zone out boy

its been a while since ive been a "zone out boy." back then, i zone out so often that friends usually ask me if im ok or if im alright. maybe they just got used to me zoning out and got tired of asking. i always say im ok so why bother asking? but then again, i usually zone out when im in a crowd (that's something i havent been in in a while. i think). its when a lot of people talk at the same time and i cant keep up because i want to catch what everybody's saying (im greedy, i want it all. even meaningless conversations). thats why ive always been "effective" in small group conversations. and speaking with a loud voice is really bothersome, it drains a lot of energy (a friend once described me as an energy saving entity, where all my movements are calculated to use the least amount of energy for any given undertaking, that i dont make unnecessary movements)

i miss zoning out. its usually when i get immersed in an idea or theory. i havent had any idea or theory that captivated me so much that i just cant help but zone out and immerse myself in it to engage in some intellectual and/or philosophical exercise. thats why i think ive grown stupid after i graduated from college.

to digress, i remember my english professors complaining about my "rude" sleeping habits. i was seated in the front row of the class and 70-80% of the whole semester, i was sleeping. i think my english professors started complaining midway through the semester. one of them said i should drink coffee before going to class and wished that Kafka's Metamorphosis happens to me. the other english professor just couldnt take it anymore that she asked me to explain why i sleep in class. after explaining to her why i sleep (i dont remember what i said), she said that my problem was i was suffering from philosophical boredom. her reply to me didnt really help in getting rid of my sleeping habit. years later, i found out why i tend to sleep in class. im not sure what my english professor meant by philosophical boredom but i think the reason i sleep in class is because im really sleepy and bored. it just so happens that i easily give in to sleep. i dont see anything philosophical about it.