Saturday, September 06, 2008
am i like a walking information desk?
ok, maybe not a walking information desk but an information desk person. lately (when i say lately, i mean past few months), people have been asking me very simple and basic questions. just stuff people ask. things they ought to know to get by with their daily activities. but the thing is, why ask me about it? do i look like a reliable source of information? well, looks like it because people ask me (no matter how much i try to discredit myself by showing an image of a stoner type of person who easily gets confused and very forgetful). i mean, why not ask their friends? im the guy who is not a member of any circle of friends, so why go to me for information when their friends ought to know the answer to their question? is it because they dont mind bothering me? or they have no idea that a lot of people are also doing the "let's ask tristan" thing. if theres anyone that should be asking questions to any one, it should be me, because i really dont have a friend that cares about my current affairs who would be knowledgeable of the stuff i ought to know and also, im the stupid guy! im at the bottom of the barrel so why ask me for information or even academic questions (well i answer anyway because whether i give a correct answer or not is favorable to me. i get it right, good for me. i get it wrong, good for me again because it makes me less reliable and i will receive less questions). maybe im just pissed tonight. and im really tired of being the go to guy of almost anyone i know (both at home and in school). sure, its just simple and basic questions but if theres a lot of people asking it, in an almost daily basis or every other day, it really gets tiring and annoying. especially for a person who wanted to be invisible months ago. people asking me stuff was fine at first but its been months. sometimes i wonder, why me? the person or people that they should be asking are their friends. and last time i checked, im not a really a "friend" in a sense that...well, i dont want myself to be called as a friend in the "intimate" sense, because im not that kind of friend, especially lately (lately, again, means past few months). im a friend because im not an enemy. thats it. im the type of friend who is only there when needed and not when wanted. i operate on the basis of need. if i feel im not needed, im gone the moment i get an opportunity. i will be back when im needed again. and right now, the people who are asking me stuff dont need me because they have other people to go to. they just find it more convenient to bother me i guess. maybe they consider me as afriend, and thats why they ask me. i dont think so. i compared my relationship with their relationship with their friends and it really appears to me that im not on the same level as their friends, so im not a "friend" in the intimate sense. i dont think i qualify as a friend actually when i look closely at the comparison of my relationship to their relationship with their friends. people use the term loosely so maybe im just a friend by way of desgination. im digressing. point is, im puzzled why people rely on me to answer their questions? i mean, isnt it risky? im one of the delinquent guys in town so what credibility do i have or at least a guarantee that i know the answer. maybe im just pissed and sleepy and stressed out.
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