Gadongk!

a few years back, probably more than half a decade, i heard from a news program that one man stabbed to death his drinking buddy. why? they had an argument on which one is prettier: Ara Mina or Joyce Jimenez (or probably sexier. i dont really care since i dont like both of them). i dont remember which one the assailant liked, whether he is for Ara Mina or Joyce Jimenez but my reaction then was, "another one bites the dust." guys kill each other because of women. if i remember correctly, thats the reason the idea of a "best man" in weddings was conceived (i dont like the way this sentence is constructed...but im not going to revise it because im too lazy to revise. sometimes i wish laziness can be a valid excuse), to ensure that the groom will not have his bride stolen from him. going back to the drinking buddies, i thought to myself, they must have been die hard fans of the two celebs. just because your drinking buddy disagreed with you or insisted that someone else is prettier, youre going to stab him to death already? thats some intense admiration.

ive been a fan of a lot of things. but ive never been a rabid fan to the point that i would do something similar or be offended (well, maybe i would be offended if the comment was unreasonable). ive been reading comments on Youtube about fans defending whatever their object of admiration is and some are really rabid. they infer stuff based from their vast knowledge of the object of admiration as if they are an authority on the person itself (its taking the hobby of observation too far and yes, i consider observing people as a hobby. half a decade ago, someone described me as "the watcher" and a law school friend said that if the world ended, i would probably be the only one who would calmly sit down and watch it crumble before my eyes). they start to hate whatever runs counter to their addiction. this is common to fans of celebrities and fictional characters. they have the tendency to momentarily lose their grip on reality. not that im complaining since their comments are interesting to read (i believe its a fact that crazy people are funny. well, theyre funny to be watched from a safe distance). my point is, never ever lose yourself on things you love. thats just not the point of intensely liking something. or intensely wanting something. you get hooked on something because you have this intense liking for it but never let the intensity take over you. losing one's grip for brief moments is okay but always make sure that it stays that way. that it never goes to the point of crossing the line toward crazytown (really crazytown? cant think of any word better than this?) and do something like the Ara Mina or Joyce Jimenez fan. its just pathetic to be destroyed by the thing that brings you sheer delight or happiness (reminds me of an earlier blog entry about love).

moving to the bar exams (yes, im going to connect this topic to the bar exams like a 4 year old connecting the dots to see a dinosaur when its supposed to be a car, "yeah sure its supposed to end up as a car but if i connect the dots this way, i could produce an image that is somewhat like a dinosaur. or a dinosaur that just underwent plastic surgery to resemble a car that just crashed"), the experience of taking the exam and being a fan can be somewhat similar. some people lose their grip on reality. they develop an intense desire to pass the exam that some are taken over by their own intensity. there are lots of "horror" stories of barristers who suddenly snap and lose it. probably 1/16 of these stories are real (got to throw in a fraction and i was in the mood to throw in 1/16. sorry 1/3, maybe next time). its just an exam. like being a fan of a celeb or fictional character, one has to constantly remind the fan that the celebrity status is most often acquired because its his or her job (as for the fictional character, the fan shouldnt be reminded of it). and being a job for the celebrity, its really no different from other jobs or an office job (ok, maybe there are tons of differences but still, being an actress or singer is still an occupation, a reality that has to be pounded on the head of some fans. their claims or defensive comments will sound less crazy if they take it into consideration). the bar exam is just an exam. and one is given five chances to take it and hopefully pass it. thats very lenient already since some things in life, you only get one shot and if you screw it up, you lose it forever. and if for some very unfortunate reason you strike out and forever disallowed to take the bar exams, its just an obstacle to your ideal profession (it has to be your ideal profession if youre willing to take the bar exams five times. or some promise of some sort that deserves to be depicted in MMK, like swearing in someone's grave that one will be a lawyer no matter what. if thats the case, there are other countries that would probably allow a foreigner to practice law in their country if you pass their bar exam. if not, then migrate there, change citizenship, study law again, take the exam again. point is, if one really wants to be a lawyer, there are other unconventional yet legitimate and legal ways. its burdensome but thats just life's way of saying "if you just dont get it that lawyering isnt for you because youre supposed to become a rockstar and insist on going against what life has in store for you, then go ahead, youre always free to decide you stubborn mule" said in a foreign accent, depending on the country of choice where one will insist to be a lawyer after failing five times here). there are other jobs out there and a lot of people dont get their dream jobs. life goes on for them. sure it sucks but is that something thats supposed to stop you from living? well, for some the answer is yes or maybe but despite the awesomeness of being a lawyer, there are still a lot of other awesome stuff to be in life. well, there just has to be because if there werent any other awesome professions, then everyone would want to be lawyers (or they're just anti-awesome).