10-12 years ago, the four of "us" were composed of 3 college students and a highschool student (and eventually 3 UP students and an Atenean). we were much like friends only that we were, or we are, related (cousins by birth). its the age group that really brought us together and of course the residential set-up (because as i recently explained to one them, we have different "crowds" and most likely we wont end up hanging out together if we werent related). things were ok back then. life appeared to be good. we seemed happy with each others company. well, to a certain extent.
one of us was a brilliant and deep thinker that gives sense, relevance and meaning to the stuff around us and she also has an intellectual sense of humor. the other one was loud and annoying yet she brings life to conversations and despite the irritating stuff she does, the kind of company she brings eventually grows on you. the third member was the innocent (or maybe naive) and incorruptible one. a man of strong moral fibre, honest and thoughtful. as for me, ive always been the disagreeable and arrogant one. i was the rational, reliable and pessimistic know-it-all wannabe. well, they were college students and i was only in highschool. i wanted to be seen as an equal. anyway, it kind of worked out between them and me (because im the "apparent" black sheep). i dont know how the four of us got along. we disagreed and argued from time to time but somehow we usually patch things up in the end (and they bribe me with food i like whenever i get pissed so i will forgive them even if they know its my fault because they probably knew i will never apologize even if i admit its my fault. i was an immature hot-head and they were mature enough to understand that im rational yet unreasonable childish prick).
then one by one we "graduated" and our lives changed. one of us got married. the other one started working. the other one remained in college. and i graduated from college and then went to law school. the older we got, the distance between the four of us increased. its something i knew will happen. i knew it since highschool since i was exposed to this kind of change at an early age. relationships that last a lifetime is something that you have to expressly commit to and you cant do it alone.
for a good relationship to work or last, chemistry alone is insufficient (even chemistry fades). the ones in the relationship should exert an effort to make it work. it cant be done by one person alone. its a burden that should be shared by all who wants to stay in the relationship. well, for the four us, only one wanted to keep the relationship alive. the rest of us just wanted to move on. our lives have changed. not necessarily for the better but its still undeniable that things have changed. for all of us. and keeping the relationship wasnt that appealing to some of us since we werent really brought together out of similar interest or something like that. it just happens that we were young (meaning we werent saddled with the problems of reality and adult life), we didnt want to get bored, we wanted some company and we can tolerate each other's differences. so right from the beginning, it was either we grow together or we grow apart. the former lasted for years before the latter started to kick in.
even if i try to help revive the old life we had (so there would be two of us trying to make the old relationship work), it wont be as good as it was. for the simple reason that the rest of us doesnt want it as much. the fact that we eventually let go is a sign that we had a good run but some good things just have to end. its hard to accept sometimes but some things are just bound to happen and it all boils down on how one deals with it.
so what's up with us now? one of us, happily married, is in the US. just left last month. the other one is working and in a relationship. the other one is at home. just simply at home and still in college. and im a struggling 4th year law student. i said to my cousin that the next time we hang out together, it wont be a bonding session. its a reunion. and a reunion most of the time is temporary in nature. i dont think it can get any better than that.
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