super
After his wife falls under the influence of a drug dealer, an everyday guy transforms himself into Crimson Bolt, a superhero with the best intentions, though he lacks for heroic skills.
why im going to watch it: rainn wilson with ellen page. reminds me of their conversation in Juno.
40. Super 8
why im going to watch it: might be a good sci-film. no plot details yet.
41. The Tree of Life
The story centers around a family with three boys in the 1950s. The eldest son witnesses the loss of innocence.
why im going to watch it: looks like an interesting drama/fantasy film
42. Unknown
A man awakens from a coma, only to discover that someone has taken on his identity and that no one, (not even his wife), believes him. With the help of a young woman, he sets out to prove who he is.
why im going to watch it: might be as good as Taken.
43. Vanishing on 7th street
When a massive power outage plunges the city of Detroit into total darkness, a disparate group of individuals find themselves alone. The entire city's population has vanished into thin air, leaving behind heaps of empty clothing, abandoned cars and lengthening shadows. Soon the daylight begins to disappear completely, and as the survivors gather in an abandoned tavern, they realize the darkness is out to get them, and only their rapidly diminishing light sources can keep them safe
why im going to watch it: i like the plot
44. The Way Back
A fact-based story centered on soldiers who escaped from a Siberian gulag in 1940.
why im going to watch it: looks like an interesting film
45. Zookeeper
The animals at one particular zoo decide to break their code of silence in order to help their lovable zookeeper gain the attention of one particular woman.
why im going to watch it: i dont know.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
getting physical
i dont understand why people insist that ive lost weight when the weighing scale says otherwise. ever since the bar exams ended, i did not significantly lose any weight (since fluctuations of plus or minus two pounds occur due to food intake). i actually maintained my end of september weight until the end of november. by the end of november, i started to gradually gain weight (a bit earlier than expected since my previous observations have shown that i gain weight after three months of more or less consistent diet). i monitor it with our weighing scale which isnt defective. a number of people use it, even my cousin (our weighing scale has been consistent so far, so no reason to doubt its effectivity and validity of its reading). i have now fully gained the weight ive lost during the bar review. now comes the more difficult part of gaining more. i need to gain more since im more or less 20 pounds underweight. and as i try to gain more weight, i need to improve my coordination and maintain my agility. why? because even if im physically unfit, my coordination has not substantially deteriorated and my agility remained fairly good. these two things are some of the things im going to miss as i grow older. i would like to make use of it while i still have it or while i can still do it and i expect it to become poor as i gain weight unless i intentionally improve it.
right now, i think ive injured my left hand due to the bar exams (writing a lot of essays really wore out my hand). i feel a sharp pain on my knuckle area when i hold something in a particular way and its a bit more difficult to clench compared with my right hand. as for my right hand, its prone to the carpal tunnel syndrome.
right now, i think ive injured my left hand due to the bar exams (writing a lot of essays really wore out my hand). i feel a sharp pain on my knuckle area when i hold something in a particular way and its a bit more difficult to clench compared with my right hand. as for my right hand, its prone to the carpal tunnel syndrome.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Nooooo!!!
earlier today, i dropped by the nearby korean convenience store to buy some samyang ramyun. there were very limited stock of the cup noodles and they said its been weeks since their last delivery of samyang. and they dont know when they will have new ones! now im thinking of looking for it in other korean convenience stores. i tried eating other cup noodles but i really liked the samyang brand. and its not because its soshi endorsed. i only learned they were its endorsers after i got hooked to the noodles (but i will have to admit i was influenced by them in finally deciding to buy chucks). anyway, i bought two of the few remaining stock of the samyang cup ramyun and my brother bought from me one of the two cups i bought (well, i wouldnt just give it away freely). just when i already found my default cup noodle brand and was about to get attached to it, it gets taken away from me. at least i still have my default potato chips.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
leave it to chance
the random DVD pick. last sunday, i was at the xmas bazaar of a nearby church. one of the stalls sold DVDs (why do sellers of pirated DVDs have a distinctive black plastic bag? the plastic bag makes it so obvious to everyone that you just bought pirated DVDs). my sister was checking the korean titles when she saw My Girlfriend is a Fox. she thought it was some lame film because of the title and she showed it to me. i said its a good TV series and she should buy it. she just gave me a puzzled look (since its difficult for most people to determine whether im joking or not). the vendor backed me up and said its really a good program. she was only half convinced so i ended up buying it. the reason i knew about the program is because Hyomin is in it (one of the cast members of Invincible Youth and one my favorite cast member). as for the random DVD pick, i asked whether they have Hayao Miyazaki films. the vendor had no idea what i was talking about. i said its an anime film. she showed me the anime column. they didnt have it. but when i first looked at the anime column and randomly picked a DVD, i got an Audrey Hepburn movie collection. nice! i have no idea why it was in the anime column but i was glad to have randomly picked it. even if i didnt get what i was looking for (well, i got it a week later anyway when i went to UP), i still got something i like.
the lost rubber fitting. earlier today, i thought of listening to my mp3 player while walking in UP (while thinking of where to go next after buying DVDs). when i put my earphones on, one of them didnt fit right. when i checked it, i learned i lost the rubber fitting of the earbud. i checked my pocket, it wasnt there. i tried using it without the rubber fitting but it just couldnt fit snugly in my ear. so i placed my mp3 player back in my pocket. since i really wanted to listen to music, i tried looking for cheap earphones in the nearby bazaar. i could have just looked for the rubber fitting but i thought what if i didnt lose it in UP? i always have it in my pocket and i could have lost it days ago without noticing it. anyway, i didnt find any earphones so i decided to get some lunch. when i decided to go to SM to window shop, i thought of going back to the place where i took out my mp3 player from my pocket since its nearby. to my surprise, i saw the rubber fitting. it was very dusty so i thought someone must have stepped on it. i gave it a quick wash in a nearby restroom (the shopping center restroom). would i dare use it? the water's a bit dirty and im going to put it in my ear? well, i tried to wipe it clean as much as i can. when i placed the rubber fitting, i found out it wasnt the rubber fitting i lost. the size is different. so where's the rubber fitting i lost? anyway, its still good enough and i was able to use it. when i got home, i replaced it with my spare rubber fittings. what are the chances of finding someone else's rubber fitting for an earbud on the same location i lost mine? now that i think about it, it was really very unhygienic. i dont even lend my earphones to other people and i used one that i just picked from a dusty ground? well, i really wanted to listen to music and my right ear does not seem to be infected or anything. i have the tendency to be reckless when i want something so much.
the lost rubber fitting. earlier today, i thought of listening to my mp3 player while walking in UP (while thinking of where to go next after buying DVDs). when i put my earphones on, one of them didnt fit right. when i checked it, i learned i lost the rubber fitting of the earbud. i checked my pocket, it wasnt there. i tried using it without the rubber fitting but it just couldnt fit snugly in my ear. so i placed my mp3 player back in my pocket. since i really wanted to listen to music, i tried looking for cheap earphones in the nearby bazaar. i could have just looked for the rubber fitting but i thought what if i didnt lose it in UP? i always have it in my pocket and i could have lost it days ago without noticing it. anyway, i didnt find any earphones so i decided to get some lunch. when i decided to go to SM to window shop, i thought of going back to the place where i took out my mp3 player from my pocket since its nearby. to my surprise, i saw the rubber fitting. it was very dusty so i thought someone must have stepped on it. i gave it a quick wash in a nearby restroom (the shopping center restroom). would i dare use it? the water's a bit dirty and im going to put it in my ear? well, i tried to wipe it clean as much as i can. when i placed the rubber fitting, i found out it wasnt the rubber fitting i lost. the size is different. so where's the rubber fitting i lost? anyway, its still good enough and i was able to use it. when i got home, i replaced it with my spare rubber fittings. what are the chances of finding someone else's rubber fitting for an earbud on the same location i lost mine? now that i think about it, it was really very unhygienic. i dont even lend my earphones to other people and i used one that i just picked from a dusty ground? well, i really wanted to listen to music and my right ear does not seem to be infected or anything. i have the tendency to be reckless when i want something so much.
the pizza that never came
this contains the sad story of a highway accident i saw earlier today. well, i didnt witness the accident as it occurred. i saw it when the road accident was all done and all the participants that could have been injured have been injured.
i went to UP earlier today to buy some DVDs and look at the xmas bazaar near the Parish of the Holy Sacrifice. i was looking for a DVD of Invincible Youth and Hello Baby. there was none. fortunately, there was a DVD of Hayao Miyazaki films. its not complete (it doesnt have Spirited Away and Kiki's Delivery Service) but it has most of the titles ive lost (i lent my copies of Hayao Miyazaki films to a friend and he never returned them) including My Neighbor Totoro. i also bought a DVD of Cowboy Bebop TV series. at least this one is complete. i think (i havent checked).
then i went to UP Shopping Center to get me some lunch. ive been looking for jajangmyeon but i cant find a place that sells it so i settled for jajang rice. it wasnt good but its not that bad either. i would probably voluntarily eat one again if i have no other choice. thats what i mean when i say its not bad. there's still a possibility that i might eat one again.
after eating lunch, i decided to go to SM and do some window shopping. while riding a UP Philcoa jeepney, i saw the road accident i was talking about earlier. along Commonwealth Ave near the u-turn slot, there were several motorcycles parked around two men. one man was sitting with knee bent, cringing in pain. the other man was lying face down. he was either unconscious or paralyzed. the man lying face down was a delivery guy for local pizza chain. the accident wasnt bloody but looking at one of the injured men, it really looked serious. its a bit amusing that the other motorcycles that were surrounding the injured men were delivery guys from different fastfood chains. since i was riding a jeepney, didnt know what happened to the injured guys.
after seeing the road accident, i started wondering about the person who ordered the pizza. he or she wont get it within the usual reasonable time (he or she might not get the delivery at all if its for a specific event). will the pizza chain inform him that the delivery guy met an unfortunate accident? what if it was for a party? think of the hungry party attendees. will the delivery guy spend his christmas in the hospital? what about the hospital bills? road accidents suck. road accidents involving fast food deliveries suck more. if i was the person who ordered the pizza, not only will i not receive the food, im not entitled to get pissed either. its damnum abseque injuria even if i ordered pizza for a big event.
i have a nice title but i didnt write a good story for it. not in the mood to take the pizza delivery guy's point of view and come up with a story. besides, after seeing the accident, i decided to go home since i really felt bad for the injured delivery guy (christmas is just around the corner and he would probably spend some hard earned money for his injuries). i was no longer in the mood to window shop.
i went to UP earlier today to buy some DVDs and look at the xmas bazaar near the Parish of the Holy Sacrifice. i was looking for a DVD of Invincible Youth and Hello Baby. there was none. fortunately, there was a DVD of Hayao Miyazaki films. its not complete (it doesnt have Spirited Away and Kiki's Delivery Service) but it has most of the titles ive lost (i lent my copies of Hayao Miyazaki films to a friend and he never returned them) including My Neighbor Totoro. i also bought a DVD of Cowboy Bebop TV series. at least this one is complete. i think (i havent checked).
then i went to UP Shopping Center to get me some lunch. ive been looking for jajangmyeon but i cant find a place that sells it so i settled for jajang rice. it wasnt good but its not that bad either. i would probably voluntarily eat one again if i have no other choice. thats what i mean when i say its not bad. there's still a possibility that i might eat one again.
after eating lunch, i decided to go to SM and do some window shopping. while riding a UP Philcoa jeepney, i saw the road accident i was talking about earlier. along Commonwealth Ave near the u-turn slot, there were several motorcycles parked around two men. one man was sitting with knee bent, cringing in pain. the other man was lying face down. he was either unconscious or paralyzed. the man lying face down was a delivery guy for local pizza chain. the accident wasnt bloody but looking at one of the injured men, it really looked serious. its a bit amusing that the other motorcycles that were surrounding the injured men were delivery guys from different fastfood chains. since i was riding a jeepney, didnt know what happened to the injured guys.
after seeing the road accident, i started wondering about the person who ordered the pizza. he or she wont get it within the usual reasonable time (he or she might not get the delivery at all if its for a specific event). will the pizza chain inform him that the delivery guy met an unfortunate accident? what if it was for a party? think of the hungry party attendees. will the delivery guy spend his christmas in the hospital? what about the hospital bills? road accidents suck. road accidents involving fast food deliveries suck more. if i was the person who ordered the pizza, not only will i not receive the food, im not entitled to get pissed either. its damnum abseque injuria even if i ordered pizza for a big event.
i have a nice title but i didnt write a good story for it. not in the mood to take the pizza delivery guy's point of view and come up with a story. besides, after seeing the accident, i decided to go home since i really felt bad for the injured delivery guy (christmas is just around the corner and he would probably spend some hard earned money for his injuries). i was no longer in the mood to window shop.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
i miss the original G7
season one of Invincible Youth has ended (well, about to end). havent found good quality subs for episode 33 onwards. hope they go ahead with season two next year. and if they do, they should try to bring back the original G7. but i think the chance of that happening is slim.
well, i will have to settle with My Girlfriend is a Gumiho for now.
well, i will have to settle with My Girlfriend is a Gumiho for now.
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
i guess they werent lying...
when people say that some things are good for you. in this case, food.
since october, i started avoiding "unhealthy" food (fastfood, softdrinks and junk food). around november, i tried adding some nutritious food in my diet (more veggies and fruits, sweet potatoes for breakfast, soybean custard from time to time). only now did i realize that i havent been feeling any physical discomfort or body pain lately. my headaches arent as frequent (but my mood still hasnt changed. so it could mean my mood is not related to my physical health). i substantially reduced my "pork intake". when i ate a lot of pork the other night coupled with pork sisig the day before, i felt some sharp pain in my intestine area. so i guess i shouldnt eat pork frequently and stick to chicken, fish and veggies. but i when i ate KFC's Double Down (something that looks very unhealthy), it felt like a light snack to me (and i didnt feel any discomfort whatsoever, as opposed to a college friend who said he felt some neck pain after eating one. i could easily consume two, maybe three). the only fastfood item that has an apparent adverse effect on me is McDonalds' Double Cheeseburger. well, before, when it wasnt listed in the menu (the Double Cheeseburger wasnt posted in the menu before but when i ask at the counter if they have one available, they say they have it but i have to wait for a few minutes. i didnt mind because why would they prepare one beforehand when its not listed in the first place? i dont remember how i knew about it though. its like the free coffee refills in the morning). back then, when i eat Mcdonalds' Double Cheesburger, i always feel my chest tighten. i really liked this burger because it was greasy, really greasy. i like greasy burgers (thats why i discourage my siblings to go a certain burger place in Cubao because their burgers werent greasy at all). but when i order one now, it doesnt give me that same "crap, i might be having a heart attack" feeling anymore. thats why i order the Quarter Pounder instead (i really hope the McRib becomes available here).
not sure if its due to my healthier diet that caused the improvement of my physical condition (as usual, i have doubts). what im sure of is, it coincided with it. im going to stick to the healthier diet but i will reward myself with unhealthy ones from time to time. thats one of the reasons why i improved my diet in the first place, so i can eat unhealthy food for a long time. i dont want to grow old and have a lot of food restrictions. unhealthy food is one of the few things i can look forward to and enjoy when im old.
in a very unrelated but could be remotely connected note, i dont get why Audrey Hepburn hates pastries. its one the best edible things one can sink one's teeth in. well, im not completely convinced with what i just said but right now, im reminiscing about the cupcake i just ate yesterday. maybe i was just really tired and hungry yesterday
since october, i started avoiding "unhealthy" food (fastfood, softdrinks and junk food). around november, i tried adding some nutritious food in my diet (more veggies and fruits, sweet potatoes for breakfast, soybean custard from time to time). only now did i realize that i havent been feeling any physical discomfort or body pain lately. my headaches arent as frequent (but my mood still hasnt changed. so it could mean my mood is not related to my physical health). i substantially reduced my "pork intake". when i ate a lot of pork the other night coupled with pork sisig the day before, i felt some sharp pain in my intestine area. so i guess i shouldnt eat pork frequently and stick to chicken, fish and veggies. but i when i ate KFC's Double Down (something that looks very unhealthy), it felt like a light snack to me (and i didnt feel any discomfort whatsoever, as opposed to a college friend who said he felt some neck pain after eating one. i could easily consume two, maybe three). the only fastfood item that has an apparent adverse effect on me is McDonalds' Double Cheeseburger. well, before, when it wasnt listed in the menu (the Double Cheeseburger wasnt posted in the menu before but when i ask at the counter if they have one available, they say they have it but i have to wait for a few minutes. i didnt mind because why would they prepare one beforehand when its not listed in the first place? i dont remember how i knew about it though. its like the free coffee refills in the morning). back then, when i eat Mcdonalds' Double Cheesburger, i always feel my chest tighten. i really liked this burger because it was greasy, really greasy. i like greasy burgers (thats why i discourage my siblings to go a certain burger place in Cubao because their burgers werent greasy at all). but when i order one now, it doesnt give me that same "crap, i might be having a heart attack" feeling anymore. thats why i order the Quarter Pounder instead (i really hope the McRib becomes available here).
not sure if its due to my healthier diet that caused the improvement of my physical condition (as usual, i have doubts). what im sure of is, it coincided with it. im going to stick to the healthier diet but i will reward myself with unhealthy ones from time to time. thats one of the reasons why i improved my diet in the first place, so i can eat unhealthy food for a long time. i dont want to grow old and have a lot of food restrictions. unhealthy food is one of the few things i can look forward to and enjoy when im old.
in a very unrelated but could be remotely connected note, i dont get why Audrey Hepburn hates pastries. its one the best edible things one can sink one's teeth in. well, im not completely convinced with what i just said but right now, im reminiscing about the cupcake i just ate yesterday. maybe i was just really tired and hungry yesterday
Sunday, December 05, 2010
Saturday, December 04, 2010
no pain, no gain
Invincible Youth is a korean television program about girls coming from different top Kpop girl groups doing actual farm work in a certain rural area in South Korea. its a half reality, half variety show. after seeing one episode, i got hooked. i managed to watch until episode 32 earlier this week and im looking for episodes 33 onwards. its difficult to find a subbed episode after episode 32 because the cast members that are also part of Girls Generation (SNSD) left after episode 32 (so the subbers of the program stopped subbing it unless there's an episode involving members of SNSD). i need to find fansubs of other Kpop groups to find the latter episodes (aaah, fansubs and their fansubbers. our modern day copyright infringers and the "enemy" of profit-sensitive corporations. from anime to manga to Kpop. i should have used this topic for a legal research paper)
the primary shooting location is a typical rural house in a farming village. they personally built the restroom in the first episode (i think the girls didnt use it after the first episode since its only a soy sauce jar buried in the ground. in a latter episode, a cast member asked that the prize for the game be the privilege to use any restroom in the farming village). this house serves as the "set" for the program which visitors can visit during non-shooting days. they only shoot the program for one whole day (i think. based from my observation. it starts very early in the morning and ends late in the afternoon, sometimes evening). usually, a day's filming is equivalent to one episode. there are no scripts (except a few lines used for the opening part or ending part) so they just need to shoot continuously for the entire day, collect all the footage and edit it.
the cast members are members of top Kpop girl groups (this is what caught my attention to watch the program, obviously). there's seven of them from 6 different girl groups, one for each group except SNSD which has two representatives (hence seven). it makes use of a multi-camera set-up (same as How I Met Your Mother. but if i remember correctly, How I Met Your Mother takes 2-3 days to shoot for a half an hour program. or it takes 2-3 days to edit the footage?). i think they usually use at least 14 cameras simultaneously. some cameras are used for multi-angle shots while others are used to follow the members as they go around the shooting location.
the cast members are given tasks involving farm work (planting lettuce, planting rice, grafting eggplants, harvesting crops, etc) and other rural livelihood activities (raising livestock, making tofu, making kimchi, selling their produce, applying for a loan, etc). initially people would think its scripted and "fake" but after seeing many episodes, it can be seen that the cast members do the actual work and the multi-camera set-up is useful in showing this (the edited footage can sometimes show that the cast members did the actual work from start to finish). of course the opening lines and themes are scripted but everything else in between arent. the crew just keeps shooting the cast members wherever they go and after getting a lot of footage, they edit it. thats why some cast members dont get much air time because their footage arent good enough for broadcast (which also became a running joke for the cast members). the program isnt just reality TV, its also a variety show. so its not about just performing the task (which became an initial complaint since some cast members do a lot of work and its not even shown in the broadast), its about performing the task in an entertaining manner or having quotable lines. so the show's hosts (which also perform the tasks assigned for each episode) always joke that the program is becoming a documentary when they realize everyone is too busy working or too involved in the task. in order to make it more entertaining, they insert games or gags while working. they also do games on who gets ownership of the livestock or a particular farm produce. some cast members have the knack of working in an entertaining manner, some dont. so it took some time for some cast members to the concept of half reality, half variety show and how to get more air time.
another thing i like about the program (what i like about it most is that it involves members of girls groups, not only SNSD) is that it promotes the lifestyle in the rural area. i think the show also gave upon itself the project of making the farming village a venue for hands-on farming for tourists and visitors. it doesnt only inform the viewers how to properly do farm work (one cast member even had to apply for a license to operate farming equipments) but it invites them to visit the area and experience some of the farm work themselves. well, i think. i havent reached that far in the episodes. i really dont know what happened after members of SNSD left the program. im still looking for the latter episodes. i think a program like this would be a lot of help here. im not talking about just farming. i think its still debateable what kind of industry the Philippines should focus on. once that's been determined, programs that entice people to work under such industry should be made to promote it. programs that promote self sufficiency and employment.
this video basically sums up what i just said (credit to uploader auradreamer):
the primary shooting location is a typical rural house in a farming village. they personally built the restroom in the first episode (i think the girls didnt use it after the first episode since its only a soy sauce jar buried in the ground. in a latter episode, a cast member asked that the prize for the game be the privilege to use any restroom in the farming village). this house serves as the "set" for the program which visitors can visit during non-shooting days. they only shoot the program for one whole day (i think. based from my observation. it starts very early in the morning and ends late in the afternoon, sometimes evening). usually, a day's filming is equivalent to one episode. there are no scripts (except a few lines used for the opening part or ending part) so they just need to shoot continuously for the entire day, collect all the footage and edit it.
the cast members are members of top Kpop girl groups (this is what caught my attention to watch the program, obviously). there's seven of them from 6 different girl groups, one for each group except SNSD which has two representatives (hence seven). it makes use of a multi-camera set-up (same as How I Met Your Mother. but if i remember correctly, How I Met Your Mother takes 2-3 days to shoot for a half an hour program. or it takes 2-3 days to edit the footage?). i think they usually use at least 14 cameras simultaneously. some cameras are used for multi-angle shots while others are used to follow the members as they go around the shooting location.
the cast members are given tasks involving farm work (planting lettuce, planting rice, grafting eggplants, harvesting crops, etc) and other rural livelihood activities (raising livestock, making tofu, making kimchi, selling their produce, applying for a loan, etc). initially people would think its scripted and "fake" but after seeing many episodes, it can be seen that the cast members do the actual work and the multi-camera set-up is useful in showing this (the edited footage can sometimes show that the cast members did the actual work from start to finish). of course the opening lines and themes are scripted but everything else in between arent. the crew just keeps shooting the cast members wherever they go and after getting a lot of footage, they edit it. thats why some cast members dont get much air time because their footage arent good enough for broadcast (which also became a running joke for the cast members). the program isnt just reality TV, its also a variety show. so its not about just performing the task (which became an initial complaint since some cast members do a lot of work and its not even shown in the broadast), its about performing the task in an entertaining manner or having quotable lines. so the show's hosts (which also perform the tasks assigned for each episode) always joke that the program is becoming a documentary when they realize everyone is too busy working or too involved in the task. in order to make it more entertaining, they insert games or gags while working. they also do games on who gets ownership of the livestock or a particular farm produce. some cast members have the knack of working in an entertaining manner, some dont. so it took some time for some cast members to the concept of half reality, half variety show and how to get more air time.
another thing i like about the program (what i like about it most is that it involves members of girls groups, not only SNSD) is that it promotes the lifestyle in the rural area. i think the show also gave upon itself the project of making the farming village a venue for hands-on farming for tourists and visitors. it doesnt only inform the viewers how to properly do farm work (one cast member even had to apply for a license to operate farming equipments) but it invites them to visit the area and experience some of the farm work themselves. well, i think. i havent reached that far in the episodes. i really dont know what happened after members of SNSD left the program. im still looking for the latter episodes. i think a program like this would be a lot of help here. im not talking about just farming. i think its still debateable what kind of industry the Philippines should focus on. once that's been determined, programs that entice people to work under such industry should be made to promote it. programs that promote self sufficiency and employment.
this video basically sums up what i just said (credit to uploader auradreamer):
Friday, December 03, 2010
hit the snooze button
im the type of person who can quickly slip into the dream world when i take a nap. if im really tired or sleepy, the moment i close my eyes, i start dreaming already. its different when i sleep at night. it takes some time before dreams materialize. the vivid ones usually come between 5am to 7am. i guess it appears vivid to me because its near my waking time and i remember most of it.
dreaming is like altering one's consciousness. like when i take a nap or simply doze off while sitting in my office chair, when i start dreaming, its as if im automatically transported into another world and i simply accept it without objection. one moment im sitting in my office, minutes after i close my eyes, im in a coffee shop talking to an absolute stranger. i dont try to determine whether its a dream or not. sitting with a stranger in a coffee shop is a dead give away im in a dream. i just accept it as what it presents itself to be and go with the flow of the dream (unless i dont like where its heading then i try to alter its course). since im only taking a nap, the slightest noise from the real world would wake me up and i get pulled out of that coffee shop back to my chair inside my office room. the sudden change of environment doesnt disorient me. i know that i was just dreaming (but there are dreams that are so captivating that the moment i wake up, i absolutely feel i have no idea where i am or what day it is. for some weird reason, i like it when that happens). at the same time, it makes me feel i teleported from one world to another. it makes me feel like i exist simultaneously in two different worlds. since i cant have a simultaneous consciousness of both, i merely switch between the two consciousness, where im on autopilot on the consciousness im not presently with (so when im awake, my other consciousness that exists in the subconcious is just there, waiting for me to revert back to it). i think when people zone out in the real world, its as if they're trying to reach the other consciousness they have that exists in their subconscious without going to sleep. i think this is when the two consciousness almost meet but not quite.
anyway, its because of dreams that i find sleep addictive. dreams are much more interesting than the real world. its a place where one can let go of himself. i become violent in my dreams and i consider it as an indication that i have some frustrations building up and its my other consciousness telling me to find an outlet in the real world for this stored anger. its also in dreams where people have the opportunity to spend time with people they want to spend time with or cant spend time with, whether deceased or living. death has no power in people's dreams. if it has, its merely an illusion. dreams are simply fascinating.
i wrote this entry about dreams because i had a peculiar dream weeks ago. it involved riding elevators. i cant remember much of it now but that dream has left a deep impression on me. and i just need to put it in writing here in case i need to remember it someday. this is the purpose of this blog after all.
in that particular dream, i just kept riding elevators. not that i stayed in it the whole time. i got out of course. it was as if i was running an errand or doing work similar to a messenger. i enter the elevator, go up several floors, step out, accomplish what i need to accomplish in that floor, return to the elevator, go down, then repeat the whole cycle again on another floor. i kept repeating this until i entered the elevator with two guys in it. not that the elevator was empty when i used it before but in this instance, there was something about these guys. and this time, i was heading towards the top most floor. when i stepped out the elevator, the two guys also stepped out and introduced themselves as Life and Experience. i simply nodded and thought to myself, "sounds like im in some low budget corny movie". now that i think about it, it could be some philosophical comedy. anyway, i went to the reception area of that floor. i was instructed to go to another building and go to the room of lady named Chandra Gupta. during the dream, i thought the name sounded familiar (i had to google it days later since the name wasnt leaving my head. when i found out what the name was all about, i didnt even bother finding out more. it bored me). so i went to the other building, which looked like its four decades old and just 30 storeys high. but im supposed to go to the 200 plus floor. that cant be right, i said to myself. but i entered the building's elevator anyway. i didnt press any button. it went up on its own. like a scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, it went higher than the building and learned i was riding a glass elevator. so up it went and i reached Chandra's floor. she was a middle aged woman, beautiful and if i were asked to give her a name that would suit her, i would say Monica. maybe because her hairstyle resembled Monica Lewinsky's. but her face looked as if it was a reflection of wisdom. she was casually dressed and gives off an impression of just being an average middle age woman with good looks. its only upon closer inspection of her face that one starts to think she might not be as average as she appears to be. its like she has some vast knowledge secretly hidden within her. anyway, the dream didnt end there but i cant remember what happened afterwards. the last thing i can remember was that i asked for some chocolate or chocolate cake.
some people would try to find some profound meaning or psychic interpretation in their dreams (like my cousin). i dont. if i do, i merely do it to amuse myself (or others. probably). i seriously dont think dreams have any significant meaning that needs thorough analysis and interpretation. if there's any meaning to it, i think its simply a reflection of what we cant express in the real world, like stored anger or deep sorrow or inexplicable happiness. as for the weird dream i just narrated, i just think i have use for it someday and i dont want to forget about it. i dont think im going to meet someone named Chandra Gupta (as opposed to the nagging feeling ive been having regarding a girl named Mika. its been weeks since ive felt i should be careful of a girl named Mika, in case i meet one in the next 6 months) or that i should take note of the elevator occupants whenever i ride it. i think its just something interesting that there's no harm in noting.
dreaming is like altering one's consciousness. like when i take a nap or simply doze off while sitting in my office chair, when i start dreaming, its as if im automatically transported into another world and i simply accept it without objection. one moment im sitting in my office, minutes after i close my eyes, im in a coffee shop talking to an absolute stranger. i dont try to determine whether its a dream or not. sitting with a stranger in a coffee shop is a dead give away im in a dream. i just accept it as what it presents itself to be and go with the flow of the dream (unless i dont like where its heading then i try to alter its course). since im only taking a nap, the slightest noise from the real world would wake me up and i get pulled out of that coffee shop back to my chair inside my office room. the sudden change of environment doesnt disorient me. i know that i was just dreaming (but there are dreams that are so captivating that the moment i wake up, i absolutely feel i have no idea where i am or what day it is. for some weird reason, i like it when that happens). at the same time, it makes me feel i teleported from one world to another. it makes me feel like i exist simultaneously in two different worlds. since i cant have a simultaneous consciousness of both, i merely switch between the two consciousness, where im on autopilot on the consciousness im not presently with (so when im awake, my other consciousness that exists in the subconcious is just there, waiting for me to revert back to it). i think when people zone out in the real world, its as if they're trying to reach the other consciousness they have that exists in their subconscious without going to sleep. i think this is when the two consciousness almost meet but not quite.
anyway, its because of dreams that i find sleep addictive. dreams are much more interesting than the real world. its a place where one can let go of himself. i become violent in my dreams and i consider it as an indication that i have some frustrations building up and its my other consciousness telling me to find an outlet in the real world for this stored anger. its also in dreams where people have the opportunity to spend time with people they want to spend time with or cant spend time with, whether deceased or living. death has no power in people's dreams. if it has, its merely an illusion. dreams are simply fascinating.
i wrote this entry about dreams because i had a peculiar dream weeks ago. it involved riding elevators. i cant remember much of it now but that dream has left a deep impression on me. and i just need to put it in writing here in case i need to remember it someday. this is the purpose of this blog after all.
in that particular dream, i just kept riding elevators. not that i stayed in it the whole time. i got out of course. it was as if i was running an errand or doing work similar to a messenger. i enter the elevator, go up several floors, step out, accomplish what i need to accomplish in that floor, return to the elevator, go down, then repeat the whole cycle again on another floor. i kept repeating this until i entered the elevator with two guys in it. not that the elevator was empty when i used it before but in this instance, there was something about these guys. and this time, i was heading towards the top most floor. when i stepped out the elevator, the two guys also stepped out and introduced themselves as Life and Experience. i simply nodded and thought to myself, "sounds like im in some low budget corny movie". now that i think about it, it could be some philosophical comedy. anyway, i went to the reception area of that floor. i was instructed to go to another building and go to the room of lady named Chandra Gupta. during the dream, i thought the name sounded familiar (i had to google it days later since the name wasnt leaving my head. when i found out what the name was all about, i didnt even bother finding out more. it bored me). so i went to the other building, which looked like its four decades old and just 30 storeys high. but im supposed to go to the 200 plus floor. that cant be right, i said to myself. but i entered the building's elevator anyway. i didnt press any button. it went up on its own. like a scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, it went higher than the building and learned i was riding a glass elevator. so up it went and i reached Chandra's floor. she was a middle aged woman, beautiful and if i were asked to give her a name that would suit her, i would say Monica. maybe because her hairstyle resembled Monica Lewinsky's. but her face looked as if it was a reflection of wisdom. she was casually dressed and gives off an impression of just being an average middle age woman with good looks. its only upon closer inspection of her face that one starts to think she might not be as average as she appears to be. its like she has some vast knowledge secretly hidden within her. anyway, the dream didnt end there but i cant remember what happened afterwards. the last thing i can remember was that i asked for some chocolate or chocolate cake.
some people would try to find some profound meaning or psychic interpretation in their dreams (like my cousin). i dont. if i do, i merely do it to amuse myself (or others. probably). i seriously dont think dreams have any significant meaning that needs thorough analysis and interpretation. if there's any meaning to it, i think its simply a reflection of what we cant express in the real world, like stored anger or deep sorrow or inexplicable happiness. as for the weird dream i just narrated, i just think i have use for it someday and i dont want to forget about it. i dont think im going to meet someone named Chandra Gupta (as opposed to the nagging feeling ive been having regarding a girl named Mika. its been weeks since ive felt i should be careful of a girl named Mika, in case i meet one in the next 6 months) or that i should take note of the elevator occupants whenever i ride it. i think its just something interesting that there's no harm in noting.
two when tee seven
Twenty seven. its a nice sounding age. "how old are you?" twenty seven. "please write your age". 27. its old but not that old. it looks good. it has a certain appeal to it. its weird i havent given much attention to it. i already have something planned by the time i reach 28. i also came up with something when i was 26. but i havent really given much thought how im going to use my 27th year.
the thought occurred to me while i was staring at the back of left hand inside my office earlier today. i just finished my lunch 15 minutes earlier when i felt my hands were drying up again (its the dishwashing paste i used when i cleaned my utensils after i ate my lunch). it has become a habit for me to look at my hand from time to time. i remember back in college, a classmate caught me staring blankly at my right palm during class. she just came back from the rest room and was about to go back to her seat. she was seated in front me. when i sensed someone was walking at my right side, i looked up from my seat and there she was, giving me a puzzled look. a look that says "are you high or something? why the hell are you staring at your right palm in the middle of a class lecture?" well, i was staring at it because the wrinkles on my hands indicate how old i am. seeing the wrinkly skin on my hands really makes me feel old and it immerses me in some deep thought relating to years and lifetime.
seeing the wrinkly skin of the back of my left hand reminded me i just turned twenty seven. it made me realize i havent given much thought what i will do as a twenty seven year old guy. i already have plans until i reach 28 but those are mostly related to work. thats just one aspect of one's life. if twenty seven is some kind of bottle that needs to be filled up to reach age 28, the plans i have now probably just fill, at the most, half of it. i need to think of the other aspects that i will need to do to fill up my 27th year. not that its necessary to think about it but i think its better to have something planned than nothing. its easier to discard or revise plans along the way when something unforeseeable or unavoidable occurs compared to coming up with something out of thin air. some would argue life is much more exciting when one implements the latter approach. but at this age, ive realized that opportunities are lost through that approach too. life can be harsh. well, life is harsh. there's no such thing as a demandable right to be given a second chance. as much as possible, i would rather minimize my regrets. if i do need to do something regretful, i make sure im prepared for the consequences. im no longer that college kid who used to say that im ready to die any moment because ive lived my life without regrets. the older i got, the more i realized how many opportunities ive lost.
so how will i make use of my 27th year? well, the stuff i have in store for my 28th year needs some preparation and a lot of hard work to pull it off. so am i going to spend my 27th year anticipating the 28th? well, my work plans already intends to address this concern. so what i need are plans that will supplement my current plans and make things interesting.
the thought occurred to me while i was staring at the back of left hand inside my office earlier today. i just finished my lunch 15 minutes earlier when i felt my hands were drying up again (its the dishwashing paste i used when i cleaned my utensils after i ate my lunch). it has become a habit for me to look at my hand from time to time. i remember back in college, a classmate caught me staring blankly at my right palm during class. she just came back from the rest room and was about to go back to her seat. she was seated in front me. when i sensed someone was walking at my right side, i looked up from my seat and there she was, giving me a puzzled look. a look that says "are you high or something? why the hell are you staring at your right palm in the middle of a class lecture?" well, i was staring at it because the wrinkles on my hands indicate how old i am. seeing the wrinkly skin on my hands really makes me feel old and it immerses me in some deep thought relating to years and lifetime.
seeing the wrinkly skin of the back of my left hand reminded me i just turned twenty seven. it made me realize i havent given much thought what i will do as a twenty seven year old guy. i already have plans until i reach 28 but those are mostly related to work. thats just one aspect of one's life. if twenty seven is some kind of bottle that needs to be filled up to reach age 28, the plans i have now probably just fill, at the most, half of it. i need to think of the other aspects that i will need to do to fill up my 27th year. not that its necessary to think about it but i think its better to have something planned than nothing. its easier to discard or revise plans along the way when something unforeseeable or unavoidable occurs compared to coming up with something out of thin air. some would argue life is much more exciting when one implements the latter approach. but at this age, ive realized that opportunities are lost through that approach too. life can be harsh. well, life is harsh. there's no such thing as a demandable right to be given a second chance. as much as possible, i would rather minimize my regrets. if i do need to do something regretful, i make sure im prepared for the consequences. im no longer that college kid who used to say that im ready to die any moment because ive lived my life without regrets. the older i got, the more i realized how many opportunities ive lost.
so how will i make use of my 27th year? well, the stuff i have in store for my 28th year needs some preparation and a lot of hard work to pull it off. so am i going to spend my 27th year anticipating the 28th? well, my work plans already intends to address this concern. so what i need are plans that will supplement my current plans and make things interesting.
Thursday, December 02, 2010
day in and day out
there's nothing to blog about lately. nothing new or nothing out of the ordinary or nothing worth writing about is happening. each day is substantially the same since i started working last october. i wake up around 8am. i eat my breakfast (i started having sweet potatoes for breakfast as an attempt to consume nutritious food. if there are no sweet potatoes, then my breakfast would be pandesal. there are days i get to have half a liter of soybean custard). then i brush my teeth (i shave if im in the mood or if i need to appear in court), take a bath, get dressed then walk to my office. its a 5-10 minute walk. i reach my office a little past 9am.
going to work is a bit out of the ordinary because its like going to batman's bat cave (if batman considers his cave as his office. but i dont see myself as batman. i dont have the required moral fiber). instead of going to an ordinary building lobby, the most convenient entrance to my office is passing through the dark basement parking with its leaking pipes (so i always need to make sure there are no cars that are about to exit the basement parking before i start walking down the narrow ramp and be careful of the puddles of water). since the elevator isnt working, i have to take four flights of stairs that lead to a dark lobby that has three wooden divan-like furnitures with animal sculptures. the only lighted area in the 2nd floor is the inside of my office (the walls of the office facing the lobby are made of glass). actually, the entire floor is my office and its lobby is dark simply because there are no working light bulbs. there are no signs either that would indicate its an office. the only thing posted on the door is the time of the office lunch break.
the scent of cigarette smoke is what greets anyone that enters the lobby (and stale cigarette smoke when they enter the actual office).
my room is located at the far end of the office, at the end of a corridor. it has a typical wooden desk, one swivel chair for me and two wooden chairs for clients. the only object on my desk is a paper tray containing office notices (whether i received calls while im out of the office, instructions for research to be done, etc), documents ive reviewed or written and papers containing the research ive done. i always return the books ive read when im done using it. there's a filing cabinet at one corner of my room, two monoblock chairs (one of which has a stack of case files), stacks of case files on the floor and cobwebs on the ceiling. i have no computer (so i use my laptop. in effect, i dont have an internet connection since the office doesnt have wifi). when i need to do some online research, i will have to borrow the secretary's computer (but i rarely need to go online. the office library and the law materials i have in my laptop are usually enough). the office also doesnt have running water. most people would find such an office depressing but after some time, its not really bad as it first appears to be. its a fully functioning office and its not as inconvenient as it sounds. i think its very much like a typical office in the mid-90s.
there are days when there's a lot to do. there are days when the work load is just right. there are days when i do nothing at all (so i do bum around in the office. but not everyday). in any case, i always finish my work within a satisfactory period. i dont miss a deadline and they tell me i work really fast. even when i worked for an NGO last year, in my exit interview, they told me that i do work quickly or i get the job done faster than they expected. i guess the normal pace for me is faster compared to most people (thats why fastfood counters arent fast enough for me and one of the primary sources of frustration. a slow internet speed still remains the most frustrating experience). an officemate joked that i shouldnt finish my work too quickly because my boss might get used to it. i might set a new standard in accomplishing work and it would be burdensome for others, including me because im raising expectations. as for the quality of work, no one has complimented me about it and no one has complained either. what they always notice is my speed. so i guess my work is good enough. well, i dont aim for an excellent work anyway. ive always been an advocate of "substantial compliance" since high school. if i think its good enough, its good enough.
when the day's work is done, i walk home. once i get home, i eat some snacks while i go online to check emails (its the time of the day i can finally have some internet time). the moment i enter my room, i change my clothes, unpack my laptop and switch it on. after i check my emails, i watch youtube videos until midnight. i eat my dinner at 7pm, do some night rituals by 11pm and sleep by midnight. whenever i eat dinner, i need to be watching something on TV. so when i find something really good to watch, i sometimes take a break from watching online videos.
this is my usual routine during the weekdays when no external forces intervene. i try not to change it since it allows me to go on autopilot. it makes time fly by faster.
going to work is a bit out of the ordinary because its like going to batman's bat cave (if batman considers his cave as his office. but i dont see myself as batman. i dont have the required moral fiber). instead of going to an ordinary building lobby, the most convenient entrance to my office is passing through the dark basement parking with its leaking pipes (so i always need to make sure there are no cars that are about to exit the basement parking before i start walking down the narrow ramp and be careful of the puddles of water). since the elevator isnt working, i have to take four flights of stairs that lead to a dark lobby that has three wooden divan-like furnitures with animal sculptures. the only lighted area in the 2nd floor is the inside of my office (the walls of the office facing the lobby are made of glass). actually, the entire floor is my office and its lobby is dark simply because there are no working light bulbs. there are no signs either that would indicate its an office. the only thing posted on the door is the time of the office lunch break.
the scent of cigarette smoke is what greets anyone that enters the lobby (and stale cigarette smoke when they enter the actual office).
my room is located at the far end of the office, at the end of a corridor. it has a typical wooden desk, one swivel chair for me and two wooden chairs for clients. the only object on my desk is a paper tray containing office notices (whether i received calls while im out of the office, instructions for research to be done, etc), documents ive reviewed or written and papers containing the research ive done. i always return the books ive read when im done using it. there's a filing cabinet at one corner of my room, two monoblock chairs (one of which has a stack of case files), stacks of case files on the floor and cobwebs on the ceiling. i have no computer (so i use my laptop. in effect, i dont have an internet connection since the office doesnt have wifi). when i need to do some online research, i will have to borrow the secretary's computer (but i rarely need to go online. the office library and the law materials i have in my laptop are usually enough). the office also doesnt have running water. most people would find such an office depressing but after some time, its not really bad as it first appears to be. its a fully functioning office and its not as inconvenient as it sounds. i think its very much like a typical office in the mid-90s.
there are days when there's a lot to do. there are days when the work load is just right. there are days when i do nothing at all (so i do bum around in the office. but not everyday). in any case, i always finish my work within a satisfactory period. i dont miss a deadline and they tell me i work really fast. even when i worked for an NGO last year, in my exit interview, they told me that i do work quickly or i get the job done faster than they expected. i guess the normal pace for me is faster compared to most people (thats why fastfood counters arent fast enough for me and one of the primary sources of frustration. a slow internet speed still remains the most frustrating experience). an officemate joked that i shouldnt finish my work too quickly because my boss might get used to it. i might set a new standard in accomplishing work and it would be burdensome for others, including me because im raising expectations. as for the quality of work, no one has complimented me about it and no one has complained either. what they always notice is my speed. so i guess my work is good enough. well, i dont aim for an excellent work anyway. ive always been an advocate of "substantial compliance" since high school. if i think its good enough, its good enough.
when the day's work is done, i walk home. once i get home, i eat some snacks while i go online to check emails (its the time of the day i can finally have some internet time). the moment i enter my room, i change my clothes, unpack my laptop and switch it on. after i check my emails, i watch youtube videos until midnight. i eat my dinner at 7pm, do some night rituals by 11pm and sleep by midnight. whenever i eat dinner, i need to be watching something on TV. so when i find something really good to watch, i sometimes take a break from watching online videos.
this is my usual routine during the weekdays when no external forces intervene. i try not to change it since it allows me to go on autopilot. it makes time fly by faster.
Monday, November 29, 2010
just another simple sunday
most people like their own birthdays. i do too. i like its month. i like its date. i like its year. what i dont like is people making a fuss about it. well, recently, thats what i dont like about it. i just dont like receiving the kind of attention people give to people on their birthdays. thats why this year, i thought my birthday went well compared to recent years. it went like just another simple sunday. i didnt even feel it was my birthday.
like most kids, i like celebrating my birthday. i get excited the same way as im excited when christmas day arrives. but as i grew older, i got less enthusiastic about it. maybe it was the gift receiving part. im not that interested in receiving gifts anymore. not that i dont want gifts, i just can go on without receiving any. i dont have strong feelings regarding receiving gifts (but then again, i dont have strong feelings for most things). and like i said, i dont like receiving too much attention. being the moody person that i am, i dont want to receive attention when im not in the mood to have any. it really makes me uncomfortable. in the previous years, i felt everyone was waiting for me to come out of my room so they can greet me. it makes me start my day feeling weird.
this year, i spent my birthday with less personal greetings. and i managed not to think it was my birthday most of the day. i ate lunch with my family at a mall's foodcourt (because i wanted the crispy ribs and kimchi of Kimchi), watched the first half of the 7th installment of Harry Potter with my siblings and accompanied my sister buy her new pair of shoes. the day wasnt about me, it was like any other typical mall day. it was nice. i guess im the type that gets too mindful its my birthday that it heightens my expectations and i ruin it for myself when people dont meet my standards. thats why i would rather forget its my birthday so i can enjoy it more. reminds me of a commercial of a Tv program in JackTV. that the key to happiness is lowered expectations. its meant to be a joke but it makes a lot of sense and in a way a bit sad that there's some truth in it.
anyway, im greeting myself a happy birthday. and im offering myself this birthday card given to me by college blockmates a few years ago. how self-centered can i get that im greeting myself and giving myself a card (well, i enjoy it when im self-centered). i took this pic during the bar review. for some reason, i just felt like going down memory lane after a tiring review day.
like most kids, i like celebrating my birthday. i get excited the same way as im excited when christmas day arrives. but as i grew older, i got less enthusiastic about it. maybe it was the gift receiving part. im not that interested in receiving gifts anymore. not that i dont want gifts, i just can go on without receiving any. i dont have strong feelings regarding receiving gifts (but then again, i dont have strong feelings for most things). and like i said, i dont like receiving too much attention. being the moody person that i am, i dont want to receive attention when im not in the mood to have any. it really makes me uncomfortable. in the previous years, i felt everyone was waiting for me to come out of my room so they can greet me. it makes me start my day feeling weird.
this year, i spent my birthday with less personal greetings. and i managed not to think it was my birthday most of the day. i ate lunch with my family at a mall's foodcourt (because i wanted the crispy ribs and kimchi of Kimchi), watched the first half of the 7th installment of Harry Potter with my siblings and accompanied my sister buy her new pair of shoes. the day wasnt about me, it was like any other typical mall day. it was nice. i guess im the type that gets too mindful its my birthday that it heightens my expectations and i ruin it for myself when people dont meet my standards. thats why i would rather forget its my birthday so i can enjoy it more. reminds me of a commercial of a Tv program in JackTV. that the key to happiness is lowered expectations. its meant to be a joke but it makes a lot of sense and in a way a bit sad that there's some truth in it.
anyway, im greeting myself a happy birthday. and im offering myself this birthday card given to me by college blockmates a few years ago. how self-centered can i get that im greeting myself and giving myself a card (well, i enjoy it when im self-centered). i took this pic during the bar review. for some reason, i just felt like going down memory lane after a tiring review day.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
losing a whole year
i went to cubao earlier today to have my driver's license renewed. i even asked permission from the office secretary that i will be late for work today because of the renewal. when i reached the LTO center in cubao, the guy asked for my license and i gave it to him. i was surprised with what he said. my license isnt due to expire until next year! i checked my license and he was right! what the?
i checked the date in my license the night before (and days before because i was convinced that its supposed to expire this year) and i remember reading that its supposed to expire in 2011. problem is, i forgot its only 2010. ever since 2008-2009, whenever i compute years, for some strange reason, i count 2010 and 2011 as one. not that i see them as one year but its either i forget about 2010 or i forget about 2011. after 2009, i only count one year then i quickly skip to 2012. i think im too eager to be in 2012.
i checked the date in my license the night before (and days before because i was convinced that its supposed to expire this year) and i remember reading that its supposed to expire in 2011. problem is, i forgot its only 2010. ever since 2008-2009, whenever i compute years, for some strange reason, i count 2010 and 2011 as one. not that i see them as one year but its either i forget about 2010 or i forget about 2011. after 2009, i only count one year then i quickly skip to 2012. i think im too eager to be in 2012.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
i miss seeing 5am with a smile on my face
right now, im just waiting for the clock to strike 12. im too tired to read or study anything and ive watched all the vids i can watch for today (i try to estimate the vids whether i will finish watching it before 12). im really trying to get an average of 7 hours of sleep each day (but i usually end up with 8 hours). ive been observing my hours of sleep for months and i noticed that if i sleep after 1am, i get pimples (and i get them in a particular area of my face and all over my scalp). if i sleep beyond 8 hours, the skin between my eyes, up to some portion of the skin beneath my eyebrows, gets oily and dry so it ends up looking like i have dandruff on my eyebrows and between my eyes (some say its caused by stress but i noticed that it was really related to the number of sleeping hours).
i really should avoid sleeping beyond 1am because even if i get enough sleep, im bound to get pimples. if i sleep early, i should wake up early and not go beyond 8 hours. thats why im waiting for 12 midnight because i dont like waking up early (so if i sleep by midnight, ideally, i should wake up by 7am, not later than 8am but not earlier than 6am. so i wont oversleep or have too less of it). well, its not that i dont like waking up early but its really more of i dont have reason to wake up. every morning, i just wake up because i dont want to be late for work. before that, its because i dont want to be late for school. i dont wake up because im looking forward to something. or im happy to have another day. well, for a certain time in 2009, i was happy to wake up every morning because i had a reason to wake up (or i was happy to wake up because i have another day to spend and i was looking forward to spend it). so i know how it feels to wake up with a sense of purpose or sense of eagerness to live another day or have the answer to the question posed by the Nescafe classic commercial. waking up this way really makes a lot of difference. unfortunately, waking up in this manner is something that's against my norm. if only i could sleep a lot i would so i wouldnt have to wake up. i love to sleep because i like it more than the moments im awake but i cant spend much time sleeping now. at this age, i cant oversleep anymore. i have to accept the fact that sleeping more than what my body needs is time wasted or time that could be used productively.
i really should avoid sleeping beyond 1am because even if i get enough sleep, im bound to get pimples. if i sleep early, i should wake up early and not go beyond 8 hours. thats why im waiting for 12 midnight because i dont like waking up early (so if i sleep by midnight, ideally, i should wake up by 7am, not later than 8am but not earlier than 6am. so i wont oversleep or have too less of it). well, its not that i dont like waking up early but its really more of i dont have reason to wake up. every morning, i just wake up because i dont want to be late for work. before that, its because i dont want to be late for school. i dont wake up because im looking forward to something. or im happy to have another day. well, for a certain time in 2009, i was happy to wake up every morning because i had a reason to wake up (or i was happy to wake up because i have another day to spend and i was looking forward to spend it). so i know how it feels to wake up with a sense of purpose or sense of eagerness to live another day or have the answer to the question posed by the Nescafe classic commercial. waking up this way really makes a lot of difference. unfortunately, waking up in this manner is something that's against my norm. if only i could sleep a lot i would so i wouldnt have to wake up. i love to sleep because i like it more than the moments im awake but i cant spend much time sleeping now. at this age, i cant oversleep anymore. i have to accept the fact that sleeping more than what my body needs is time wasted or time that could be used productively.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
12 long years of struggling against obsolescence
our home PC is already 12 years old, going for 13 and most likely will reach and finish 13 years.
it malfunctioned yesterday so i had it repaired earlier this day. the reason it gets stuck on the boot screen was because its floppy disk drive was already malfunctioning. if it didnt malfunction, i wouldnt have known that such disk drive still existed in our PC's CPU. i stopped using floppy diskettes a long time ago. i think i was still using it back in college but as early as 3rd year college, i knew that the USB flash drive was the future of portable storage devices. back then it cost around P1300 or P1500 for a thumb drive with a only a few megabytes of disk storage.
anyway, we bought our PC back in 1998 with a Windows 98 operating system. i think it only had a 2gig hard disk. that hard disk crashed in 2003, i think because i downloaded too many songs from napster that i reached its maximum storage space, leaving no room for the OS to operate. i remember leaving the PC on overnight while it downloaded the songs using a 56k dial-up modem. when its hard disk crashed, i had the PC upgraded. the hard disk was upgraded to 20gig and its processor to Pentium 4. i think its RAM was upgraded too. the upgrade costs around P14,000. then a few years later, i think around 2006, since the 20gig hard disk wasnt sufficient, i added another hard disk with a 250 gig capacity. then earlier this year, april 2010, it's video card finally gave in. so i upgraded its video card and added another hard disk, this time only 40 gig, just to replace the 20 gig hard disk as its C drive since the 20 gig hard disk is showing signs of having difficulties in processing stuff and might crash anytime soon. i think the upgrade was around P2000 to P3000. as for the recent malfunction, no repair was needed since no one has used the floppy drive for years and no one will use it anymore. the only thing that needed to be done was deactivate it (which i did improperly thats why i had to bring it to the repairshop).
its keyboard, printer, speaker, soundcard, motherboard and power supply are still the same parts from 1998. its original CD drive has been deactivated since i needed the slot for the hard disk but its still functioning (the newer CD drive is the one that's showing signs that it might stop working sooner or later). its dial-up modem is still there and i dont think it ever broke down. so its still functioning too (if there will come a time that i will use it). its motherboard is so old that it's USB slots are at the back of the CPU (and there's only two so i had to buy additional USB slots) and its difficult to find a compatible RAM for it since it might no longer be in production anymore. the monitor has only been replaced once and it was still back in college. so were still using a CRT monitor.
i still remember the day this PC came to our house. i was so excited and relieved. excited because i already had a love for gadgets since then and the PC back in the 90s was a wonderful creature. relieved because i will no longer struggle using my typewriter. i call it my typewriter because i was the only one that used it. i remember going to the mall to buy its ribbon.
it malfunctioned yesterday so i had it repaired earlier this day. the reason it gets stuck on the boot screen was because its floppy disk drive was already malfunctioning. if it didnt malfunction, i wouldnt have known that such disk drive still existed in our PC's CPU. i stopped using floppy diskettes a long time ago. i think i was still using it back in college but as early as 3rd year college, i knew that the USB flash drive was the future of portable storage devices. back then it cost around P1300 or P1500 for a thumb drive with a only a few megabytes of disk storage.
anyway, we bought our PC back in 1998 with a Windows 98 operating system. i think it only had a 2gig hard disk. that hard disk crashed in 2003, i think because i downloaded too many songs from napster that i reached its maximum storage space, leaving no room for the OS to operate. i remember leaving the PC on overnight while it downloaded the songs using a 56k dial-up modem. when its hard disk crashed, i had the PC upgraded. the hard disk was upgraded to 20gig and its processor to Pentium 4. i think its RAM was upgraded too. the upgrade costs around P14,000. then a few years later, i think around 2006, since the 20gig hard disk wasnt sufficient, i added another hard disk with a 250 gig capacity. then earlier this year, april 2010, it's video card finally gave in. so i upgraded its video card and added another hard disk, this time only 40 gig, just to replace the 20 gig hard disk as its C drive since the 20 gig hard disk is showing signs of having difficulties in processing stuff and might crash anytime soon. i think the upgrade was around P2000 to P3000. as for the recent malfunction, no repair was needed since no one has used the floppy drive for years and no one will use it anymore. the only thing that needed to be done was deactivate it (which i did improperly thats why i had to bring it to the repairshop).
its keyboard, printer, speaker, soundcard, motherboard and power supply are still the same parts from 1998. its original CD drive has been deactivated since i needed the slot for the hard disk but its still functioning (the newer CD drive is the one that's showing signs that it might stop working sooner or later). its dial-up modem is still there and i dont think it ever broke down. so its still functioning too (if there will come a time that i will use it). its motherboard is so old that it's USB slots are at the back of the CPU (and there's only two so i had to buy additional USB slots) and its difficult to find a compatible RAM for it since it might no longer be in production anymore. the monitor has only been replaced once and it was still back in college. so were still using a CRT monitor.
i still remember the day this PC came to our house. i was so excited and relieved. excited because i already had a love for gadgets since then and the PC back in the 90s was a wonderful creature. relieved because i will no longer struggle using my typewriter. i call it my typewriter because i was the only one that used it. i remember going to the mall to buy its ribbon.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
chocolate love
i saw something today that cheered me up after i got home from work. my jaw dropped when i saw the contents of the white plastic bag inside the fridge. it contained chocolates!!!
yeah, i like chocolates a lot. when i still had a better paying job, i drop by 7/11 and buy me some toblerone dark then eat it while walking home (now, i have a new 7/11 item im addicted to. i wonder why groceries dont have this item?). i dont consider chocolates as candies. for me its an entirely different creature from candies (like an ice cream being different from chocolates). i dont like candies very much. thats why when people ask me whether i have some candy, i always answer no and its highly unusual for me to have any (i know a college blockmate who always have some candies in his pockets or bag. i remember he had a whole pack of candies at home). thats why i consider chocolates as a different creature because as opposed to candies, i like it a lot and its hard for me to say no to someone who offers me chocolates (im programmed to say no, politely or not so politely, to anyone who offers me snacks and candies. i dont want putting my hand in another person's bag of chips. usually. there are exceptions as usual).
im thankful that my tongue is only partially damaged. at least i can still taste the chocolate's goodness. i think this defective tongue would be most likely permanent. i asked my dentist cousin about it and he said stuff like this happens. he has a patient that had a numb cheek for 6 months. it will eventually go away he said. well, i havent reached my sixth month from surgery but if this defective tongue doesnt go away, im not sure if im going to sue the dentist. the thing is, litigation is costly and time consuming. and given that there's always a risk involved in surgery and the need to prove negligence to have a stronger, valid claim, filing a suit for damages might not be ideal. well, it depends. i need to study if there is a good cause of action and whether there is in fact negligence. and if there's still a way to correct the damage of course.
well, at least i can still taste and enjoy chocolates even if half of my tongue cant taste it. of all the foods that i like, chocolates made me think of not being able to enjoy it as usual because of my damaged tongue. well, i thought about it too when i tried tasting mcdonalds fries a week after the surgery but when i found that i can still taste it to some extent, i wasnt as bothered as not being able to enjoy chocolates.
yeah, i like chocolates a lot. when i still had a better paying job, i drop by 7/11 and buy me some toblerone dark then eat it while walking home (now, i have a new 7/11 item im addicted to. i wonder why groceries dont have this item?). i dont consider chocolates as candies. for me its an entirely different creature from candies (like an ice cream being different from chocolates). i dont like candies very much. thats why when people ask me whether i have some candy, i always answer no and its highly unusual for me to have any (i know a college blockmate who always have some candies in his pockets or bag. i remember he had a whole pack of candies at home). thats why i consider chocolates as a different creature because as opposed to candies, i like it a lot and its hard for me to say no to someone who offers me chocolates (im programmed to say no, politely or not so politely, to anyone who offers me snacks and candies. i dont want putting my hand in another person's bag of chips. usually. there are exceptions as usual).
im thankful that my tongue is only partially damaged. at least i can still taste the chocolate's goodness. i think this defective tongue would be most likely permanent. i asked my dentist cousin about it and he said stuff like this happens. he has a patient that had a numb cheek for 6 months. it will eventually go away he said. well, i havent reached my sixth month from surgery but if this defective tongue doesnt go away, im not sure if im going to sue the dentist. the thing is, litigation is costly and time consuming. and given that there's always a risk involved in surgery and the need to prove negligence to have a stronger, valid claim, filing a suit for damages might not be ideal. well, it depends. i need to study if there is a good cause of action and whether there is in fact negligence. and if there's still a way to correct the damage of course.
well, at least i can still taste and enjoy chocolates even if half of my tongue cant taste it. of all the foods that i like, chocolates made me think of not being able to enjoy it as usual because of my damaged tongue. well, i thought about it too when i tried tasting mcdonalds fries a week after the surgery but when i found that i can still taste it to some extent, i wasnt as bothered as not being able to enjoy chocolates.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
i really have the knack for not taking seriously stuff that should be taken seriously
just had an interview a few hours ago. it was a nice law firm. it wasnt as intimidating as i initially thought (as usual, my standards are different from actual standards of most people. if i conducted the interview, i would have done it like a "terror" professor, setting a very uncomfortable atmosphere). unfortunately, i didnt bring my A game. actually, i havent brought it for quite some time now (wait, i have an A game? i thought it was against my religion to excel at anything?). when i was riding the bus, heading home after the interview, i was analyzing my interview and how i could have done much better (i should have said this, clarified that, elaborated this, mentioned that, etc).
i left early from my current law office so i could attend the interview for this law firm. i finished the legal research that was assigned to me earlier before leaving. right after i gave the research file to the secretary, i started walking home so i could change to a formal attire for the interview. i reached the law firm 20 minutes before my scheduled time. i have no idea where the law firm is located except its near the Solicitor General's office and i merely estimated the travel time. i thought i was going to be late because i didnt expect that there were only a few passengers at the jeepney terminal around 4:30pm. my interview is scheduled at 5pm. fortunately, the driver didnt wait for his jeep to be filled up. he left the terminal with only five passengers. then the first building i checked for its name was the building of the firm. i just walked a few meters from the solgen's building, checked the name of the building from my PDA and when i randomly stopped in front of a building to check its name, it was already the building i was looking for (my good navigation skill is partially dependent on luck/dirk gently's style of navigation, partially dependent on how well im good at picturing a place from a bird's eye view/wikimapia). so i went in and when i saw the receptionist, i was a bit amused because she was exactly how i pictured her (only half a decade younger. but her face is exactly the same. but the haircut is a bit different). well, that is, if she was the one that called me up regarding the interview (i tried to match a face with the voice while she was telling me about my interview schedule over the phone). if she wasnt the one that called me up, well, she was what i imagined to be sitting at the reception desk of this law firm. so is it a sign im going to get hired here? nah. im just psychic (like the time i was able to imagine how a friend's place would look like).
i was interviewed by three partners of the firm and i didnt bring my A game. i was more focused on not stuttering. i stutter a lot, especially when i have lots of stuff in my mind or have overlapping thoughts. thats why i tell myself im more effective in speaking when im tired. when im tired, my "i dont care, i'll say what i want" self comes to the forefront. im too tired to screen thoughts and words im going to use (im always careful with what i say. thats why a friend tells me that its always a question of semantics when he talks with me. imprecise wordings or vague phrases creates loopholes). unfortunately, its also my most uninhibited self, obviously. so it means i would frown a lot and give an expression that a long conversation is becoming bothersome (or that im getting bored already). but at least i dont stutter and im much more persuasive because my manner of speaking becomes more aggressive and forceful. i dont think thats good in an interview. well anyway, my A game is the midpoint of the two extremes, my stuttering self and the aggressive speaker self. the last time i brought it was half a decade ago. it comes with good theatrics for emphasis. now, i just go to interviews. i sit there and answer questions. i take my time to think and i think im also mindful of not frowning. i really should prepare more. im charging too much to experience that its already an excuse to come unprepared.
i left early from my current law office so i could attend the interview for this law firm. i finished the legal research that was assigned to me earlier before leaving. right after i gave the research file to the secretary, i started walking home so i could change to a formal attire for the interview. i reached the law firm 20 minutes before my scheduled time. i have no idea where the law firm is located except its near the Solicitor General's office and i merely estimated the travel time. i thought i was going to be late because i didnt expect that there were only a few passengers at the jeepney terminal around 4:30pm. my interview is scheduled at 5pm. fortunately, the driver didnt wait for his jeep to be filled up. he left the terminal with only five passengers. then the first building i checked for its name was the building of the firm. i just walked a few meters from the solgen's building, checked the name of the building from my PDA and when i randomly stopped in front of a building to check its name, it was already the building i was looking for (my good navigation skill is partially dependent on luck/dirk gently's style of navigation, partially dependent on how well im good at picturing a place from a bird's eye view/wikimapia). so i went in and when i saw the receptionist, i was a bit amused because she was exactly how i pictured her (only half a decade younger. but her face is exactly the same. but the haircut is a bit different). well, that is, if she was the one that called me up regarding the interview (i tried to match a face with the voice while she was telling me about my interview schedule over the phone). if she wasnt the one that called me up, well, she was what i imagined to be sitting at the reception desk of this law firm. so is it a sign im going to get hired here? nah. im just psychic (like the time i was able to imagine how a friend's place would look like).
i was interviewed by three partners of the firm and i didnt bring my A game. i was more focused on not stuttering. i stutter a lot, especially when i have lots of stuff in my mind or have overlapping thoughts. thats why i tell myself im more effective in speaking when im tired. when im tired, my "i dont care, i'll say what i want" self comes to the forefront. im too tired to screen thoughts and words im going to use (im always careful with what i say. thats why a friend tells me that its always a question of semantics when he talks with me. imprecise wordings or vague phrases creates loopholes). unfortunately, its also my most uninhibited self, obviously. so it means i would frown a lot and give an expression that a long conversation is becoming bothersome (or that im getting bored already). but at least i dont stutter and im much more persuasive because my manner of speaking becomes more aggressive and forceful. i dont think thats good in an interview. well anyway, my A game is the midpoint of the two extremes, my stuttering self and the aggressive speaker self. the last time i brought it was half a decade ago. it comes with good theatrics for emphasis. now, i just go to interviews. i sit there and answer questions. i take my time to think and i think im also mindful of not frowning. i really should prepare more. im charging too much to experience that its already an excuse to come unprepared.
Friday, November 05, 2010
ideas are bulletproof
Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence. Last night I destroyed the Old Bailey, to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.
Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.
Thursday, November 04, 2010
the corporate ministry era was a big joke
i was able to see a short youtube clip about a market researchers meeting and they were trying to think of ways how to "sell" SNSD to young girls in japan. if i remember correctly, they reviewed 6,000 songs (from all over the world, starting from 2008. i guess to determine not only what kind of music appeals to young japanese girls but to also see if there's an emerging trend in pop music) and try to come up with a way how to make the korean girl group appealing to young japanese girls. they're targeting this gender and age bracket because they dont have to worry about the males, whether young or old, because they will "come aboard anyway" (most guys are easily manipulated by pretty women. thats why i ended up buying my cellphone in a particular store, why i ended up choosing a particular pair of shoes, why i ended up getting caught swerving on the road, why i ended up missing a somewhat important appointment, why i ended up...having an aversion for pretty women).
i think their research on how to repackage the korean girl group to their japanese audience was successful because as opposed to the group's fans in korea (which i think are mostly middle aged male fans), their fans in japan are mostly young japanese girls. now this kind of research isnt something new or something very impressive. but seeing how successful this market research team was in doing their job and working with people who knows how to execute their plans based from the data they gathered makes me want to work with these kind of people (i wonder if their expertise is limited to the entertainment industry?). or at least see how they manage to do it. i find it remarkable how they were able to gather all the relevant data they need to target a particular gender and age bracket in a particular country and knowing how to use that data to get the results they want. in short, i want to know the process they have after seeing the effect of their research. the same way i want to know how Lee Sooman was able to create such an impressive creature such as SM Entertainment. of course there are "horror stories" about their kind of management but thats basically how a successful corporation works. fans forget that being a celebrity is work. well, that doesnt justify the management to treat their talents like slaves but there are contracts and lawsuits to regulate the relationship. i dont think it can be considered as forced labor. i think its simply forcing people to work hard and push them to their limits. intense pressure is required to produce diamonds.
i used to hate the corporate world. especially when i was still in my "marxist" phase (a college blockmate used to brand me a communist. and i expected him to know better that communism and marxism are two different animals. i never advocated the establishment of a communist state). now, i still dont like the corporate world but only to a certain extent. im still not comfortable working in a corporate environment. but if there's something that can persuade me to work in a corporate environment (well, its not as if a corporation would want me to work for them), its being able to work for a corporation that's a "moving force" in an influential industry and its operations is not limited to a particular country. or at least a corporation with a big potential to become one.
i think their research on how to repackage the korean girl group to their japanese audience was successful because as opposed to the group's fans in korea (which i think are mostly middle aged male fans), their fans in japan are mostly young japanese girls. now this kind of research isnt something new or something very impressive. but seeing how successful this market research team was in doing their job and working with people who knows how to execute their plans based from the data they gathered makes me want to work with these kind of people (i wonder if their expertise is limited to the entertainment industry?). or at least see how they manage to do it. i find it remarkable how they were able to gather all the relevant data they need to target a particular gender and age bracket in a particular country and knowing how to use that data to get the results they want. in short, i want to know the process they have after seeing the effect of their research. the same way i want to know how Lee Sooman was able to create such an impressive creature such as SM Entertainment. of course there are "horror stories" about their kind of management but thats basically how a successful corporation works. fans forget that being a celebrity is work. well, that doesnt justify the management to treat their talents like slaves but there are contracts and lawsuits to regulate the relationship. i dont think it can be considered as forced labor. i think its simply forcing people to work hard and push them to their limits. intense pressure is required to produce diamonds.
i used to hate the corporate world. especially when i was still in my "marxist" phase (a college blockmate used to brand me a communist. and i expected him to know better that communism and marxism are two different animals. i never advocated the establishment of a communist state). now, i still dont like the corporate world but only to a certain extent. im still not comfortable working in a corporate environment. but if there's something that can persuade me to work in a corporate environment (well, its not as if a corporation would want me to work for them), its being able to work for a corporation that's a "moving force" in an influential industry and its operations is not limited to a particular country. or at least a corporation with a big potential to become one.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
I think we may class the lawyer in the natural history of monsters. - john keats
last week, i was with my brother and my cousin at my cousin's friend's house. there my cousin commented that all three of us (me and my siblings) have "fine arts" running in our blood. but it was only me who didnt pursue it and took up law instead. she said this allowed both my siblings to pursue their fine arts related careers (my cousin's friend is a fine arts graduate/painter. i think. i just woke up then and was asked to tag along). it gave her the impression i took up my law studies against my will.
well, not really. i gave up on drawing as early as high school. i abandoned it completely the moment i decided not to continue my UP College of Fine Arts application. i decided to take up law when i was in 3rd year college. not because i thought lawyering was awesome but because i was interested in the field. its hard for us to like lawyering because we grew up being taught lawyering is about defending people and getting paid in kind (like eggs, live poultry, seafood, etc), not in cash (so if lawyering is as simple as that, it looks boring and not very rewarding). and if there is cash payment, i thought its not much because my lawyer relatives arent rich. if theyre rich, theyre not solely working as lawyers. they have businesses too. point is, we werent told that lawyering could be a lucrative profession. i only learned about it when i was in law school already. i see lawyers portrayed in movies and television but what i notice are their courtroom battles and not their wealth. the suits dont mean anything except being well dressed.
when i was already in law school, i rarely had doubts whether i wanted to be a laywer. when i decided to take up law back in college, i was determined to finish it. i may not have finished on time, but i did finish it. and in the years i was in law school, what confirmed that i wanted to be a lawyer was when i was in OLA. what i did in OLA confirmed what i wanted to do. lawyering is something i wanted to do and i find it enjoyable. so taking up law and finishing it is not against my will. i think i give off this impression probably because i want to do a lot of things and at the same time, im not passionate with my law studies. i guess im simply a person thats not very passionate with most things. this particular cousin have seen how happy i can be (something that rarely happens and only less than a handful of people have witnessed. seriously, less than a handful) and she never saw me to be like that with regard to my law studies. so its understandable to get that impression.
now, im working in a law office as a legal researcher, with a salary a little higher than the minimum wage. i keep telling other people that im still looking for other law offices to transfer to because i need to save some money. but im not really exerting much effort. im starting to think i really dont want to leave my current office. i may not be earning much but im getting good exposure with the variety of cases being handled. its a good place to learn. its a good place to practice. the only downside is the pay is not good. i think the reason im not eager to look for other law offices is because i still think lawyering isnt about making money (i should never think its about making money). this is my childhood concept of lawyering and im sort of living it. well, sort of and not completely since im not a lawyer yet but this is how ive always thought how lawyering is. to be asked to defend people without much monetary rewards. its not that im not into money making or something to that effect. its just that ive always thought that if im going to make money, its not through lawyering. thats why im trying to look for other ways to earn.
anyway, not sure if i can stay long in this current office since what this law office needs is a lawyer and not much of a legal researcher. and i cant work for free because i need to earn too.
well, not really. i gave up on drawing as early as high school. i abandoned it completely the moment i decided not to continue my UP College of Fine Arts application. i decided to take up law when i was in 3rd year college. not because i thought lawyering was awesome but because i was interested in the field. its hard for us to like lawyering because we grew up being taught lawyering is about defending people and getting paid in kind (like eggs, live poultry, seafood, etc), not in cash (so if lawyering is as simple as that, it looks boring and not very rewarding). and if there is cash payment, i thought its not much because my lawyer relatives arent rich. if theyre rich, theyre not solely working as lawyers. they have businesses too. point is, we werent told that lawyering could be a lucrative profession. i only learned about it when i was in law school already. i see lawyers portrayed in movies and television but what i notice are their courtroom battles and not their wealth. the suits dont mean anything except being well dressed.
when i was already in law school, i rarely had doubts whether i wanted to be a laywer. when i decided to take up law back in college, i was determined to finish it. i may not have finished on time, but i did finish it. and in the years i was in law school, what confirmed that i wanted to be a lawyer was when i was in OLA. what i did in OLA confirmed what i wanted to do. lawyering is something i wanted to do and i find it enjoyable. so taking up law and finishing it is not against my will. i think i give off this impression probably because i want to do a lot of things and at the same time, im not passionate with my law studies. i guess im simply a person thats not very passionate with most things. this particular cousin have seen how happy i can be (something that rarely happens and only less than a handful of people have witnessed. seriously, less than a handful) and she never saw me to be like that with regard to my law studies. so its understandable to get that impression.
now, im working in a law office as a legal researcher, with a salary a little higher than the minimum wage. i keep telling other people that im still looking for other law offices to transfer to because i need to save some money. but im not really exerting much effort. im starting to think i really dont want to leave my current office. i may not be earning much but im getting good exposure with the variety of cases being handled. its a good place to learn. its a good place to practice. the only downside is the pay is not good. i think the reason im not eager to look for other law offices is because i still think lawyering isnt about making money (i should never think its about making money). this is my childhood concept of lawyering and im sort of living it. well, sort of and not completely since im not a lawyer yet but this is how ive always thought how lawyering is. to be asked to defend people without much monetary rewards. its not that im not into money making or something to that effect. its just that ive always thought that if im going to make money, its not through lawyering. thats why im trying to look for other ways to earn.
anyway, not sure if i can stay long in this current office since what this law office needs is a lawyer and not much of a legal researcher. and i cant work for free because i need to earn too.
Monday, November 01, 2010
detox just to retox
ive been putting off having a healthier lifestyle for years. its just so much effort and im the type who spends more effort trying to find ways in doing things with less effort but not necessarily short cuts (something like the "one time, big time" philosophy or the "great exertion for making the constitution"). and living a healthier lifestyle doesnt seem to have that kind of less effort. one needs to really do it consistently over a certain period of time.
anyway, its been a month since ive been contemplating to live a healthier lifestyle. so im starting to be more convinced that this isnt just a phase and that i might be really serious about it. as with most of my undertakings, i try to make sure its not going to be a waste of my effort. this reminds me of a "tristanism" where its better to put things off for tomorrow. life is unsure and death can come at night while one sleeps. due to this possibility and lingering uncertainty of waking up the day after, its better to do one's work for tomorrow if it can wait because it would be a waste of effort to finish it early and die during the night. imagine spending one's remaining moments working instead of relaxing. i honestly believed in this back in college. some would say its a crammer's excuse but it really makes sense. if i finish stuff early and i died before the deadline of the work, i wasted my time working because the work i finished wouldnt matter anymore when im dead. if i died with some unfinished work, i think its better because i think its a time well spent relaxing or spent enjoying the remaining moments of one's life (of course, like most things in life, one needs to strike a balance, the never ending "juggling act")
going back, im really starting to be very mindful of having a healthier lifestyle. i dont smoke (well, my last stick was earlier this year and it didnt bring back the habit. so up until today, i only smoked not more than 5 cigarette sticks this year), i substantially reduced my alcohol intake (in every instance of drinking session, i only consume not more than 3 bottles of beer. its sad but lately i developed a strong dislike for beer. it started last year), im currently cutting down my pork consumption, less carbonated drinks, more water, less fast food (im the type who eats fast food on a daily basis. right now, i would consider it a success to have eaten only three quarter pounders and twister fries last month), starting to eat veggies from time to time (i really dont like fish and veggies) and i dont sleep for more than 8 hours. im aiming for an average of seven hours of sleep which i partially accomplished. earlier last month, i was able to establish a nice sleeping pattern. i go to sleep by 12 midnight, wakeup around 7-730. unfortunately, i broke that pattern and started sleeping around 3:30 to 4:30 and i wake up at 8am. so now, my scalp and my left chin are filled with pimples and i cant stop falling asleep in the office by 10am. and im also consuming less coffee and more green tea. not sure if milk tea is good but i crave for it from time to time.
i really find living a healthier lifestyle boring and annoying. but for some strange reason, im strongly persuading myself to do it. this is usually a new year's resolution but i keep telling myself not to wait. a new year is a man-made fiction so there's really no point waiting for two more months. so this month, im aiming to focus on the healthy foods im going to take (because last month was more on avoiding the bad stuff) and the possibility of increased physical activity (something i really want to do but too lazy to do it because its really a lot of effort). but even with no physical activity, im amazed that i managed to stay agile and flexible, meaning my coordination is still very good and my stiffness is more apparent than real. an officemate said that i walk briskly, with a straight posture, like a PMA cadet (which made me think whether i should revert to my old flat top haircut. the white side wall is too much).
i dont know why i have this...urge (well, not really urge but something close to it) to live a healthier lifestyle. i dont like it but like some things i do, i do it because i feel compelled to do it.
anyway, its been a month since ive been contemplating to live a healthier lifestyle. so im starting to be more convinced that this isnt just a phase and that i might be really serious about it. as with most of my undertakings, i try to make sure its not going to be a waste of my effort. this reminds me of a "tristanism" where its better to put things off for tomorrow. life is unsure and death can come at night while one sleeps. due to this possibility and lingering uncertainty of waking up the day after, its better to do one's work for tomorrow if it can wait because it would be a waste of effort to finish it early and die during the night. imagine spending one's remaining moments working instead of relaxing. i honestly believed in this back in college. some would say its a crammer's excuse but it really makes sense. if i finish stuff early and i died before the deadline of the work, i wasted my time working because the work i finished wouldnt matter anymore when im dead. if i died with some unfinished work, i think its better because i think its a time well spent relaxing or spent enjoying the remaining moments of one's life (of course, like most things in life, one needs to strike a balance, the never ending "juggling act")
going back, im really starting to be very mindful of having a healthier lifestyle. i dont smoke (well, my last stick was earlier this year and it didnt bring back the habit. so up until today, i only smoked not more than 5 cigarette sticks this year), i substantially reduced my alcohol intake (in every instance of drinking session, i only consume not more than 3 bottles of beer. its sad but lately i developed a strong dislike for beer. it started last year), im currently cutting down my pork consumption, less carbonated drinks, more water, less fast food (im the type who eats fast food on a daily basis. right now, i would consider it a success to have eaten only three quarter pounders and twister fries last month), starting to eat veggies from time to time (i really dont like fish and veggies) and i dont sleep for more than 8 hours. im aiming for an average of seven hours of sleep which i partially accomplished. earlier last month, i was able to establish a nice sleeping pattern. i go to sleep by 12 midnight, wakeup around 7-730. unfortunately, i broke that pattern and started sleeping around 3:30 to 4:30 and i wake up at 8am. so now, my scalp and my left chin are filled with pimples and i cant stop falling asleep in the office by 10am. and im also consuming less coffee and more green tea. not sure if milk tea is good but i crave for it from time to time.
i really find living a healthier lifestyle boring and annoying. but for some strange reason, im strongly persuading myself to do it. this is usually a new year's resolution but i keep telling myself not to wait. a new year is a man-made fiction so there's really no point waiting for two more months. so this month, im aiming to focus on the healthy foods im going to take (because last month was more on avoiding the bad stuff) and the possibility of increased physical activity (something i really want to do but too lazy to do it because its really a lot of effort). but even with no physical activity, im amazed that i managed to stay agile and flexible, meaning my coordination is still very good and my stiffness is more apparent than real. an officemate said that i walk briskly, with a straight posture, like a PMA cadet (which made me think whether i should revert to my old flat top haircut. the white side wall is too much).
i dont know why i have this...urge (well, not really urge but something close to it) to live a healthier lifestyle. i dont like it but like some things i do, i do it because i feel compelled to do it.
rainy first day of november
its november already. i wonder how this month will turn out? october was quite nice. it was a "love" filled month. im not sure if it was the months of isolation and reviewing but october, or last month, was a month where people gave me a lot of "love". people just made me felt they were there and that they care, even if im always neither here nor there (just wanted to add another phrase that rhymes) for them. i guess what made me notice it more was the fact that i wasnt expecting any kind of such form of affection from others. my interaction with family and friends last month made me felt appreciated. or something to that effect. its not something i yearn because i usually prefer recognition than appreciation but its nice. its nice to be thought of as a good friend.
ever since i became the silent type, i never saw myself as a "good" friend. even my high school friend and law school friend tell me this. they say i never care about anybody or anyone (another law school friend would counter that i just pretend not to care. my actions speak otherwise). i just mind my own business, not meddle with other people's affairs and do my own thing. i just attended a high school mini-reunion the other day and my friend said he's very sure that out of all the people in that gathering, im the one who is most clueless who the crap most of the people in that room are. he was right. i can recognize only 1/3 of my high school batchmates and out of that 1/3, i cant even remember the names of the others. he said its because i dont care about other people. i have a to "hell with everybody else" attitude. well, to a certain extent, that is true. if im not interested, i wont exert any effort to be interested. its a waste of energy. then why the hell did i attend the reunion? well, i was interested to attend (and its a saturday night. there are times when i hate to be at home on a saturday night). unfortunately, that doesnt mean im curious about what everybody was doing. in a way, i might be interested but i just dont want to exert that much effort. i think i was more curious than interested.
im also like that as a friend. people say im this nice person but i doubt anyone has ever described as that person who's always there in times of need of others. well, i have the reputation of being reliable. and i think a cousin and a few friends have described me as such person (i just realized how inaccurate my first statement was. as usual, i just think as i write). i guess im just good at being there at the right moments. its not that i go out of my way to help others. nor am i mindful of being there for others. ive always seen myself as that friend you shouldnt put your entire trust on. but some would counter that's just my weird way of caring for others. point is, i just dont see myself as a good friend. but now that i think about it (just now), maybe i am. maybe im stuck in my old view of myself, when i was this person that can quickly abandon people simply because i can. there are billions of people on this planet, and since i was a kid, ive always had this belief that i can be friends with anyone i want. so no friend is indispensable. of course i learned the hard way that its not entirely true but because of pride, i would rather let things be than make things right. a lot of things from my past haunt me.
in an unrelated note, my habit of having a middle man to communicate with others resurfaced. i dont know where i picked up this habit. its sort of automatic for me to speak only with people i want to talk to or im used to talking to. just yesterday, a salesman tried to talk to me about their shoes and i didnt even look at him. i merely gestured that he talk to my brother. well, if it was a saleslady, that wouldnt have been the case. even if its my brother who would buy the shoes, im the one who's going to do the talking. and i also prefer if the salespeople not approach me when im buying something. i would like them to wait to be called. it disrupts my train of thought when im checking stuff out.
well, october was a nice month. i wouldnt want november to be the same. it will either bore me or i might abuse the "blessings" im getting. more likely the former.
ever since i became the silent type, i never saw myself as a "good" friend. even my high school friend and law school friend tell me this. they say i never care about anybody or anyone (another law school friend would counter that i just pretend not to care. my actions speak otherwise). i just mind my own business, not meddle with other people's affairs and do my own thing. i just attended a high school mini-reunion the other day and my friend said he's very sure that out of all the people in that gathering, im the one who is most clueless who the crap most of the people in that room are. he was right. i can recognize only 1/3 of my high school batchmates and out of that 1/3, i cant even remember the names of the others. he said its because i dont care about other people. i have a to "hell with everybody else" attitude. well, to a certain extent, that is true. if im not interested, i wont exert any effort to be interested. its a waste of energy. then why the hell did i attend the reunion? well, i was interested to attend (and its a saturday night. there are times when i hate to be at home on a saturday night). unfortunately, that doesnt mean im curious about what everybody was doing. in a way, i might be interested but i just dont want to exert that much effort. i think i was more curious than interested.
im also like that as a friend. people say im this nice person but i doubt anyone has ever described as that person who's always there in times of need of others. well, i have the reputation of being reliable. and i think a cousin and a few friends have described me as such person (i just realized how inaccurate my first statement was. as usual, i just think as i write). i guess im just good at being there at the right moments. its not that i go out of my way to help others. nor am i mindful of being there for others. ive always seen myself as that friend you shouldnt put your entire trust on. but some would counter that's just my weird way of caring for others. point is, i just dont see myself as a good friend. but now that i think about it (just now), maybe i am. maybe im stuck in my old view of myself, when i was this person that can quickly abandon people simply because i can. there are billions of people on this planet, and since i was a kid, ive always had this belief that i can be friends with anyone i want. so no friend is indispensable. of course i learned the hard way that its not entirely true but because of pride, i would rather let things be than make things right. a lot of things from my past haunt me.
in an unrelated note, my habit of having a middle man to communicate with others resurfaced. i dont know where i picked up this habit. its sort of automatic for me to speak only with people i want to talk to or im used to talking to. just yesterday, a salesman tried to talk to me about their shoes and i didnt even look at him. i merely gestured that he talk to my brother. well, if it was a saleslady, that wouldnt have been the case. even if its my brother who would buy the shoes, im the one who's going to do the talking. and i also prefer if the salespeople not approach me when im buying something. i would like them to wait to be called. it disrupts my train of thought when im checking stuff out.
well, october was a nice month. i wouldnt want november to be the same. it will either bore me or i might abuse the "blessings" im getting. more likely the former.
Friday, October 29, 2010
its thursday already?
its been more than a month since the bar exams ended. and from the time it ended, ive went out with close friends, i got some temporary work where i attended a couple of hearings, did a handful of legal research work, joined a T-shirt making contest (where my design looked good on paper but when i drew it on the T-shirt, it looked like a grade school wall grafitti. my drawing style never evolved since i stopped drawing), trying to learn japanese (with a very slow progress. im just starting katakana after three weeks of hiragana. damn it! i should have taken my japanese class back in college seriously), finished two books (one law related book, another non-law related, about halfway done with a political science book and about to start another non-law related book), watched an "audrey hepburn movie" on a pirated DVD, lost a key (which is a big deal for me since i nicknamed myself as "the keymaster" back in high school because im always entrusted with the key/s to something. this is the first time i lost a key. but there have been instances where i got locked out because i forgot to bring my keys. thats different because i never really lost the keys, i just forgot it), gets a daily dose of SoShi, cutting down on pork and trying to drink sufficient amounts of water (because i can last a day with only half a glass of water and its not good for my health, especially given my height and size. i really need more fluids).
so October has been a productive month, with a good sense of direction. i managed to keep myself busy but not too busy. im starting to be mindful of my health because it seems there's a bigger chance that i will not die young. so if im going to go beyond the age i thought i would drop dead, i would like to be in good physical condition to still be able to eat meat (and other foods unhealthy people arent allowed to eat). and not have wrinkly skin too early (ever since college, i sometimes look at my palm and fingers, stare at it for a few minutes and think to myself how old my skin looks like). whenever i think of this, i remember my college blockmate who said to me that she thinks im a very vain person, that my scruffy look/"i dont care about my appearance" is either a front or actually my sense of style. well, i didnt admit it then but its really the latter. its a sense of style in a sense because i intentionally put an effort not to make an effort in the way i look. its time consuming and a waste energy. so if im going to go for an "i dont care about my appearance" look, might as well look good doing it (look good doing it means making sure i look i dont care). well, "staying in character" is something that comes naturally to me.
october will be over in a few days. i guess i wont be able to buy the Eheads greenwich promo. wasnt able to come up with enough money. well, i do have enough money but i dont have extra money to use it for the greenwich promo. im an eheads fan but there are some other more important things my money should buy. i guess i just dont want it enough. my sense of desire for most stuff is really weak. its either that or im just dont like putting much effort unless its extremely necessary.
so October has been a productive month, with a good sense of direction. i managed to keep myself busy but not too busy. im starting to be mindful of my health because it seems there's a bigger chance that i will not die young. so if im going to go beyond the age i thought i would drop dead, i would like to be in good physical condition to still be able to eat meat (and other foods unhealthy people arent allowed to eat). and not have wrinkly skin too early (ever since college, i sometimes look at my palm and fingers, stare at it for a few minutes and think to myself how old my skin looks like). whenever i think of this, i remember my college blockmate who said to me that she thinks im a very vain person, that my scruffy look/"i dont care about my appearance" is either a front or actually my sense of style. well, i didnt admit it then but its really the latter. its a sense of style in a sense because i intentionally put an effort not to make an effort in the way i look. its time consuming and a waste energy. so if im going to go for an "i dont care about my appearance" look, might as well look good doing it (look good doing it means making sure i look i dont care). well, "staying in character" is something that comes naturally to me.
october will be over in a few days. i guess i wont be able to buy the Eheads greenwich promo. wasnt able to come up with enough money. well, i do have enough money but i dont have extra money to use it for the greenwich promo. im an eheads fan but there are some other more important things my money should buy. i guess i just dont want it enough. my sense of desire for most stuff is really weak. its either that or im just dont like putting much effort unless its extremely necessary.
Monday, October 25, 2010
fertile minds
i watched a cosplay competition in Landmark the other day. i went to the mall to buy some blank DVD-Rs (its time to back up some files and free up some hard disk space) and then i noticed someone in a cosplay...attire? cosplay costume sounds redundant. anyway, i decided to watch the competition out of curiosity. when the event started, i suddenly thought that i must have some secret desire to be an event organizer (something i sort of did when i was still working for an NGO and im not sure if i did well but i liked doing it). i wasnt satisfied with the preparations the event organizers have made. the coordination, the level of preparation and the flow of the event still have a lot of room for improvement. fortunately, they didnt encounter any of the usual contingencies like technical problems. thats something i learned to always prepare for. i think they should also adjust their program to cater to the mall audience. its not really a cosplay competition area so it would be really nice to adapt the program in such a way that the passing mallrats (like me) would be interested to watch (and not only enticed by the costume wearing participants). they did provide tidbits about cosplay but i still find it insufficient.
they said cosplay is already in its 10th year in the Philippines (according to the hosts/MCs. although verifying it is only a google away, im not really in the mood to research on the history of cosplay). i wonder if it became popular here half a decade earlier, i might have been interested in it? well, i do find cosplay interesting but im not really interested in participating or costume making part. i find it interesting that the participants not only wear the costumes but also assume the characters they're portraying (and its also impressive to see their creativity and resourcefulness). its like some kind of performance art.
when i was a kid, i always pretend that im one of my favorite anime characters. but i didnt dress up. i just stayed in character. i think this is one possible source of my multiple personalities. i "absorb" characteristics and mannerisms i like from other people (they say a toddler thats good with immitating is a brilliant and intelligent person. i wonder up to what age that's applicable).
i assume cosplay originated from japan. i think the japanese really do like to dress up. SNSD held a concert there and they said one noteable difference from their korean fans is that the japanese fans who attended their concert also dressed up like them. im wondering if that would count as cosplay. i think it does. cosplay isnt limited to anime, manga, and video game characters. if im not mistaken, cosplay is any portrayal of any character by dressing up like that character and assuming its...well, character. in the cosplay competition i watched, someone portrayed Lebron James and that was acceptable. so the Beatles can be the subject of cosplay too. i guess there seems to be no limit in the character that can be portrayed. and i guess the primary distinction in cosplay from any other performance art or portrayal is that the person is a fan of the character being portrayed. i really dont know much about cosplay.
anyway, i think cosplay is something that can be a useful tool in promoting cultural identities. lately, it seems, my blog entries always end with stuff im wondering about but i really dont exert much effort to explore and substantiate. its like an idea suddenly pops as i write and after saying something i find interesting, i leave it there. im interested in doing some research about Asian consumerism but there's really no reason for doing so aside from im just curious. i just learned that there's such a thing as the Green Wall of China and would like to know if its really a useless project but again...
they said cosplay is already in its 10th year in the Philippines (according to the hosts/MCs. although verifying it is only a google away, im not really in the mood to research on the history of cosplay). i wonder if it became popular here half a decade earlier, i might have been interested in it? well, i do find cosplay interesting but im not really interested in participating or costume making part. i find it interesting that the participants not only wear the costumes but also assume the characters they're portraying (and its also impressive to see their creativity and resourcefulness). its like some kind of performance art.
when i was a kid, i always pretend that im one of my favorite anime characters. but i didnt dress up. i just stayed in character. i think this is one possible source of my multiple personalities. i "absorb" characteristics and mannerisms i like from other people (they say a toddler thats good with immitating is a brilliant and intelligent person. i wonder up to what age that's applicable).
i assume cosplay originated from japan. i think the japanese really do like to dress up. SNSD held a concert there and they said one noteable difference from their korean fans is that the japanese fans who attended their concert also dressed up like them. im wondering if that would count as cosplay. i think it does. cosplay isnt limited to anime, manga, and video game characters. if im not mistaken, cosplay is any portrayal of any character by dressing up like that character and assuming its...well, character. in the cosplay competition i watched, someone portrayed Lebron James and that was acceptable. so the Beatles can be the subject of cosplay too. i guess there seems to be no limit in the character that can be portrayed. and i guess the primary distinction in cosplay from any other performance art or portrayal is that the person is a fan of the character being portrayed. i really dont know much about cosplay.
anyway, i think cosplay is something that can be a useful tool in promoting cultural identities. lately, it seems, my blog entries always end with stuff im wondering about but i really dont exert much effort to explore and substantiate. its like an idea suddenly pops as i write and after saying something i find interesting, i leave it there. im interested in doing some research about Asian consumerism but there's really no reason for doing so aside from im just curious. i just learned that there's such a thing as the Green Wall of China and would like to know if its really a useless project but again...
Sunday, October 24, 2010
the internet's progress is powered by our impatience
i cant imagine living without the internet. well, actually i can. in case the internet disappears tomorrow (which is impossible! it has to be impossible), i will revert back to reading books and watching TV. the internet (well, broadband internet) is the reason why i dont watch TV as often as before. i think my average TV use is half an hour to one hour daily. there are weeks that i dont watch TV at all. the TV programs that i watch, i watch them in my laptop (im claiming my sister's laptop and hoping she wins a Mac so i wont have to buy her a replacement laptop).
what i cant imagine is using dial up internet connection again (well, i cant imagine not losing my mind if exposed to prolonged use of dial up internet connection). ever since i switched to broadband, i have completely forgotten about those dial-up days of long ago (long ago means half a decade ago). i dont even know how i managed to wait for minutes for a webpage to load. now, 15 seconds is too long for any typical webpage. if there's anything that pisses me off the most, its a slow and/or intermittent internet connection (i think this would rank number one from the things that pisses me off). there are times i had to pull one of my arnis sticks from the cabinet and just hit the wall so i wont accidentally vent out my anger towards the laptop. when i was still using our desktop PC, i always slap or hit the PC monitor when the internet connection pisses me off (thats why i was amused when the repairman asked whether the PC monitor has ever been dropped because based from his diagnosis, thats the cause why the PC monitor suddenly gave out). my siblings would just scold me and say its not the PC monitor's fault why the internet connection is bad. now i remember those dial-up days. im really not that patient when it comes to internet speed.
so i guess the internet is one of the things im happy man invented (that is why its my concept for the T-shirt making contest for Artwork, stuff that make me happy. unfortunately, my drawing style isnt really for Artwork and the theme isnt really my thing but i decided to join after my siblings insisted that i join the contest). but the main side effect of the internet is that the faster it becomes, the more impatient i become. right now, im not satisfied with BayanDSL's 1mpbs connection (i just have that need for speed, like when im drunk driving. well, not really drunk driving but driving after sobering up). and its intermittent too. its been months of troubleshooting on my part and BayanDSLs. i alway report it and they promptly fix it but the problem returns after a few days. the only good thing i can say about BayanDSL is they have good and efficient customer service (unlike Bayantel. i wonder if BayanDSL can take over Bayantel's operations?).
i wonder if 4G technology is the internet's next big thing (since mobile broadband and wifi connectivity is the next step it has taken).
i dream of the day when the entire country is wifi ready. or an entire urban city at least
what i cant imagine is using dial up internet connection again (well, i cant imagine not losing my mind if exposed to prolonged use of dial up internet connection). ever since i switched to broadband, i have completely forgotten about those dial-up days of long ago (long ago means half a decade ago). i dont even know how i managed to wait for minutes for a webpage to load. now, 15 seconds is too long for any typical webpage. if there's anything that pisses me off the most, its a slow and/or intermittent internet connection (i think this would rank number one from the things that pisses me off). there are times i had to pull one of my arnis sticks from the cabinet and just hit the wall so i wont accidentally vent out my anger towards the laptop. when i was still using our desktop PC, i always slap or hit the PC monitor when the internet connection pisses me off (thats why i was amused when the repairman asked whether the PC monitor has ever been dropped because based from his diagnosis, thats the cause why the PC monitor suddenly gave out). my siblings would just scold me and say its not the PC monitor's fault why the internet connection is bad. now i remember those dial-up days. im really not that patient when it comes to internet speed.
so i guess the internet is one of the things im happy man invented (that is why its my concept for the T-shirt making contest for Artwork, stuff that make me happy. unfortunately, my drawing style isnt really for Artwork and the theme isnt really my thing but i decided to join after my siblings insisted that i join the contest). but the main side effect of the internet is that the faster it becomes, the more impatient i become. right now, im not satisfied with BayanDSL's 1mpbs connection (i just have that need for speed, like when im drunk driving. well, not really drunk driving but driving after sobering up). and its intermittent too. its been months of troubleshooting on my part and BayanDSLs. i alway report it and they promptly fix it but the problem returns after a few days. the only good thing i can say about BayanDSL is they have good and efficient customer service (unlike Bayantel. i wonder if BayanDSL can take over Bayantel's operations?).
i wonder if 4G technology is the internet's next big thing (since mobile broadband and wifi connectivity is the next step it has taken).
i dream of the day when the entire country is wifi ready. or an entire urban city at least
Friday, October 22, 2010
afflicted with the monovirus coupled by soshi fever
im really impressed how their company manages them. a nine member korean girl group, still very much intact in their third year, most likely will reach their fourth year together (i think the spice girls by their third year were already experiencing some tension. the comparison cant be avoided. their ancestors of recent history must be acknowledged). i guess making them live together in a dorm right from the start really made them bond together very well.
despite openly admitting they get envious or jealous of other members who get more exposure or favorable attention, they still manage to support and promote each other. most of them also have their own individual activities if their schedule permits them (DJs, drama series actress, sitcom, show host/MC, reality programs, variety shows, commercials, etc. so in case they break up, they still have a place in the entertainment industry). they recently held concerts in the US, Japan, Taiwan and i think also in Singapore just this latter half of the year (some concerts were with record label mates, some were their very own concerts). the concerts were just this latter half of the year. earlier this year, they were promoting their new album. how can their management handle all these affairs so well in different countries? of course they have counterpart companies in those other countries but...i guess i havent seen the Asian music industry in this light before. weve been so exposed to the US music industry that i never really wondered how these companies operate in the international level (because having foreign US music seems normal to us when it shouldnt be the case). the music industry isnt simply about promoting music. the music industry also serves as some form of gateway for a foreign culture to introduce itself in foreign territories.
anyway, right now, SNSD is promoting in Japan as rookie artists. they also have a dorm there because longer presence would be required to promote themselves properly. theyre doing good too. and at the same time, they are making a comeback in Korea. simultaneous activities in two countries? the group is fortunate to have a member that's fluent in Japanese (although all of them have learned to speak basic japanese). they also have two members who are Americans that are very fluent in English (well, unless they have changed their citizenship. basic political science dictates that a country that adheres to the jus soli principle makes any person born within its territory a citizen of such country). their variety is one of their biggest assets and their work ethic is really impressive too. i think the management got lucky to have acquired them. well, i will give some credit to the company in being able to select these nine from their pool of trainees. seeing some chemistry is one thing but making them have a strong relationship with each other is another. its not like they were childhood friends or college friends that had a dream to become this particular group like the stories of rock bands. well, they did meet each other as trainees at a young age but that's still a different set-up. every other trainee is either a potential ally or potential rival. i think the spice girls underwent a similar selection process but not as intensive and as thorough. again, i digress.
in order to promote themselves in japan, they had to learn japanese and translate their singles in japanese. they're not the first to do this of course. i remember back in grade school, a japanese song was translated in Tagalog. the japanese artist was Ted Ito. other than that, i cant think of any other instance when a foreign artist tried to adapt the song to our local language to promote himself or herself in our country. there's got to be someone else other than Ted Ito.
i think im the only one that's seeing this girl group in an intensely analytical manner. anyway, in a somewhat related note, i wonder if anyone has made a study on the Asian form of consumerism.
despite openly admitting they get envious or jealous of other members who get more exposure or favorable attention, they still manage to support and promote each other. most of them also have their own individual activities if their schedule permits them (DJs, drama series actress, sitcom, show host/MC, reality programs, variety shows, commercials, etc. so in case they break up, they still have a place in the entertainment industry). they recently held concerts in the US, Japan, Taiwan and i think also in Singapore just this latter half of the year (some concerts were with record label mates, some were their very own concerts). the concerts were just this latter half of the year. earlier this year, they were promoting their new album. how can their management handle all these affairs so well in different countries? of course they have counterpart companies in those other countries but...i guess i havent seen the Asian music industry in this light before. weve been so exposed to the US music industry that i never really wondered how these companies operate in the international level (because having foreign US music seems normal to us when it shouldnt be the case). the music industry isnt simply about promoting music. the music industry also serves as some form of gateway for a foreign culture to introduce itself in foreign territories.
anyway, right now, SNSD is promoting in Japan as rookie artists. they also have a dorm there because longer presence would be required to promote themselves properly. theyre doing good too. and at the same time, they are making a comeback in Korea. simultaneous activities in two countries? the group is fortunate to have a member that's fluent in Japanese (although all of them have learned to speak basic japanese). they also have two members who are Americans that are very fluent in English (well, unless they have changed their citizenship. basic political science dictates that a country that adheres to the jus soli principle makes any person born within its territory a citizen of such country). their variety is one of their biggest assets and their work ethic is really impressive too. i think the management got lucky to have acquired them. well, i will give some credit to the company in being able to select these nine from their pool of trainees. seeing some chemistry is one thing but making them have a strong relationship with each other is another. its not like they were childhood friends or college friends that had a dream to become this particular group like the stories of rock bands. well, they did meet each other as trainees at a young age but that's still a different set-up. every other trainee is either a potential ally or potential rival. i think the spice girls underwent a similar selection process but not as intensive and as thorough. again, i digress.
in order to promote themselves in japan, they had to learn japanese and translate their singles in japanese. they're not the first to do this of course. i remember back in grade school, a japanese song was translated in Tagalog. the japanese artist was Ted Ito. other than that, i cant think of any other instance when a foreign artist tried to adapt the song to our local language to promote himself or herself in our country. there's got to be someone else other than Ted Ito.
i think im the only one that's seeing this girl group in an intensely analytical manner. anyway, in a somewhat related note, i wonder if anyone has made a study on the Asian form of consumerism.
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