[During a sword fight]
Marshall: Woe is me! I'm not married yet! My ovaries are shrinking! Ted! If you wanted to be married by now, you would be, but you're not. And you know why? Because you're irrationally picky, you're easily distracted and you're utterly anhedonic.
Ted: Anhedonic?
Marshall: Anhedonic. It means you can't enjoy anything.
Ted: The hell I can't. I'm enjoying this.
Marshall: I know, this rules!
Lily: Don't Ted-out about it.
Ted: Did you just use my name as a verb?
Barney: Oh, yeah, we do that behind your back. "Ted-out": to overthink. Also see "Ted-up". "Ted-up": to overthink with disastrous results. For example, "Billy Tedded-up when he..."
Ted: All right, I get it!
Barney: Your brain screws you up, Ted, it gets in the way. It happened with Robin, it happened with "Half-Boob", and its gonna keep on happening until you power down that bucket of neuroses inebriation-style.
Marshall: [after Barney pushes a shot to Ted] Interesting...
Ted: What... You want me to do a shot?
Barney: Oh no... I want you to do five shots.
Marshall: More interesting.
Ted: [takes first shot] Let me tell you something about this brain, okay?
[takes second shot]
Ted: Pure alcohol cannot stop this brain.
[takes third shot]
Ted: This brain, dear mortals, is no ordinary brain.
[takes fourth shot]
Ted: This is a superbrain.
[takes fifth shot]
Ted: This brain is unstoppable. This brain...
Older Ted: And that's all I remember.
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