just bored.

someone made a comment a few weeks ago (or maybe more than a month ago). she jokingly asked if i had ADHD (because i was always walking back and forth, pacing around the room and i just cant sit still when im doing nothing...every week! well, almost every week). i said no but i might have when i was kid. i really was a hyperactive KSP to the point that it annoyed a lot of people, especially some of my teachers. i was so talkative and im always restless (thats what my gradeschool teachers always say until i transferred into another school where i suddenly became the most quiet person in class). thats why it wasnt surprising that i was very thin because i was always moving or running around (and im losing a lot of weight at the moment and its not because of physical activity. someone even commented if im on drugs). anyway, i tried looking at wikipedia to read on the topic. just for the sake of looking at it because im tired of all the stuff ive been doing lately. although wikipedia isnt really considered as an official reference like an encyclopedia, its mostly reliable. im not saying the one im posting below is reliable. im saying it could be. so i got an excerpt from wikipedia and decided to see if its possible for me to have an adult attention deficit disorder.


The Hallowell Center identifies the following indicators to consider when ADHD is suspected and recommends that individuals with at least twelve of the following behaviours since childhood—provided these symptoms are not associated with any other medical or psychiatric conditions—consider professional diagnosis:

A sense of underachievement, of not meeting one’s goals (regardless of how much one has actually accomplished). (hmmm. does this apply to me? i wouldnt call it a sense of underachievement but more of theres always room for improvement. like im not satisfied with what i do, it can always be better or something like that. its like an optimists way of saying it so i guess thats one point.)


Difficulty getting organized. (i dont think this applies to me)

Chronic procrastination or trouble getting started. (i procrastinate. like now. but i wouldnt say its chronic. because there are times i do stuff early. well, because im procrastinating on other stuff. so in order to avoid doing it, i do other things even in advance, just to avoid doing whats really important. but i dont think my procrastination is chronic. so no points here)

Many projects going simultaneously; trouble with follow through. (yeah, kind of but not really. i still manage)

A tendency to say what comes to mind without necessarily considering the timing or appropriateness of the remark. (aahh. ive cured this. i used to be like this and in a way i still am but im conscious about it. so as long as i can exhibit self-restraint, this doesnt apply to me. i wont add this since i can control it)

A frequent search for high stimulation. (yup, thats me all right. total of two points)

An intolerance of boredom. (sort of. thats why i make sure im thinking of something because i dont want my mind to be idle. so even im sitting motionless, my mind is really very active so as to avoid getting bored which became problematic because the thoughts in my head sometimes become more interesting than interacting with most people. so reality bores me. so thats three points total)

Easy distractibility; trouble focusing attention, tendency to tune out or drift away in the middle of a page or conversation, often coupled with an inability to focus at times. (crap, four points! i easily lose focus. damn it. thats why im better in written conversations. im more focused for some reason i dont know why. maybe because when im talking with people, there are moving objects around and there are lots of stuff happening)

Often creative, intuitive, highly intelligent (often? i was intelligent before. im a bit creative. so im going to add this for a total of five points)

Trouble in going through established channels and following proper procedure. (not really. i manage)

Impatient; low tolerance of frustration. (ive cured this too. im a very impatient person thats why i dont bother to wait for people. thats why i always go solo. and thats why i dont expect anything either because it just pisses me off. ok, i havent really cured myself of it. i just manage to avoid situations that will make me exhibit my impatience and low tolerance of frustration. so thats six points. halfway there)


Impulsive, either verbally or in action, as an impulsive spending of money. (oh shit. thats seven. im impulsive when i dont exhibit self-restraint. and im impulsive in spending money. really, really impulsive. someone should hold my wallet for me)

Changing plans, enacting new schemes or career plans and the like; hot-tempered. (not sure. the reason i dont make plans is because i dont want to be restricted by plans. as for hot-tempered, yes. well, used to. i sort of focused on fixing my temper so i dont lose it easily. but im naturally hot-tempered. fine, ill make it an eight since i do have the tendency to change plans on the last minute. i just dont call it a plan since i dont commit to it)

A tendency to worry needlessly, endlessly; a tendency to scan the horizon looking for something to worry about, alternating with attention to or disregard for actual dangers. (thats nine. im the reklmador, the problem-maker. a blockmate just made this comment a few weeks ago that im always looking for problems to solve when i have other problems that needs solving too. i have the tendency to fix other people's problems first before attending to my problems)

A sense of insecurity. (my cousin said i was but i dont think so. or i just like to keep telling myself that)

Mood swings, mood lability, especially when disengaged from a person or a project. (ten points!)

Physical or cognitive restlessness. (eleven. every morning when i eat breakfast, i walk in circles in our living room, counterclockwise. i get dizzy if i do it clockwise. cant sit down unless im watching tv. i just have the compulsion to walk around)

A tendency toward addictive behavior. (twelve. damn it! ive admitted this to a couple of people. i easily get addicted to stuff. like 50 first dates. or my infatuation junkie personality. i just cant help but indulge. depends what im in the mood for)

Chronic problems with self-esteem. (yes. give me thirteen)

Inaccurate self-observation. (this one i cant answer. wait, if this applies to me, then my observations above would be inaccurate and would render this checklist useless. well at least i didnt get bored for a few minutes)

Family history of ADHD or manic depressive illness or depression or substance abuse or other disorders of impulse control or mood. (none. in my immediate family at least)



thirteen applies to me. so, do i have ADHD? nope. im just a hyperactive knucklehead when i was in gradeschool (and an anti-social when i was in highschool. and plain weird when i was in college). professional diagnosis my ass. so what if i have adult attention deficit disorder? im a fully functional member of society. its not like im going to snap one of these days and become a serial killer when i reach the age of 30 just to make life interesting. some men just want to watch the world burn.